Struck By Motivation

So, I decided that I was going to make my 10,000 steps today. My current total is 13,054 steps for the day. Which means I’ve traveled 5.8 miles and burned 772 Calories. Not bad for a Tuesday. The one thing that I noticed today is that I’m feeling a slight pull in the back on my right hamstring. I think that I need to stretch it out, and I hope that helps.

With life going at such a fast pace, I’ve felt that I had a few weeks of lost motivation. I know that it’s a normal response to lose motivation. You can’t always go 100% all the time without a bit of fatigue. I was there creatively as well, but I’m finding that extra motivation to continue to work on that as well. The lack of motivation was just a phase, but it was a habit that I had been comfortable with for a long time.

As I sit here and write this, I think about how I would come home and just play video games, or watch television. I don’t really do those things like I used too. It’s funny to reflect on how I was at this time last year, and to see where I am mentally now. I like to create, that’s something I’ve been a fan of most of my life. Music, stories, poetry, I’ve always had a hand in something creative. Maybe that’s why I’m coming into a place in my life where I’m feeling fulfilled with the things that I work on.

My team should have some stories out that we can look at shooting, and I’m excited to see where this newly formed machine is going to take us. While it’s true that I’ve worked with almost everyone in some form, the relationship of this team is still relatively new. This both excites me, and makes me nervous, because I want this to succeed.

It’s not just that I want the production company to succeed, I want this team to prosper as well. Sometimes I start to fear that ego might get in the way, and that is something I’m trying to avoid. I have enough self-doubt that crosses my mind every so often. Yes, I know that my depression tries to sabotage me, and I have to get reassurance that everything is okay. I guess that’s the emotional side of me. I do try and keep it in check though, and I hate when the creative process seems to be hindered. At least what we’ve done so far, has helped put the team on a better level of understanding.

I know one of the projects that I need to start is to work on an outline for The CK Project. With me down over 110 pounds, I think that we need to start documenting the rest of the transformation, and get some motivational words on video. It’s an idea, that I’ve had, and I did a few small videos before the surgery. The only after surgery videos have come out on Facebook and Snapchat. Part of the goal is to impliment them more as well.

 I’m finding success documenting the weight loss journey through Instagram, and I’ve made several contacts with others on this journey through social media. These people have my full support, and those who I’ve talked too in the real world are getting behind The CK Project. As soon as I get the next prototype for the shirt, if I like it, I’ll be getting them availible to the public, and I know my trainer, Sam Basco, is one of the first customers.

Speaking of Sam, I took my kids too one on his youth grappling classes yesterday, and they seemed to enjoy themselves. I get such a joy watching my children do new things and have fun with social interaction. I find a fasination and pride watching them try their hardest. I think that’s how most parent’s are. I look forward to seeing where my family’s relationship with Flawless Victory MMA  is going to go. The coaches are great, and very supportive in the growth of physical health and the MMA profession.

Sam is also going to help my wife rehab her arm, and get both strength and range of motion back into it. We spent several hours in the emergancy room, just to get meds, and no real examination. I feel that it’s kind of frustrating, when you would expect a medical professional to take the time to examine the problem, but instead say that it’s common, give us a perscription, and send us on our way. That was a huge waste of five hours of our time, but at least she did get something to help.

Professionally, I think that this or next week, I’ll start hearing from the moves that I’m trying to make. I’m really excited about this because, I’m ready to move on and grow into new things(That is why I went to school). I’m trying to keep positive about everything, and while I’ve faultered at times, I do think that the pay off’s going to be big, and I’ve got an eye in three different places for the same kind of job.

Anyway, things are really looking up. I had a rough moment this weekend, but feel better as my point was made. I just need to learn to control the emotions behind it a bit better. So, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

As It Keeps Going Down

So, I went and weighed in on Friday, and I had lost about three and a half pounds. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t the best I’ve had for a weight loss, but it was a loss non the less. I attribute it too the fact that I’ve slacked a bit on my walking. Now that I’ve been put back on a regular rotation for work again. I’ve kind of used that as an excuse not to push the steps.

I’m not going to use that as an excuse anymore, because my weight total was 318.1. I’m eighteen pounds away from the 300 mark.   I need to keep the momentum up so that I can get past this leg of my journey. 2000 was the last time I was below that number, and I look forward to getting to that point.

My fat has been getting smaller, and my belly doesn’t hang anywhere like it used to. It’s crazy that I feel different. For an example…I’m starting to feel something more like muscle instead of fat in certain areas, or I should say a fatty clump like I used too. Yeah, I still feel and look like I’m misshapen, but looking at where I was at this time last year is incredible with the transformation.

Not only is the weight loss journey, but creatively things are picking up. We had our second production meeting, and it was nice to add to the creative team. They will also be good members to have on set, as running a production always help to have more people to help set up the scene and lighting. I can’t wait until we get into the creative stride so that we can keep producing fresh content.

I’m trying to find a script writing program that suites my needs, as Adobe Story has seemed to stop working as smoothly as it had been. I need a program that would help with other reports as well. Camera set-ups, cast and crew, and the like. I’m looking at one called  Celtx, and it seems to be one that I can use, it’s just a bit pricey. Who ever said running your own business was going to be cheap?

This weekend, dealing with these issues I had, was a bit of a challenge. The plus side is, I survived and I will be at work tomorrow. The fact that the kids have two weeks of school left, that’s a thought that I’m finding crazy. I mean where the hell did this year go already. We’re almost half done.

I am however looking forward to having a four day weekend starting next Friday. I know that we’ll be watching Solo(2018) to start the weekend. Four days off will be nice, and I’m sure I’ll get some great hiking in, and at least four days of 10k steps at least.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Water To Make It Grow

There was an idea. A minuscule thought that I decided I couldn’t just let go. So, I took that thought, and I decided to plant it. I needed a way to make this tiny thought grow. I needed to nurture it. I had to wait to see the buds come out of the soil. I was kind of scared to think about how it would look, if that bud would be worth it, and yet I needed to see if I could turn it into a flower. Then the thoughts of would it be good enough to bare fruit. I just wasn’t sure, if I was the right gardener.

The idea was to better myself, and I spent about a year thinking about it. Hell, I don’t even think that I thought too much on it, but that I wanted to just shut everything off. I didn’t want to deal with what life had given me at that time. I just wanted to feel numb. I wasn’t ready to grow yet.

When I had found out that change needed to happen, that’s when the idea started to form. I wasn’t quite ready for it to grow, but it was starting. When I decided to plant it, I made one of the most grown up decisions of my life: I would go back to school. I was tired of the wasteland that had become my life. I was tired of feeling trapped in a barren land where nothing was seemingly providing me with more than an unknown thirst. I couldn’t find a way to hydrate my soul, and I became desperate to quench that thirst. I just didn’t know how, or what I could do to change that feeling.

All I had known was that I needed something drastic to happen, and that came in the form of three words, “What’s up, bitches?” This would provide me with the time I needed to find the help and the watering trough that I would need to refresh myself. It’s funny to look back on that moment and realize that from a professional standpoint, “what’s up, bitches,” would be my legacy. Little did I realize that my life would take a drastic turn, and push me in ways I hadn’t expected.

As the seed was in the ground, I needed to water it, and school was the start of the fountain that would turn the seed into a bud. As I would go along, that fountain would also help that bud grow into a tree. This tree would bare the sweetest fruit that I had ever had in my life. I would become satisfied with a full belly, and the thirst would disappear.

As that tree started to grow almost four years ago. So would my life, and how funny that I would compare a tree to my life, as often that is the symbol of life. As a seed, my life was in shambles, I was ready to die, and I didn’t have my shit together. As, the process of education and going back to work happened, the tree grew bigger, and my life started to find the proper direction. Life had started to root into a solid foundation.

I wouldn’t have imagine that the fruit would end up being goals that I had never expected to accomplish. The CK Project was a seed that had died out when my life had become that barren wasteland. I had always wanted my own production company, when I was younger I always imagined that I’d be producing music, and movies, along with acting hadn’t ever been apart of that picture. Yet Luckey Bom Films would end up being the first fruit, and after consideration. The health and wellness part would become the second fruit.

Besides the Geekultural Experience the biggest blossom from the tree has been the drive that I never knew I had. This is where the gardening takes place, as I try to bare more fruit for my labors. So, now I’ve had time to see where my potential is taking me. I continue to grow, and the fruit keeps getting bigger and better. Life is turning into Eden for me, and I love it.

One year ago today, I had my first sleep study. It would lead me to this moment where I’m over one hundred pounds lighter, and my life expectancy has gotten longer. I’ve grown as a man, and I couldn’t be any more grateful for the support that I constantly get. The Facebook likes and comments, the Instagram likes, the Twitter comments. It all goes to validate what I’ve been trying to accomplish, and with the inspiration that people have told me that get from me, shows that I’m helping harvesting more gardens, and I hope that people can get what they are in return looking for.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

Thoughts

The heat has been in the high ninety range this week, and my spirit felt drained today. I even thought about not going to my personal training session because of it. Though, I’m glad that I went, even if I felt that I could push that 100%, I still tried to give it that 100%.

After the mental mess of the last couple of days, I’ve been able to regain my composure, and everything seems to be going right again. Creatively, I wasn’t aligned, and that dragged me down. Also, life seemed to be holding still, and if there’s anything that I can’t stand is for my momentum to end up in a lull.

I’ve heard news from the professional angle, which has been good news, just not the words I’ve been waiting to hear. That ended up being part of my problem as well, because I’ve been trying to be so patient for so long. It’s hard to learn that I might just have to wait that much longer. I’ll get that patience back, because there are worse things I can deal with.

So, I’ve decided to expand the team and have asked a friend to utilize her wood working skills to work on building sets, and get her into set designing. This is a prospect that excites my creative mind. I wonder how elaborate we can get the sets.

I’m excited that we’re taking a hike for Mother’s Day. It’ll be great to get them steps in, and it’s something different to do for the wife. A nice day to hike and picnic. I’m looking forward to doing this with the family.

As I set up my pedometer to twelve thousand, I found that it was hard to even reach that, so I went a head and went back to the ten thousand. It’s all finding the balance at the moment. I feel like I’m in a continual flux of trying to find that balance in life.

Not only with my weight loss journey, but other aspects too. I’ve done so much with the project, and getting back into being creative, there’s a balance that I’ve been trying to have. Family is also the other factor in my life. The give and take of being a family man sometimes also throws the balancing act off kilter.

I think that’s the key to balance, an even distribution between mind, body, and spirit. Every day, I find more and more balance with my body. The exercise has helped my body, not only do I move better, but I feel so much better. I think that it’s been helping me mentally, as I have to focus on something real, and the chemicals from working out, gives me that “high” of feeling good.

Spiritually…. that brings up something interesting. Jesus said, destroy this temple and I will raise it again in three days -John 2:19. I find this quote more interesting now than ever before. Temple’s a described as a person’s body in instances. Maybe with all the fat, and toxins that I’ve done to damage my temple, is finally being purged by my exercising. Could this be part of my where my spiritual being is being fixed up and rectified? I never really thought about it before.

Before I forget, I want to thank certain people for spreading the word for me. I’d like to thank the Bombshell Betties for following me on the various social medias. These ladies are apart of our local Roller Derby, and they seem to be very kick ass about their sport. I’ve been in contact with some of them, and have had talks about maybe doing some promotional work with them. Here’s their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/bombshell.betties.rollerderby/. Give them a look, like them, and tell them I sent ya.

I also want to send a huge shout out to my friend Sam Basco. He’s been working me out for over the last month. He’s a good friend, and wise in the ways of weight training and the sport of Mixed Martial Arts. He trains with fellow trainer Antoine Hood at Flawless Victory MMA. Here’s their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/FlawlessVictoryMma/. Also give them a like and tell them I sent ya.

Well, this would make the third day in a row for me blogging, and as always, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Life’s Too Short

Today, I found out that someone I have known for a few years passed away unexpectedly. We weren’t close, but we were cordial with each other, and I had just seen this individual on Wednesday. As of this morning, he’s no longer with us. It makes me think about how short life really is. I think about how we should live life to the best of our ability, and appreciate the positive things in life. We should also not dwell on the negativity that is put out there.

This is why I do what I do. I’ve been beaten down by negative comments and energies. I’ve felt like there wasn’t anyone to turn too, or any way out of a bad situation. Once I realized that life can offer more then I was giving credit for, things began to turn around.  We never know what the next day can bring for us, but I choose to face the day as best as I can and be grateful for the gifts that I’ve been given. I have a wonderful wife, and three of the greatest kids anyone can ask for.

That’s not to say that I don’t have my days that I wonder if it’s really all worth it, but everyone can have a bad day. Life’s a roller coaster that strange events can be thrown like a curve ball. Again, I choose to step up to bat and embrace the challenges ahead.

I’ve been making strides forward with my weight loss journey, and I’ll be weighing in this Friday for the updated results. This is defiantly a change from where I was three years ago, when I didn’t really care if I died. I almost embraced the idea, but I want to live. I want to celebrate life and the people who happen to be involved with it. I feel fortunate in the people that I’ve connected with over the last few years, especially.

I’m a member of the Society of Creative Anachronisms,  and I was welcomed in by my friend and fellow geek Kim. It was this introduction to medieval re-enactment that I’ve forged some strong bonds with a great group of people. I may not always agree with them, but there is a family that’s there to support each other.

I’m also a co-creator and member of The Geeks of the IWV. This was created in dedication to my friends after they had lost their oldest child. It was a way to help with the grieving process, but it’s opened so many other doors for me as a person, as I hope that it has my co-creator. I’ve learned so much about being able to bound with people over geeky pop culture subjects, and have been able to share incredible experiences, with the group of people that supports over 95 people.

As with this blog, these groups, and my brands, there’s so much that I’ve learned about myself over the last few years in particular. One, I have a passion to learn new things. While that doesn’t seem too far out there, it’s thought provoking for me to realize that I don’t ever want to stop learning, and growing. New experiences are the best.

Two, when set out to create something, I prefer to have someone to create something with. I find that I can put people’s talents to the most potential to get something done. This not only goes towards, the geeks, but we’ve had a great time with Luckey Bom Films, as well.

Three, I really do like to help others in need. Being a support for other people and their problems, or situations, has given me a different perspective in life. Sometimes, just the offer for help seems to be enough, yet there are times that I feel that I don’t ever do enough as it is. All anybody can do is try.

If these blogs have tried to show anybody something, is that I’m using my experience to try and help guild people towards something better. I know that people have troubles asking for help, and I want to help. I want to be able to motivate people to do something to help them with their struggles. I hope that you find this enlightening, and if you feel the need to talk, just reach out, I’m here. I’ll do my best to be there to listen.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

An Odd Thing Happened Today

After my training session yesterday, I was good to go for a good nights sleep. Sam, my trainer had me doing deadlifts and clean and jerks. I’d never done the latter, and I can say that the work out kicked my ass. So much so, that I was truly feeling it today. My legs are sore, and I wasn’t moving very well. I guess the job was well done, then.

I was called home from work because we had kids in the Emergency Room both yesterday, and today. So, being the father I am, I came to help with the kids. I feel bad that they are going through a rough patch this week, but at the same time, I’m not sorry that I took the day off to rest. It was an unexpected break, but greatly appreciated at the same time.

Getting back at the weight loss journey, I’ve set my steps up to 12,000 a day. It’s truly time for me to start stepping up my game, since I hit the loss of triple digits. So, I’m also going to be adding another day at the gym, just myself with out the trainer, but it’ll be good for me to invest in. I’m only close to the half-way point of being where I need to be on my total weight loss goal.

The one thing that does concern me about losing the weight, is the loose skin that I’ll have. I hope that it doesn’t become a problem, as my arms already have the wizard sleeve going on, and I kind of feel like Gandalf the Grey. I guess that I’ll cross that bridge as it gets closer.

Besides kids being sick, I’ve been made a where of some of my friends going through some rough patches in their lives, and I’ve offered up to help, as much as the moral guidance can. Sometimes I don’t think that it’s enough, but I always like to make it known that I’m available if they need to talk. It’s just one of the many services that The CK Project provides. Plus, we’re now dealing with merchandise, as we’ve gotten the first prototypes for shirts in yesterday. I will be revealing them in a video very soon, and now we’re looking to add it to athletic wear. It only makes sense, since it is about the weight loss journey.

It’s already hitting the ninety degree temps around here right now. It’s completely insane that it’s not even summer and the weather’s already here. So, be save, stay hydrated, and I’m gonna call this one a wrap.

4th Month Green Light.

So, today was a success at my four month check-up with the West Medical doctor. So, let’s get down to the status of were I’m at today. Keep in mind that I try to weigh in every two weeks besides the doctor’s visits, and since my last check up they say I’ve lost over nine pounds. The doctor was happy because I’m keeping consistent will my weight goals.

First, my weigh in was at 334 pounds exactly. That means I’ve lost 4.4 pounds since I weighed in during Wonder Con. That’s not bad since I seem to average between four and seven pounds every two weeks. I know that the weight is slowly starting to lose less and less, but if I keep up the work I’m doing, than I should be down at least a hundred pounds by my next weigh in, and so far, I’m probably the lowest weight that I’ve been in over ten years.

Another astonishing fact is the my BMI(Body Mass Index) is at 47.9. Before I started this whole thing, I was over a BMI of 61, and it’s noticeable by the clothing that I wear. Everything is just too big anymore, and I’ve had to get a size or two smaller. I’ve even dropped about ten pants sizes since December. I wouldn’t have dreamed that I would be able to drop more weight then my son is currently at.

This also brings me to the problem of me needing to buy a few uniforms at smaller sizes because, well, mine are just too big, and things are sliding off of my body. I’ve almost lost my pants several times, when walking or getting into a vehicle. I realize that I’ll have to bit the bullet on this one. Oh, well…

Today was a good day, as I made another purchase to help get my businesses pushed to the next level. It feels good to realize that I’ve taken my future serious. The things I want are set, and I’m doing everything I can to obtain them. It’s also great to have the direction that I need to get things accomplished.

The CK Project has already helped people start to make the change in their lives, and I hope that I’ll be able to use this experience to do motivational speaking engagements. It’s been a dream for years to get the message out on mental health and now physical health as well. I even plan on starting to work out with my son during the weekends. I think it might be good for him.

Well, I’m sure glad that the craziness from this weekend is over, and that I can finally relax, and enjoy being home for the next week. Next weekend is going to be handling things in town as we get ready to bring the production team together to discuss expansion(I know, I’ve mentioned it). I’ve got a great team with a chemistry that I look forward to infusing with more elements for a bigger reaction, and combination to get things done.

One more note, so The Geekultural Experience  is getting ready for it’s first broadcast tomorrow. We are going to be doing a show on Youtube that will be showing various comic shops and game stores that we’ve been too and recommend shopping at. I’ve already talked too a couple of owners in two different towns about this idea, and they are up for it. I can’t wait to introduce everyone to Otto, a game store owner in Bakersfield, and Roger, a comic book shop owner in Palmdale. These two are very good at their areas of expertise, and I’d be honored to help give them both more business if possible.

I wrote something on Facebook  last night, that I wanted to share. Think of it as a parting word for inspiration. Keep striving for growth. making the best version of yourself. That’s the best way to keep moving forward. I know that there are times that we feel a bit lost, shaken, self doubt…Remembering that we can always better ourselves, or strive to better ourselves gives us the chance to embrace the challenge to become something bigger than who we know ourselves to be. Some people thrive on competition, and who better than to compete with the one person who knows how to challenge us the most. The person who already knows all the tricks and dirty tactics that we would attempt to use to sabotage our success.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap!

Let’s Get It Started?

Okay, this has officially been a long week. It’s the beginning of April and we’re already hitting eighty degree weather. I call bullshit on that, as it just reminds me that we’re in for a horribly hot summer. This is why I hate that I have to be outside for ten hour shifts at work. That’s my biggest complain about the week though.

So, now we get to business, as my locations for where I work tend to change around, except the fact that my physical has kept me in one or two places for the last month or so. I’ve been making at least 7,000 steps a day while at work. The stairs are kind of a bitch, but at least it’s keeping me going, and I feel accomplished, even if I haven’t hit that many 10k steps this week, but I’ve  only been about 1,000 off most days.

The biggest thing about this week has been that I’m realizing that I’m going to have to give in and get new uniforms soon. The truth is, my current uniforms are starting to get too big for me. I guess that happens when I’ve lost close to a hundred pounds.

I went out of town today for some business, and when that got handled we decided to stop by a mall that has a Destination XL. The beautiful part is that I decided to try on a pair of shorts that has a forty-four waist. I haven’t worn that size in over a decade. It was still a bit tight, and I think that I’m going to hold off for another ten or so pounds before I invest in a pair, but it feels damn good to know that I’m about the size before my son was born.

The motivation is still strong, and I’m finding that I’m able to connect with more people because of this huge weight loss movement that I’ve undertaken. I like being there to motivate and help those who need the help. Even after all this time, I still feel amazed that I can be the inspiration that people need to change their lives. That is a powerful realization. What makes it more so, is the fact that I take that responsibility very serious.

The hardest part about taking that kind of responsibility, was that I wish that I had taken it so much more serious. I’ve seen people reach the point of no return, and it’s not just with weight, but depression issues as well. I wish I had not be blinded by my own internal turmoil because I feel that I should have been doing something so much sooner.

It’s been about two weekends since I last weighed in and tomorrow is my four month check-up. The family is excited to find out what the latest numbers are. I’m excited as well, but I’d be lying if the thought of plateauing didn’t bother me. I know that I’ve got a long way to go, but things have gone well so far. Once I start with my trainer next week. I don’t think that I’ll be so worried, it’ll be time to cut more of the fat, and faster.

Since the weather has gotten nicer, I’m going to start that hiking club that I was talking about in some of the blogs before. That’s exciting, and if things take off, I also have a CK Project shirt in the design stages, as well as a Luckey Bom Films  shirt. It’s a crazy concept, yet very exciting to know that I’m about to start bringing out merchandise for my creations. It’s surreal, yet it’s happening. I’m gonna have to thank my good friend at Sticky Prints for being willing to work with me. I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to how my “businesses” are going too be represented.

So much excitement is happening, and the production company’s about to have a meeting next week, to discuss expanding, and where we’re going to go for our next project. It feels good to feel accomplished, and I know that things are just starting… Just wait to see where we’re going to be in a year, in five years! Too much potential, and I love the team that I work with. I’ve been talking to a few more people about working with them. I think good things will come out of these connections that I’m making.

Any way, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap!

A Week Until Four Months

I have about a week until my four month check up. Damn what a ride this year has been already, as a matter of fact, my size forty-six waist size us getting too big for me. With that comes the fact that I’ve been so busy, and I’ll admit that I kind of slacked off this week. After the craziness of con weekend, I think I deserved a bit of rest. As I sit here, I’m thinking about a conversation I had with my friend Curtis, and the fact that I thought after school I would have a bit of time off for relaxation….

Relaxation, what a load of shit that turned out to be. Not that life going full force isn’t fun, I just thought that I’d have a bit of time to chill during the weekends. Looking at this weekend, it was nice to have a moment to enjoy and sleep in my own bed without doing much, and that was the point, but looking at the rest of the month I have one out of four weekends free, and then I’ve committed to spend time with some of the most awesome people and watch a movie. I’m looking forward to that, as some time to relax with good people.

Keeping busy at least keeps me active. Friday we head one direction for some business, and then on Saturday we have to head in the opposite direction for my four month check up. Plus I’m adding to my weekly routine with my personal trainer this week(hopefully). I have some freelance business to do. I have a conference call tomorrow, I’m excited to see how that is going to turn out.

I’m also busy with some overtime this month at the regular job, and realizing that I have to work the weekend of  Avengers: Infinity War isn’t exactly the thing I wanted on my plate. Especially since I’ve been eager for this movie for two years, but the next weekend will get my money for sure.

Let’s get back to the weight loss journey at hand, while I haven’t weighed myself this week, because of my appointment on Saturday, I feel like I’m down a few more pounds. I saw a friend this weekend, and she told me that I looked so different since the last time she saw me. Again, that’s always a great confidence boost.

It’s funny that the closer I get to being at the -100 pound mark, the more determined I feel about loosing the weight. I figured that over all I have to lose between 220-240 to be at the ultimate goal. As an adult, if I would have been asked, I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of it being a reality, but no shit, this is happening. I’m cranking up the motivation again this week as I’m going to be hitting those 10k steps several times over this week.

Again, this all depends on what all happens to me this week, as with having to get in a couple of hours in for late night overtime at some point, this week? Plus the freelance meetings that I have, then the traveling out of town for a couple of days. There really isn’t enough hours in the day anymore. Yet I will prevail!

One of the things I’ve been doing since graduation is that I’ve been job searching, and I’ve added blogger, and health and wellness to the experience. I love how life is giving me the experience that I need to be better in the professional world.

So, my advice for anyone who seems to be unmotivated or unsure of what they want to do, or where they want to be; all I can say is that it get easier. I remember that after I had my surgery, 10,000 steps seemed so hard to reach. As a matter of fact, I could barely get to 5,000. You’ve seen the stats, you’ve read about the journey. It gets easier, and once you figure that out. You’ll notice when you start to slack. Remember that the biggest trick to weight loss is the fact that it’s a mental game. Keep it there, because once you do. The physical part becomes so much easier. Remember the old cliche: Mind over matter. No shit! It’s true, and that’s the reason I’ve been so successful in this journey. The positivity, the motivation, all of it was my choice.

Reach inside yourself and find that which is going to motivate you. It took me to feel like I was almost dying to take control of my life, and there isn’t anything I regret by doing the surgery. At the same time, I’m not going to lie, it takes work. Sure the weight starts to melt off and you get this false sense of confidence that it’ll be a cake walk. I think that’s why there are those who still fail, even after the surgery, but get that mind right, and tell yourself that you are in control, and make procrastination your bitch. In the end, you’ll thank yourself for the determination.

For too long, I let my depression, keep hold of me. Taking the time to change the way I think was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Now I rarely have a bad day. Even those days, aren’t so bad. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Phase 2: What’s Next?

As I seem to finally be getting all my “ducks in a row”, I can’t help but think of the growth that this month has brought me. First, I’ve really started getting into the free lance thing, and I’m currently building my connections to work with other people in the future. I should be doing more videos soon, and not just for the film side of things, but I also think that it’s about time for the CK Project to start coming out with somethings too.

Which leads me to the second “duck”. I’ve been really pushing the weight loss part of the project since before my surgery, and I stand firm on how I’m moving forward. The walking will continue, even if I’ve slacked for a couple of days. After all I did walk over thirty-one miles over the convention weekend. I’m so close to the one hundred pound mark that I’ll be excited if that’s where I’ll be weighing in at my four month check up.

I have to keep mindful of slacking off, because getting back into old habits isn’t hard to do. Even my studying has tapered off. In my defense, this has been a crazy month, and I’m getting back on track for things(notice the blog coming out today). I have to keep going, because there are other’s looking up to me as a role model. It’s crazy to think that I would be where I am right now in my life. Good thing that I’m doing my best to be a positive beacon.

I was having a conversation with a friend today, and she told me that my motivation and positive energy has affected her, and that she’s been trying to do more for her family. I’m glad that I could help. That’s the turning point for me, when I decided that I wanted to help others and not just myself. That’s just part of the mental change for me.

Speaking of the mental change, I’m having more problems focusing at my current job, because there’s more passion in the other side in my life. I can’t wait to be dealing with that side full-time, and be able to get paid for it. I’m not trying to get rich by any means, but I know that I can do better than I have now, and I can support my family better. At this, I have moments that I feel my patience is wavering. Which another friend says that it seems like it would be common for my situation.

I think that losing the weight has also helped me mentally. Now I’m not so down on myself because I’m feeling trapped in my body. I’m actually feeling different, with the way I stand, my confidence(which on a side note, hasn’t really ever been a problem), and overall, I’m feeling better in health than I have in the last fifteen years.

I love how people are encouraging me, and telling me to keep it up. I kind of think that it’s funny that people would say that too me. This has been a lot of work, even with the surgery, don’t you think that I would want to keep it off. I’ve been fat most of my life, I’m ready for the time I’m not shaped like the Kool-aid man. Believe me, I’ve seen some people kind of stop doing what it takes to keep off the weight, and it isn’t worth it to me, in my book.

Finally, I’m getting my geek media started. The Geekultural Expereince. This was something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I never really had a name for it. The last name we had was Geek on Geek, but I realized that’s kind of over done, and I wanted something more unique, and why not. Geek, Culture, Experience; it just made sense to me. Look for the first pod cast this weekend, and we’ll be dropping it on Saturday, March thirty-first.

This was just a small update, and as always, this is the director and that’s a wrap.

Viva Las Graduation, I Lost Something….

Well, Friday I graduated from Los Angeles Film School and went to Las Vegas to celebrate with Sarah and my girl Echo. I’d like to share Friday’s ceremony though. It started at noon, and there was about three sets of groups that graduated. I was in the second group of Digital Filmmaking students. I want to say that we were one of the first groups that graduated from the online portion of the school.

The occasion was bitter sweet, but was made better by the fact that I was able to graduate with the most important people in my life; my parents, my children, Sarah, and Echo. We were able to take a few minutes and give a speech, so I thanked the people who came with me, and some of my production crew, and the school for being there for me in the time of need.

I still have more that I wanted to say: This is our time, this is the time that the industry is changing, and it’s our responsibility to usher in the new wave of equality, and bash out the corrupt power that takes advantage of the less powerful. Whatever color, creed, sexual orientation, we are equal, and that’s the way it should be. I’ve been blessed with a great group of people that I’ve been able to work with and meet. The network is just going to get bigger, and I can’t wait to work with the new friends that I’ve made on this journey, and share the ideas with like minds.

The ceremony ended around two o’clock, I said good-bye to the parents and kids. Then I took the ladies to Las Vegas…let me tell you something…going from Hollywood to Vegas really sucks ass. It turned out to be a seven plus hour drive, we got there closer to ten, and I was tired from driving. So, that shot any adventures on Friday, but Saturday was better, and we rushed to get a last bit done on Sunday, and still didn’t get home and done until eleven that night. What should have been a three and a half hour drive was pushed up by about two more hours by delays, and slow traffic. Alas, Sarah and I made it home safe, regardless of the bullshit traffic that happened.

I had to take care of a few medical things today, some of them for work, others for my next check up on my sleeve. I weighed myself today and I lost another 3.5 pounds. That brings my total down by 90.2 pounds, which was even better to know that 339.7. The incredible part is that in about five pounds, I’ll be at the lowest that I’ve been in five years. God, it will feel good to be down one hundred pounds.

I got in about 40k steps this weekend over all and Saturday was the most with 25,357. 1,616 calories were burned, and 11.19 miles were traveled that day. So, I think my total caloric intake was well below that. It was fun, and I just kept trucking along.

My next check up is on the seventh of April. I’ll be almost four months out, and life is still getting easier everyday. I felt like I had lost a few pounds, and I’m thinking that I’ll be at my lowest in five years by that check up. I’m more excited that I’ll be doing great next weekend when we go to Wonder Con. I’m going to have to buy some more clothes soon, and they’ll be smaller. I think one hundred pounds is crazy, I’ve already lost, about the weight of my son. It almost feels unreal, when I contemplate it.

As I’m looking forward to geeking out next weekend, I’m keeping an open eye to figure out how I can become a professional at these conventions, as this is one of the many things I plan on doing. I know that separating the various aspects of my life is going to organize things better, but it also seems that I have to dedicate more time to each of those things to keep them going.

On a final note, the free lance work is great, and now being in charge of my client’s social media is giving me experience that can be applied to other jobs as well. I’ll share more about this undertaking as it develops more. It’s already put me in contact with industry professionals that I’m going to be learning from their experience, and it will help me become a more rounded person.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Phase Two And A Growth Spurt

A continuation of the last blog…ish: Man what a weekend this turned out to be. As I mentioned visiting the campus of the Los Angeles Film School, I learned a lot from that visit, and I’ve been trying to apply it ever since. So far, my film resume has been updated, though I’m still waiting to hear what my advisor has to say on that, and I updated my LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christopher-keeling-b57a7313a, just in case…you know if you want to check it out, maybe try and make a professional connection.

Saturday is the day that most of you have come to follow because, of my weight loss journey, well I lost another 2.3 pounds which brings my weight too 343.2 with a total loss of 86.7 pounds of fatty tissue. I’m so close to getting to that one hundred pound mark, and I’ll be there before you know it. Which also brings me to another bit of good news. I can fully workout again. My gastric doctor said that I can get into full workout mode, which I’m working with a friend, who’s going to become my trainer. This is someone I’ve known a long time, and I have faith will kick start my metabolism even faster. I look forward to that challenge.

So, let’ move forward to Sunday’s adventure. I’ve been working with this older gentleman named Philip Weinstein, he’s eighty-one, and has had a life as a producer and lighting guy in Hollywood. I was introduced to him by way of my friend and former drama teacher Janis. Philip has spirit, and at the age of eighty-one has decided that he wants to be a boxer. He’s considered the oldest un-ranked amateur boxer in the United States. He’s got personality for sure.

So, through him, I’ve gotten to meet and get to know his coach Antoine Hood, who’s also a nice guy, who looks like Luke Cage, and most defiantly can kick ass like Luke Cage. Antoine and my trainer friend Sam work together, and that’s kind of how the circle of reacquainting with old friends took place, but before I lose track. Philip has hired me not only to be his videographer, but his social media presence.

It’s funny how my love of acting has brought me to the point of wanting to direct, and that it would lead me to my first paying client. Where I find myself even more lucky is the fact that I’m teaching Philip about modern filmmaking, and he in turn is teaching me about living in the business itself. He’s also a stanch supporter of the CK Project and tells me that he’s happy to see me take my life in a more positive direction.

Is it weird that my first paying client would also become a mentor to me? He’s a great guy, and the experience that I’m gaining is valuable, and his shared knowledge is also worth every minute he’s teaching me something. I wonder what will happen when I start my next free lance project, where that will take me…

So, phase two has really started to lift off the ground, and with so much coming towards me all at once, I’ve not even had a chance to think of where everything is taking me, but I do know that it’s somewhere good. I just feel bad that I can’t seem to carry on a very good conversation through text, because I’m so buy. I know that as March will come to an end, that life might find a bit of normalcy, or maybe this is the new normal. Either way, I’m not complaining. It keeps me busy, and then I don’t even have anytime to be depressed, even though that hasn’t been an issue for a while.

My weight, my health, both physically and mentally, and my life is really starting to line up, and I’m proud of the evolution that my growth has taken, and as I get ready to leave the Film student life behind as I become an alumni, I’m gaining the right tools at the right time, and I’m going to continue to work hard so that I can get the big pay off in the end.

My best friend will be down here from the state of Minnesota in a couple of days. I’m excited because she’s one of the few people who’s been there through the tough times for me. I’m glad that she could be here as I walk down the isle because graduating is an accomplishment. Life is going to get better, day by day. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.