Going Too Hard

     There are times when you want to push yourself, I tend to do that during my workouts. Sunday was one of those days that I pushed, but I think I pushed to hard as I had pulled a muscle in my sciatic area. Today, I’m feeling better, but as I look back on years past. I tend to hurt myself while working out at this time of year. I spent two weeks off during Christmas about five years ago because I worked my shoulders too hard.

     I don’t want to say that this happens because I’m careless, but I sometimes push myself to do heavier, and I’ve come to realize that with heavier weights, and thanks to Sam for his knowledge that form has to be carefully watched, that I’m not always careful of what I’m doing. This has been particularly more noticeable as I’ve been learning to do the proper lifting techniques for the Clean and Jerk

     Over coming fear has been something that I’ve been battling with since I’ve started this whole weight loss journey, especially the movement and abilities that I have. I’m having to relearn that I can do things that I haven’t done in years. Being fat for as long as I had been, I became afraid of falling down. Gravity hadn’t been my friend for years, and I would hit the ground harder because I was so big. With that, I’m having to learn that the ground isn’t so far down anymore, and I do have better control of my body.

     This really comes from also trying to get out of my own head. At 145.3 pounds down,  and I’m still learning about the ends and outs of my own body. It’s amazing with what I can do, but it might be even more surprising that self-doubt is still very heavily present in my everyday life. 

     These things will be erased as I do more things that I didn’t think I can do. I know that I can move faster and that I can jog for at least a half-mile straight. It’s still not very fast, but I’m getting there. I just need to keep going, and that’s with every aspect in life. Just keep going, failure is the biggest teacher, and I know that’s not something most people like to hear, and also many people’s biggest fear. Yet, if we don’t fail, we don’t have a measuring stick to use to get better. Eventually, we’ll succeed. Always keep that in mind when setting out to do something. Each failure is a step towards success, and that’s where everyone wants to be, successful.

     I apologize that I’ve been less frequent with my thoughts, and my motivation isn’t where it always should be, however, I often think about everyone, and I’m looking to revamp my motivation, and bring out content. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Keeping It Up.

It’s still amazing that I’m feeling so positive with everything going on. Another good week of workouts. Even if it’s three days instead of four.

My second session with Sam for the week got pushed back until five o’ clock on Friday. The workout was good and destroyed my legs. They got to the point where I thought they were going to give out as I was going to do bend over rows. It took me a few minutes before I could convince myself that I could do it.

I ended up being busy on Saturday, but I was still able to get over ten thousand steps in. I struggled due to my legs still being fatigued. There was a few times I thought not legs were going to give out, not to mention strong up on higher ground. I was glad that I could enjoy doing activities with the family that day.

Sunday was the day that I took my son with me to get some gym time in. We started with some cardio, and because my legs were still a bit sore, I wasn’t about that part of the exercise very long. Though we did get down and did weights. We tend to concentrate a bit more on the upper body when we go, and I’m one to focus a bit more on chest and arms when we go. I think that the hardest part about going to the gym and teaching him proper form is that he’s autistic, and has a learning disability. There’s some difficulty communicating how to do things completely the right way. It is getting better though. I just have to take a bit more time to get him to understand my instructions.

After our workout, our tradition, because autistic kids like routine, we go and get ourselves a protein drink afterwards. This is one of those things that I’m happy that we can bond over. We talk about the workout we just did, and how the protein helps to work on the muscles of the body.

It’s good that I’m getting into a routine that pushes my exercise. Being stuck on a plateau, not only has frustrated me, but I’ve been hesitant about getting back on the scale. Yes, there’s always been that fear of failing, but going in the opposite direction would scare me a bit. I will be going in and doing a weigh-in tomorrow, because I have to see where I am.

This whole ordeal comes down to the fact that this is a mental game. In the end I know that I’ve got this, yet I find myself at a difficult point to convince myself that I do know this. It’s funny to think that everyone is their own worst enemy. It’s a bit cliche, but unfortunately true. We tend to get in our own way for success. I just got to convince myself that everything will be okay.

Also, it’s crazy to see that it’s the end of October, and that I’m in the last part of the one year anniversary of my weight loss surgery. Among the many things that have gone on this past year, I still find it amazing that this decision has taken me on a journey that I wouldn’t have expected before I ever considered it. So much of it has been about self discovery. So much has just started making more sense to where I was and why I was where I was in life. It’s amazing with the realization of how linked the mind and body are. It sometimes feels as if I was reborn, and that I’m learning everything new.

Life is crazy, and there’s no real definition for normal. My life happens to deal with all sorts of random craziness, and there is where I find the strength. I think that is probably most people’s lives, with the random craziness, “the cards that life deals”. It’s how we approach those “cards” and handle it. Sometimes, people need some guidance in how to deal with those “cards”.

My “cards” just happen to deal with weight issues, depression, youth anxiety, autism, and a few other things that could end up pushing someone to the limit. I saw a professional to help me deal with the depression, and the surgery was something that helped me deal with the weight issues. It’s just sometimes I need to be reminded that I can get the rest handled in due time. I’ve learned so much from those “cards”, and I continue to learn how to play my hand.

The biggest thing to remember is that I can survive, and I have, and I will continue. Sometimes I just need to refocus and keep going in the right direction. Remember that, even you will get through it, even if it looks bleak at the moment, you can survive as well. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Thoughts

The heat has been in the high ninety range this week, and my spirit felt drained today. I even thought about not going to my personal training session because of it. Though, I’m glad that I went, even if I felt that I could push that 100%, I still tried to give it that 100%.

After the mental mess of the last couple of days, I’ve been able to regain my composure, and everything seems to be going right again. Creatively, I wasn’t aligned, and that dragged me down. Also, life seemed to be holding still, and if there’s anything that I can’t stand is for my momentum to end up in a lull.

I’ve heard news from the professional angle, which has been good news, just not the words I’ve been waiting to hear. That ended up being part of my problem as well, because I’ve been trying to be so patient for so long. It’s hard to learn that I might just have to wait that much longer. I’ll get that patience back, because there are worse things I can deal with.

So, I’ve decided to expand the team and have asked a friend to utilize her wood working skills to work on building sets, and get her into set designing. This is a prospect that excites my creative mind. I wonder how elaborate we can get the sets.

I’m excited that we’re taking a hike for Mother’s Day. It’ll be great to get them steps in, and it’s something different to do for the wife. A nice day to hike and picnic. I’m looking forward to doing this with the family.

As I set up my pedometer to twelve thousand, I found that it was hard to even reach that, so I went a head and went back to the ten thousand. It’s all finding the balance at the moment. I feel like I’m in a continual flux of trying to find that balance in life.

Not only with my weight loss journey, but other aspects too. I’ve done so much with the project, and getting back into being creative, there’s a balance that I’ve been trying to have. Family is also the other factor in my life. The give and take of being a family man sometimes also throws the balancing act off kilter.

I think that’s the key to balance, an even distribution between mind, body, and spirit. Every day, I find more and more balance with my body. The exercise has helped my body, not only do I move better, but I feel so much better. I think that it’s been helping me mentally, as I have to focus on something real, and the chemicals from working out, gives me that “high” of feeling good.

Spiritually…. that brings up something interesting. Jesus said, destroy this temple and I will raise it again in three days -John 2:19. I find this quote more interesting now than ever before. Temple’s a described as a person’s body in instances. Maybe with all the fat, and toxins that I’ve done to damage my temple, is finally being purged by my exercising. Could this be part of my where my spiritual being is being fixed up and rectified? I never really thought about it before.

Before I forget, I want to thank certain people for spreading the word for me. I’d like to thank the Bombshell Betties for following me on the various social medias. These ladies are apart of our local Roller Derby, and they seem to be very kick ass about their sport. I’ve been in contact with some of them, and have had talks about maybe doing some promotional work with them. Here’s their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/bombshell.betties.rollerderby/. Give them a look, like them, and tell them I sent ya.

I also want to send a huge shout out to my friend Sam Basco. He’s been working me out for over the last month. He’s a good friend, and wise in the ways of weight training and the sport of Mixed Martial Arts. He trains with fellow trainer Antoine Hood at Flawless Victory MMA. Here’s their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/FlawlessVictoryMma/. Also give them a like and tell them I sent ya.

Well, this would make the third day in a row for me blogging, and as always, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Phase Two: The Prep

This has been an eventful week. The things that I’ve been doing are working on getting the production company going with a meeting that happened yesterday. I also have done my first week of personal training, with four out of six days with over 10k steps so far. Plus I got cleared to return to full duty. So, allow me to break this up into organized sections, as I fill you in about the week.

The biggest part about my week is that I’ve been pushing myself more physically through my workouts, and my walking. Yes, I’ve been sore, yes it kind of sucked by the time that Thursday hit, and I wasn’t moving very well, and no, I don’t wanna quit. I’ve been physical with other things as well, as I helped some friends a little with a wind turnt horse corral. We moved a little bit, because it was going to take more people to get the whole thing done, but I helped as I could. The problem there is I never feel like I did enough.

The I did almost 11k steps today, and I was working on what is going to be our studio. The sweeping and tearing down of the walls so that we can fix the issues at hand and rebuild. I actually felt more accomplished, I just wish that I did more. I know that there wasn’t much more I could really do, but I have a work horse mentality when it comes to these things(I’m the same way when working on movies, and other projects as well).

Now we’ll carry on to the Luckey Bom Film part of the blog. I’ve been fortunate to be able to multi-task and set up the first production meeting of the year. So, the question is: How do we move forward? Well, we are going to be adding people to the team. Which means that the machine is getting bigger, and we need to learn to make the bigger machine run smoother.

So, this brings up another point: How do we make the machine run smoother? Well, with only one real project under our belt, we need to start bringing out more content. That was what the meeting was about yesterday- to start expanding the team, and start producing more content. We’re well on our way to getting the next project, which will be a short, started, and I look forward to getting the filming started. Filming shorts are going the way that we become a far more well oiled machine, and will be the best way to produce an amount of content at a rather quick pace, in comparison to a feature length film. This is a great way for the creative team to work on more things, and exercise the creative muscles.

While yesterday was Friday the thirteenth, it’s funny that most people seem to find it a day of bad luck. I find it a silly superstition, because the day’s always seemed to work opposite for me. I got married on a Friday the thirteenth, I got my real estate license on that day in 2005. The most recent being that I was called for a job interview that I had to turn down, because they weren’t willing to do a Skype interview, and the job was half way across the country.

I’m going to take that as a sign that things are really going to be taking off for what I’ve been working towards soon. I’ve been staying positive, and I’ve been trying not to waver from that positivity and patience, because I know the reward is going to pay-off in the end. This journey has been in the making for at least four years. Seven if I really think of when I was wanting to go into the career field that I was interested in, even before my meltdown.

Again, things are moving forward, and I can’t be more excited. I’ll be weighing in on Friday, as I’ll be at an event out of town next weekend, so there will be an update there. As always, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap!

That Mortal Kombat Place Did What To My Arms?

Let’s start out with my weight loss journey. As of my last blog, I was down ninety-five pounds, and since my last blog, I started working out with a my friend and trainer, Sam Basco, over at Flawless Victory MMA. This is going to be an adventure….

To start out, yes, I hurt, and no I don’t need ice to help the boo boos. Sam’s training me at a half hour at a time, and I feel like I suck as a person, and weak, but that’s always in a good way. Why, do you ask? Because I suck and I’m weak(joking). He’s pushing me, and making sure I do proper form. I think that might just be the trick: doing the proper movements, so that you don’t cheat yourself out of the work out. It helps that he’s a trusted friend and he’s pushing me to that next level.

Speaking of that next level, can we say hello beach bod? The speedo is coming out(not really). This is going to be a process, but I’m going to make it, it’s just going to take time. I did a set of Deadlifts for the first time on Monday, and I must say that it felt a bit weird clinching my back into the proper position. However, I also know that this is going to get me to lose that extra to make the one hundred pound mark, which I haven’t been worried about, but getting there faster and becoming stronger is a highlight.

One of the things I did today, which is a common exercise, but I really do suck at, is the almighty push up. Two sets of twenty? Not this guy, but I did it, even in the most simplistic way possible. Today was mostly upper body, and my arms are feeling a bit like jelly. Thank you for kicking my ass Sam. I really do appreciate it. My body might not, but I do, and I know that it’ll get better in the end.

So far this week, from Monday too now, I have averaged 11,826 steps. That also means that I’ve burned 2,539 calories, and that’s just by walking. I’d say that was a strong way to start this week off. I also think that this is the fire I need to get going stronger.

The biggest problem with what’s going on is the heat and the ninety degree weather. Living here in the desert, the heat just drains all the energy, and I know that’s something I’m going to have to contend with for the next several months. As a matter of fact, I ended up falling asleep at seven-thirty last night, just to wake up at eleven to take my shower. Being a person who works outside for about ten hours a day, I know that this heat makes me tired, and unmotivated. I can’t let that happen anymore. I’ve got to keep the motivation going.

I plan on pushing to see if I can get a solid week of ten thousand steps. I’m sure I can do it, and I’m determined to see where it goes from here. I also get to take my son to the gym this weekend and see how he does. It’ll be exciting to see if it’s something that he gets into, than we can make it a regular thing.

Another thing I found myself doing this week is being guidance for some people who seemed like they weren’t sure which direction to take their lives. I offered advice, and consultation and it seemed welcome. I think that the biggest advice I could give anyone is to stay positive. Keep fighting for that which you want to achieve. It’s something that I’ve been doing, especially in the last four years. A positive mind set is the one thing that I think can help anyone get out of the rut their in.

The achievement is the reward for working hard, but the journey there is the valuable lesson. That’s it from me tonight, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.