A Shout Out to all the Mothers

I’m friends with a diverse group of people. One of the commonalties amongst my friends are that I have mothers in my life. I’ve seen some of them become first time mothers. I’ve seen some deal with the loss of children, yet they all share the common bond of creating life from within.

Being a parent can be emotionally and mentally draining. Some mother’s have the hardest time during their pregnancies which leaves a physical toll. While I usually don’t blog about this, I have to speak my mind because I don’t think mother’s always feel the appreciation for a job that often times goes thankless. So, without further ado, I dedicate this to my mom, my wife, and all the other ladies who have allowed me into their lives, and get to be called mom.

I’ve seen you post on your social media that you feel like you look like crap, you get no sleep, and you need a break. I see that you feel unattractive because you’ve got stretch marks, and you no longer fit into that size six you were in as a young adult.

I feel your frustration when the kids are screaming and fighting. They throw a tantrum when they don’t get their way, or are rude because of the food you make them. I hear you when you say that you don’t feel like you get any help.

I’m fortunate because I’m a father, and my kids have both parents in the house. I know that it’s not always the case for you, estranged, or single. I don’t say this to brag, or rub it in. I say it because I’ve seen the frustration in the eyes of the person that my children call mother. I’m dad, and I’m the fun one, and I’m the one that the kids seem to respect, and hate to get yelled at by. Again, I’m not bragging, I’m just stating that it seems like I have it easier than you do, and I have an appreciation for the hard work you do.

There have been a few times where I had to pick up the slack because Sarah was sick, and I find that it can be difficult to manage  the house as gracefully as she does. I know that when I was a larger person it would limit the way I maneuver around the house. I’m in awe by the magic of you, a mother being selfless in a place where those little lives depend on you. They don’t recognize it, not yet, but the moment you’re not there, they will.

Being a mother is under appreciated. Your children act out in public, and then you’re being judged about not being a good mother. We have an autistic child who has melt downs, and the judgmental looks on the faces of people who have no idea is there. So, I see and understand the feeling.

Being a mother means that you hold so many different job titles, and non of them pay what they are worth. The payment you get is this: You get to see your children grow up and use what you’ve taught them to become better human beings. You get to see them become adults, and hopefully have their own families. This is the chance for you to become a grandmother and reap the benefits of all that hard work you had done to help these small humans survive.

You don’t feel attractive because of the stretch marks, and you’ve gained the weight that seems forever to get off. I’ve seen those insecurities, and I’ve got to say this to you now-you’re beautiful. Those marks, and that weight shows that you did the most amazing thing that I couldn’t ever begin to imagine. You gave birth, you helped carry life for nine months. You are a Goddess, and no-one can ever take that away from you.

You put your life a risk for a small thing that took everything it needed to survive from your body for those nine months. Sometimes, it might have left a bigger toll on your body than it should have. Hell, I experienced that when my own children were born. Most of that time, my own wife was away from me in a hospital. Most of that time, the stress got too high for me to handle as well, but I was there everyday to support the person that would give me the greatest accomplishments in my life. My appreciation goes much farther as she had gone through great personal risk to have our two children come into this world. For this, my wife will never know how grateful I am for them.

This dedication isn’t just for my own family though, this is for those mothers who have some sort of connection in my life though.

I see the struggles of a young mother raising a child on her own. I know it’s hard because you can’t seem to have any adult time to unwind, and be yourself for a change. However, I do promise you that all that hard work you’re putting in isn’t getting unnoticed. Mark my words that no matter how things happen, one day your child will understand and appreciate the sacrifice that you made. I see it, and I know as frustrating as it is, I see the growth that’s coming from it.

Mother, I see that your teen children go off and treat you like you don’t matter to them. They roll their eyes every time you ask them to do something. They say those words that hurt, “I hate you,” and it gets harder as things like, “you’re ruining my life,” are said. I find that the most ironic part, as the children will never know the meaning of that. As a mother, you have to be selfless. As a mother, the life you had lived before conceiving had been ruined.

That’s not to say that’s such a bad thing, but until that realization comes to them, they’ll never know the truth. They’ll never grasp the appreciation they should. They don’t know that there are nights you’d stay up thinking of them because of their sickness. Hoping that everything would be okay.

So, while you don’t feel that you get the love or appreciation of being a mother, and you might not like the way you look in the mirror. Know that your job is appreciated and it does get recognized. From this father, friend, and son- thank you for all the mothers who’ve selflessly given of yourself. Know that what you might think has made you look less than attractive, is just the thing that should be appreciated so much more about you.

I can only fathom part of the journey as a parent, but the connection of a mother runs that more deeply. To quote Eric Draven from The Crow, “Mother is the name of God, on the lips of children.” I honestly think that’s one of the best lines I’ve ever heard. I also think that it rings true.

Thank you for letting me take this whole blog and dedicate it to you, the women in my life. Sarah, thank you for giving me the two biggest, best gifts that at many times frustrate me. Thank you to my mother, and to my step-mother, as they both have loved me, and help make me into the man I am today.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

 

 

Could You Speak Up, You’re Being Too Loud.

This has been a hectic few months, I for one have been totally focused on school, and not much of anything else. At least I wrote a little something last month. Not only have I been busy with school, but I’ve been trying to get myself to relax a bit since my anxiety about getting everything done has been high.

The big one- Nash Gray has a fully edited version that has been complete. I turned it into the teacher, and I seemed to have done very well on it. This version isn’t going to be seen by too many people as I want to have a final go with the whole film to tighten up some scenes, and come out with the best version of this film. There are so many people that I want to thank for this deal. First and foremost, my wife Sarah. She’s been through this whole adventure with me, beginning three years ago when I took the step forward and go back to school. For this project, she was the assistant that I needed when I needed her.

I want to thank Ed Smith, my friend and creative partner. He gave me his ideas and we worked on them until we could come up with a story that would work for our first time doing a movie together. Ed was reluctant about playing the musical persona that has been his for over twenty years and I think he did well, and I was more than happy to bring life to the rest of his band.

Not too be out done, Celeste Joy Greer, my cinematographer. Her experience and guidance has helped me develop my “camera eye” and I’ve become a better filmmaker because of her. A thousand thank you’s would never be enough to show the gratitude I have, and I can’t wait until we get started on the next big thing.

Also, big thanks go out to Alisa Wiggin for coming in and doing makeup. It was a joy to have you do something you love for me. Kurt Mitchell, thanks for stepping in and doing sound, I appreciate that we could work together again, you are now and will always be a good friend to me. Also to Terry Bays, thank you for everything you’ve ever done when I’ve asked, you stepped up when I needed you, but my concern is with your health brother, and that’s why I had you take a step back. You’re family and we love you. I need you around for plenty of other things. A final crew thanks goes out to my friend Rodney Connors; we’ve acted together, you’ve acted for me, but I appreciate that you helped my cast this thing, and found our counter to Nash in Celese.

Now onto the cast, Ed seeing you come out and perform was awesome, glad you got the bug now. Curtis Koller, you had the chance to play Benny Kelley, and that wasn’t an easy task to play the tragic character of this movie. You stepped up not only as acting, but crewed as well, and I appreciate you being a part of this team. Dean, you playing Jake is against character for you, and while it started out rough, you really found yourself in this character and I’m glad that you enjoyed doing the work as well. Freddy Ferris Jr., it was nice to add a new face to the people I’ve been lucky enough to work with and I’m glad that you were apart of this process. You really dedicated to the role of Andy King, and I am glad to call you friend.

For the females of this film. Celese Sanders, you who lead the charge of female bad ass. Thanks for coming in and putting up with the hot room and warm weather. It was fun, and I also count myself to have made a friend out of you. Britney Brown, the one person that I wrote a role specifically for. Thank you for bringing your A game the entire time, even at the casting call. You’re talented and I look forward to seeing what you do in the future, if I find myself writing a character that needs your talent, I’m gonna get a hold of you. Finally, Amber Still, my stage wife, and friend. Thank you! I love your talent, and hope that we’ll find a chance to work together again as well.

For the final thank you…..To every single teacher that I’ve had put input into this Capstone project, you’re advice and guidance helped me, and I think I got a decent first film out of this. I know that the way I went with this project was a bit ambitious, but it was well worth the story to have been told in the end.

Not to forget the friends and family who said yes to allowing us to film at your places. Thank you for letting us film there, and I’m glad you all didn’t feel too put out by this filmmaker. Plus the owner and operator of KSSI radio on 102.1fm, thanks for doing the narration for me Jon. You are awesome and I’ll always support your radio station.

I’m gonna leave the thank you’s here for now, and call it a wrap, but I’m gonna put something out soon to explain more on where I’ve been, and what the future holds.

Appreciation

So, I wasn’t able to get out the announcement that I wanted too today…but hopefully tomorrow will work out better.  I do however want to thank my creative partner and friend Ed Smith for inviting us out to his son’s graduation party.  I was blessed to meet some new people and I felt at home with this group of people.

One of the things that Ed and I share is a love of music, and the fact that our brains tend to work well together.  The other part of Ed’s life is his wife Dawn.  I met her first and we would talk as she passed by me at work.  She’s a sweetheart, and since I’ve been lucky to have gotten to know them both,  I adore them as a couple.  Tonight turned into a great night to just chill and jam out.

I’m going short on this tonight, but I do want to say this specifically to my friend:  Ed, I love you brother, and thanks for agreeing on taking this crazy adventure with me.  Dawn, thank you for letting me take Ed on this adventure with me.  You have great boys, and I see that you’ve been great parents.  Again thank you, thank you! I appreciate you both for letting my family into your lives.

By the way:  I finally have a sign off.  I sometimes go by the director when involved with my filming, and while it is cliche,  here it goes.  This is the Director, and that’s a wrap!