Not This Night

I’m sitting here and it’s about a half hour until Christmas is over. I have my two week check up at night-fortyfive in the morning and I can’t seem to get my mind to shut off. I would love to say that it was because I had such an awesome day that the adrenaline is still kicking, but it’s not. Now, I’m not saying that today was a bad day, being Christmas and all, we did the routine in going to my parent’s house, and watching the kids enjoy their presents. It just felt average.

Nash Gray premiered this morning, and I think the viewing seemed to go alright for a first day out. I wish the views were tripled, but I’m not going to complain, and I hope more people end up finding it and liking it. With what reviews that I did get, people seemed to like it, and for that I’m glad. I’m happy to have been able to finally get my first real production out, and now I’m already of thinking of the documentaries that I’m working on and the short that I should be filming in February. It’s the short that I think might be on my mind currently. I’m thinking about story boards, and maybe fixing up some dialogue so that the story has a bit of a more complete feel to it. I remember writing it and having a bit of things implied because it was supposed to be a short of around seven minutes.  I’m eager to get this one reshot and out of the way, as I have some people that I’m already committing too to tell their story. People are interesting to say the least.

Going back to the weight loss journey though, I’m not nervous or anything about the appointment, but to say that I feel monumentally different would be an overstatement. I notice that fat that seemed to block my movements is gone, and that I move better, and the scale says that I’ve lost weight, but I don’t really feel different. More conscious about how  I eat for sure, and eating too fast tells on me. I just don’t feel so different, and I’m sure it’s just a phase.

I’ve been reading people on a Facebook Sleeve support page and I see so many different experiences about the surgery. I think the common one I’m seeing is the last minute jitters, after all I had those same feelings. It’s the end journey that is going to be good, once the fat is gone and life has changed, I think I’ll look back and say that it was worth it. I don’t want to think that I feel depressed because my habits have been forced to change so much.

I think that the unknown is what’s been getting me down, and it’s not about the weight loss journey anymore, but more about when I get that better job, and the bills that I’m going to be paying on for a very long time. I just need to tell myself that good things come to those who wait, and I’ve been working towards those good things for a long time now. I’m just glad that my depression isn’t like it was before, I do know that I’ll make it out of this just fine. There’s just a lot of reflection going on with me.

Maybe that’s another reason I’m starting to focus more on the next project….that seems to give me a bit of satisfaction knowing that I’m going to be creating something. So much to do, and now that I have a bit more free time, I need to get on some other projects started besides the movies. I think I’m going to test out some of my new equipment for pod casting this week and maybe bring in the new year with a new pod cast show, though I’m thinking of doing a few different ones as it is.

I’m finally getting somewhere in life that I want to be, and I hope that everyone who wants to, joins in watching the growth and creativity come out. This is the director and that’s a wrap. P.S. if you haven’t seen it yet, here is the link to Nash Gray If you like it, give it a like and subscribe to the channel, it’s still new, but more content will be added as soon as things get up and running more so than it is now.

The Flow is in The Work

So this day turned out to be such a great day.  To start out the day, I took it off so that I could handle a bit of family business, which went fairly smooth.  I was glad because it was too hot for working out doors(which is a daily routine for me).  Since I did free up my day, I decided to reach out to my partner Ed, and see if he wanted to do some work together in the studio.  It was a good thing he happened to be in that day.

Today was the first official day of us working together on one of our projects, and it went really well. I showed Ed and Sarah(my wife) how to break down a script into a shot list, and so we broke down a few scenes for our reshoots on Appreciate What You Got, and that was fun to explain how the whole process works when dealing with the pre-production process.  I’m feeling inspired to keep going and we went on to discuss a bit more on the Nash Gray project.  I’ll work on that after I get the notes resent to me.

We also discussed some on the CK Project, and we decided that we’re going to start it out as a podcast, as well as recording it on video at the same time.  This is what this blog here has been about the CK Project, also the reason for the Chris Keeling Productions address on this blog.  It really is all-in-one with what I’m doing.  This weekend is when we will be hashing out a few details before we start our first broadcast, and hope to bring it out weekly. There is so much more to the content that this project is going to have, that I hope that I can find time for ever thing that I plan on doing between the three big projects.

I don’t know how much I can shameless plug the things I’m involved with but, Luckey Bom Films, is where the movies and entertainment aspect of my creative side comes in at. is the link to my channel there.  Things will be popping up soon on this channel.  We are going to be wrapping up the reshoot soon, so that will be the second video on the channel., this channel is my personal one, that I’m turning into the CK Project, this is my personal journey, and it it helps somebody with their struggles, then I’m doing what I set out to do in the first place.  It compliments well with this very blog page.

Now, the third big thing that I’m involved with is something that is local to my area, here in California,  and it’s called the Geeks of the IWV.  It was created from a tragic event, where my friends’s lost their son in an accident.  He was a great kid, who was a giant geek in his own right, and he left a void in so many lives.  I agreed as a way of helping them cope with that big hole left in their lives.  Never in my life did I think that this was going to change the way I do things.  I find a different kind of purpose in this group, and it feels good to share a passion in the geek culture.  We are doing things in the community, like a fund raiser called Relay for Life.  I never thought I would ever do anything like this, and yet it feels rewarding that I can help out and that our little group could make the difference.

I promise you that great things will be coming in the near future and I hope you take that chance to subscribe and support these various avenues that I’m taking.  There is so much to life for and I can’t wait for more adventures to start.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Self Doubt and Contemplating

I felt in a funk today.  I’ve been there for a couple of days, and I wasn’t sure why.  I think it started with the fact that I as thinking about doing some major rewrites to Life Happens, I feel that I need to add some real substance to the lead character as he deals with the tragedy that has befallen his family.  Then I started my new class last night and I bombed my first quiz.  My biggest problem about last night was that I was tired and too much into my own head to let anything really sink in.  I know that I shouldn’t let this bother me the way it has, so I need to shake myself out of this funk, and I’m going to do that.  Unfortunately going through this mindset also sets up the ever dooming question,”am I good enough?”  I know that I shouldn’t feel that way, but sometimes it’s hard to think of the silver lining.

I do feel a bit better, thank you for thinking it, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to let these negative thoughts get in the way of partaking in a celebration of my wife’s birthday.  She has tolerated me far longer than I think I would’ve ever tolerated myself.  I’ve known her for nineteen years, and that’s over half of our lives, and most of that has been together.  She’s been my strength when I’ve been down, and she’s seen me at my lowest too.

Now back to the first subject at hand, I hate being stuck in my own mind because I realized that thoughts like that tend to sabotage my own success.  That’s where being my own worse critic comes in at as well.  When you get told that you’re not good enough, it tends to stick with you throughout your life.  That’s not saying that I feel that way anymore, but that self doubt crawls in every once in awhile.  I’m glad that I have the people in my life that I do because they’ve been the biggest support in my life.  I’ve got an amazing set of friends, and my chosen family are the glue to my backbone.

I don’t plan on letting any minor set back phase me, because life has been going so well for me.  I’ve got the production studio being prepared to start producing content, and I’m looking forward to getting the creative process flowing again.  I’ve got so many ideas that I can’t wait to share with everyone, and I’ve gotten a few characters in development that I think will get some laughs once the sketches start being written.  I just hope that with Luckey Bom Films  and the CK Project are successful, and I hope that I don’t overwhelm myself by doing a billion things at once.  I can’t forget to mention the things I’ve been developing for the Geeks of the IWV.  This group has been going fairly decent for a local group that is almost a year old, and I’m glad that I can be part of this group with wonderful and passionate geeks like myself.  It really has brought my relationship with people to a better place.

So, I have a pod cast in the works, actually about three of them, and so I’m wondering what people think about the content I’d like to get out.  We have a geek pod cast, would anyone like to hear reviews on the latest Comics, movies, and maybe video games? How about video’s demonstrating some of the boardgames that we play?  For my other pod casts, what type of content would you like to see?  Relationships? Local News?  Up coming plans on where the projects and companies are going?

Final words-  Let me know what you think?  I’m trying to get more marketable and I’d love any input that you might have?  Take care and good night.

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