Water To Make It Grow

There was an idea. A minuscule thought that I decided I couldn’t just let go. So, I took that thought, and I decided to plant it. I needed a way to make this tiny thought grow. I needed to nurture it. I had to wait to see the buds come out of the soil. I was kind of scared to think about how it would look, if that bud would be worth it, and yet I needed to see if I could turn it into a flower. Then the thoughts of would it be good enough to bare fruit. I just wasn’t sure, if I was the right gardener.

The idea was to better myself, and I spent about a year thinking about it. Hell, I don’t even think that I thought too much on it, but that I wanted to just shut everything off. I didn’t want to deal with what life had given me at that time. I just wanted to feel numb. I wasn’t ready to grow yet.

When I had found out that change needed to happen, that’s when the idea started to form. I wasn’t quite ready for it to grow, but it was starting. When I decided to plant it, I made one of the most grown up decisions of my life: I would go back to school. I was tired of the wasteland that had become my life. I was tired of feeling trapped in a barren land where nothing was seemingly providing me with more than an unknown thirst. I couldn’t find a way to hydrate my soul, and I became desperate to quench that thirst. I just didn’t know how, or what I could do to change that feeling.

All I had known was that I needed something drastic to happen, and that came in the form of three words, “What’s up, bitches?” This would provide me with the time I needed to find the help and the watering trough that I would need to refresh myself. It’s funny to look back on that moment and realize that from a professional standpoint, “what’s up, bitches,” would be my legacy. Little did I realize that my life would take a drastic turn, and push me in ways I hadn’t expected.

As the seed was in the ground, I needed to water it, and school was the start of the fountain that would turn the seed into a bud. As I would go along, that fountain would also help that bud grow into a tree. This tree would bare the sweetest fruit that I had ever had in my life. I would become satisfied with a full belly, and the thirst would disappear.

As that tree started to grow almost four years ago. So would my life, and how funny that I would compare a tree to my life, as often that is the symbol of life. As a seed, my life was in shambles, I was ready to die, and I didn’t have my shit together. As, the process of education and going back to work happened, the tree grew bigger, and my life started to find the proper direction. Life had started to root into a solid foundation.

I wouldn’t have imagine that the fruit would end up being goals that I had never expected to accomplish. The CK Project was a seed that had died out when my life had become that barren wasteland. I had always wanted my own production company, when I was younger I always imagined that I’d be producing music, and movies, along with acting hadn’t ever been apart of that picture. Yet Luckey Bom Films would end up being the first fruit, and after consideration. The health and wellness part would become the second fruit.

Besides the Geekultural Experience the biggest blossom from the tree has been the drive that I never knew I had. This is where the gardening takes place, as I try to bare more fruit for my labors. So, now I’ve had time to see where my potential is taking me. I continue to grow, and the fruit keeps getting bigger and better. Life is turning into Eden for me, and I love it.

One year ago today, I had my first sleep study. It would lead me to this moment where I’m over one hundred pounds lighter, and my life expectancy has gotten longer. I’ve grown as a man, and I couldn’t be any more grateful for the support that I constantly get. The Facebook likes and comments, the Instagram likes, the Twitter comments. It all goes to validate what I’ve been trying to accomplish, and with the inspiration that people have told me that get from me, shows that I’m helping harvesting more gardens, and I hope that people can get what they are in return looking for.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

“Don’t Call It a Come Back”

It’s funny to see where I was in the beginnings of my blogging life. So, much has changed since the early blogs.

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

    As I review these few sentences that I wrote in 2016. I remember thinking that I would try and write 500 words on every blog. I also remember thinking that 500 words were far harder to come up with than I thought they would be.

As I’ve gone along, my writing has gotten better, and my words are averaging about 670. My views and likes have gone up as well. That makes me feel a bit justified in the writings that I do.

At that time, I thought, “hey, I’ll just right all my thoughts down.” Little did I know that I would finally come up with a plan that focused more on mental health and a weight loss journey. I knew that the mental health was always something that I planned on addressing, and that’s why I keep a certain amount of transparency in my life. It’s a raw and brutal truth at times. I see that some people don’t seem to handle my decisions well, and to each their own really. I’m doing this because I know what it’s like to be someone who didn’t know what to do about a given situation and was too afraid to ask for the help, until it was too late.

I don’t want anyone to ever get into a desperate situation that could have lasting negative effects. That’s why I’ve asked myself to commit to this task. It’s not always easy to speak on what is currently going on in my life. I don’t always feel comfortable being vulnerable, but I find it necessary, not only in my personal growth, but in the aid of others. It’s refreshing when I get pm’s that state how helpful that was for a situation someone was in.

If I’m to speak plainly about some of the comments. The ego’s been fed when the pretty girl I had a crush on in school, mentions how proud she is of what I’m doing. Hopefully she, or they know who they are, and thank you for helping me feel that I’ve not waisted my time on this.

Exploring who I am as a person, has brought me on an incredible journey, as I’ve made more friends, and more solid relationships along the way. I’m fortunate enough to say that I’ve got an amazing group of people, who I get to work with on the personal projects. Part of that discovery is that being transparent about myself has helped give courage to putting myself out there to network, and not be afraid of asking for help.

It’s in these connections that I find the most reward. Then to look back on the first few blogs that I did, and to see where I’m at now compared to where I was, or what I thought I would be doing at that time, it blows my mind. Never would I have thought that I would be as driven to succeed as I am now. The film company was something I always wanted, but to add the CK Project  and the Geekultural Experience wasn’t what I was striving for at the time. Hell, I don’t even think I was in any kind of thoughts about having the Gastric Sleeve done.

Now, I’m over 100 pounds down, and I’m constantly staying busy with my brands to get them up and successful. Anything worth doing is never easy, but I’m determined to make something amazing happen, and I have the right people involved to help me get there, and they get to share in that success with me as well.

Anyway, this is the Director and that’s a wrap.

Chris Keeling Productions

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

View original post

Viva Las Graduation, I Lost Something….

Well, Friday I graduated from Los Angeles Film School and went to Las Vegas to celebrate with Sarah and my girl Echo. I’d like to share Friday’s ceremony though. It started at noon, and there was about three sets of groups that graduated. I was in the second group of Digital Filmmaking students. I want to say that we were one of the first groups that graduated from the online portion of the school.

The occasion was bitter sweet, but was made better by the fact that I was able to graduate with the most important people in my life; my parents, my children, Sarah, and Echo. We were able to take a few minutes and give a speech, so I thanked the people who came with me, and some of my production crew, and the school for being there for me in the time of need.

I still have more that I wanted to say: This is our time, this is the time that the industry is changing, and it’s our responsibility to usher in the new wave of equality, and bash out the corrupt power that takes advantage of the less powerful. Whatever color, creed, sexual orientation, we are equal, and that’s the way it should be. I’ve been blessed with a great group of people that I’ve been able to work with and meet. The network is just going to get bigger, and I can’t wait to work with the new friends that I’ve made on this journey, and share the ideas with like minds.

The ceremony ended around two o’clock, I said good-bye to the parents and kids. Then I took the ladies to Las Vegas…let me tell you something…going from Hollywood to Vegas really sucks ass. It turned out to be a seven plus hour drive, we got there closer to ten, and I was tired from driving. So, that shot any adventures on Friday, but Saturday was better, and we rushed to get a last bit done on Sunday, and still didn’t get home and done until eleven that night. What should have been a three and a half hour drive was pushed up by about two more hours by delays, and slow traffic. Alas, Sarah and I made it home safe, regardless of the bullshit traffic that happened.

I had to take care of a few medical things today, some of them for work, others for my next check up on my sleeve. I weighed myself today and I lost another 3.5 pounds. That brings my total down by 90.2 pounds, which was even better to know that 339.7. The incredible part is that in about five pounds, I’ll be at the lowest that I’ve been in five years. God, it will feel good to be down one hundred pounds.

I got in about 40k steps this weekend over all and Saturday was the most with 25,357. 1,616 calories were burned, and 11.19 miles were traveled that day. So, I think my total caloric intake was well below that. It was fun, and I just kept trucking along.

My next check up is on the seventh of April. I’ll be almost four months out, and life is still getting easier everyday. I felt like I had lost a few pounds, and I’m thinking that I’ll be at my lowest in five years by that check up. I’m more excited that I’ll be doing great next weekend when we go to Wonder Con. I’m going to have to buy some more clothes soon, and they’ll be smaller. I think one hundred pounds is crazy, I’ve already lost, about the weight of my son. It almost feels unreal, when I contemplate it.

As I’m looking forward to geeking out next weekend, I’m keeping an open eye to figure out how I can become a professional at these conventions, as this is one of the many things I plan on doing. I know that separating the various aspects of my life is going to organize things better, but it also seems that I have to dedicate more time to each of those things to keep them going.

On a final note, the free lance work is great, and now being in charge of my client’s social media is giving me experience that can be applied to other jobs as well. I’ll share more about this undertaking as it develops more. It’s already put me in contact with industry professionals that I’m going to be learning from their experience, and it will help me become a more rounded person.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Phase Two: Evolution

Well tomorrow is the day, it’s the day that I’ve been waiting to reach for the last three years to reach, my graduation. I’m graduating with Magna Cum Laude and then my future starts. It’s the moment that I go from the Film Student Life to the life of an Alumni of the Los Angeles Film School. This journey has brought many things to me. A new focus in life, a better situation mentally, and great connections that I’ll continue to have for the rest of my life.

I remember when I started school that I was lost, my depression was at it’s strongest, and I needed a way out. Finding this school online and taking the chance on going for a dream is what I needed to find myself. This journey has helped evolve me to the person that brings content to people on a regular basis…Sure, it isn’t always the way that a filmmaker would seem too, but even this writing of the blog has helped me with the writing that I put towards all my screen plays and helps me to attach the emotion that I need to the characters that I bring to life.

I was meant to be a filmmaker, once I got to actually concentrate on being behind the camera, and calling action, I knew that this was what I was meant to do. This journey has helped me become the best version of me. I’m happier, and so much less stressed.

I’m not completely sure where the next phase of my journey is going to take me, but I’m liking the changes that it’s bringing to my life, and I know that I’ll find success at what I’m doing, but I just don’t know the exact direction that it’s going.

I think the best part of everything is that those I love the most will be there, my parents, my kids, my wife, and my best friend Echo, who’s been by my side through so much. I’m glad that they can share with me in the celebration of my success.

The next couple of weeks will be crazy, as I’ve got plenty of plans going on, but once this is done, I will be putting a meeting together so that we can plan the next steps to getting some content brought out. Again, that’s when I’m happiest.

After the graduation, I get to go to Vegas and do adult things. I think that it’ll be a good way to send of the “old” me, and say hello to the new version that has become far more goal orientated. The baggage that weighed me down for so long has gone, and now all I have is hope, and positivity. I know things will not be dark for me again. So, if you would like, here’s the link to the live stream of the ceremony for tomorrow at 1:00pm http://www.ustream.tv/channel/los-angeles-film-school. I would love to hear that people watched and routed for me as we close a chapter and flip the page to something new.

I’m still getting in my steps as I got in 13,486 for the day, and the weight loss journey is still going strong. It’s just kind of taking a back seat to my film production for the moment. I’m still learning that the different aspects of my branding move at different times. The CK Project has had to opportunity to shine for the last several months, and I’ve enjoyed sharing the journey that I’ve had so far, but it’s time for other accomplishments to take the front and center.

Once everything really gets going, I’ll be able to bring out more content on all sides of my branding “empire”, as I find that it’s already become a full-time job, but it’s also what I enjoy. It’s funny that by staying busy, I’m feeling like I’m having the time of my life. I’ll report from Vegas, I’ll guarantee that. So with that being said, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Phase Two And A Growth Spurt

A continuation of the last blog…ish: Man what a weekend this turned out to be. As I mentioned visiting the campus of the Los Angeles Film School, I learned a lot from that visit, and I’ve been trying to apply it ever since. So far, my film resume has been updated, though I’m still waiting to hear what my advisor has to say on that, and I updated my LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christopher-keeling-b57a7313a, just in case…you know if you want to check it out, maybe try and make a professional connection.

Saturday is the day that most of you have come to follow because, of my weight loss journey, well I lost another 2.3 pounds which brings my weight too 343.2 with a total loss of 86.7 pounds of fatty tissue. I’m so close to getting to that one hundred pound mark, and I’ll be there before you know it. Which also brings me to another bit of good news. I can fully workout again. My gastric doctor said that I can get into full workout mode, which I’m working with a friend, who’s going to become my trainer. This is someone I’ve known a long time, and I have faith will kick start my metabolism even faster. I look forward to that challenge.

So, let’ move forward to Sunday’s adventure. I’ve been working with this older gentleman named Philip Weinstein, he’s eighty-one, and has had a life as a producer and lighting guy in Hollywood. I was introduced to him by way of my friend and former drama teacher Janis. Philip has spirit, and at the age of eighty-one has decided that he wants to be a boxer. He’s considered the oldest un-ranked amateur boxer in the United States. He’s got personality for sure.

So, through him, I’ve gotten to meet and get to know his coach Antoine Hood, who’s also a nice guy, who looks like Luke Cage, and most defiantly can kick ass like Luke Cage. Antoine and my trainer friend Sam work together, and that’s kind of how the circle of reacquainting with old friends took place, but before I lose track. Philip has hired me not only to be his videographer, but his social media presence.

It’s funny how my love of acting has brought me to the point of wanting to direct, and that it would lead me to my first paying client. Where I find myself even more lucky is the fact that I’m teaching Philip about modern filmmaking, and he in turn is teaching me about living in the business itself. He’s also a stanch supporter of the CK Project and tells me that he’s happy to see me take my life in a more positive direction.

Is it weird that my first paying client would also become a mentor to me? He’s a great guy, and the experience that I’m gaining is valuable, and his shared knowledge is also worth every minute he’s teaching me something. I wonder what will happen when I start my next free lance project, where that will take me…

So, phase two has really started to lift off the ground, and with so much coming towards me all at once, I’ve not even had a chance to think of where everything is taking me, but I do know that it’s somewhere good. I just feel bad that I can’t seem to carry on a very good conversation through text, because I’m so buy. I know that as March will come to an end, that life might find a bit of normalcy, or maybe this is the new normal. Either way, I’m not complaining. It keeps me busy, and then I don’t even have anytime to be depressed, even though that hasn’t been an issue for a while.

My weight, my health, both physically and mentally, and my life is really starting to line up, and I’m proud of the evolution that my growth has taken, and as I get ready to leave the Film student life behind as I become an alumni, I’m gaining the right tools at the right time, and I’m going to continue to work hard so that I can get the big pay off in the end.

My best friend will be down here from the state of Minnesota in a couple of days. I’m excited because she’s one of the few people who’s been there through the tough times for me. I’m glad that she could be here as I walk down the isle because graduating is an accomplishment. Life is going to get better, day by day. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

My Marching Orders For The Day

Today, I went in for my annual physical(by annual, I use that term loosely). The last time I had my physical, my blood pressure was 135 over something and my heart was like 68 beats per minute. I was in a bad way the last time I had the check up, about two years ago. This time was different, I was 112 over something and my heart beat was around 58. It felt kick ass. I’m doing what I can to get healthier, but it’s not for work, it’s for myself, and for my family.

The first three days of my work week, I tend to slack a bit on my 10k steps but I did get on them yesterday, 10841 steps with 4.8 miles and 775 calories. I had done over 10k steps before noon today. As a matter of fact, I’m currently sitting at 14921 steps, 6.59 miles, and 954 calories. To be honest, I don’t think that I’m going to be doing much more today, except maybe steps across the house to the bathroom, because today was a lot of steps anyway, and I’ve done good so far.

I know that the next weekend is my three month check-up with the doctor, but my two week weigh-in commitments are going to continue and I will have an update this weekend. While I won’t blog the update tomorrow, you can get it here at: https://twitter.com/ckproject. My twitter is the most updated spot to follow my weight loss journey. Also my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ChrisKeelingProject/ is a good place to go for my journey as well, and I sometimes drop words bombs of inspiration.

I’m able to accept more types of food finally, lettuce doesn’t seem to hurt when I eat it anymore. It’s hard to believe that I’ve been without most of my stomach for three months, though if you ever look at how I eat anymore, you can tell. I can tell, and I feel so much better, and yes I know that I’ve said that at least a few times, but it’s true. I feel so much better, and I continue to improve by the day or week, and this month is going to be so fucking crazy that it isn’t even something I can completely comprehend at the moment.

So, I’m preparing to go to my campus at the end of next week to get my tickets, cap, and gown. Plus I get to see my career advisor, and we are going to discuss what I’m going to do with my degree. I’m not going to lie, but working a movie in Hollywood is kind of starting to appeal to me at the moment. Sure I still want to do my own movies, but getting paid, and experience is always great as well.

Then the next day I go see the doctor, and I’m eager to get cleared to do regular workout, because my friend from a local MMA gym is going to help me get in “fighting shape”, and I can’t wait, it’ll help for when we do stunts on film, and will help me out with other aspects of my professional life.

Speaking of my professional life, I finally got my first freelance gig, and I’m excited to be working on this new experience. My client and I have been exchanging some ideas on how we are going to present our project. This has also helped me to get back to the creative flow of things and I’ve knocked out seventeen pages on the original script I was going to use as a student film. Once we did Nash Gray, I decided that I wanted to restart the whole script, because, well, I have become a better writer(largely due to the blogging). I’ve taken it in a direction that I hadn’t quite done before, and I’m beyond what I had originally had completed. I’m still working on that, as with going between the various other scripts I got going. Maybe, I’m trying to do too much at once, but I guess that I won’t know until I try.

Now that I’ve been out of school for a few months, and I’ve adjusted to my new body better, I’m finally finding my place in getting my shit together and pursuing my career as a filmmaker. Still, it’s all still kind of a new experience to me, and I pray that I don’t fuck it up. Though, I’m sure I will somewhere, and it’ll add a valuable experience to what I’m doing.

While this is the end and I’m about to wrap it up, I want to take a few moments and give thanks to all my new followers on WordPress, Instagram, Facebook, Google+, and Tumblr. I’ve truly enjoyed sharing my experiences with everyone, and hope that motivation has been found in the words that I’ve typed. Please keep it up, and don’t be afraid to comment. Dialogue is a great way to learn more about each other, and keep the discussion going.  With that said, this is the director and that’s a wrap.

February’s Almost Over!?!

What a month this has been… Now I’m preparing for a busy March, as I have graduation, a Vegas trip, and Wonder Con, all within a few week period. This is right after I have my three month check up for my weight loss journey.

This was the four days with the weekend, which started Thursday after work. I averaged over 10k steps all for days. It’s nice to see that also on average I was burning around 700 plus calories. So far for the first days of the work week, I haven’t even come close, but as I get more time during the weekend, I’ll push those numbers up a bit.

Let’s get into how my up coming weeks are looking as well. This week, I should be doing a bit of freelance work, I’m looking forward to getting the experience from that, as I really like my client because he has a personality on him.

Next week though is where everything gets interesting, as in I’m going to Los Angeles to finally walk on the campus of the school I’d been going too for the last three years. I have to pick up my cap and gown, plus get the tickets for the ceremony for the week after that. Then we’ll do lunch with my parents and kids, before heading out to Las Vegas for an adult weekend. With a return to work on Monday morning, just so we can leave on Thursday with the kids for Wonder Con, and a weekend of geeking out, plus I’m still getting my Geekultural Experience going.

This year really has started out great, and it just keeps getting better, even if we’ve had a few hiccups here and there. I think the further I go into this week, the better things are going to get. I’ve gotten heads up on something that’s exciting, but that’ll have to wait for another blog…

I also put in for my annual physical, which if truth be told, I totally avoided last year as it was. On the plus side, my results will be way better than the last one I had. I’m not going to complain. I think it’ll be done quickly, but it’s also going to fill up my already busy schedule. At least I can do it on a day off. One of the things I’ve always hated was fasting for a blood test, though it’s not going to be a problem this time. Since I did lose two-thirds of my stomach.

The other thing  I realize more everyday, is that I really need to have better time management skills. It seems like my walking and exercising has taken up most of my concentration, and I’ve got about a thousand other things that I’m trying to get done at the same time. I think I’m going to dedicate Wednesday’s the day that I spend on my writing. That would give me something to get those scripts worked on going. So much to get done, and it never seems like enough time to get it completed.

Saturday, I’ll have an update on my weight loss journey, and with that, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Size 54, No More, Paging Number 46

The crazy part about this morning is that I wanted to try on some jean pants, and we found some of my old shorts that were a size forty-six. Now before I continue this, let me tell you that I’ve been wearing basketball shorts for the last seven years, and had worn jeans few times up until 2014…I think. Anyway, I tried these shorts on and they were kind of loose. I don’t know if it’s because they were old, but I couldn’t fit into a size like that comfortably last year.

A win is a win, and I will take it. Sarah says that she can tell that I’m starting to feel “sexy”, and I must say that I do feel damn good about myself. It’s amazing what a bit of weight loss does for the confidence level. I haven’t weighed myself this week, because if you remember, I did say that I was going to only do the weigh in every other week. I can’t wait until I’m on the other side of 300. It’ll be nice to be my early adult weight again.

It feels strange that I’m starting to swim in my clothes, and I’m not going to go crazy and buy a completely new wardrobe quite yet, but I have been thinking of a getting a new outfit, something probably different than just a superhero shirt and shorts. I feel like I want to start dressing a little bit better on occasion, especially since Sarah tends to dress nice on date nights, and I’m looking like I always do. I appreciate that she says I look handsome all the time, but I feel that I could present myself a bit better for her.

Besides that, I should say that I’ve been busy getting the professional side of my life straightened out. I’m going to my school in two Fridays to pick up my stuff for when I walk down for my graduation, I’ll probably take the time to see my career advisor while I’m there. I finally got a rough draft of my newest resume for said film career done, and turned it in tonight. I hope that it’s something that we can work with to make better. Besides that, I also have another job lead that I’ve been looking to go towards for the better part of six years, I hope that I can hit up the application when it comes out so that I can fill it out, and hopefully get the job, that I went to school for.

I’ve taken the undertaking of trying to learn Spanish, so that I can become bi-lingual. It’ll help in communicating in general, especially since I do customer service type work, and it doesn’t hurt that I’ve got a goal to write a script in both English and Spanish as it’s about a Latina and her boyfriend(who isn’t Latino), and the plight that they go through being a bi-racial couple. I was an idea that I thought up a while back, and I thought it would be a nice challenge…. That’s something I like as a writer, is challenging myself. I really gets my creativity going, and as I get things going, I’ve got so much that I’ve already started, now it’s finding the time to concentrate on on script at a time, but I don’t want to loose the ideas, once I get them. I used to have these great ideas when I was younger, but I never wrote them down, and I would forget them over time.

I think that’s part of the reason I decided to keep learning, so that I could gain tools to help me out and be a better individual, between the Spanish, and learning things about getting that dream job, and then the videos to help me learn the software programs that I’m using or going to be using as I make movies, I’m staying busy, and I haven’t really played video games much lately. I have been watching more movies though.

On top of all of those things, blogging is helping me become a better writer, and I used to think that 500 words was kind of a challenge to come up with.  It’s funny because I’ve seen where the growth of my words have gone since I started this WordPress page for a class a couple of years ago. I was averaging about 400 words, then last year I was about 460. Now I average around 650 or something like that. Plus, my audience’s growing and my like are far higher now than they have been for the blogs I’ve had over the last two years. The only thing that’s down is the comments, I haven’t had somebody comment on the page itself. I think that I’m finally finding that niche as a blogger, and with all the projects that I’ve got going, I’m sure that I won’t be running out of any content to produce any time soon. Especially once we can get working on the studio, things kind of went south on movement there, but with a year of uncertainty, I don’t find that a bad thing at this time.

Self improvement is a key to success and I would like to see people succeed, keep on the journey of self discovery, you might surprise yourself. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Welcome To Club 100

So for the start of today’s blog, I’m going to educate the populace on what I had done and some of the facts about the procedure. According to the brochure at the doctor’s office, produced by Covidien the technical name for the gastric sleeve that I’ve been talking about over the last two months is the vertical sleeve gastrectomy, or partial gastrectomy. The procedure takes the cutting out of two-thirds of the stomach to make the stomach into a part of tube, or to make it look like a “sleeve”. This procedure also removes the part that produces a hormone called Ghrelin, which is the chemical that controls the cravings for being hungry.

At my highest weight, I was weighing in at 429.9 lbs. and at a hight of five-foot-ten, that put me at a body mass index of 61.7. The requirement is to have a BMI of 35, and I was well above that. I was on the cusp of having bad cholesterol, high blood pressure, and quite frankly, I was a prisoner in my own body(I’m sure I’ve said this a couple of times). heaviest

This was what I looked like at my heaviest. The worst part of all of this weight was when I would try to actually exercise, I would hurt. I had bruised my foot on a walk, my knees hurt, and it was just the most difficult thing when I moved. I truly felt that I was trapped in my own body and there wasn’t anything that I felt I could do to help me loose the weight. I was scared that I was going to put myself into an early grave.

I was doing well before I had my breakdown at work in 2013. I was on Weight Watchers and I had lost fifty-six pounds. 2 years after weight watchers

I was feeling good at the time, I felt free and with more energy, but then depression took over, and I gained it all back and then some. It was a rough time in my life, and my mind wasn’t right. I felt like I was the most worthless thing and I wanted to die. That actually followed me even when I was able to go back to work.

When I decided to go back to school in 2014, I was trying to change my life around. I didn’t realize for about the first year of school in what I was doing, and it took until about another half-year before I realized that what I needed in life was a better outlook on what life could and would end up being for me.

The first thing I did do, again without realizing the potential of what would come, was I decided that I would be a beacon of positivity. When I left work, there was negative people everywhere and it really helped to bring me down. The decision of being positive wasn’t for anybody else, except myself. I didn’t want to continue to feel worthless, and the new outlook helped me be a better person, not only with myself, but for other’s as well. That is something I continue to, and will continue to do for the rest of my life.

Finding that creative outlet was the best thing for me, I’ve been able to put forward the thoughts and revelations into something tangible, and that’s where things like this blog come in at. It seems like I’m in a constant state of thought, even when it’s at the worst times, like when I’m trying to sleep. Sometimes, it’s that state of restlessness  that helps some of my better ideas come out.

So, bringing this to a more present time period, when I got introduced to the idea of setting up a WordPress website, I decided that I would use the platform to blog. I figured that it would be a good way to share my experience, and hope that the words would find someone who might need to know that there’s other’s who have gone through the same kinds of issues they have, and that there is someone they could reach out too. I also fond it therapeutic for when I go through some of my emotional times. Though I suffer from depression, I don’t look at it as a weakness, but as a strength because I’ve survived the darkest of times. I’ve survived several times throughout my adult life. Now I’m here to help other’s who don’t know if they will make it, or if they just need some support and to be aware that things will get better.

With in the last year, the awareness that I’ve come across was that things were going to get better for me as I worked hard to finish school. I knew that I was setting myself and my family up for better things in life. I’ve been determined to make the best of life. As the months got closer to the end of my schooling, I was more determined to get done, and put what I earned to good use. I’ve been networking and planting the seeds for this better future.

Feb 3 stats

This is from my Pacer app. I went to my two month post operation check up and I weighed in at 360 lbs. It’s been a while there, and since it was out of town, I was determined to explore the city and get my 10,000 steps in today. I’ve got farther than I thought I would, and I’m glad that I have something to help record my progress. I think the most effective part is the fact that I’m obsessed with numbers, and this is a great way to keep track of the movements from my walks.

As I was walking with my wife downtown Lancaster, a thought came too me that I had never considered before- I invested in myself. Wow! I never considered something like that. Sure I’m going to have student loans, and the high cost of my weight loss surgery, but I had invested in myself. Physically, and mentally, I spent the money to help me find myself, and I’ve brought so many people with me for the ride. It took the surgery to help me not feel trapped anymore, and I want to keep pushing to get better. Then the school has helped me find the person that I was meant to be.

I think that’s the secret for people to be successful, and happy…invest in yourself, because the only person who’s going to take care of you in this life is you. You can only grow if you push yourself. That’s a thought to contemplate.

This is the director, Chris Keeling, I’m about seventy pounds lighter, and that’s a wrap.

Science? To What Degree?

25588135_10209494932724657_3328647117328513282_o

I got this beauty in the mail today. It’s my Bachelor of Science in Digital Filmmaking. I’ve busted my ass for the last three years to obtain this degree, and it the pay off is in the Magna Cum Laude. I’ve never wanted something so bad in my life. I was happy to be able to finally accomplish something at this level. Plus, it’s a major step in the direction to having a better life for me, and my family.

I guess I should give an explanation on why this is a milestone for me, with the fact that I usually would let myself get to a point of insecurity, and quit anything worth while because something got to hard. I would do everything I could just to get by in life. I had various passions in my life, but I would squander them and waste the talent that I had. Now things are different.

I had to have that kick in the ass to get myself going, and while some people think that going after my passions and gaining the skills of a filmmaker might be considered a “waste of time”, I beg to differ because, film can go towards so many other things besides doing movies. Yes, I do movies, and I plan to keep on doing visual story telling, while doing other work with my degree in the real world. I have a plan.

The degree is step one, step two is getting myself healthy and since I’ve had the gastric sleeve, I’m feeling much better about myself. These will continue to help me build the brands that I’ve been working on for the last few years and I plan on doing far more things in life. Currently the third step is getting myself that other employment to help support my family and help make the movies that we will be making.

I’m sure after the third step I will have other plans starting to come to the forefront and those plans will be revealed as I continue on this course that I’ve taken for the rest of my life. I’m motivated to live my life and not be stuck playing video games all the time, and let time be wasted away. I love how life is finally turning around, and making me a better person. I will be sharing more as I go along. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Boom! And It’s Done.

I did it! A whole three years and now I’m done with school. Thank you to Los Angeles Film School for giving me the opportunity for getting my Bachelors of Science in Digital Filmmaking. This is one of the biggest accomplishments that I’ve ever achieved. The future is ahead and I’m ready to take it with “Maximum Effort”.

For the last several months, I was in a mode of panic. I was always busy trying to get things done for a deadline, and the few moments that I actually got a break, I was relieved, but it was temporary. Now, I’m fooling myself into thinking that I’m gonna be free, but it’s a lie as I’ve already been working on getting things done for Luckey Bom Films. That’s not to be outdone by the fact that The Ck Project is going to be taking off. Plus, Geeks of the IWV: Presents Geeks on Geeks is about ready to have content coming out. God Damn, I am going to be busy.

With that being said, I’m at a point where life is moving at a quick pace, as I’m going to be going through weight loss surgery, and getting the Gastric Sleeve, which is something that I’ll be documenting. That, plus the fact that I’ve been working with someone to do another documentary, that’s going to be inspirational.

March sixteenth is the day that I walk down the isle, and I’m going to be at least one hundred pounds lighter, and that’s exciting. I mentioned that life is moving at a fast pace, and I’ve never been more excited. Now that I have a degree, it’s time for me to get a better paying job and live out my dreams.

I want to thank everyone who’s been supporting me, whether it’s been on the blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Your love and support has been greatly appreciated, especially in times when I felt like giving up. So, for the final time as a student, this is the director and that’s a wrap.