Fix That Motivation With Time

I have been off of the nightshift for two weeks now, and I can’t say how much happier I am. It felt like the last six-months has been nothing but a dream. I am aware that I did some things, but I felt like I was in a fog for most of the time. My days were filled with zombified waling around.

I think part of the problem was that the night shift made me feel a bit lonely. I was reduced to being in bed with my wife for only two nights a week. There wasn’t many people coming through where I was stationed at night, and the night’s that I got the easiest post, I would begin to feel even more secluded. At least I could generally get in my steps with no problems.

Now that I have hours that the normal, sane, living person has, I am getting more of my creative flow back. I’ve been writing more than I had been in the last six months, and my mind is on fire with creativity and ideas to get things back on track. So, I’m back to providing content, and life is feeling good again.

There were things that I was thankful for about night shift though. The weather was over all cooler, and being back in one-hundred-degrees-plus during the day time reminded me of that. Oh and the fact that the earthquakes happened at that time. I don’t think I would have wanted to deal with the amount of people trying to get access to places they couldn’t because of the damage.

Getting back on track of things though, I’m thankful that there are people who do like the night shift. They are a special breed of people that thrive there, and I’m just not one of them. I mean I did well enough, but I just found that it wasn’t my cup of tea.

I’m finding that getting into the full swing of being on a normal shift seems to be taking me a bit longer than I expected to adjust, however I do know how resilient I can be. The 10,000 steps I take, seem to be a bit of a struggle to get too in the heat, but I know that it will be worth it in the end.

The shift in my mindset has been noticeable, as I’m working almost constantly to get more content out. If I’m not actually doing it, I seem to be thinking about it. My sleep patterns have gotten so much better. There really is something to be next to the person that I’ve spent almost half of my life with. I sleep better, and she sleeps better. Even my dog sleeps better.

With that being said, while I’ve had some set backs on getting the big content I wanted out. I have made the steps necessary to get that moving. We did some test shots last night as a part of getting ready to film our short. Re-writes are underway as I continue to work on getting the script ready to shoot. I’m just glad that I’m getting that motivation back to get things done.

I’m not sure if the night shift was conducive with my mental health, but I did learn so much about myself while being on there, and my appreciation for the people I deal with has grown. I’ve gotten so many reactions about not being seen for six months or more, and it makes me feel good to know that I was missed.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t make much of a difference in people’s lives, but then the reactions tell me otherwise. It reminds me of when I was in a darker mindset that if I wasn’t around, then nobody would miss me. I don’t actually think that way anymore because of all the praises and comments I get on a daily basis. Getting called an inspiration does feel good, and being able to reach out a helping hand has built in a new confidence in me.

The biggest thing that I can say about walking away from night shift is that I realized that I learned a part of my job that wasn’t likely to get too during the day shift and if that skill even needed to be applied during the busy hours, I could accomplish that aspect of the job.

Things have been set in motion and I can only look forward from here on out, I don’t ever think I will volunteer to go back on night shift, however if something was to force me onto it, I think I would survive it just fine.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

The Work Flow Struggle

So, I’ve been working the night shift for the last four weeks, and I’ve got about five-and-a-half months to go before I’ll be able to change to back to another shift. I’m not complaining about the work, because night shift is easy, and it allows me to get in my ten-thousand steps relatively uninterrupted. There are other pluses about the shift, like not having to deal with the every day politics that goes on during the normal working hours, and I’m not killing my skin by being out in the sun all day, yet being a family man has put a damper on some of the ways I spend my “quality time” with them.

That’s one of the tricks there, having to switch between the days, and nights during my days off, so that I can see, and be with my family, so they know that I haven’t forgotten them while I “burn the midnight oil” while I’m at work. So, my sleep schedule is shit, but I’m not going to let a little thing like sleep, keep me down. I find that the first half of the week starts  out stronger than the second half. Once I hit my Wednesday-Thursday part of the week, I’m ready to be done, and I find it harder to keep awake.

Outside of that, I find that my creativity is down and that I’m only really able to get things done on the Sunday that I stay up to get ready for my work week. This has made me consider and possibly long for the days of being on day shift. I did it for ten-years, and I find that being creative comes better for me at night, then it does during the day.

This presents a problem as I’ve got a couple of projects that are going to be moving into the pre-production stage relatively soon, and I have several things to do before we actually start filming. I can’t wait until the days of my brands making the living that I’ve been looking forward too.

The reasons that I decided to go to the night shift was to be able to have the knowledge that I’ve done every set of shifts on the weekday side, and it gives me the chance to learn aspects of the job, that wasn’t necessarily a part of the day shift. That and the fact that I could focus on getting my steps in during the shift. While day’s are busy, it doesn’t give me much time to get the steps in.

So far, I find that I prefer the mid-shift because it was a good way for me to get a good amount of sleep. My sleep schedule wasn’t shit, which was a first in the ten-plus years being at my job. I liked that it started out being busy and would start to slow down about half-way through so that I could get my steps in. I know that it sounds a bit selfish, but with the journey that I’ve taken in my life, I feel that the motivation isn’t misplaced. The only down side of doing the mid-shift was that I spent even less time with the family, but it made the weekend’s even more special.

Anyway, I’ve got about twenty-one more weeks until we get another shift change, and “my momma didn’t raise no quitter”. It gives me the chance to continue to work on my personal goals, with my steps, and weight loss. I just hate the fact that my work week consists of me in the internal zombie mode until about the time I actually go to work.  The cold at night has been sucking lately, and I’ve had to get thermals to help keep me warm. Yet, I will endure.

I’m sure that given enough time, I will figure everything out and get the creativity flowing before I actually have to go to work, and that means, I might have to start from the time I get up, until my shower to actually work on things. That’s not such a bad idea, now that I think about it.

Speaking of projects, The Reunion should be out in a couple more weeks, as I’ve gotten the title credits done, and sound editing done. Now I just need the music, and do the end credit sequence and I’ll have it out. I feel happy that I can now do basic animation on Adobe After Effects.  That was something that kept me from getting anything done with the short, and while I changed the way I was doing things, I think that it came out decent, and I totally think that practical effects is going to be the way I prefer to go, until I get that big budget movie money to hire a real CGI expert. Movie making is a team effort.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.