Living With A Higher Code

There are times when a celebrity makes an impact on thousands, even millions of people world wide. Elvis, Lennon, Cobain; these are some of the artists who contributed to the meaning to so many lives in this world. With out these artists, the world seemed to grow a bit darker.

This week my childhood died. Rest in peace to the man who had the most impact on my life, Stan Lee. I can’t remember a time that his creations weren’t apart of my life.

When I was small, I would watch Spider-man and His Amazing Friends, or one of the other cartoons based off of his co-creations. I remember reading an article about how today’s super heroes are our modern day mythology, I wish I remember where I read it. It was good. It compared our heroes to the God’s of old, and the entertainment of their stories.

As the father and co-creator of so much that is popular in today’s society, Stan’s stories leave a legacy that defines a generation. For me it starts with what some would call his greatest creation: Spider-man. This character reached so many people because he was the different hero. The alias of Spider-man, Peter Parker was an average kid with everyday problems. He wasn’t considered the good looking, popular person that was the arch-type celebrated at the time. He wasn’t a jock and was considered a geek, when geek wasn’t a celebrated choice. He was described in Amazing Fantasy number fifteen, as a “wall flower”. He was bullied, and didn’t get the girl of his dreams.

That’s probably why he ended up being so popular because he spoke to the realities of most people. When his Uncle Ben was murdered, the quote, “With great power comes great responsibility,” has been something that has spoken to my heart and has stayed with me. Spider-man was who I could relate too, much like Black Panther was a character that the African-American community could relate too. Stan’s stories were made for us.

Note that I did start this blog on Monday as I read of Stan Lee’s death.

I felt a loss that was like I lost a grand parent, I lost a teacher. This was like I lost a mentor, who taught me everything I ever needed to know in life. Grandpa Stan, telling me the stories to entertain and educate. I was fortunate to meet him in 2011 at the San Diego Comic Con, it was a moment that meant so much, because I looked up to his works my whole life. I thanked him for doing the work that impacted my life. I doubt that my personal story with his work, is unique. I mean he had a huge stage, and millions of fans. Some famous people are among the fandom, and I’m glad that I get to see people share the stories of how Stan impacted their lives.

I should say that my love of comic books helped me get into the highest reading level classes in school. My imagination is very open to the strange possibilities of what the impossible can do, and I don’t think many things would surprise me if that happened. (Alien invasion, anyone?) This is what carried on with my high work ethic, and part of the reason I like to help people.

My helping and motivating comes from the lessons learned in the stories that I would read, and I still continue to read to this day. Selfishly, that’s the way I feel when I help someone. It gives me a real glimmer into that world that I so love. I was able to save a friend from taking their life, and it was the greatest feeling, I had that impact, much like the hero’s on the page.

Stan got me to actually like reading and being a fan of comics got me into seeing all the comic movies that would come out. That in turn lead me to seeing the movie that would change the direction of my future. Sin City(2005) was that movie that changed my life. Watching how that movie looked just like a comic, caused me to want to become a director, and that’s one of the great things I get to do these days.

Stan has had an impact on my family as we bound over the love of comics and superheroes. I see that my son loves the Hulk,  and I’ve been able to sit down and read the comics to him. My oldest loves Spider-man, which I was surprised about, but I’m glad that our love for Spidey is something we’ll share over the rest of our lives.

If there could be something I would say to Stan Lee, I would say this: Thank you. Thank you for being the voice of reason, the voice of inspiration, and imagination. Thank you for giving people who felt like losers a safe place to escape too. This world is a harsh place, and your legacy will continue to inspire generations. As a fan of mythology, thank you for giving us a newer, updated mythology to follow. I hope one day to be as inspirational as you, and I thank you for making my life just a bit more enjoyable.

Push To Not Give Up

Our minds can be our greatest strength, but it can also be our worse enemy. I also know that this has been a subject that I’ve been touching on quite a bit recently. It’s just part of the journey, as I continue on building a better self. At least I haven’t given up on the path yet.

Moving forward, I weighed-in yesterday. Being in a place of self doubt, and not thinking I’ve been doing vary well, I was glad to see that I hadn’t let myself get out of control. The scale came in at 293.9. That’s a five pound loss since my last weigh-in. My BMI is at 42.2, which is great to know that I’ve lost about twenty percent of my body mass.

I’m kind of in an odd spot where I’ve had to get smaller equipment to wear for work, the stuff I’ve been wearing is getting way to big on me, yet one size smaller is still a bit too small for me. I did notice last week that the belt I wear was starting to fit better though. I also realize that now’s the time I actually get myself some new uniforms.

All I can keep telling myself is to just keep pushing forward. It’s always hard to keep that on the forefront of my mind, but it’s worth it. A misstep isn’t the end of the world. I think that’s the biggest fear…to just loose control and end up back at square one. Maybe that’s my check point, and what keeps me going. That fear of being like I was, with no will power, and no self control. I don’t want to feel the way I used to feel. I’m liking my new outlook on life.

Going back to the weigh-in though: I’m down 136 pounds. It feels good, no, it feels great. My next goal to hit is 270, and I know that isn’t so far away of obtaining. I’m now at a weight that I was before I got with my wife Sarah. It feels great, and that was over eighteen years ago. If I hit below 270, that will be a weight I haven’t seen in over twenty years. As I say and think it, a feeling of amazement comes to mind. I can’t even begin to grasp the concept of me being less than fat. While I’m no longer considered morbidly obese, I’m considered severely obese.

I guess that it’s a down grade, but it still feels negative to be considered that. I know that I have a long way to go before I’ll be considered healthy, but I’m getting there. That’s the mentality that I need to keep: I’m getting there. So, that should be one of my new hash tags- #Imgettingthere . A mantra to follow, and keep me going.

I saw a hash tag on Facebook the other day that I think I’m going to also start using: #itsokaynottobeokay. I think that it speak volumes especially since it still seems taboo to talk about mental health issues. I’m glad that I took up the mantle to be a voice for mental health awareness. It was sad when there was people that I knew had taken their own lives, and that’s part of why I do it. That and I have family members who also suffer from depression and I love them, and want them to have a long and wonderful life.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

Becoming Something More

I was at my personal training session yesterday. I worked out hard, and pushed myself. As I was walking home, I started to contemplate why I would submit myself to the torture of exercise. There’s times that lazy sounds so much easier and better. There are things that I fight with myself to keep going. I push through the burn, and sometimes it makes me feel nauseous. I find the fat person that I was for so long telling me that I can’t do it…that I should just give up.

Ghosts of the past, that’s what that all is. I’ve spent most of my life being weak. Not just physically, but mentally, spiritually. I never really stood up for myself until I had been pushed over the edge.  Somewhere along the way, I finally had enough of just the skating by in life. After not being there to stand up for myself. I felt trapped in a situation that I didn’t know the way out. I was desperate and I had a strong fight or flight moment. If you’ve been paying attention, then you know I was all about the latter.

The way I resolved to flight was either by running away, or by suicide. I came very close to doing both. Emotionally, I had to find a way to escape the world that I was dealing with. I was tired of getting pushed around…then I did something drastic…

As I had time to contemplate my life, I still wasn’t dealing with the problems at hand. Instead, I was drowning my time in playing video games so that I didn’t have to deal with the world. When I finally got a reality check that I was going to lose my livelihood, I started to make those changes, and prepare for life in a different way. That was the moment that I decided to invest in myself. I decided to go to school, and do something that I was actually interested in, and not just the safe thing. I’m not doing the thing that everyone else says I should. I found myself, and my inner strength.

That was the first step in finding my mental sanity. It’s a struggle when you feel like the worst person in the world, and that you deserve to die because of it, but this was the first step to recovery. From there, as things started to hit some sort of normalcy. I had to make the decision to get my physical health better. Even after the first step, I really didn’t care if I died or not.

It took me a bit longer, but I finally found the courage to do something, and I went and decided to have the weight loss surgery. Eight months after the fact, and I don’t have regrets… There are days that I struggle still, and I’ve had a few bouts of depression and self doubt. It’s getting better, and I’m accomplishing things that I never thought I would.

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Walking home from my #personaltraining session with Sam Basco. It was a great work out, but sometimes I wonder why I put myself though the physical suffering. Then I remember where I’ve been and I’m now under 300 lbs. I’m a survivor, and I’m becoming a warrior. I’m going to continue until I’m the best version of me. #GastricSleeve#PostOp#WeightLossJourney#walkingmyassoff#personaltraining #10klife#flawlessvictorymma

For the first time in eighteen years, I’m under 300 pounds. I’ve seen my worst, and I don’t ever plan on getting back there. The truth is, I’ve been a survivor my whole life, even without actually thinking about it. With the help of my friend Sam, I’m starting to find that warrior inside, and I like that. I want to be stronger, and I need to keep going. I want to be the best version of myself. Not only for me, but for those around me. I plan on being an example, and I need to be a person of strong character for it.

From this day forth, I’m going to be a warrior that fights to help people who struggle through depression, and other mental health issues. I’m going to help fight people who feel stuck and helpless. I’m thankful for the people who I have around me. I have the best support system in the world that allows me to be stronger than I am at times. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

The Onion That Makes You Cry

Being silent the past few days, I was trying to figure out where to go with everything that I wanted to say. I’ve been dealing with some personal creative slumps, and last week wasn’t my most motivated of weeks for working out either. Bare with me as I figure this all out as I write….

Last week, had some very good things that happened. After Super Hero Shirt Day, I was able to finish off my work week, decently. I like my new shift, and the crew seems to be great. I like the personalities that have come together. The hours are still being adjusted too, as I still will wake up several time a night because no alarm.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I was unable to meet with my personal trainer at all last week. So, going to the gym kind of ended up not being part of the picture for me. Though I did get to take a hike on Sunday, but more on that in a bit.

The biggest part of my week, and/or weekend was that we filmed The Reunion. I want to thank Rodney Connors for coming in and working on another project with me. I’ve enjoyed all the time that we’ve worked together over the past several years. He’s become a good friend, and a I appreciate the energy he brings to set with him. Also, Adam McGee, a new face that I never worked with before, but he’s a hell of an actor, and someone I look forward to working with in various other areas. The work these two did was amazing, and made the day go by so much easier.

The crew came together for another shoot, and I’m grateful that I have this team of amazing people to help me out. Celeste Joy, my cinematographer, thank you for everything, because of your experience, you teach me, and I love how well we work together. Thank you for also teaching Little Chris some of the camera work, he loves it. Sarah, my wife, does every promotional thing, sets up the casting calls, researches, etc.. My thanks will never be enough to show you how much you are the reason for my success in everything I do. Movies, weight loss, name it, and she’s probably the one heavily involved with the process.

Alisa Wiggin, my make-up artist, co-set designer, and friend. Thank you for making the actors and set look good. It helps to bring life to the screen. Plus, we had a new sound person on set, Chris Matthews. I’m glad you were able to come in and enjoyed yourself. That’s why do what we do, because it’s fun. I look forward to many more projects together.

So now the first official post school project is in the post production, I should go back to what this blogs mostly about, and that’s the weight loss journey.

Outside of my lack of working out, I did happen to make my steps yesterday.38600730_2131343093787954_6965737394133794816_o

We went up north to the town of Independence, and found a hiking trail called Onion Valley. We went up there with my friend Jenn Miller, whom I’ve known just about as long as I’ve lived in Ridgecrest. I’ve probably known her a bit longer as her mom and my mom used to work together at the Toys R Us  in Rapid City, South Dakota. It was fun, it was a bit of a challenge. We all got sunburned, but it was totally worth it, and I can’t wait to do more adventures like that.

Through all of this journey, I’m going to confess that the last few years have been amazing. The CK Project just turned seven years old this year, and over the last couple of years has really started to take off. After all, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Being as that may, when I started the project, it was more about accountability. It was my way of holding my weight loss, and myself accountable and hopefully show people the progress I was making. It’s become more of a Chris Keeling, showing who he his, and hopefully inspiring someone to make better choices, or to let people know that other people might be going through the same things, and that it might help guide them to not feeling so alone.

I have insecurities like others, and I’m not afraid to show that it’s very real. I think this is the most exposed that I’ve ever been, and it’s been the best choice that I’ve ever made. I’m the project, I’m finding the strength to fix what needs to be fixed for myself. I’ve also helped others find something in themselves to be better. This is all apart of what I love. Deeper connections with my fellow travelers in this world.

I’ve been spiritually, mentally, and physically weak. I’m in touch with people who have helped and are continually helping me too find the warrior inside myself. True confidence is replacing ego, and I generally seem to treat myself and others better because of it.

Saturday I go see my doctors for my eighth month check up. It’s going to be down in Tarzana, where I had my surgery. My young one’s have never been and are excited to see the place where it all happened. We’ll do a bit of exploring while we’re there, and it’ll be a good time.

Thank you for coming with me through this amazing voyage so far. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Friday the 13th, Anniversary

So, tomorrow is my seventeenth anniversary with my wife. She’s probably the single reason that I’ve been successful in the things I’ve done so far. She supports, and pushes me to do better, and quite frankly, if I didn’t have that support, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

So, it seems a bit odd that we would get married on a Friday the thirteenth, but I’m not a believer in superstitions, as a matter of fact, they tend to work in my favor more than against me anyway. Seventeen years is a long time. In my generation, it seems uncommon to be together that long, and yet, here we are.

So, for a successful relationship, I’ve got some tips for anybody trying to have a long lasting relationship. First of all is communications: it took me a long time to learn this, as a matter of fact, I think it took both of us to learn this fact. Something that can be coupled with this is honesty. I know that sometimes truth can be a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s better to be honest about everything. Secrets tend to fester into something bigger than it should ever be. I know that sometimes people fuck up, it’s better to say something then let it eat you up inside. They know, somehow they’re smart enough to know when something is wrong.

Something I learned along the way that I wish I would have known in the beginning is don’t rush into anything. The best thing is to enjoy the relationship for what it is before complicating it with something like children, or even marriage can sometimes be too much. Autumn came into our lives fairly quickly, and we had to grow up as a couple quick. Neither one of us has any regrets, but as a reflection, we could have grown as a couple before the complications of pregnancy came in.

Not everything is smooth, and love isn’t perfect. This is truth, in most aspects of life anyway. You’re your own person, with your own opinions, and let’s face it, as an individual, you’re not always going to see “eye to eye” with everybody. Some days,  you’re gonna hate that face of the other person, but if you decide to stick it out, you’ll be able to accomplish so much in your lives together.

There’s an energy that happens when you start a relationship that’s called The New Relationship Energy.  It’s that feeling you get when the relationship is new and exciting. You get tricked into thinking that everything is perfect, and that person is perfect. It would be great if this could last, however that veil will be lifted up at some point, and then that’s when you discover the things your partner does that drives you crazy. Maybe you don’t like the snoring they do when you guys sleep. Maybe you don’t like their bathroom habits. That shit matters, and quite frankly can end up being the deal breaker for some people. I have my faults, and she has her’s, but we look past it to work on being a family.

While we’ve been married seventeen years, we’ve been together almost eighteen. I think part of what makes us work is the fact that we were friends first. I think a solid friendship helps, because essentially your partner’s gonna know you better than your best friend, unless you’re lucky enough to marry your best friend. I’ve found a best friend in Sarah, and I’ve gotten to know her better than my best friend.

When you get into a relationship, you becomes a we, and as a we, you become one. There are habits that you’re eventually going to pick up from your partner, and there’s things that your partner might pick up that will drive you crazy somewhere. That’s something I can only say you’ll have to figure out on your own. However, a word of cation: if you have kids, be of one mind when child rearing, because kids, can sense when there’s a difference of opinion, and they will use it to their advantage.

As a last bit of reflection, I’m lucky that Sarah had experience with raising her brother and sisters, it helped me find a path to being a parent. While I don’t always seem to give my thanks to her online or talk about all the current issues plaguing our relationship, I think that’s in our favor, because people like to cause trouble at times, and again, people have opinions. I know that I have some very different opinions about life choices than some of the people we know and hang out with, but I respect people for what they believe in and I would never force my opinion on them.

So to my wife, happy anniversary! You’ve stuck with my crazy ass so far, and I hope you want to continue for at least a little while longer. This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

No Pain, No Gain

So, I have a five day weekend that started yesterday, and because it was the fourth of July, I didn’t get my personal training session in. That’s okay, because I made it up today, and suffered for it. Sometimes, I ask myself why I do the things I do, then I remember, because I don’t want to be unhealthy anymore.

Today, Sam started to help me find my inner strength to help push through all the pain, and suffering to get the best workout that I can. I’ve never been one to grunt or yell in the gym…and I’ll leave it at that. However, I’m being shown that it helps bring my inner strength out, and helps me keep going for a few more reps, at least.

Again, I’m reminded that I still have that man trapped in a bigger body mentality. It’s not always easy to over come, especially since I’ve not be able to do things for years do to my mobility. I know that I should be able to do more things, but what my mind and body think is sometimes two totally different things. I find myself trying to convince my body that I can do these things, even when it wants me to hesitate.

Since I’m on a five-day weekend, I decided to put myself through a six-day challenge with my ten-k-step challenge. I’m currently on day three, and I’m not quite half-way there yet. I figured that I would get a bit of rest before going back out to finish it off because I did squats today. I’m usually good with doing the three-sets of twenty, however, we also did more sets  and different variations on the squat.

I got my my steps in yesterday, but I ended up with another oddly shaped sunburn again. The barbell was a bit uncomfortable on the sunburn, yet I pushed through and did alright. I surprised myself with as well as I did. Plus, we got in some deeper sets on top of the normal squats we did.

The more I train, the more I think that I really do want to learn and also become a personal trainer as well. Like I said before, it would add a bit of Creedence to my CK Project, and I really do like helping other people. Whether by motivation, inspiration, or however, it gives me a different purpose in my life. I don’t think I would have ever wanted to do this about ten or so years ago.

I know that when I started the Project about seven years ago, it was more about accountability, than anything else. I was glad that people where being inspired, and it made me feel good to know that I could have such a positive impact, now it’s one of the driving forces behind what I do.

This is the legacy that I want to leave: The fact that I was able to help someone change for the better. There’s been too much in my life that’s been caused by negativity, and I don’t want to be someone who has turned into something that just adds to the negativity. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this all too much on social media. Facebook, Twitter; there’s a bunch of negative posts about religion and politics that happens.

I find that I’ve seen the worst in people on my pages. I choose not to comment because I pick and choose my battles, even though I’m also going to admit now, that I have a tendency to be interested in the unknown variables, just because I’m interested in the way “the system” will respond to it. It can be frustrating that I find myself on the losing end of the vote, as often times what I wanted, doesn’t seem to win.

Anyway, as I’ve observed the political debates, or religious debates go from a mature amicable conversation, to name calling and a two paragraph message on someone’s reason that someone else is “stupid”. I mean come on, we all have our opinions, but why does it have to resort to name calling, just because someone doesn’t agree. Why not just agree to disagree, so that the name calling doesn’t devolve into a match of a typed out boxing match. I feel that it doesn’t put a favorable light on the complete argument. Yes, I’ve fallen into this trap a couple of times, but I’m trying to become a better person, and not reflect that type of negativity.

All I’m saying is, try and be good humans to each other, and with that being said, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap. I do have my seven month check-up on Saturday, and we’re going to be spending the day on adventures.

A Half Year Out

So today marks my six month anniversary of having the gastric sleeve. I came home not feeling well today, and I wasn’t sure what it was, but I slept it off, so I guess it wasn’t anything too serious. I don’t think that it was the heat, but the pain in my stomach wouldn’t allow me to breath in the vest that I was wearing at work.

It’s a time to reflect on what I’ve learned from the last six months: The first of many is the fact that I’ve learned to love myself again. Self image is something that can affect your psyche, and when you hate the way you look, it brings down your self-esteem. I’ll be the first to admit that presenting myself with an ego and larger than life personality has been the way I’ve over compensated for my own self-esteem.

Secondly, I’ve discovered how humbled I’ve become by the response of my weight loss.  I’m proud of the fact that I’ve lost 114.7 pounds so far, but when people say how they have to do a double take to recognize me, that makes me feel good. I’ve also come to realize that each person’s journey in life is different than one another. I think too many times people, myself included, find themselves comparing their lives to others. For example, better employment, that seems to have been given to someone else. How people can eat anything and stay skinny.

I think that in these moments, is our defining moment. Do we let the bitterness and jealously define who we are as people, or do we learn to appreciate the voyage to get us to where we are in life? I’ve spent so much negative energy idolizing others, and I’ve discovered that I shouldn’t. I’m a survivor, and I’m not sure everyone has it in them to be strong like that.

I’ve also learned that helping others keeps being affirmed with each interaction I have with people. Helping others is a wonderful experience, and success in others gives me a sense of accomplishment. I’m sure that the CK Project is where I’m going to find my biggest purpose in life. Yet, I still plan on making movies, so the drive is to continue to multi-task for as long as possible.

With the recent news of the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, I’m reminded that depression and loneliness go hand in hand. People have stated, that they don’t understand why someone would take their own lives, since they seemed “normal” before they took their own lives. From my own experience, when in that state of mind, it’s hard to express, and “it’s feeling lonely in a room full of people”. Even when feeling that way, it’s hard to express the need for help. Many times, that demon is hard to battle as it often times seems like it’s a one persona struggle.

The need for help is often there, but hard to figure out where to turn for help. I was fortunate to get that help before it’s was too late. Had I not, I would have taken my life. The result of that help is in the contents of these blogs. I’ve become more driven, and I’m finding success in life. Plus, I’m connecting with people on a level I’ve never attempted before.

Self-investment, was a key role in helping me discover myself, and the potential is infinite. Don’t let other’s define who you are; you can always improve, and it’s never too late.

I’ve also realized that I’m almost fitting in a 2x shirt. That’s a great accomplishment as that seems to be the biggest size in most stores. I’ve been eyeing some shirts that I’d like to eventually fit myself into at some of the more mainstream stores. My style of baggy clothes have started to change. I’m no longer hiding my body in overly sized clothing, and I’m finding nicer things to wear. Sarah says that she likes it, so I think that decision is a keeper.

It’s incredible how far I’ve come on my journey of self-acceptance, and my personal growth is going farther than I expected. I look forward to having you continue to follow this journey of mine. I hope you reach out and network with me, perhaps we’ll find a bond that will benefit the both of us. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Six Month Update

It’s amazing to realize that as of next Monday, I’ll officially be six months out post surgery from the Gastric Sleeve.  So, the status update is that I lost another 2.9 pounds. That puts me at 315.2, with my BMI at 45.2. It’s crazy to think that I’ve lost almost twenty percent body fat so far. Yet, I’m almost to the half way mark on this journey.

I’m still seeing my personal trainer two days a week. I’m a bit frustrated because I feel like I should be making better progress with my strength, yet I try to bust my ass every time I go. The heat and work, don’t really seem to help me there. Maybe, I’m not getting enough nutrition to help out?

So far, I’ve started the month on a good note, by getting those 10,000 steps in everyday, except today. I’m trying to take Sunday’s off as my day of rest. I’ll be up to pushing myself again. My current goal is to hit the 300 pound mark, and hopefully before my appointment on the seventy of July. Crazy that it’s the seven month mark.

Summer is here, and I’m sure we’re going to make a trip to the lake, or perhaps the beach or something this summer. Crazier is the fact that my kids have finished another year of school. Kids grow up so fast, it’s crazy. My son made me smile yesterday as he has me as his lock screen. It’s of me doing crunches, and he said that he’s proud of me. There’s a joy in the fact that children find pride in their parents. It makes things worth it.

Moving on to other business: So we’ve gone into pre-production on our next short. We’ve got the location scouted, and are writing up some descriptions for casting calls. We’re also doing some research on props for the said short, being that one prop is the center for one of the character’s motives. This will be going on soon enough, and I’m excited that we’re moving forward again. Plus, we should be moving forward with the conversion of the studio. I bought the first thing that was needed off of the list, and I should have some extras from converting my son’s room for part of the list.

I’ve been organizing my scripts and going through each of them. I’ll have to re-read some of them as that the transferring from one program to another has shifted things a bit. I’ve got like nine different projects going. It’s weird seeing them all as a list on one page, but it reminds me that the creative process is strong with me.

I’m liking the fact that I have other collaborators to work with. It’s great to have new ideas being brought forth. I can’t wait to get into working on them, but again, I do still have several projects going on at the same time, and I know that not all of those ideas have been put on the computer yet. So there will be more to come soon.

I need to start doing more on my CK Project documentary soon. I know that I’m going to be using the things that I’ve used as updates on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and I’m going to be utilizing Snapchat a bit more. I just haven’t decided which project I want to use it for, either the motivation or the production company, hell I might do both, but I’m unsure yet.

Here’s some pics from yesterday’s appointment :6 month pics

This woman is my biggest supporter, and I don’t think I’d be nearly where I am if it wasn’t for her. I’m noticing the difference in my looks as well. Especially in the picture on the right. Plus my support and I have been together for eighteen years, this year. Her birthday is on Thursday, and she deserves to be celebrated.

Well, the work week is about upon us, so I leave these parting words for everyone. It can be a rough ride to be successful, but remember that all the hard work and patience will be worth it. I can’t think of a time where I have more ups then downs until this point in my life. Remember, don’t let the harsh words of others define you. I know that I spent a majority of my life feeling that way, and feeling less then. I’ve come to a maturity of self acceptance, and self love. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

P.S. This week, The CK Project on Facebook got more views from people I wasn’t expecting. Thank you for the support, as this journey gets bigger.

As It Keeps Going Down

So, I went and weighed in on Friday, and I had lost about three and a half pounds. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t the best I’ve had for a weight loss, but it was a loss non the less. I attribute it too the fact that I’ve slacked a bit on my walking. Now that I’ve been put back on a regular rotation for work again. I’ve kind of used that as an excuse not to push the steps.

I’m not going to use that as an excuse anymore, because my weight total was 318.1. I’m eighteen pounds away from the 300 mark.   I need to keep the momentum up so that I can get past this leg of my journey. 2000 was the last time I was below that number, and I look forward to getting to that point.

My fat has been getting smaller, and my belly doesn’t hang anywhere like it used to. It’s crazy that I feel different. For an example…I’m starting to feel something more like muscle instead of fat in certain areas, or I should say a fatty clump like I used too. Yeah, I still feel and look like I’m misshapen, but looking at where I was at this time last year is incredible with the transformation.

Not only is the weight loss journey, but creatively things are picking up. We had our second production meeting, and it was nice to add to the creative team. They will also be good members to have on set, as running a production always help to have more people to help set up the scene and lighting. I can’t wait until we get into the creative stride so that we can keep producing fresh content.

I’m trying to find a script writing program that suites my needs, as Adobe Story has seemed to stop working as smoothly as it had been. I need a program that would help with other reports as well. Camera set-ups, cast and crew, and the like. I’m looking at one called  Celtx, and it seems to be one that I can use, it’s just a bit pricey. Who ever said running your own business was going to be cheap?

This weekend, dealing with these issues I had, was a bit of a challenge. The plus side is, I survived and I will be at work tomorrow. The fact that the kids have two weeks of school left, that’s a thought that I’m finding crazy. I mean where the hell did this year go already. We’re almost half done.

I am however looking forward to having a four day weekend starting next Friday. I know that we’ll be watching Solo(2018) to start the weekend. Four days off will be nice, and I’m sure I’ll get some great hiking in, and at least four days of 10k steps at least.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

“Don’t Call It a Come Back”

It’s funny to see where I was in the beginnings of my blogging life. So, much has changed since the early blogs.

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

    As I review these few sentences that I wrote in 2016. I remember thinking that I would try and write 500 words on every blog. I also remember thinking that 500 words were far harder to come up with than I thought they would be.

As I’ve gone along, my writing has gotten better, and my words are averaging about 670. My views and likes have gone up as well. That makes me feel a bit justified in the writings that I do.

At that time, I thought, “hey, I’ll just right all my thoughts down.” Little did I know that I would finally come up with a plan that focused more on mental health and a weight loss journey. I knew that the mental health was always something that I planned on addressing, and that’s why I keep a certain amount of transparency in my life. It’s a raw and brutal truth at times. I see that some people don’t seem to handle my decisions well, and to each their own really. I’m doing this because I know what it’s like to be someone who didn’t know what to do about a given situation and was too afraid to ask for the help, until it was too late.

I don’t want anyone to ever get into a desperate situation that could have lasting negative effects. That’s why I’ve asked myself to commit to this task. It’s not always easy to speak on what is currently going on in my life. I don’t always feel comfortable being vulnerable, but I find it necessary, not only in my personal growth, but in the aid of others. It’s refreshing when I get pm’s that state how helpful that was for a situation someone was in.

If I’m to speak plainly about some of the comments. The ego’s been fed when the pretty girl I had a crush on in school, mentions how proud she is of what I’m doing. Hopefully she, or they know who they are, and thank you for helping me feel that I’ve not waisted my time on this.

Exploring who I am as a person, has brought me on an incredible journey, as I’ve made more friends, and more solid relationships along the way. I’m fortunate enough to say that I’ve got an amazing group of people, who I get to work with on the personal projects. Part of that discovery is that being transparent about myself has helped give courage to putting myself out there to network, and not be afraid of asking for help.

It’s in these connections that I find the most reward. Then to look back on the first few blogs that I did, and to see where I’m at now compared to where I was, or what I thought I would be doing at that time, it blows my mind. Never would I have thought that I would be as driven to succeed as I am now. The film company was something I always wanted, but to add the CK Project  and the Geekultural Experience wasn’t what I was striving for at the time. Hell, I don’t even think I was in any kind of thoughts about having the Gastric Sleeve done.

Now, I’m over 100 pounds down, and I’m constantly staying busy with my brands to get them up and successful. Anything worth doing is never easy, but I’m determined to make something amazing happen, and I have the right people involved to help me get there, and they get to share in that success with me as well.

Anyway, this is the Director and that’s a wrap.

Chris Keeling Productions

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

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