So, tomorrow is my seventeenth anniversary with my wife. She’s probably the single reason that I’ve been successful in the things I’ve done so far. She supports, and pushes me to do better, and quite frankly, if I didn’t have that support, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
So, it seems a bit odd that we would get married on a Friday the thirteenth, but I’m not a believer in superstitions, as a matter of fact, they tend to work in my favor more than against me anyway. Seventeen years is a long time. In my generation, it seems uncommon to be together that long, and yet, here we are.
So, for a successful relationship, I’ve got some tips for anybody trying to have a long lasting relationship. First of all is communications: it took me a long time to learn this, as a matter of fact, I think it took both of us to learn this fact. Something that can be coupled with this is honesty. I know that sometimes truth can be a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s better to be honest about everything. Secrets tend to fester into something bigger than it should ever be. I know that sometimes people fuck up, it’s better to say something then let it eat you up inside. They know, somehow they’re smart enough to know when something is wrong.
Something I learned along the way that I wish I would have known in the beginning is don’t rush into anything. The best thing is to enjoy the relationship for what it is before complicating it with something like children, or even marriage can sometimes be too much. Autumn came into our lives fairly quickly, and we had to grow up as a couple quick. Neither one of us has any regrets, but as a reflection, we could have grown as a couple before the complications of pregnancy came in.
Not everything is smooth, and love isn’t perfect. This is truth, in most aspects of life anyway. You’re your own person, with your own opinions, and let’s face it, as an individual, you’re not always going to see “eye to eye” with everybody. Some days, you’re gonna hate that face of the other person, but if you decide to stick it out, you’ll be able to accomplish so much in your lives together.
There’s an energy that happens when you start a relationship that’s called The New Relationship Energy. It’s that feeling you get when the relationship is new and exciting. You get tricked into thinking that everything is perfect, and that person is perfect. It would be great if this could last, however that veil will be lifted up at some point, and then that’s when you discover the things your partner does that drives you crazy. Maybe you don’t like the snoring they do when you guys sleep. Maybe you don’t like their bathroom habits. That shit matters, and quite frankly can end up being the deal breaker for some people. I have my faults, and she has her’s, but we look past it to work on being a family.
While we’ve been married seventeen years, we’ve been together almost eighteen. I think part of what makes us work is the fact that we were friends first. I think a solid friendship helps, because essentially your partner’s gonna know you better than your best friend, unless you’re lucky enough to marry your best friend. I’ve found a best friend in Sarah, and I’ve gotten to know her better than my best friend.
When you get into a relationship, you becomes a we, and as a we, you become one. There are habits that you’re eventually going to pick up from your partner, and there’s things that your partner might pick up that will drive you crazy somewhere. That’s something I can only say you’ll have to figure out on your own. However, a word of cation: if you have kids, be of one mind when child rearing, because kids, can sense when there’s a difference of opinion, and they will use it to their advantage.
As a last bit of reflection, I’m lucky that Sarah had experience with raising her brother and sisters, it helped me find a path to being a parent. While I don’t always seem to give my thanks to her online or talk about all the current issues plaguing our relationship, I think that’s in our favor, because people like to cause trouble at times, and again, people have opinions. I know that I have some very different opinions about life choices than some of the people we know and hang out with, but I respect people for what they believe in and I would never force my opinion on them.
So to my wife, happy anniversary! You’ve stuck with my crazy ass so far, and I hope you want to continue for at least a little while longer. This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.