The Onion That Makes You Cry

Being silent the past few days, I was trying to figure out where to go with everything that I wanted to say. I’ve been dealing with some personal creative slumps, and last week wasn’t my most motivated of weeks for working out either. Bare with me as I figure this all out as I write….

Last week, had some very good things that happened. After Super Hero Shirt Day, I was able to finish off my work week, decently. I like my new shift, and the crew seems to be great. I like the personalities that have come together. The hours are still being adjusted too, as I still will wake up several time a night because no alarm.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I was unable to meet with my personal trainer at all last week. So, going to the gym kind of ended up not being part of the picture for me. Though I did get to take a hike on Sunday, but more on that in a bit.

The biggest part of my week, and/or weekend was that we filmed The Reunion. I want to thank Rodney Connors for coming in and working on another project with me. I’ve enjoyed all the time that we’ve worked together over the past several years. He’s become a good friend, and a I appreciate the energy he brings to set with him. Also, Adam McGee, a new face that I never worked with before, but he’s a hell of an actor, and someone I look forward to working with in various other areas. The work these two did was amazing, and made the day go by so much easier.

The crew came together for another shoot, and I’m grateful that I have this team of amazing people to help me out. Celeste Joy, my cinematographer, thank you for everything, because of your experience, you teach me, and I love how well we work together. Thank you for also teaching Little Chris some of the camera work, he loves it. Sarah, my wife, does every promotional thing, sets up the casting calls, researches, etc.. My thanks will never be enough to show you how much you are the reason for my success in everything I do. Movies, weight loss, name it, and she’s probably the one heavily involved with the process.

Alisa Wiggin, my make-up artist, co-set designer, and friend. Thank you for making the actors and set look good. It helps to bring life to the screen. Plus, we had a new sound person on set, Chris Matthews. I’m glad you were able to come in and enjoyed yourself. That’s why do what we do, because it’s fun. I look forward to many more projects together.

So now the first official post school project is in the post production, I should go back to what this blogs mostly about, and that’s the weight loss journey.

Outside of my lack of working out, I did happen to make my steps yesterday.38600730_2131343093787954_6965737394133794816_o

We went up north to the town of Independence, and found a hiking trail called Onion Valley. We went up there with my friend Jenn Miller, whom I’ve known just about as long as I’ve lived in Ridgecrest. I’ve probably known her a bit longer as her mom and my mom used to work together at the Toys R Us  in Rapid City, South Dakota. It was fun, it was a bit of a challenge. We all got sunburned, but it was totally worth it, and I can’t wait to do more adventures like that.

Through all of this journey, I’m going to confess that the last few years have been amazing. The CK Project just turned seven years old this year, and over the last couple of years has really started to take off. After all, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Being as that may, when I started the project, it was more about accountability. It was my way of holding my weight loss, and myself accountable and hopefully show people the progress I was making. It’s become more of a Chris Keeling, showing who he his, and hopefully inspiring someone to make better choices, or to let people know that other people might be going through the same things, and that it might help guide them to not feeling so alone.

I have insecurities like others, and I’m not afraid to show that it’s very real. I think this is the most exposed that I’ve ever been, and it’s been the best choice that I’ve ever made. I’m the project, I’m finding the strength to fix what needs to be fixed for myself. I’ve also helped others find something in themselves to be better. This is all apart of what I love. Deeper connections with my fellow travelers in this world.

I’ve been spiritually, mentally, and physically weak. I’m in touch with people who have helped and are continually helping me too find the warrior inside myself. True confidence is replacing ego, and I generally seem to treat myself and others better because of it.

Saturday I go see my doctors for my eighth month check up. It’s going to be down in Tarzana, where I had my surgery. My young one’s have never been and are excited to see the place where it all happened. We’ll do a bit of exploring while we’re there, and it’ll be a good time.

Thank you for coming with me through this amazing voyage so far. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Sixteen Years and How the Hell Is This Working?!?

So, yesterday was my sixteenth year being married to Sarah, and instead of the usual love note of how great I think she is, I think I’m going to reflect on the experience on how I survived the same person putting up with my mischievous ways. I hope this shows a how our bond works, and helps show others that it’s possible to do.

First on the list is communication, yes it’s cliche, but it’s also the truest fact in making anything work.  If you’re not going to talk about what bothers you, then how’s it going to get fixed?  All the bottled up feelings do is cause bitterness, and that’s not positive progress.  Honest communication is the only way to go.  If you don’t like something, say it. If you do like something also say it.  Too many people are negative in this world as it is.  Showing your partner that you appreciate the things they do, is a great way to say I love you.

Secondly, have a sense of humor. I realize this might sound strange to some people, but laughter is the best medicine and a great way to enjoy each others company.  Sarah will say that it’s my fault that she has all the laugh lines on her face, but I guess that’s what you get when you marry someone with a strong sense of humor.  Besides laughing’s always a fun time.

Third in this list is sex.  There is a bond between a couple who enjoy the physical contact that they share.  I’m not going into the science, but there are plenty of articles about the benefits in sex.  Yes, it feels good, and yes, it does help you relax, but it’s always great to bring you and your partner back together as one, maybe that’s why orgasm’s also referred as the big O? One, orgasm…something to ponder.

Now it gets to the more tricky parts of a union.  You’re going to fight, and do it many times throughout your journey, that’s just a fact, people have opinions, and sometimes those opinions are assholes about it.  At some point if you look at the arguments, you realize that most of the time, their over petty little things, but they do generate the most heat.  It’s the bigger fights that get concerning.  I know that there have been times that I’ve wanted to call it quits, but if you can endure the rough times, you can make it.

When being in a relationship as  long as I have, you really do get to know the person, and in my case, I know my wife, inside and out. Sad part is that isn’t even a cliche or a joke.  We went through some rough pregnancies together and I’ve seen her insides.  Ultra sounds, X-rays, you name it, and I’ve seen it.  I’m thankful that we made it through those times, and have two great children. They are a pain in the ass, but I love them regardless.

Speaking of children, this will move on to the next point.  You have a partnership, either marriage, civil, domestic, etc… and some times you have kids. When child rearing, you really need to be on the same page, or total chaos. Mom says no, dad says yes, then you have kids swinging from the ceiling fan in total anarchy.  Really, get on the same page, then the kids don’t get away with their evil ways, which also doesn’t lead by to my point from two paragraphs ago, about fighting.  And yes, there will be plenty arguments about the kids along the way.

A convenience that should be on the list of things you should have, two bathrooms.  I know that not everyone has that, as we don’t currently, but I live with three girls, and with my son and I, dude, we could use that extra bathroom.  With bathrooms, people also start to see the less pleasant habits of the partner.  The tooth paste being squeezed from the middle(you monster), hair in the sink, clothes strung everywhere, the list can go on.  I’ve learned to leave the toilet seat down after I’m done, as not to get into an argument.  It makes life easier to give that one to her that way.

I hope you’re finding things insightful, or at least entertaining so far, because there is so much more to talk about, like responsibility.  When you have a relationship, mine being close to seventeen years together, you learn that the best way to work is to help each other. Build your partner up, support their passions, in the end they chose you to spend their lives with. I don’t know how the hell this woman, who is beautiful, supportive, caring, strong, and talented, would ever pick up this average, egotistical, loud, foul mouthed person to want to stick around for such a long amount of time.  She builds me up, and supports my crazy ideas.  I try to support her, but I faulter in my own arrogance.  I do try to support her. She like photography, and wants to do that for the rest of her life, and I try to support that.

The other ugly truth, nothing is equal.  Truth is, she has physical things that calls on her demand, remember the rough pregnancies?  They took a toll.  I have mental illness that also takes special demands.  Then we have kids that have their needs as well.  So nothing is equal, and you have to just except that.  Cliche- mother is care taker and father is disciplinarian. Where’s the equality in that? Mother stays home and takes care of the kids, and father works, where’s the equality in that?  Just except that having a relationship and family isn’t something that ends up being equal.  Sure there are times that the dynamic changes a little, but in my family, mom is needed for everything, and dad is the protector.

One more thing, that I forgot to mention earlier- if you find someone that you might want to possibly start a life with, don’t rush the family part.  Sarah and I got together, and Autumn wasn’t that far behind, so almost our whole relationship has been as parents. I wouldn’t change it, and to be honest, I’ve got the most awesome parents who’ve given us the chance to have time so that we can just be a couple. So, spend time being a couple, learn each other, see if that’s who you truly want to spend the rest of your life with. Once children come into play, everything changes. I know couples who rushed into the family part, and as the kids have grown up and moved out of the house, the parents don’t know how to be a couple.  That’s why communication, honesty, knowing that person is important for a successful relationship. While children are a blessing, they become the main focus while they are young, and sometimes people forget how to be a couple.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.