Keep It Going

So, this week I have my six month appointment. Six months ago, I changed my life, and I have no regrets on the journey this has taken me on. I think that my ego is slowly being replaced by actual confidence, and I’m constantly being humbled by the fact that people are noticing and complementing me on the progress that I’ve made. This week, I have to complete the 10k goal everyday this week.

I think that the heat has caused that task to play tricks on me, and not motivated me to get those steps every night. However, I really want to go into my weigh in with a high note. It’s funny that six months ago, I wouldn’t have ever imagined where my life would be at the moment. Now, I’ve gotten my family involved with the action as they have been trying something new to find a better way to balance themselves physically, and hopefully mentally.

I’ve had to finally figure out what it was that we were going to do for projects this weekend. It was strange to be on the phone for hours, and that it would cause my biceps to cramp. I do feel that things are finally taking off in the right direction. As a matter of fact, I’m doing a bit of location scouting on Thursday. I’m hoping that it works out, and can’t wait to get the ball rolling.

The fact that I’m keeping things going forward, shows how I’ve grown as a person. I remember not having the drive to do anything, and I’m not like that anymore. I did take yesterday off from everything. I keep getting reminded to not push myself too hard, and it was nice to actually have a weekend, where I wasn’t distracted by things that would take away from my goals.

I think the biggest struggle that I’ve been feeling is the aura of doubt, I know that I’m my worst enemy when it comes to success or the potential success. Sometimes, I feel that amongst the people that surround me, but it’s always good to get it straightened out so that we can progress in a positive manor.

I’m feeling a bit more accomplished from the weekend. I’m hoping that things keep going up, and I have a personal training session. So, this is the director and that’s a wrap.

Let’s Get It Started?

Okay, this has officially been a long week. It’s the beginning of April and we’re already hitting eighty degree weather. I call bullshit on that, as it just reminds me that we’re in for a horribly hot summer. This is why I hate that I have to be outside for ten hour shifts at work. That’s my biggest complain about the week though.

So, now we get to business, as my locations for where I work tend to change around, except the fact that my physical has kept me in one or two places for the last month or so. I’ve been making at least 7,000 steps a day while at work. The stairs are kind of a bitch, but at least it’s keeping me going, and I feel accomplished, even if I haven’t hit that many 10k steps this week, but I’ve  only been about 1,000 off most days.

The biggest thing about this week has been that I’m realizing that I’m going to have to give in and get new uniforms soon. The truth is, my current uniforms are starting to get too big for me. I guess that happens when I’ve lost close to a hundred pounds.

I went out of town today for some business, and when that got handled we decided to stop by a mall that has a Destination XL. The beautiful part is that I decided to try on a pair of shorts that has a forty-four waist. I haven’t worn that size in over a decade. It was still a bit tight, and I think that I’m going to hold off for another ten or so pounds before I invest in a pair, but it feels damn good to know that I’m about the size before my son was born.

The motivation is still strong, and I’m finding that I’m able to connect with more people because of this huge weight loss movement that I’ve undertaken. I like being there to motivate and help those who need the help. Even after all this time, I still feel amazed that I can be the inspiration that people need to change their lives. That is a powerful realization. What makes it more so, is the fact that I take that responsibility very serious.

The hardest part about taking that kind of responsibility, was that I wish that I had taken it so much more serious. I’ve seen people reach the point of no return, and it’s not just with weight, but depression issues as well. I wish I had not be blinded by my own internal turmoil because I feel that I should have been doing something so much sooner.

It’s been about two weekends since I last weighed in and tomorrow is my four month check-up. The family is excited to find out what the latest numbers are. I’m excited as well, but I’d be lying if the thought of plateauing didn’t bother me. I know that I’ve got a long way to go, but things have gone well so far. Once I start with my trainer next week. I don’t think that I’ll be so worried, it’ll be time to cut more of the fat, and faster.

Since the weather has gotten nicer, I’m going to start that hiking club that I was talking about in some of the blogs before. That’s exciting, and if things take off, I also have a CK Project shirt in the design stages, as well as a Luckey Bom Films  shirt. It’s a crazy concept, yet very exciting to know that I’m about to start bringing out merchandise for my creations. It’s surreal, yet it’s happening. I’m gonna have to thank my good friend at Sticky Prints for being willing to work with me. I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to how my “businesses” are going too be represented.

So much excitement is happening, and the production company’s about to have a meeting next week, to discuss expanding, and where we’re going to go for our next project. It feels good to feel accomplished, and I know that things are just starting… Just wait to see where we’re going to be in a year, in five years! Too much potential, and I love the team that I work with. I’ve been talking to a few more people about working with them. I think good things will come out of these connections that I’m making.

Any way, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap!

Success? Maybe When I’m Ready

Did you ever feel like you get in the way of your own success?  I know I have, but have you ever stopped and wonder why?  I think deep down inside, we face a bit of fear. What if we obtain success? How will it change us? How will it change the way other’s perceive us? At what cost does success come?

This is my thought process on it-yes I’m partially afraid of how things will change, but at the same time I’m excited for the adventure that comes with it. The thought of doing what I love brings me a sense of completion, and a sense of purpose.  I have no doubts that being a filmmaker was something I was born to do.  I’ve always had a great joy in being creative and this is the ultimate outlet that let’s me do it. As I’ve gone through these classes, I’ve discovered that I enjoy the writing process, which I had been on that journey for several years now, but I do enjoy it.

I embrace the chance to get out of the normalcy of a settled life, and I don’t hesitate on feeling excited about going to work. I wonder how this might change things between my family and myself, because movie making is a demanding thing that takes so much hard work to be good at and successful.  Could they stand me being away, filming while it’s the holidays? Or even a birthday?  Will they be with me while we film?  Are they going to want to join in on this kind of work? All I know is that while I want to have my own production company, I do still want to work on my craft in the highly competitive world of high budget filmmaking. I would love to work on a Fox, Warner Bros. or Disney movie.  As my passions of superheroes and geek culture run hot in my veins, I would love to be involved with a Star Wars movie.

I’m glad that I’ve been blessed with a supportive group of friends and family, they all are amazing with the encouragement and praise.  What if that changes with my success? Part of me really wants to put the nay sayers in their place by doing what they said was impossible.  What if my friends end up envious because of my said success and they decide to hate me? These questions continually run through my mind, but it wouldn’t be the first time that I was “hated on”.  I’ve got a personality that you either love, or you absolutely hate. I’ve felt the negative pull of hatred and bias; being the fat kid with a loud mouth tends to do that. That is the way it gets when I also have a strong work moral. I’m not afraid to tell someone no, just because they want to have things their way. It doesn’t work that way.

I guess being successful shouldn’t be a fearful thing, I’m ornery enough to put nay sayers in their place. This is what is going to drive me, because my success is on my own accord and not placed on the people who would want to bring me down. I know in the end, my family is going to support me because part of the reason that I do these things is so that I can do better for my family.  That and the fact that doing this has helped me with my depression in ways that I can’t even describe.

I just wanted to post a little thing on what’s been on my mind lately, as will a billion other things. This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.