Break On Through Past The Plateau Side

Well, I weighed-in Tuesday. I know that I’ve been saying that I’ve been scared to see if I would end up with another weigh-in saying 293. something, but I did it, and I’m glad to report that I moved down another two pounds. I’m down to 291.3 with 138.6 total loss so far.

When the numbers go down on the scale, it’s always a good feeling, and this time it seemed bitter sweet. I realize that it’s not the fantastic numbers that I used to get, but it’s still a hell of a win in my book.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Not only that, but Sarah finally had her appointment to see the doctor, and we now have an idea of what it is she’s going through. Crohn’s disease, while not the best news about her health, I had a feeling that was what it probably was, and now we can take the steps forward to treating it. I feel that the rough patch may finally be over.

So in the morning, I will be going in for my eleven month check-up for my weight loss surgery. I can’t believe that it’s been almost a year since I did this thing. It’s crazier to think about how much my life has changed since then. Both physically and mentally, I am in the best spot that I’ve ever been. A journey that will never be regretted.

Stepping up the intensity of my workouts, and getting more consistent steps in for my days is helping me go down in more weight. As of tonight, I’ve done five days of ten thousand steps plus, so I’m feeling really accomplished, and I’m going to try and get at least eight days in a row by the time I’m done.

Now I’m also working on some aspects of my life so that we can really get the brands up and making money. I’m not looking to make a whole lot of money right away, but it would be nice to be able to add at least a couple hundred bucks a month to help invest in other areas in my life.

With that being said, I’m looking to offer other services, as in links to products and services that I would probably support. We’re still in the investigative stages of getting our merchandise off the ground. So the adventure of finding several other avenues of income to help get the dream going is taking some focus currently.  I’m also looking into starting a Patreon for my followers. The marketing part of this business thing gets to be one of the more difficult parts to do.

Thank God that I have my creative side. That seems to be the one thing that seems to make sense in my life. The rest of it is needed to help me get the various projects funded so that I can bring out the highest quality work that I can give everybody.

I’ll update everyone on the results of tomorrow, and this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Keeping It Up.

It’s still amazing that I’m feeling so positive with everything going on. Another good week of workouts. Even if it’s three days instead of four.

My second session with Sam for the week got pushed back until five o’ clock on Friday. The workout was good and destroyed my legs. They got to the point where I thought they were going to give out as I was going to do bend over rows. It took me a few minutes before I could convince myself that I could do it.

I ended up being busy on Saturday, but I was still able to get over ten thousand steps in. I struggled due to my legs still being fatigued. There was a few times I thought not legs were going to give out, not to mention strong up on higher ground. I was glad that I could enjoy doing activities with the family that day.

Sunday was the day that I took my son with me to get some gym time in. We started with some cardio, and because my legs were still a bit sore, I wasn’t about that part of the exercise very long. Though we did get down and did weights. We tend to concentrate a bit more on the upper body when we go, and I’m one to focus a bit more on chest and arms when we go. I think that the hardest part about going to the gym and teaching him proper form is that he’s autistic, and has a learning disability. There’s some difficulty communicating how to do things completely the right way. It is getting better though. I just have to take a bit more time to get him to understand my instructions.

After our workout, our tradition, because autistic kids like routine, we go and get ourselves a protein drink afterwards. This is one of those things that I’m happy that we can bond over. We talk about the workout we just did, and how the protein helps to work on the muscles of the body.

It’s good that I’m getting into a routine that pushes my exercise. Being stuck on a plateau, not only has frustrated me, but I’ve been hesitant about getting back on the scale. Yes, there’s always been that fear of failing, but going in the opposite direction would scare me a bit. I will be going in and doing a weigh-in tomorrow, because I have to see where I am.

This whole ordeal comes down to the fact that this is a mental game. In the end I know that I’ve got this, yet I find myself at a difficult point to convince myself that I do know this. It’s funny to think that everyone is their own worst enemy. It’s a bit cliche, but unfortunately true. We tend to get in our own way for success. I just got to convince myself that everything will be okay.

Also, it’s crazy to see that it’s the end of October, and that I’m in the last part of the one year anniversary of my weight loss surgery. Among the many things that have gone on this past year, I still find it amazing that this decision has taken me on a journey that I wouldn’t have expected before I ever considered it. So much of it has been about self discovery. So much has just started making more sense to where I was and why I was where I was in life. It’s amazing with the realization of how linked the mind and body are. It sometimes feels as if I was reborn, and that I’m learning everything new.

Life is crazy, and there’s no real definition for normal. My life happens to deal with all sorts of random craziness, and there is where I find the strength. I think that is probably most people’s lives, with the random craziness, “the cards that life deals”. It’s how we approach those “cards” and handle it. Sometimes, people need some guidance in how to deal with those “cards”.

My “cards” just happen to deal with weight issues, depression, youth anxiety, autism, and a few other things that could end up pushing someone to the limit. I saw a professional to help me deal with the depression, and the surgery was something that helped me deal with the weight issues. It’s just sometimes I need to be reminded that I can get the rest handled in due time. I’ve learned so much from those “cards”, and I continue to learn how to play my hand.

The biggest thing to remember is that I can survive, and I have, and I will continue. Sometimes I just need to refocus and keep going in the right direction. Remember that, even you will get through it, even if it looks bleak at the moment, you can survive as well. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

The Four Day Feel Good

Last weekend was great. Everything turned out to be just the right vibe to put me in a better mood. I made my personal training sessions last week, and did both days of the weekend at the gym.

I’m glad that I’m setting things right in life. It gets hard when everything in life starts to feel like it’s trying to go against you. With the plateau, and family health, I hadn’t been feeling positive and slightly depressed.

(A continuation, because I started this post earlier in the week)

I should totally say that while I’m getting more motivated, my video game addiction gets heavy this time of hear because of all the good games coming out, like Spider-man for the PS4, WWE 2k19, Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, and Red Dead Redemption 2. Though that’s for a totally different thing that I do.

However, I also hit my personal training days this week, I’m planing on weighing in on Sunday, because I’ve been discouraged by the scale as of the last month. I also plan on going to the gym both days this weekend, and take the boy with me. I was happy to take him last weekend and see what he could do. He does get better, I just know that it’s going to take awhile for him to get that proper form going.

I should say that my running has gotten better than I expected. I can run a five-point-six on the treadmill for two minutes. I’ve also done a six-point-zero for a minute, so that I know that I’ll get better. It helps going to the things that I’m trying to accomplish in my professional and personal life.

On a bright note about myself being happy, is that I’ve been writing one of my screen plays again, and it’s putting me in the feel good mood that I’ve been missing. It’s really amazing how much the mind and the body seem to mirror each other, and I’m constantly amazed by the self-awareness that I’ve been gaining through out this whole process.

Part of the process is that I’m starting to put more focus on my brands again because, it helps me feel better. Sometimes it seems strange, but staying busy doesn’t leave too much room for negative thoughts. Besides, I’m building something, and making it tangible. It’s amazing to see the feeling of accomplishment. I’m trying to make a positive impact on my children’s lives as we build something for the betterment of the family.

I showed the kids that you could accomplish anything you put your mind too, through dedication and hard work. I busted my ass to get through school, and I noticed that I have a passion when I talk about the whole process of filmmaking. I sometimes think that I tend to bite of too much more than I can handle since I’m taking myself in several different directions all at one time. Time to refocus and get that work flow going again.

If you like the things I saw, and want to follow more closely to the CK Project, than you can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ckproject97/. It’s a bit of promotion, I know, but it’s another way you can follow my life, and the craziness that can happen. Plus you can PM me on there and we can start up a conversation if you, the reader, have questions.

I can never say enough of how much I’m enjoying the journey to better health, and I’m continually growing as a person. I’m gaining a warrior’s spirit, and the biggest success story of my life, is that fact that I’m still here, among the living, and I didn’t let suicidal tendencies get the best of me. I’m a survivor, and there is nothing anyone can do to take away those accomplishments.

Before I call this a wrap, I want to mention that by the end of the year, my team and I will be coming out with a few different pod casts that will cover various subjects, such as battling depression, inspirational motivation about self-care, and my other brands will be coming out with some pretty sweet stuff. So, if you like my writing, like my blog. If you love it, then please share, let’s boost the message I’ve been trying to get out. With that, this is the director and that’s a wrap.

Hitting A Bump In The Road

Today has been a day for many things. The first of such is my eighteenth year with my wife. Eighteen years ago we went out on our first date, and we’ve been together ever since. Today was also my weigh-in day, and I came in at 293.7. I hit a plateau and I felt really discouraged today.

It’s frustrating because I’ve been getting my steps in, as in I’m getting in 10,000 plus steps most days for the last few weeks, and I’ve been trying to get running in. I’m doing pretty good when I run, and I’m trying to get somewhere with work, so I’m trying to pass my physical test so that I can get a promotion at work.

I know that I’ll eventually pass this plateau, but it’s discouraging that after nine months, that I finally hit this mark. Yes, I’m aware that it happens to everyone, just not the greatest news. I might have to just ride this temporary stop on the journey. I’ll just have to keep going and not get discouraged enough to want to stop. Over all, I feel great, and I like when I work out. I’m just not sure if I should do a pouch reset or not yet.

Also, today is my eighteenth anniversary from my first date with my wife Sarah. I guess that means our relationship can vote now. For most of our relationship, we’ve been the youngest couple, but we’ve also seemed like the couple that been married the longest. It’s amazing how people have looked to us for advice in being married.

Every year, when something like this comes up, I never fail to mention that we’ve had our ups and downs. That’s no different than any other couple, and if somebody told you different, I’m sure they’re just trying to sell you something. The single biggest thing I think I’ve learned is that it gets easier the longer we’re together. Communication is key, and I’m going to repeat, and underline that. Communication is key!!!

I’ve observed that some of the couples I’ve known have split, and I’ve also noticed that lack of communication was the biggest part of that. If you want to succeed, please learn to communicate with your partner. The lack of communication was what almost brought  the down fall of my relationship. Once we were being more honest about our feelings, it helped us overcome some of the bigger issues that plagued our relationship.

The last five years have been an incredible journey with so much growth for myself, that I’ve find myself far humbled than I had ever been before. Now I find another challenge in front of me as we are dealing with Sarah having health problems. I find it difficult to have the words to say or reactions needed to comfort her as she’s started to develop depression.

It’s one thing when I’ve been dealing with it my whole life, but it’s another level when you have to start dealing with it as you get older. There’s frustration, confusion, and fear because you don’t get why these things are happening. I suppose that I could say that things will get better, but until things are answered about what is wrong, I can’t say that honestly, because there’s too many unknowns. The only thing I can guarantee is that I’m here to support her no matter what. I think that helps. but I haven’t been feeling very helpful towards her lately.

Trying is the best anybody can do. I can understand why people might turn away during these trying times. It’s a fear of losing those we love, and not wanting to have that level of grief in our lives. Yet, it isn’t far to those who are physically suffering from those ailments, and honestly, it’s a dick move.

This is just another challenge in the life we live and it won’t break us. I won’t allow it to break me, especially since I’ve come so far, and even if things haven’t taken off the way I would like them too, I’m not going to let things bring me down. There are better things coming in the future and I can’t wait to see where this journey and growth takes me.

Happy anniversary to my beautiful wife, as we’ll spend as many days as this life will give us. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

 

Becoming Something More

I was at my personal training session yesterday. I worked out hard, and pushed myself. As I was walking home, I started to contemplate why I would submit myself to the torture of exercise. There’s times that lazy sounds so much easier and better. There are things that I fight with myself to keep going. I push through the burn, and sometimes it makes me feel nauseous. I find the fat person that I was for so long telling me that I can’t do it…that I should just give up.

Ghosts of the past, that’s what that all is. I’ve spent most of my life being weak. Not just physically, but mentally, spiritually. I never really stood up for myself until I had been pushed over the edge.  Somewhere along the way, I finally had enough of just the skating by in life. After not being there to stand up for myself. I felt trapped in a situation that I didn’t know the way out. I was desperate and I had a strong fight or flight moment. If you’ve been paying attention, then you know I was all about the latter.

The way I resolved to flight was either by running away, or by suicide. I came very close to doing both. Emotionally, I had to find a way to escape the world that I was dealing with. I was tired of getting pushed around…then I did something drastic…

As I had time to contemplate my life, I still wasn’t dealing with the problems at hand. Instead, I was drowning my time in playing video games so that I didn’t have to deal with the world. When I finally got a reality check that I was going to lose my livelihood, I started to make those changes, and prepare for life in a different way. That was the moment that I decided to invest in myself. I decided to go to school, and do something that I was actually interested in, and not just the safe thing. I’m not doing the thing that everyone else says I should. I found myself, and my inner strength.

That was the first step in finding my mental sanity. It’s a struggle when you feel like the worst person in the world, and that you deserve to die because of it, but this was the first step to recovery. From there, as things started to hit some sort of normalcy. I had to make the decision to get my physical health better. Even after the first step, I really didn’t care if I died or not.

It took me a bit longer, but I finally found the courage to do something, and I went and decided to have the weight loss surgery. Eight months after the fact, and I don’t have regrets… There are days that I struggle still, and I’ve had a few bouts of depression and self doubt. It’s getting better, and I’m accomplishing things that I never thought I would.

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Walking home from my #personaltraining session with Sam Basco. It was a great work out, but sometimes I wonder why I put myself though the physical suffering. Then I remember where I’ve been and I’m now under 300 lbs. I’m a survivor, and I’m becoming a warrior. I’m going to continue until I’m the best version of me. #GastricSleeve#PostOp#WeightLossJourney#walkingmyassoff#personaltraining #10klife#flawlessvictorymma

For the first time in eighteen years, I’m under 300 pounds. I’ve seen my worst, and I don’t ever plan on getting back there. The truth is, I’ve been a survivor my whole life, even without actually thinking about it. With the help of my friend Sam, I’m starting to find that warrior inside, and I like that. I want to be stronger, and I need to keep going. I want to be the best version of myself. Not only for me, but for those around me. I plan on being an example, and I need to be a person of strong character for it.

From this day forth, I’m going to be a warrior that fights to help people who struggle through depression, and other mental health issues. I’m going to help fight people who feel stuck and helpless. I’m thankful for the people who I have around me. I have the best support system in the world that allows me to be stronger than I am at times. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

The Onion That Makes You Cry

Being silent the past few days, I was trying to figure out where to go with everything that I wanted to say. I’ve been dealing with some personal creative slumps, and last week wasn’t my most motivated of weeks for working out either. Bare with me as I figure this all out as I write….

Last week, had some very good things that happened. After Super Hero Shirt Day, I was able to finish off my work week, decently. I like my new shift, and the crew seems to be great. I like the personalities that have come together. The hours are still being adjusted too, as I still will wake up several time a night because no alarm.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I was unable to meet with my personal trainer at all last week. So, going to the gym kind of ended up not being part of the picture for me. Though I did get to take a hike on Sunday, but more on that in a bit.

The biggest part of my week, and/or weekend was that we filmed The Reunion. I want to thank Rodney Connors for coming in and working on another project with me. I’ve enjoyed all the time that we’ve worked together over the past several years. He’s become a good friend, and a I appreciate the energy he brings to set with him. Also, Adam McGee, a new face that I never worked with before, but he’s a hell of an actor, and someone I look forward to working with in various other areas. The work these two did was amazing, and made the day go by so much easier.

The crew came together for another shoot, and I’m grateful that I have this team of amazing people to help me out. Celeste Joy, my cinematographer, thank you for everything, because of your experience, you teach me, and I love how well we work together. Thank you for also teaching Little Chris some of the camera work, he loves it. Sarah, my wife, does every promotional thing, sets up the casting calls, researches, etc.. My thanks will never be enough to show you how much you are the reason for my success in everything I do. Movies, weight loss, name it, and she’s probably the one heavily involved with the process.

Alisa Wiggin, my make-up artist, co-set designer, and friend. Thank you for making the actors and set look good. It helps to bring life to the screen. Plus, we had a new sound person on set, Chris Matthews. I’m glad you were able to come in and enjoyed yourself. That’s why do what we do, because it’s fun. I look forward to many more projects together.

So now the first official post school project is in the post production, I should go back to what this blogs mostly about, and that’s the weight loss journey.

Outside of my lack of working out, I did happen to make my steps yesterday.38600730_2131343093787954_6965737394133794816_o

We went up north to the town of Independence, and found a hiking trail called Onion Valley. We went up there with my friend Jenn Miller, whom I’ve known just about as long as I’ve lived in Ridgecrest. I’ve probably known her a bit longer as her mom and my mom used to work together at the Toys R Us  in Rapid City, South Dakota. It was fun, it was a bit of a challenge. We all got sunburned, but it was totally worth it, and I can’t wait to do more adventures like that.

Through all of this journey, I’m going to confess that the last few years have been amazing. The CK Project just turned seven years old this year, and over the last couple of years has really started to take off. After all, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Being as that may, when I started the project, it was more about accountability. It was my way of holding my weight loss, and myself accountable and hopefully show people the progress I was making. It’s become more of a Chris Keeling, showing who he his, and hopefully inspiring someone to make better choices, or to let people know that other people might be going through the same things, and that it might help guide them to not feeling so alone.

I have insecurities like others, and I’m not afraid to show that it’s very real. I think this is the most exposed that I’ve ever been, and it’s been the best choice that I’ve ever made. I’m the project, I’m finding the strength to fix what needs to be fixed for myself. I’ve also helped others find something in themselves to be better. This is all apart of what I love. Deeper connections with my fellow travelers in this world.

I’ve been spiritually, mentally, and physically weak. I’m in touch with people who have helped and are continually helping me too find the warrior inside myself. True confidence is replacing ego, and I generally seem to treat myself and others better because of it.

Saturday I go see my doctors for my eighth month check up. It’s going to be down in Tarzana, where I had my surgery. My young one’s have never been and are excited to see the place where it all happened. We’ll do a bit of exploring while we’re there, and it’ll be a good time.

Thank you for coming with me through this amazing voyage so far. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Struck By Motivation

So, I decided that I was going to make my 10,000 steps today. My current total is 13,054 steps for the day. Which means I’ve traveled 5.8 miles and burned 772 Calories. Not bad for a Tuesday. The one thing that I noticed today is that I’m feeling a slight pull in the back on my right hamstring. I think that I need to stretch it out, and I hope that helps.

With life going at such a fast pace, I’ve felt that I had a few weeks of lost motivation. I know that it’s a normal response to lose motivation. You can’t always go 100% all the time without a bit of fatigue. I was there creatively as well, but I’m finding that extra motivation to continue to work on that as well. The lack of motivation was just a phase, but it was a habit that I had been comfortable with for a long time.

As I sit here and write this, I think about how I would come home and just play video games, or watch television. I don’t really do those things like I used too. It’s funny to reflect on how I was at this time last year, and to see where I am mentally now. I like to create, that’s something I’ve been a fan of most of my life. Music, stories, poetry, I’ve always had a hand in something creative. Maybe that’s why I’m coming into a place in my life where I’m feeling fulfilled with the things that I work on.

My team should have some stories out that we can look at shooting, and I’m excited to see where this newly formed machine is going to take us. While it’s true that I’ve worked with almost everyone in some form, the relationship of this team is still relatively new. This both excites me, and makes me nervous, because I want this to succeed.

It’s not just that I want the production company to succeed, I want this team to prosper as well. Sometimes I start to fear that ego might get in the way, and that is something I’m trying to avoid. I have enough self-doubt that crosses my mind every so often. Yes, I know that my depression tries to sabotage me, and I have to get reassurance that everything is okay. I guess that’s the emotional side of me. I do try and keep it in check though, and I hate when the creative process seems to be hindered. At least what we’ve done so far, has helped put the team on a better level of understanding.

I know one of the projects that I need to start is to work on an outline for The CK Project. With me down over 110 pounds, I think that we need to start documenting the rest of the transformation, and get some motivational words on video. It’s an idea, that I’ve had, and I did a few small videos before the surgery. The only after surgery videos have come out on Facebook and Snapchat. Part of the goal is to impliment them more as well.

 I’m finding success documenting the weight loss journey through Instagram, and I’ve made several contacts with others on this journey through social media. These people have my full support, and those who I’ve talked too in the real world are getting behind The CK Project. As soon as I get the next prototype for the shirt, if I like it, I’ll be getting them availible to the public, and I know my trainer, Sam Basco, is one of the first customers.

Speaking of Sam, I took my kids too one on his youth grappling classes yesterday, and they seemed to enjoy themselves. I get such a joy watching my children do new things and have fun with social interaction. I find a fasination and pride watching them try their hardest. I think that’s how most parent’s are. I look forward to seeing where my family’s relationship with Flawless Victory MMA  is going to go. The coaches are great, and very supportive in the growth of physical health and the MMA profession.

Sam is also going to help my wife rehab her arm, and get both strength and range of motion back into it. We spent several hours in the emergancy room, just to get meds, and no real examination. I feel that it’s kind of frustrating, when you would expect a medical professional to take the time to examine the problem, but instead say that it’s common, give us a perscription, and send us on our way. That was a huge waste of five hours of our time, but at least she did get something to help.

Professionally, I think that this or next week, I’ll start hearing from the moves that I’m trying to make. I’m really excited about this because, I’m ready to move on and grow into new things(That is why I went to school). I’m trying to keep positive about everything, and while I’ve faultered at times, I do think that the pay off’s going to be big, and I’ve got an eye in three different places for the same kind of job.

Anyway, things are really looking up. I had a rough moment this weekend, but feel better as my point was made. I just need to learn to control the emotions behind it a bit better. So, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

As It Keeps Going Down

So, I went and weighed in on Friday, and I had lost about three and a half pounds. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t the best I’ve had for a weight loss, but it was a loss non the less. I attribute it too the fact that I’ve slacked a bit on my walking. Now that I’ve been put back on a regular rotation for work again. I’ve kind of used that as an excuse not to push the steps.

I’m not going to use that as an excuse anymore, because my weight total was 318.1. I’m eighteen pounds away from the 300 mark.   I need to keep the momentum up so that I can get past this leg of my journey. 2000 was the last time I was below that number, and I look forward to getting to that point.

My fat has been getting smaller, and my belly doesn’t hang anywhere like it used to. It’s crazy that I feel different. For an example…I’m starting to feel something more like muscle instead of fat in certain areas, or I should say a fatty clump like I used too. Yeah, I still feel and look like I’m misshapen, but looking at where I was at this time last year is incredible with the transformation.

Not only is the weight loss journey, but creatively things are picking up. We had our second production meeting, and it was nice to add to the creative team. They will also be good members to have on set, as running a production always help to have more people to help set up the scene and lighting. I can’t wait until we get into the creative stride so that we can keep producing fresh content.

I’m trying to find a script writing program that suites my needs, as Adobe Story has seemed to stop working as smoothly as it had been. I need a program that would help with other reports as well. Camera set-ups, cast and crew, and the like. I’m looking at one called  Celtx, and it seems to be one that I can use, it’s just a bit pricey. Who ever said running your own business was going to be cheap?

This weekend, dealing with these issues I had, was a bit of a challenge. The plus side is, I survived and I will be at work tomorrow. The fact that the kids have two weeks of school left, that’s a thought that I’m finding crazy. I mean where the hell did this year go already. We’re almost half done.

I am however looking forward to having a four day weekend starting next Friday. I know that we’ll be watching Solo(2018) to start the weekend. Four days off will be nice, and I’m sure I’ll get some great hiking in, and at least four days of 10k steps at least.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Water To Make It Grow

There was an idea. A minuscule thought that I decided I couldn’t just let go. So, I took that thought, and I decided to plant it. I needed a way to make this tiny thought grow. I needed to nurture it. I had to wait to see the buds come out of the soil. I was kind of scared to think about how it would look, if that bud would be worth it, and yet I needed to see if I could turn it into a flower. Then the thoughts of would it be good enough to bare fruit. I just wasn’t sure, if I was the right gardener.

The idea was to better myself, and I spent about a year thinking about it. Hell, I don’t even think that I thought too much on it, but that I wanted to just shut everything off. I didn’t want to deal with what life had given me at that time. I just wanted to feel numb. I wasn’t ready to grow yet.

When I had found out that change needed to happen, that’s when the idea started to form. I wasn’t quite ready for it to grow, but it was starting. When I decided to plant it, I made one of the most grown up decisions of my life: I would go back to school. I was tired of the wasteland that had become my life. I was tired of feeling trapped in a barren land where nothing was seemingly providing me with more than an unknown thirst. I couldn’t find a way to hydrate my soul, and I became desperate to quench that thirst. I just didn’t know how, or what I could do to change that feeling.

All I had known was that I needed something drastic to happen, and that came in the form of three words, “What’s up, bitches?” This would provide me with the time I needed to find the help and the watering trough that I would need to refresh myself. It’s funny to look back on that moment and realize that from a professional standpoint, “what’s up, bitches,” would be my legacy. Little did I realize that my life would take a drastic turn, and push me in ways I hadn’t expected.

As the seed was in the ground, I needed to water it, and school was the start of the fountain that would turn the seed into a bud. As I would go along, that fountain would also help that bud grow into a tree. This tree would bare the sweetest fruit that I had ever had in my life. I would become satisfied with a full belly, and the thirst would disappear.

As that tree started to grow almost four years ago. So would my life, and how funny that I would compare a tree to my life, as often that is the symbol of life. As a seed, my life was in shambles, I was ready to die, and I didn’t have my shit together. As, the process of education and going back to work happened, the tree grew bigger, and my life started to find the proper direction. Life had started to root into a solid foundation.

I wouldn’t have imagine that the fruit would end up being goals that I had never expected to accomplish. The CK Project was a seed that had died out when my life had become that barren wasteland. I had always wanted my own production company, when I was younger I always imagined that I’d be producing music, and movies, along with acting hadn’t ever been apart of that picture. Yet Luckey Bom Films would end up being the first fruit, and after consideration. The health and wellness part would become the second fruit.

Besides the Geekultural Experience the biggest blossom from the tree has been the drive that I never knew I had. This is where the gardening takes place, as I try to bare more fruit for my labors. So, now I’ve had time to see where my potential is taking me. I continue to grow, and the fruit keeps getting bigger and better. Life is turning into Eden for me, and I love it.

One year ago today, I had my first sleep study. It would lead me to this moment where I’m over one hundred pounds lighter, and my life expectancy has gotten longer. I’ve grown as a man, and I couldn’t be any more grateful for the support that I constantly get. The Facebook likes and comments, the Instagram likes, the Twitter comments. It all goes to validate what I’ve been trying to accomplish, and with the inspiration that people have told me that get from me, shows that I’m helping harvesting more gardens, and I hope that people can get what they are in return looking for.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

Thoughts

The heat has been in the high ninety range this week, and my spirit felt drained today. I even thought about not going to my personal training session because of it. Though, I’m glad that I went, even if I felt that I could push that 100%, I still tried to give it that 100%.

After the mental mess of the last couple of days, I’ve been able to regain my composure, and everything seems to be going right again. Creatively, I wasn’t aligned, and that dragged me down. Also, life seemed to be holding still, and if there’s anything that I can’t stand is for my momentum to end up in a lull.

I’ve heard news from the professional angle, which has been good news, just not the words I’ve been waiting to hear. That ended up being part of my problem as well, because I’ve been trying to be so patient for so long. It’s hard to learn that I might just have to wait that much longer. I’ll get that patience back, because there are worse things I can deal with.

So, I’ve decided to expand the team and have asked a friend to utilize her wood working skills to work on building sets, and get her into set designing. This is a prospect that excites my creative mind. I wonder how elaborate we can get the sets.

I’m excited that we’re taking a hike for Mother’s Day. It’ll be great to get them steps in, and it’s something different to do for the wife. A nice day to hike and picnic. I’m looking forward to doing this with the family.

As I set up my pedometer to twelve thousand, I found that it was hard to even reach that, so I went a head and went back to the ten thousand. It’s all finding the balance at the moment. I feel like I’m in a continual flux of trying to find that balance in life.

Not only with my weight loss journey, but other aspects too. I’ve done so much with the project, and getting back into being creative, there’s a balance that I’ve been trying to have. Family is also the other factor in my life. The give and take of being a family man sometimes also throws the balancing act off kilter.

I think that’s the key to balance, an even distribution between mind, body, and spirit. Every day, I find more and more balance with my body. The exercise has helped my body, not only do I move better, but I feel so much better. I think that it’s been helping me mentally, as I have to focus on something real, and the chemicals from working out, gives me that “high” of feeling good.

Spiritually…. that brings up something interesting. Jesus said, destroy this temple and I will raise it again in three days -John 2:19. I find this quote more interesting now than ever before. Temple’s a described as a person’s body in instances. Maybe with all the fat, and toxins that I’ve done to damage my temple, is finally being purged by my exercising. Could this be part of my where my spiritual being is being fixed up and rectified? I never really thought about it before.

Before I forget, I want to thank certain people for spreading the word for me. I’d like to thank the Bombshell Betties for following me on the various social medias. These ladies are apart of our local Roller Derby, and they seem to be very kick ass about their sport. I’ve been in contact with some of them, and have had talks about maybe doing some promotional work with them. Here’s their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/bombshell.betties.rollerderby/. Give them a look, like them, and tell them I sent ya.

I also want to send a huge shout out to my friend Sam Basco. He’s been working me out for over the last month. He’s a good friend, and wise in the ways of weight training and the sport of Mixed Martial Arts. He trains with fellow trainer Antoine Hood at Flawless Victory MMA. Here’s their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/FlawlessVictoryMma/. Also give them a like and tell them I sent ya.

Well, this would make the third day in a row for me blogging, and as always, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.