Keeping The Faith Two Pounds At A Time

I went to my seventh month check up yesterday. As of what I’ve been weighing myself, it was a two-point-one pound gain. The doctor’s records show that I lost five pounds since my last visit. Two pounds isn’t very much, and that could have gone in either direction. It could have been the poop I didn’t get in before, or just the water that I’ve been consuming. Even better, it could be the fact that I weighed in on a different scale than I have been using for my two week weigh ins. Plus it had only been a week since I last checked myself. I figure that it doesn’t really count, but for the sake of transparency, I’m putting it out there for everybody.

I had a five-day weekend and I’m not gonna lie, work is killing my mood. I really don’t want to battle the 110 degree heat tomorrow. With that I challenged myself to a six-day ten thousand step challenge. I did well, until I woke up and realized that the vibrations from the fan on my desk made it look like I walked over 57,000 steps in an eight hour period. That just threw everything off for me, but to be honest, the heat was whooping my ass anyway, and I’ll take the sixth day as failed, but I still got in over 50,000 steps in the last five-days, hell more like 60,0000.

I have two weeks until my schedule at work shifts from a 5am-3pm time slot to a 1pm-11pm time slot. I have mixed feelings about this. The negative side is that I’ll spend less time with the kids, and that kills me with helping them out during they’re grappling sessions. It’s a bit weird because I’ve been on the day schedule for the last ten years. That makes me a little nervous, yet being someone who always tries to look for a silver lining, the biggest positive comes to mind… I don’t have to get up at four in the morning anymore. I know it might seem a bit strange that I would feel that way, but God I hate getting up at anytime before six. Hell, I could even handle getting up about five-five-thirty, but there’s just something about four o’clock that I just don’t like doing. I mean, I usually can’t convince myself to get into bed before ten at night anyway, so that might have something to do with it.

Other big news, is I finally heard back from one of the jobs that I’ve been trying to get. They said that they were gonna see about getting me an interview, and that was still up to the higher boss on that. This is what I’ve been wanting for so long, yet there’s that part of me that is afraid that I’m not good enough. Yeah, I do realize that it sounds a bit silly, but that’s the mind of someone who’s had low self-esteem issues for the better part of my life. I also know that I’m not the only one who’s had those types of thoughts. I really hope that things go the way, I’d like them too.

Also, we’re just about ready to film The Reunion. We had a final production meeting on it, and we’re currently going to be getting a reading in, having to work around everyone’s schedule. So, with all the parties notified, we should be filming on August fourth. I’m excited to get this going, as it brings the crew back together for another fun time. This month is turning into craziness though, as Friday the thirteenth, I’m taking the wife out of town for our seventeen year anniversary. Then, next weekend we take the oldest up north about five hours for a Paramour concert. This is going to be an exciting adventure.

I’m glad to be able to be busy doing all these things, and right before my schedule change too. I  think that things are going to be more interesting from here on out, and I plan on working on getting several things done within the next several months, so that I can help boost my demo reel with professional work as well.

Be good to each other, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

A Week Until Four Months

I have about a week until my four month check up. Damn what a ride this year has been already, as a matter of fact, my size forty-six waist size us getting too big for me. With that comes the fact that I’ve been so busy, and I’ll admit that I kind of slacked off this week. After the craziness of con weekend, I think I deserved a bit of rest. As I sit here, I’m thinking about a conversation I had with my friend Curtis, and the fact that I thought after school I would have a bit of time off for relaxation….

Relaxation, what a load of shit that turned out to be. Not that life going full force isn’t fun, I just thought that I’d have a bit of time to chill during the weekends. Looking at this weekend, it was nice to have a moment to enjoy and sleep in my own bed without doing much, and that was the point, but looking at the rest of the month I have one out of four weekends free, and then I’ve committed to spend time with some of the most awesome people and watch a movie. I’m looking forward to that, as some time to relax with good people.

Keeping busy at least keeps me active. Friday we head one direction for some business, and then on Saturday we have to head in the opposite direction for my four month check up. Plus I’m adding to my weekly routine with my personal trainer this week(hopefully). I have some freelance business to do. I have a conference call tomorrow, I’m excited to see how that is going to turn out.

I’m also busy with some overtime this month at the regular job, and realizing that I have to work the weekend of  Avengers: Infinity War isn’t exactly the thing I wanted on my plate. Especially since I’ve been eager for this movie for two years, but the next weekend will get my money for sure.

Let’s get back to the weight loss journey at hand, while I haven’t weighed myself this week, because of my appointment on Saturday, I feel like I’m down a few more pounds. I saw a friend this weekend, and she told me that I looked so different since the last time she saw me. Again, that’s always a great confidence boost.

It’s funny that the closer I get to being at the -100 pound mark, the more determined I feel about loosing the weight. I figured that over all I have to lose between 220-240 to be at the ultimate goal. As an adult, if I would have been asked, I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of it being a reality, but no shit, this is happening. I’m cranking up the motivation again this week as I’m going to be hitting those 10k steps several times over this week.

Again, this all depends on what all happens to me this week, as with having to get in a couple of hours in for late night overtime at some point, this week? Plus the freelance meetings that I have, then the traveling out of town for a couple of days. There really isn’t enough hours in the day anymore. Yet I will prevail!

One of the things I’ve been doing since graduation is that I’ve been job searching, and I’ve added blogger, and health and wellness to the experience. I love how life is giving me the experience that I need to be better in the professional world.

So, my advice for anyone who seems to be unmotivated or unsure of what they want to do, or where they want to be; all I can say is that it get easier. I remember that after I had my surgery, 10,000 steps seemed so hard to reach. As a matter of fact, I could barely get to 5,000. You’ve seen the stats, you’ve read about the journey. It gets easier, and once you figure that out. You’ll notice when you start to slack. Remember that the biggest trick to weight loss is the fact that it’s a mental game. Keep it there, because once you do. The physical part becomes so much easier. Remember the old cliche: Mind over matter. No shit! It’s true, and that’s the reason I’ve been so successful in this journey. The positivity, the motivation, all of it was my choice.

Reach inside yourself and find that which is going to motivate you. It took me to feel like I was almost dying to take control of my life, and there isn’t anything I regret by doing the surgery. At the same time, I’m not going to lie, it takes work. Sure the weight starts to melt off and you get this false sense of confidence that it’ll be a cake walk. I think that’s why there are those who still fail, even after the surgery, but get that mind right, and tell yourself that you are in control, and make procrastination your bitch. In the end, you’ll thank yourself for the determination.

For too long, I let my depression, keep hold of me. Taking the time to change the way I think was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Now I rarely have a bad day. Even those days, aren’t so bad. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.