Bad Habits?! Don’t You Come Back

As with anything in life complacently kills. Sometimes we get to a point in our lives that we are comfortable with the way we feel, and things tend to start sliding back into our lives. This is generally true for us who go through the weight loss journey. I’ve seen and know people who have had some form of weight loss surgery, and they’ve gained the weight back. They may not have gained all the weight back, but sometimes they do gain a  good amount of it back.

Let’s look at the fact that us “fat people” go through when loosing weight. It feels good, hell it feels fucking fantastic going from a large weight, being in pain, and hard to breath; to going to fitting in smaller clothes, being pain free, and able to breath without troubles. The troubles that come with this feeling is that sometimes it’s hard to remember that it takes hard work to keep the weight off, and start to take the new body for granted.

That sometimes fills the vanity in us as individuals. Hell there’s a whole industry built upon vanity. Plastic surgeries, make-up, the dietary market.  Gym memberships go up after the holiday’s in preparation for the summers for people to get that “beach body”. Some people feel that once the goal weight is reached, their work is done. I know better since I’ve done the diets, and it’s crazy to see that the hard work has to be continued. That’s the only way to success.

I get baffled that people want to have the good looking body, yet they want to continue with bad eating habits, and an inactive physical life. I’ll admit, that looking better naked is a benefit to my weight loss. It was never the motivation that got me there, however the lady in my life doesn’t complain one bit. Health was the main focus, and while I was getting physically fit, I didn’t realize that my mental state was also getting better.

After everything that I’d gone through in the last several years, it was the surprise that mentally I was changing for he better as well. The food was poisoning my body, and the negative thoughts, the depression, the anxiety. These things were poisoning my mental well being.

When I was coming out of my mental break-down, I started to use positive reinforcement to change the direction of my life. I set out myself to be positive, more for myself than anything else. People around me have also benefited from my positivity, because I’ve been told that it’s brought their moods up  at various times.

It’s amazing to think that once I started to take the journey, it took steps to get the process  going. Finding the creative outlet was the start, giving myself a better hope for a future I wanted was the first step in this long process. It would take a bit of time before I would realize that I needed to physically change as well.

Once I took that path, this was something that I wasn’t counting on fundamentally changing me. I’ve not had any strong bouts of depression since, the six-week recovery process from my surgery. I’ve been stronger than ever, and I constantly push myself to do more activity. I have people come up to me at work and tell me that they watch me do my laps to get my steps in, and it’s a conversation that takes place in their offices. Not only that, but the inspiration I’ve been showing others, makes me feel good.

It takes time to change, it takes time to do things to improve yourself. It’s not surprising when bad habits come back in, because at first you think that it’s only this one time. Then later you give yourself the excuse that you won’t let it come back totally, but another time won’t hurt. That’s when the sense of false security falls in. It was about five or six months after my surgery, when I decided to try a donut. I had been around them for months, but I was able to resist them. This one time I decided why the hell not, that it wouldn’t hurt just to have one donut. I was wrong, and I felt like I was going to die for the next half hour. I don’t even know why the process of it was going through my head. I don’t have any desire to eat donuts, and honestly there are times that I might eat something because it’s there, but I realize it, and I try not to let it happen often.

The success in all of that is the fact that I weighed-in the other day, and I was down 153.7 pounds. It feels amazing, yet unbelievable to see that I’m sitting at 276.2 pounds right now. That means that I have about sixteen pounds to go before I hit my next small goal weight. Now that I’m over fourteen months out from my surgery, the weight isn’t falling off like it used to be, yet I still push and kick ass. With a BMI of thirty-nine-point-six, I’m feeling pretty fit. I know that I have a long ways to go before I get to the weight I want to be, but it still feels good for the success of my hard work. I’m not stopping now, and I don’t plan on stopping ever, because the after effects of the workout is part of what makes me feel better.

Just keep in mind that if at anytime you decide to change your life in any aspect, please, pay closer attention to the things you do, and why you’re doing them. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Oh So Busy

Once again, I’ve had an interesting week. I spent Father’s Day taking my oldest child to the air port so that she could go to Florida, and go to Disney World with her best friend, because he graduated college. So needless to say, my mind has been other places.

I’m down 118.1 pounds so far. It’s nice to know that I’m sitting at a 311.8 and I’ve almost lost my wife in weight. That puts me at a total of 44.7 BMI. I’ve lost almost twenty percent of my fat mass. 300 is getting closer my the weigh-in for sure. More energy and more flexibility, a winning combo. I can’t believe that I can cross my legs.

The other exciting thing is that I found out that I can fit into a size forty-two size pants for work. It’s amazing to know that I’m back in a size that I hadn’t seen in almost eighteen years. Sarah’s proud of me, and the kids are proud of me too. That’s the best part of the reward. Everyone else saying it is just a bonus.

So, this last weekend was also the casting call, that my assistant put her hard work into getting ready. It was a bit disappointing that there wasn’t a huge turn out, and I had a vibe that morning that I didn’t think it was going to be a good day for it, but as a trooper we did that thing. I’ve set up meetings for this week to have people try out for the parts still. Doing low to no-budget isn’t usually a popular thing, and I can’t hide behind the guise that it’s a student film, but I think that this is going to lead unto bigger and better things as we go. The interest in these projects are kind of huge, and I think we’ll have to present the casting in a different way. I think that we’ll also be building a dependable stable of actors to choose from as we go. The life of a filmmaker isn’t easy. Especially since I’m at the point of being the producer as well.

Nash Gray(2017) was a smooth process, and I was happy for that, but this experience isn’t going to keep me from obtaining my goals. I’m just sorry that the kids couldn’t get a real experience for the casting call.

I think that we’ll be filming The Dialogue aka The Reunion within the next few weeks. We’re also getting ready to move into pre-production on a medieval PSA with in the next few weeks as well. I’m happy that the igniter has been lit and that we’re going to be moving forward with content. So much to do in so little time.

The third project that should just start the slower process of pre-production is Unexpected Side Trip. This is a bit of a meatier project, and is going to require some sort of budget to get going. I’m excited as this is going to be my first suspense piece, with the help of Mr. E.V. Smith giving me the material to use to write the screen play.

I have to go back down to LAX to pick up my kid on Friday, and since she’s got a late flight, the family is going to be doing some research on film places, including cameras, and prop places. I think the kids will be excited to learn more about the behind the scenes stuff that goes into creating a moving picture.

That day is the youngest’s birthday, and Jurassic World 2 is also coming out, so that’s happening during the weekend as well. My love of movies, is kind of what lead me to wanting to make movies as it was.

Plus I ran into my buddy Carlos, and we’ll be filming some motivational videos soon as well. I’m looking forward to expanding the content I deliver, and I can’t wait to see his positive message out in the world.

With everything going on, Sarah’s becoming more familiar with the paper work side of things, and it helps the company be more organized. That’s it! This is the director and that’s a wrap.