What’s Been Up?

So, I’ve been MIA for a bit longer than I really wanted too. I’d like to say that it was just because being on the nightshift is what’s thrown me of schedule, but it’s been way more than that. While I would get into detail, some of it has to do with family, and with respect to them, I won’t be discussing that part of it. However, I will discuss some of the effects that has been in the way of how I’ve been.

For the last several months, I’ve been in a depressive fog, that’s kept me unmotivated, and uncreative. I’ve felt the affects of that on more sections of my life than I would ever care to have be affected by something like that. Did I want to kill myself? No, but there were times that I was angry and I didn’t like the frustrations going on in my life. My workouts suffered, my content suffered, and my work moral suffered as well.

Now, perhaps you’d like to hear what’s the change in things? I’ve taken several steps in a new direction, one of those are that I’ve enrolled in the International Sports Sciences Association Certified Fitness Trainer Certification courses. This was something that I had been thinking about for awhile, and I think that the CK Project going in this direction is the right one. So that means that I’ll be official to train others and make money as part of what I’m doing.

This also means several other things, like the fact that I’ll be learning the details on how I can break the plateau that I’d been on for what seems like forever now. It also gives me the chance to sit down and learn about the sciences of working out, and how that does change the body, which has been interesting to learn about so far. Now I’ll be able to talk more about it and have science to back my claims. It’s funny on how spot on I’ve been on a few of those points since I came into certain realizations.

Getting back into the swing of studying hasn’t been easy, after all, it’s been a few years since I was a student, and now with me working on my brands, it’s dividing my attention, and my family seems to think that I can give them most of my attention, even when I’m squeezing it in before I go to work.

One of the bright sides to work is that I’m just a week away from actually being off of the nightshift. While my intention was to get a bit of extra money to help pay off bills, which it has, as of the last several weeks, it’s seemed to be a struggle to get through. After next week, I will be on the ideal hours that I like. The other advantage that being on nights is that I was less exposed to the potential of getting Covid-19. Did you know that the nineteen is because that was the year it was discovered? Though I also had to take off almost two-weeks because I thought I had contracted the virus for a bit. I’m glad the test came back negative.

The pandemic has put some restrictions on us, and my eating habits had gone a bit down hill. My exercising motivation had gone down hill a bit too. Yet here I am, getting ready to get back in the game and return to kicking ass. Here are a few observations that I’ve picked up over the last couple of years: I rather do my exercise and training in the mornings. It helps get me going through the rest of my day that way. It helps that it also gives me time to recover throughout the day. It doesn’t make the rest of my day go easier though, as I push out my best efforts in the morning. I’ll just have to get back into the swing of things and not let myself have those late night meals that have kept me going this year. Plus, I’ll finally get back to a schedule that I’ll have a better sleep pattern. Since being on the nightshift, I’ve honestly slept like shit. Four-hours-a-day is about what I’ve been averaging, and that’s including my weekends as well.

Now here’s the kicker about my observations, I notice that I’m most creative when it’s evening time. I think I start getting more creative around five-o-clock. I remember working the dayshift, and coming home to eat dinner, ignoring television, and getting to work at my desk. That’s my outlet, and believe me, I’ve got more to say on that subject, especially with the latest project I’ve been working on.

The Geekultural Experience has probably been the one brand that’s suffered the most this year. I mean without being able to actually go to see the movies at the theater, or going to comic book conventions, it’s really limited our interactions. Quarantine hasn’t helped either because our large get togethers haven’t been able to happen. Although we did see Bloodshot on demand and it was a decent movie. I’m happy to support superhero movies, especially when it’s not Marvel or DC. Valiant has some decent titles, and I would love to see their brand get a bit more exposure.

Now, while we’ve got certain restrictions placed on us, surprisingly enough, Luckey Bom Films has actually had a pretty productive summer. While we were supposed to originally be filming Unexpected Side Trip, quarantine has prevented that from happening. I was worried that we wouldn’t be able to do anything, and with my motivation down, we didn’t do much at first. Then I came up with a no-budget idea, and decided that we would work with an even smaller crew and film something easy. Once we did that, and I had gone over the footage, I had decided that we should redo it and and make it better. We made a short called The Driver, and it was something that put me in front of the camera as well, as behind the camera stuff as well. The family was involved, and they did well on their parts, while Sarah was an assistant director on that, we were a team.

The thing about this project, was that it was originally supposed to be a one-weekend-deal, and we’d put it out. I had edited the original as a concept so that people could see what it was that I had been working on, and it’s been received quite well. Yet, I wanted to continue, and as we reshot it and I rewrote it, I just wanted to produce something better. We did well with a small team, and it was a great way to get the practice in for when we do bigger productions. I’ve turned this one-weekend-project, into something that’s going to continue for several stories, and turn it into a web series.

Now that things have gone differently than I had foreseen, the depressive fog has lifted, and I’ve been going full speed with so many things. We’re building on the brands, I’m trying to get myself in a better professional position while I’m trying to make the brands legitimate businesses. I’ve also seen some of the film crews talent grow and find unexpected positions in their jobs, that will make things flow so much better in the end.

I wish I could have said that this was a smooth year, and everything was great, but it’s been kind of rough on everybody, and I’ve seen an ugliness come out of people that I thought were better than what they had shown. It’s a sad part of life, but it’s a reality we all must face. At least I’ve not given up, and I sure as hell hope that you’re not giving up. We got this!

Any way, I’ll try and not be so long away again. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Struck By Motivation

So, I decided that I was going to make my 10,000 steps today. My current total is 13,054 steps for the day. Which means I’ve traveled 5.8 miles and burned 772 Calories. Not bad for a Tuesday. The one thing that I noticed today is that I’m feeling a slight pull in the back on my right hamstring. I think that I need to stretch it out, and I hope that helps.

With life going at such a fast pace, I’ve felt that I had a few weeks of lost motivation. I know that it’s a normal response to lose motivation. You can’t always go 100% all the time without a bit of fatigue. I was there creatively as well, but I’m finding that extra motivation to continue to work on that as well. The lack of motivation was just a phase, but it was a habit that I had been comfortable with for a long time.

As I sit here and write this, I think about how I would come home and just play video games, or watch television. I don’t really do those things like I used too. It’s funny to reflect on how I was at this time last year, and to see where I am mentally now. I like to create, that’s something I’ve been a fan of most of my life. Music, stories, poetry, I’ve always had a hand in something creative. Maybe that’s why I’m coming into a place in my life where I’m feeling fulfilled with the things that I work on.

My team should have some stories out that we can look at shooting, and I’m excited to see where this newly formed machine is going to take us. While it’s true that I’ve worked with almost everyone in some form, the relationship of this team is still relatively new. This both excites me, and makes me nervous, because I want this to succeed.

It’s not just that I want the production company to succeed, I want this team to prosper as well. Sometimes I start to fear that ego might get in the way, and that is something I’m trying to avoid. I have enough self-doubt that crosses my mind every so often. Yes, I know that my depression tries to sabotage me, and I have to get reassurance that everything is okay. I guess that’s the emotional side of me. I do try and keep it in check though, and I hate when the creative process seems to be hindered. At least what we’ve done so far, has helped put the team on a better level of understanding.

I know one of the projects that I need to start is to work on an outline for The CK Project. With me down over 110 pounds, I think that we need to start documenting the rest of the transformation, and get some motivational words on video. It’s an idea, that I’ve had, and I did a few small videos before the surgery. The only after surgery videos have come out on Facebook and Snapchat. Part of the goal is to impliment them more as well.

 I’m finding success documenting the weight loss journey through Instagram, and I’ve made several contacts with others on this journey through social media. These people have my full support, and those who I’ve talked too in the real world are getting behind The CK Project. As soon as I get the next prototype for the shirt, if I like it, I’ll be getting them availible to the public, and I know my trainer, Sam Basco, is one of the first customers.

Speaking of Sam, I took my kids too one on his youth grappling classes yesterday, and they seemed to enjoy themselves. I get such a joy watching my children do new things and have fun with social interaction. I find a fasination and pride watching them try their hardest. I think that’s how most parent’s are. I look forward to seeing where my family’s relationship with Flawless Victory MMA  is going to go. The coaches are great, and very supportive in the growth of physical health and the MMA profession.

Sam is also going to help my wife rehab her arm, and get both strength and range of motion back into it. We spent several hours in the emergancy room, just to get meds, and no real examination. I feel that it’s kind of frustrating, when you would expect a medical professional to take the time to examine the problem, but instead say that it’s common, give us a perscription, and send us on our way. That was a huge waste of five hours of our time, but at least she did get something to help.

Professionally, I think that this or next week, I’ll start hearing from the moves that I’m trying to make. I’m really excited about this because, I’m ready to move on and grow into new things(That is why I went to school). I’m trying to keep positive about everything, and while I’ve faultered at times, I do think that the pay off’s going to be big, and I’ve got an eye in three different places for the same kind of job.

Anyway, things are really looking up. I had a rough moment this weekend, but feel better as my point was made. I just need to learn to control the emotions behind it a bit better. So, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.