Brain Matter on my Mind

Whether it’s the weight loss journey or mental health awareness, I find that the brain can trick the body into feeling something that’s not always there. I find that my brain wants to tell me that it’s time to eat, and that if I don’t actually take a moment to really analyze the situation, I might not really be hungry.

I find that if I get left alone in my thoughts for too long, I can start to over think, and self-doubt comes into play. This is one of my bigger weaknesses, as depression has always been there. It’s not nearly as bad as it used to be, however, I can still sense it at the outer edges lingering and giving me a moment to pause.

I suppose that’s why I try to stay constantly busy. This way I don’t have to give my mind to start lingering on stupid insecurities, and anxiety. I find that multi-tasking comes easy when I can listen to a conversation, and still type. This actually drives my family crazy as I can look at them and work on a blog at the same time.

The endorphins from exercising is an anti-depressant, and I know that if I take too long between my workouts, that I start getting depressed too. If more people knew, and I mean really knew about this little life hack, I’m sure everyone who suffers from depression would be in shape(joking).

It’s strange to realize how much the body and mind end up reflecting each other. I know at my biggest, my mind was in a terrible state, and I hated myself. Having the Gastric Sleeve sent me down a path that I never expected. I connect with people better, and it wasn’t like I was ever someone who would treat people negatively in the first place, but I seem to relate better to others, and myself.

It’s also helped me to realize my ambition, while most people spend their lives developing a brand that represents them, I’ve gone so far as working on three. The CK Project is probably where my legacy will be. As I’ve been making some great progress with it over the last year or so. It’s not surprising as this is my oldest and longest running of the brands. It all started as a way to hold myself accountable to others when I originally started my weight loss journey with Weight Watchers, eight-years ago.

It’s amazing that The CK Project went from weight loss, to mental health, and back to being both. It’s come full circle and I love it. We’re making plans on turning it into something bigger and better. Hell, we’re looking to make this go more professional, and can’t wait to let out the details. Speaking of growth, the experiences that I’ve had in the name of the project, has given me growth both personally and professionally. Things that I can carry unto other jobs that I may take in the future.

Another mind opening realization is that experience is the best teacher. I find that talking about my issues, has allowed me to regain control of my life. The more I talk about struggling with my mental health, the less power it has over my decisions in life. I find that I need to do better about pushing myself  when exercising. My mind still wants to tell me that I’m 430 pounds. I know I have issues with lunges and falling backwards.

I’m finding that inner strength that I have. I kept things quiet for so long, and it’s like I’m finally finding that voice to start the process to going Super Sayian. I have a ways to go, but it does help me push for those extra reps. Also, I’m afraid to push myself so hard that I want to puke when I work out. So, does that mean I’m not pushing myself hard enough?

I guess having a negative mindset for so long, really has done me some harm, and I hope that it’s not irreparable. The mind is fascinating, and is the most powerful tool in any person’s tool belt for improvement. At the sometime, if you don’t treat it well, or if you don’t get help to tune it up, it can do damage that might never be repairable. Keep that in mind when venturing on this journey of life.

Self-care is more important than most people want give the focus too. This is coming from my professional view point. Often time, mental health is considered taboo, and no-one is comfortable about sharing their feelings. Toxic masculinity has kept the man’s man, cold and hard of feelings. Yet, things are improving, people are becoming more woke to the issues at hand. I believe that it’s over all for the better, yet I think we’ve lost some things in a world of political correctness.

With political correctness, I feel that people have forgotten how to laugh. We’re no longer given the permission to laugh because of a joke, and people seem to get more offended now than ever. Maybe, it’s more that it’s not as easy to keep quiet these days? Where is the proper balance in-between the truth and satire? Can we laugh at the wrong things, and not be judged. Maybe that’s why Cards Against Humanity is such a popular game? I know where my humor is, and it’s got some dark places at times.

Anyway, keep a clear, focused mind, because it’s the one asset we have to help us get through life. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Why We Should Uplift Each Other

There’s been a lot of unfortunate circumstances that have been surrounding my life and the lives of people I know. These are things that are common in the lifecycle, i.e. death, growing older; and yet it doesn’t make life any easier. With that, I find that it’s difficult to maintain a stasis of positivity.

I know that this is just a phase, and that I’m going to overcome this situation. As a matter of fact, putting in a bit more effort in a few places has already made me feel a bit better as it were. It’s just frustrating when I don’t always feel like I’m getting a handle on my own situation. That’s totally on me, and when I’m getting offed the help, I’m reluctant to take it, because I’m used to doing on my own.

Things in life happen that can go unexpectedly, and that’s why we should be mindful on how we treat each other. Even with me going through this personal strife, I always try to remain kind. In a work environment like mine, it’s not always easy. When you have to constantly deal with people who come off self-entitled, and are rude if you inconvenience them, it get difficult. I have the general rule that I’ll treat everyone professionally and kind, but if I get treated poorly, I will change the way I interact with people.

Forgive me, I seem to be getting off track.

However people are, sometimes the kind word could change their day. Sometimes, the kindness shown can change the entire direction of someone’s path. I know for a fact that letting someone know that they have someone who care can save a life. There are days that I think about how some people have left this world, and the tragedy that comes from the after effects of it.

I had a few friends over the last month lose their lives in car accidents. One wasn’t wearing a seatbelt while being struck by another vehicle at a red light, and the other apparently lost control of her vehicle. Both were shocking, and the ripple affects have been profound on myself and the other’s around me. It hit’s home when they are closer to my age, and I think it’s always an eye opener on how we need to tell those we love, how we feel.

Why is it people feel entitled to bringing others down? Why is it that people have to feel the bitterness of jealousy with others success and have joy in other’s pain?

I’ve been there on several occasions, I can admit that I’ve not always been great at being a good person. That’s where having a hard look at myself paid off. This was at a time that I couldn’t process dealing with my own emotional baggage. I think that’s the way it could be for a majority of people.

We live in a society that shuns getting professional help to deal with the mental stresses of life. We live in a society where males are expected to be macho, and show alpha traits in public. That showing a soft side is considered weak, and makes them easy prey. “Only the strong survive.”

I think society is slowly getting better at changing this way of thinking. I’m fortunate that I wasn’t ever condemned as a kid for being emotional, and I would cry at emotional moments in life. However, my mental state changed after I got into my accident in 1992. I think that we all just need to be more emotionally supportive of each other, then maybe we wouldn’t have so many shootings, and violence would be down a bit.

I really don’t want to go into politics on here, because my social media is filled to the brim of people on both sides of the isle. I just want to say a word of caution: while people want to bash either side, that they don’t share view points with; the reason that things aren’t working in the best way is because there isn’t any bipartisanship. We need that balance to be successful. Just because someone doesn’t agree with you on something doesn’t mean that they don’t have a valid point, just keep in mind that we all come with different view points.

Now that I’m off of my soap box, my point is sometimes someone is going through some hard times, and it helps when they get uplifted, it could mean a world of difference.  This is the director, and that’s a wrap.