Life With Unmotivated Words

So, seventeen days have passed since my last blog. Motivation has mostly eluded me as I’ve been dealing with life’s issues of varying degrees. I know that I need to get myself in the right mind set, and I’m putting myself back on track today.

It’s funny because I set my goal to get back on the right path on Friday and I’m sticking to that commitment. Time to kick even more ass as I head closer to my one year anniversary of my surgery.

Before I continue, I find it funny how the levels of motivation seem to change. While life had been going on, my writing has fallen behind, but my weight loss journey has been moving forward really well.  I’m shrugging it off and am putting more dedication to the other aspects of my life. I need those outlets to help me keep myself more sane.

Today I ended up staying home and helping the wife out with her recovery from the procedure she had yesterday. That meant that I had to take the kid, who wasn’t sick, to school today. I feel good that I was able to get in my personal training session. It was good to get some time and focus on my journey to better help. It’s one of the things that I require in my life to find a balance. Which is something else that I find kind of funny that I’ve become dependent on things to help me keep peace in my soul.

I finally started on my slasher script, and while I had a few pages on paper, I’m eager to see where I take this story. I’m taking my time to write it, because I want this to be the best writing I’ve done so far, even if that’s the way I feel about every piece I write. The creative process has been a saving grace of mine for the last several years, and I’m discovering that I shouldn’t put it off. Every time I do, I feel a bit off, though, working out is also part of it as well.

I’ve been getting colder as the days get shorter, I guess that’s part of where the weight loss has been negative, but fitting in a 2x shirt has made things well worth the journey so far. Although the hanging skin is something that I want to go away at some point. Though  the things I can do with it does make people laugh. I’ll be ready to get rid of the wizard sleeves after my journey changes from losing to maintaining.

I was able to see my friend at The Great Western War. She recently had the surgery and was looking great. She told me that everyone had been telling her how much her attitude had changed. She said that she didn’t realize how much happier she was. I was telling her that I agreed, that I noticed that having the surgery changed me like that as well.

It’s funny how much the mind, and body really align with each other. When one is off, so is the other usually. That’s where over compensation tends to come in. For me it was putting on the ego, and having the over the top personality. While the ego’s fading away with real confidence, I don’t think my personality has changed. Though I do feel like I’m quieter over all. I take more time to speak and not let my emotions get the best of me anymore, or at least I try not too.

I’m the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

Push To Not Give Up

Our minds can be our greatest strength, but it can also be our worse enemy. I also know that this has been a subject that I’ve been touching on quite a bit recently. It’s just part of the journey, as I continue on building a better self. At least I haven’t given up on the path yet.

Moving forward, I weighed-in yesterday. Being in a place of self doubt, and not thinking I’ve been doing vary well, I was glad to see that I hadn’t let myself get out of control. The scale came in at 293.9. That’s a five pound loss since my last weigh-in. My BMI is at 42.2, which is great to know that I’ve lost about twenty percent of my body mass.

I’m kind of in an odd spot where I’ve had to get smaller equipment to wear for work, the stuff I’ve been wearing is getting way to big on me, yet one size smaller is still a bit too small for me. I did notice last week that the belt I wear was starting to fit better though. I also realize that now’s the time I actually get myself some new uniforms.

All I can keep telling myself is to just keep pushing forward. It’s always hard to keep that on the forefront of my mind, but it’s worth it. A misstep isn’t the end of the world. I think that’s the biggest fear…to just loose control and end up back at square one. Maybe that’s my check point, and what keeps me going. That fear of being like I was, with no will power, and no self control. I don’t want to feel the way I used to feel. I’m liking my new outlook on life.

Going back to the weigh-in though: I’m down 136 pounds. It feels good, no, it feels great. My next goal to hit is 270, and I know that isn’t so far away of obtaining. I’m now at a weight that I was before I got with my wife Sarah. It feels great, and that was over eighteen years ago. If I hit below 270, that will be a weight I haven’t seen in over twenty years. As I say and think it, a feeling of amazement comes to mind. I can’t even begin to grasp the concept of me being less than fat. While I’m no longer considered morbidly obese, I’m considered severely obese.

I guess that it’s a down grade, but it still feels negative to be considered that. I know that I have a long way to go before I’ll be considered healthy, but I’m getting there. That’s the mentality that I need to keep: I’m getting there. So, that should be one of my new hash tags- #Imgettingthere . A mantra to follow, and keep me going.

I saw a hash tag on Facebook the other day that I think I’m going to also start using: #itsokaynottobeokay. I think that it speak volumes especially since it still seems taboo to talk about mental health issues. I’m glad that I took up the mantle to be a voice for mental health awareness. It was sad when there was people that I knew had taken their own lives, and that’s part of why I do it. That and I have family members who also suffer from depression and I love them, and want them to have a long and wonderful life.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

The Weekend Get-Away

Before Sarah and I left to go on our anniversary get-away, I did weigh in and discovered that I had lost one -point-six-pounds since my last two-week weigh in. I’m currently sitting at 307.1 pounds. While that doesn’t seem like a huge difference, at least it’s a loss, and if we take my weigh-in at the doctor’s, that would be about a three pound difference… but hey, who’s counting.

While we were spending our weekend in Kernville, I was noticing the housing market, and the businesses for rent. It got me to thinking of things that I could try and get into. Videography is only one of the things I was thinking about possibly trying to get going up there. I love the area, and the water at Lake Isabella is beautiful. That’s what a lot of our discussion was about. There are ideas, that we need to research out before making decisions or any announcements, but it was exciting to get the ideas flowing. I do also know that I think I want to write and film a movie involving the area.

This was an adventurous weekend. I got my ten thousand steps in all three days we were there. Having been up there because of a close friend many times, it was nice to actually explore and try out restaurants and diners that we hadn’t tried before. The whole time we were thinking about how our foodie of a son would like those places. Good food, just a bit too greasy in some aspects, but the breakfast asada tacos where amazing on Sunday.

This last weekend’s get away was exactly what I needed. To be honest, I haven’t been very motivated for anything lately, and this was the perfect reset button that I needed. Sarah needed it as well. It’s beautiful when all you have to do is be in the presence of the person who has your heart. I don’t think I spoke so much, but looked at her. She’s amazing, she puts up with me, and she actually loves me. Who could believe such a thing like that existed?

I think the best part of the weekend was after our first long day, we binged watched the Netflix series Glow. I mean, I loved the first season, but I just couldn’t stop watching season two. I love the eighties feel, and the story behind the scenes for the all-female wrestling promotion. It was very entertaining, and brought up some subjects that are valid by today’s standards. Alison Brie, is just so much fun to watch.

I know that I’m everywhere tonight, but the weekend was great, and now I’m back to being able to focus on the present, and get things moving again. Well, I think that’s about it for now. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

No Pain, No Gain

So, I have a five day weekend that started yesterday, and because it was the fourth of July, I didn’t get my personal training session in. That’s okay, because I made it up today, and suffered for it. Sometimes, I ask myself why I do the things I do, then I remember, because I don’t want to be unhealthy anymore.

Today, Sam started to help me find my inner strength to help push through all the pain, and suffering to get the best workout that I can. I’ve never been one to grunt or yell in the gym…and I’ll leave it at that. However, I’m being shown that it helps bring my inner strength out, and helps me keep going for a few more reps, at least.

Again, I’m reminded that I still have that man trapped in a bigger body mentality. It’s not always easy to over come, especially since I’ve not be able to do things for years do to my mobility. I know that I should be able to do more things, but what my mind and body think is sometimes two totally different things. I find myself trying to convince my body that I can do these things, even when it wants me to hesitate.

Since I’m on a five-day weekend, I decided to put myself through a six-day challenge with my ten-k-step challenge. I’m currently on day three, and I’m not quite half-way there yet. I figured that I would get a bit of rest before going back out to finish it off because I did squats today. I’m usually good with doing the three-sets of twenty, however, we also did more sets  and different variations on the squat.

I got my my steps in yesterday, but I ended up with another oddly shaped sunburn again. The barbell was a bit uncomfortable on the sunburn, yet I pushed through and did alright. I surprised myself with as well as I did. Plus, we got in some deeper sets on top of the normal squats we did.

The more I train, the more I think that I really do want to learn and also become a personal trainer as well. Like I said before, it would add a bit of Creedence to my CK Project, and I really do like helping other people. Whether by motivation, inspiration, or however, it gives me a different purpose in my life. I don’t think I would have ever wanted to do this about ten or so years ago.

I know that when I started the Project about seven years ago, it was more about accountability, than anything else. I was glad that people where being inspired, and it made me feel good to know that I could have such a positive impact, now it’s one of the driving forces behind what I do.

This is the legacy that I want to leave: The fact that I was able to help someone change for the better. There’s been too much in my life that’s been caused by negativity, and I don’t want to be someone who has turned into something that just adds to the negativity. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this all too much on social media. Facebook, Twitter; there’s a bunch of negative posts about religion and politics that happens.

I find that I’ve seen the worst in people on my pages. I choose not to comment because I pick and choose my battles, even though I’m also going to admit now, that I have a tendency to be interested in the unknown variables, just because I’m interested in the way “the system” will respond to it. It can be frustrating that I find myself on the losing end of the vote, as often times what I wanted, doesn’t seem to win.

Anyway, as I’ve observed the political debates, or religious debates go from a mature amicable conversation, to name calling and a two paragraph message on someone’s reason that someone else is “stupid”. I mean come on, we all have our opinions, but why does it have to resort to name calling, just because someone doesn’t agree. Why not just agree to disagree, so that the name calling doesn’t devolve into a match of a typed out boxing match. I feel that it doesn’t put a favorable light on the complete argument. Yes, I’ve fallen into this trap a couple of times, but I’m trying to become a better person, and not reflect that type of negativity.

All I’m saying is, try and be good humans to each other, and with that being said, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap. I do have my seven month check-up on Saturday, and we’re going to be spending the day on adventures.

New Time Same Trainer

So, I ended up changing my training time from 5:30 to 4:00 on Mondays and Wednesdays. I think this time will work better for me in the end. I was also able to assist with Grappling lessons today. Sitting on the mat and watching the matches was fun. It also reminded me that my body isn’t used to that sort of thing as I was having issues getting off of the ground. I guess that’s what happens when you do Dead Lifts and Squats.

Squats were the last exercise I did today. I felt the burn as I rounded out my last exercise, and I ended up taking it a bit slower than I really wanted too. At least my form is getting better. It’s good that we’re hitting about every major part of the body during my half hour workout. I plan on going to the gym on Friday, it’ll be in the morning, but it will also give my son a chance to try and “pump some iron”.

I feel that taking him to the gym with me will give us some bonding time, and I can teach him something. It’ll help keep me going as well. I really do need to step up the number of days that I’m lifting weights. I think it’ll help my sessions with Sam as well. I’m not sure if I have the courage to do squats without a spotter though. I’ll be able to show the difference between using free weights and what using the machines will be like.

Another thing that I started doing was helping Sam out with the grappling class today. One thing, was that Sam(my trainer) was a bit short handed, and two it was fun to help guide children in the right direction with the techniques they were using. I want to say that it was even better to help Little Chris understand the moves a bit better. As a father I’m proud of the steps that the little kids have made there. Lily in particular has seemed to taken off with it, and both kids seem to be making friends.

One of the things that I’ve noticed, is that I’m gaining flexibility. I’ve been trying to stretch my legs a bit over the last several days, and now that my belly is gone, I can cross my legs. I know that it sounds a bit silly, but that is a big goal. I still have a long way to go until I’m satisfied with my movement.

I’ve been in contact with a friend who’s had weight loss surgery, and they’ve been a bit down about gaining some of their weight back. Well, I’m happy to say that I’ve stepped in and offered to help get them back on track. It’s funny to think on how the mind can effect the body, but negative thoughts doesn’t ever help the situation. I think this is going to help me be better at one of the goals I’m trying to achieve with the CK Project.

One another note, another long time friend has also decided to start their own weight loss journey, and I’ve also offered to walk and motivate them as well. I’m thrilled by the fact that I’m allowed to be the person supporting them. It give me a sense of purpose. Again, this helps to push me as a motivational speaker, because it’s one of the many “hats” I want to wear.

The one thing I think that I’m leaving with the lesson of this week is that the accepted help has strengthened my resolve to keep going with what I’m doing. This is the time in my life, where I absolutely love life, and am totally sure that I’m in the best place that I’ve been in my life. I’ve got a great family life. I’ve got goals, and the drive to see them through. I couldn’t ask for much more, except that I actually make the money from the projects that I’ve got going.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Struck By Motivation

So, I decided that I was going to make my 10,000 steps today. My current total is 13,054 steps for the day. Which means I’ve traveled 5.8 miles and burned 772 Calories. Not bad for a Tuesday. The one thing that I noticed today is that I’m feeling a slight pull in the back on my right hamstring. I think that I need to stretch it out, and I hope that helps.

With life going at such a fast pace, I’ve felt that I had a few weeks of lost motivation. I know that it’s a normal response to lose motivation. You can’t always go 100% all the time without a bit of fatigue. I was there creatively as well, but I’m finding that extra motivation to continue to work on that as well. The lack of motivation was just a phase, but it was a habit that I had been comfortable with for a long time.

As I sit here and write this, I think about how I would come home and just play video games, or watch television. I don’t really do those things like I used too. It’s funny to reflect on how I was at this time last year, and to see where I am mentally now. I like to create, that’s something I’ve been a fan of most of my life. Music, stories, poetry, I’ve always had a hand in something creative. Maybe that’s why I’m coming into a place in my life where I’m feeling fulfilled with the things that I work on.

My team should have some stories out that we can look at shooting, and I’m excited to see where this newly formed machine is going to take us. While it’s true that I’ve worked with almost everyone in some form, the relationship of this team is still relatively new. This both excites me, and makes me nervous, because I want this to succeed.

It’s not just that I want the production company to succeed, I want this team to prosper as well. Sometimes I start to fear that ego might get in the way, and that is something I’m trying to avoid. I have enough self-doubt that crosses my mind every so often. Yes, I know that my depression tries to sabotage me, and I have to get reassurance that everything is okay. I guess that’s the emotional side of me. I do try and keep it in check though, and I hate when the creative process seems to be hindered. At least what we’ve done so far, has helped put the team on a better level of understanding.

I know one of the projects that I need to start is to work on an outline for The CK Project. With me down over 110 pounds, I think that we need to start documenting the rest of the transformation, and get some motivational words on video. It’s an idea, that I’ve had, and I did a few small videos before the surgery. The only after surgery videos have come out on Facebook and Snapchat. Part of the goal is to impliment them more as well.

 I’m finding success documenting the weight loss journey through Instagram, and I’ve made several contacts with others on this journey through social media. These people have my full support, and those who I’ve talked too in the real world are getting behind The CK Project. As soon as I get the next prototype for the shirt, if I like it, I’ll be getting them availible to the public, and I know my trainer, Sam Basco, is one of the first customers.

Speaking of Sam, I took my kids too one on his youth grappling classes yesterday, and they seemed to enjoy themselves. I get such a joy watching my children do new things and have fun with social interaction. I find a fasination and pride watching them try their hardest. I think that’s how most parent’s are. I look forward to seeing where my family’s relationship with Flawless Victory MMA  is going to go. The coaches are great, and very supportive in the growth of physical health and the MMA profession.

Sam is also going to help my wife rehab her arm, and get both strength and range of motion back into it. We spent several hours in the emergancy room, just to get meds, and no real examination. I feel that it’s kind of frustrating, when you would expect a medical professional to take the time to examine the problem, but instead say that it’s common, give us a perscription, and send us on our way. That was a huge waste of five hours of our time, but at least she did get something to help.

Professionally, I think that this or next week, I’ll start hearing from the moves that I’m trying to make. I’m really excited about this because, I’m ready to move on and grow into new things(That is why I went to school). I’m trying to keep positive about everything, and while I’ve faultered at times, I do think that the pay off’s going to be big, and I’ve got an eye in three different places for the same kind of job.

Anyway, things are really looking up. I had a rough moment this weekend, but feel better as my point was made. I just need to learn to control the emotions behind it a bit better. So, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

4th Month Green Light.

So, today was a success at my four month check-up with the West Medical doctor. So, let’s get down to the status of were I’m at today. Keep in mind that I try to weigh in every two weeks besides the doctor’s visits, and since my last check up they say I’ve lost over nine pounds. The doctor was happy because I’m keeping consistent will my weight goals.

First, my weigh in was at 334 pounds exactly. That means I’ve lost 4.4 pounds since I weighed in during Wonder Con. That’s not bad since I seem to average between four and seven pounds every two weeks. I know that the weight is slowly starting to lose less and less, but if I keep up the work I’m doing, than I should be down at least a hundred pounds by my next weigh in, and so far, I’m probably the lowest weight that I’ve been in over ten years.

Another astonishing fact is the my BMI(Body Mass Index) is at 47.9. Before I started this whole thing, I was over a BMI of 61, and it’s noticeable by the clothing that I wear. Everything is just too big anymore, and I’ve had to get a size or two smaller. I’ve even dropped about ten pants sizes since December. I wouldn’t have dreamed that I would be able to drop more weight then my son is currently at.

This also brings me to the problem of me needing to buy a few uniforms at smaller sizes because, well, mine are just too big, and things are sliding off of my body. I’ve almost lost my pants several times, when walking or getting into a vehicle. I realize that I’ll have to bit the bullet on this one. Oh, well…

Today was a good day, as I made another purchase to help get my businesses pushed to the next level. It feels good to realize that I’ve taken my future serious. The things I want are set, and I’m doing everything I can to obtain them. It’s also great to have the direction that I need to get things accomplished.

The CK Project has already helped people start to make the change in their lives, and I hope that I’ll be able to use this experience to do motivational speaking engagements. It’s been a dream for years to get the message out on mental health and now physical health as well. I even plan on starting to work out with my son during the weekends. I think it might be good for him.

Well, I’m sure glad that the craziness from this weekend is over, and that I can finally relax, and enjoy being home for the next week. Next weekend is going to be handling things in town as we get ready to bring the production team together to discuss expansion(I know, I’ve mentioned it). I’ve got a great team with a chemistry that I look forward to infusing with more elements for a bigger reaction, and combination to get things done.

One more note, so The Geekultural Experience  is getting ready for it’s first broadcast tomorrow. We are going to be doing a show on Youtube that will be showing various comic shops and game stores that we’ve been too and recommend shopping at. I’ve already talked too a couple of owners in two different towns about this idea, and they are up for it. I can’t wait to introduce everyone to Otto, a game store owner in Bakersfield, and Roger, a comic book shop owner in Palmdale. These two are very good at their areas of expertise, and I’d be honored to help give them both more business if possible.

I wrote something on Facebook  last night, that I wanted to share. Think of it as a parting word for inspiration. Keep striving for growth. making the best version of yourself. That’s the best way to keep moving forward. I know that there are times that we feel a bit lost, shaken, self doubt…Remembering that we can always better ourselves, or strive to better ourselves gives us the chance to embrace the challenge to become something bigger than who we know ourselves to be. Some people thrive on competition, and who better than to compete with the one person who knows how to challenge us the most. The person who already knows all the tricks and dirty tactics that we would attempt to use to sabotage our success.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap!

A Week Until Four Months

I have about a week until my four month check up. Damn what a ride this year has been already, as a matter of fact, my size forty-six waist size us getting too big for me. With that comes the fact that I’ve been so busy, and I’ll admit that I kind of slacked off this week. After the craziness of con weekend, I think I deserved a bit of rest. As I sit here, I’m thinking about a conversation I had with my friend Curtis, and the fact that I thought after school I would have a bit of time off for relaxation….

Relaxation, what a load of shit that turned out to be. Not that life going full force isn’t fun, I just thought that I’d have a bit of time to chill during the weekends. Looking at this weekend, it was nice to have a moment to enjoy and sleep in my own bed without doing much, and that was the point, but looking at the rest of the month I have one out of four weekends free, and then I’ve committed to spend time with some of the most awesome people and watch a movie. I’m looking forward to that, as some time to relax with good people.

Keeping busy at least keeps me active. Friday we head one direction for some business, and then on Saturday we have to head in the opposite direction for my four month check up. Plus I’m adding to my weekly routine with my personal trainer this week(hopefully). I have some freelance business to do. I have a conference call tomorrow, I’m excited to see how that is going to turn out.

I’m also busy with some overtime this month at the regular job, and realizing that I have to work the weekend of  Avengers: Infinity War isn’t exactly the thing I wanted on my plate. Especially since I’ve been eager for this movie for two years, but the next weekend will get my money for sure.

Let’s get back to the weight loss journey at hand, while I haven’t weighed myself this week, because of my appointment on Saturday, I feel like I’m down a few more pounds. I saw a friend this weekend, and she told me that I looked so different since the last time she saw me. Again, that’s always a great confidence boost.

It’s funny that the closer I get to being at the -100 pound mark, the more determined I feel about loosing the weight. I figured that over all I have to lose between 220-240 to be at the ultimate goal. As an adult, if I would have been asked, I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of it being a reality, but no shit, this is happening. I’m cranking up the motivation again this week as I’m going to be hitting those 10k steps several times over this week.

Again, this all depends on what all happens to me this week, as with having to get in a couple of hours in for late night overtime at some point, this week? Plus the freelance meetings that I have, then the traveling out of town for a couple of days. There really isn’t enough hours in the day anymore. Yet I will prevail!

One of the things I’ve been doing since graduation is that I’ve been job searching, and I’ve added blogger, and health and wellness to the experience. I love how life is giving me the experience that I need to be better in the professional world.

So, my advice for anyone who seems to be unmotivated or unsure of what they want to do, or where they want to be; all I can say is that it get easier. I remember that after I had my surgery, 10,000 steps seemed so hard to reach. As a matter of fact, I could barely get to 5,000. You’ve seen the stats, you’ve read about the journey. It gets easier, and once you figure that out. You’ll notice when you start to slack. Remember that the biggest trick to weight loss is the fact that it’s a mental game. Keep it there, because once you do. The physical part becomes so much easier. Remember the old cliche: Mind over matter. No shit! It’s true, and that’s the reason I’ve been so successful in this journey. The positivity, the motivation, all of it was my choice.

Reach inside yourself and find that which is going to motivate you. It took me to feel like I was almost dying to take control of my life, and there isn’t anything I regret by doing the surgery. At the same time, I’m not going to lie, it takes work. Sure the weight starts to melt off and you get this false sense of confidence that it’ll be a cake walk. I think that’s why there are those who still fail, even after the surgery, but get that mind right, and tell yourself that you are in control, and make procrastination your bitch. In the end, you’ll thank yourself for the determination.

For too long, I let my depression, keep hold of me. Taking the time to change the way I think was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Now I rarely have a bad day. Even those days, aren’t so bad. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Phase 2: What’s Next?

As I seem to finally be getting all my “ducks in a row”, I can’t help but think of the growth that this month has brought me. First, I’ve really started getting into the free lance thing, and I’m currently building my connections to work with other people in the future. I should be doing more videos soon, and not just for the film side of things, but I also think that it’s about time for the CK Project to start coming out with somethings too.

Which leads me to the second “duck”. I’ve been really pushing the weight loss part of the project since before my surgery, and I stand firm on how I’m moving forward. The walking will continue, even if I’ve slacked for a couple of days. After all I did walk over thirty-one miles over the convention weekend. I’m so close to the one hundred pound mark that I’ll be excited if that’s where I’ll be weighing in at my four month check up.

I have to keep mindful of slacking off, because getting back into old habits isn’t hard to do. Even my studying has tapered off. In my defense, this has been a crazy month, and I’m getting back on track for things(notice the blog coming out today). I have to keep going, because there are other’s looking up to me as a role model. It’s crazy to think that I would be where I am right now in my life. Good thing that I’m doing my best to be a positive beacon.

I was having a conversation with a friend today, and she told me that my motivation and positive energy has affected her, and that she’s been trying to do more for her family. I’m glad that I could help. That’s the turning point for me, when I decided that I wanted to help others and not just myself. That’s just part of the mental change for me.

Speaking of the mental change, I’m having more problems focusing at my current job, because there’s more passion in the other side in my life. I can’t wait to be dealing with that side full-time, and be able to get paid for it. I’m not trying to get rich by any means, but I know that I can do better than I have now, and I can support my family better. At this, I have moments that I feel my patience is wavering. Which another friend says that it seems like it would be common for my situation.

I think that losing the weight has also helped me mentally. Now I’m not so down on myself because I’m feeling trapped in my body. I’m actually feeling different, with the way I stand, my confidence(which on a side note, hasn’t really ever been a problem), and overall, I’m feeling better in health than I have in the last fifteen years.

I love how people are encouraging me, and telling me to keep it up. I kind of think that it’s funny that people would say that too me. This has been a lot of work, even with the surgery, don’t you think that I would want to keep it off. I’ve been fat most of my life, I’m ready for the time I’m not shaped like the Kool-aid man. Believe me, I’ve seen some people kind of stop doing what it takes to keep off the weight, and it isn’t worth it to me, in my book.

Finally, I’m getting my geek media started. The Geekultural Expereince. This was something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I never really had a name for it. The last name we had was Geek on Geek, but I realized that’s kind of over done, and I wanted something more unique, and why not. Geek, Culture, Experience; it just made sense to me. Look for the first pod cast this weekend, and we’ll be dropping it on Saturday, March thirty-first.

This was just a small update, and as always, this is the director and that’s a wrap.

Let’s ‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’

I hit the 10,000 steps two days in a row, and almost did for a third day, but the average was over that 10k mark for sure. With that being said, I’ve kind of chilled the last two days to give myself a rest. I feel like I push myself ragged at times, which makes it harder for me to focus on the studious aspect of my life. The results are good though very good.

Remember when I talked about my start on this weight loss journey that my highest weight was 429.9 lbs? Breaking down the science of fat content, that and the fact that I’m 5’10(I think my weight shrunk me a bit), that equals out to a Body Mass Index of 61.7. That means that 61.7% of my body was covered by fat, and that’s what caused me to feel like a prisoner in my body. It also explains why it was harder for me to be cold(well insulated for sure).

I went in and weighed myself yesterday, and I discovered that I’ve lost another 7.6 lbs, which puts me at the weight of 352.4. My BMI is now at 50.6 and the total is now at 77.5 lbs, and with that, I feel accomplished.352.4

Yep, that’s me! When it’s compared to how I was looking, people say they see the loss in the face, and neck….what I notice in this pic is how much belly has gone, and even looking down I see that it’s missing. It’s fantastic not feeling like the Kool-aid man. People tell me to keep it up and not to stop. Believe me, there’s no chance in that. Realize that I did, get part of my body removed to help get me going on the right path, and I’m determined not to stay fat. I like not hurting or struggling when I move. That’s the biggest part of the win so far.

Second win goes to the people who seemed to be inspired by this journey that I’ve undertaken, as I’m recruiting people to do some hikes with me and the family. I think it’ll be a great bonding experience, and honestly, other’s wanting to take my example and get heathy too, is one of the most amazing feelings to me as well.

The weight loss has really helped my mental health as well, with the compliments, more self confidence comes into play. Plus I don’t feel like I loathe myself anymore.  I can’t think of anything better then all the positives that are coming out of these life changes. I’ve discovered that there are still a few things that upset my stomach, but I’m also trying to be conscious about not trying to stretch it out. I miss some of the spices that I love so much, but I’m sure I’ll be able to eat those again someday, and I’m at about the two and a half month mark out from my surgery.

I might just make that hundred pound mark with in the next few months. I haven’t seen three hundred in about seventeen years, and it would be incredible to make that half-way-point in my ultimate goal weight. Right now, my smaller goal is 339.5. Once I reach that, I’ll plan on making a goal of about 296, which was the weight I was when I was married to my first wife, in 2001. I get excited about those kinds of thoughts. I get excited to know that I won’t be fat for the rest of my life, and that my life won’t be as short as it was probably going to end up had I not done something to take the control back.

It’s sad to think that I got to a point where I thought that I was going to die, and I’ll be honest, I welcomed it for a time there. I stopped caring, and I was just going to let life happen to me, and I didn’t care when or where it would happen. Now, it’s different. Now I have the power, and I like to move, and get those steps in. Soon, I’ll be able to push myself again, and I can’t weight to add weights into my routine. I’ve always loved weight lifting, and I’ll feel more comfortable on the machines that I’m going to use. I’ll get in the sit-ups, push-ups, and a faster mile. This in vain of what I do for work, and I could promote, but I don’t really have the drive to continue with the current track for my career. I want to move onto something that give me a chance to use the more creative part of my brain.

The reward, would be the fact that I could do it if I chose too. I’ve come a long way in the last year, and I’m all about self improvement these days. I’ve got the best support system that I think any person could ask for, and it’s a blessing that it helps to keep me motivated. Though the real trick is that I’m keeping myself motivated. I have my bad days, but I stay motivated. I think that’s how I’m learning to survive, is by staying motivated, and positive. Getting the mind and body in harmony is the secret.

Anyway, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.