Just Wow

As the year ends, I’m trying to keep the positivity up. It’s not always easy, because there was loss this year. Loss, that affected me personally. I’ve been in a strange state, and I’m not sure how I should be feeling. I know that I stated such in my last blog that talked about the death of my ex-wife due to Covid-19, but I think that it’s better that way. So, why would I title the blog Just Wow?

Dealing with loss, and a pandemic, plush some professional issues, has me shaking my head about so much in terms with the way life has been going. So, I’m trying to maintain my head up. It’s not always easy to do. I just know that I’ve been in a spot where people notice that I’m not my usual self. I feel okay over all, I just think that I’m considering the choices that are being put in front of me, and some of them are scary, because of the unknown that comes with it.

I’m in a place that I’ve been considering where I want to take the brands. I’m not going to get rid of them, I’ve actually been thinking of turning this into my full-time profession, and giving the whole entrepreneurial thing a real go. Wanna know a secret on that? I was pretty sure that I was going that way by the end of next summer anyway, depending on how this pandemic goes.

That brings me to where my motivation is. I’m motivated in getting in way better shape, however, it would seem that the pandemic is trying to thwart my plans. I got this, I just have to get creative, because of my work hours are about to get crazy with thirteen hour days. Which will have me putting in sixty-five hours in one week, and twenty-six hours on the other week. I just need to adjust, and also remember what it was like during the first few years when my schedule was something like this. I’ve been told that it’s only temporary because we’ve got people out due to concerns. Nothing like having seasonal things being thrown in with a pandemic on top, right? It makes life interesting.

On the brighter side of things, today is my three-year-anniversary of having the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, which means that it was three-years ago that I decided to make the jump and take some sort of control over my life again. It’s weird when you live in a body so long and it doesn’t feel like it’s your body. It would feel like I was living life through someone else’s space. There have been many ups and downs, but I don’t regret anything. As a matter of fact, my friend and partner in crime is going to have his done in just over a month. I’m both excited to see that he’s getting that help to get started, but nervous that he might have complications that I didn’t. I hope the mental part isn’t so difficult for him.

Staying motivated has been hard. I could come up with excuses, but I’m trying not too. I’m trying to adapt, and that’s where I’ve found challenges. Not only in the timing, but even my body being in the physical shape it is, needs to find something because it’s adapted to the training regime that I’ve been doing for this so long. Going through the ISSA personal training guide has taught me about the seven Grandfather principles has taught me about a few things about having to address these changes for progress.

Let’s face it, I was plateauing out for longer then I would like to admit, but I will progress past this, especially since I’m going to take this into my brands and that entrepreneurial spirit that I’ve been gravitating towards. My lifestyle and professional life should reflect each other, and while I’ve been working towards that, I know that it’s going to happen. I have that faith, I have that drive. It’s what my hustle has been going for the whole time. I’m ready to launch my brands on a bigger scale. It’s the fear of failure that has kept me hesitant from actually going forward.

We went to our new location at the branding house for our first meeting, and it was productive. It felt nice to have a professional space to work, and it was a great place to go and prepare for our major push. With that I also started my final process to get that certificate for my personal trainer license. There is so much more that’s going on, that’s part of the “next step”.

The Geekutural Experience is going to be getting some love and a bit of a diverse refocus, as our geek culture will be getting videos on game play, podcasts that will go over more on the subject of games. Plus we’ll be launching a digital new letter covering the other parts of entertainment and pop culture.

The CK Project, will be looking to get a non-profit for the health and wellness of people. It’s been a hard fought battle that I’ve endured my whole life, and I want to continue to show people that there are better options out there. I’ve come to the point where changing lives has given me so much purpose that it’s helped me keep positive. Positivity is the best way to go, because there’s way too much of the negative, and people trying to tear each other down. Look out for more podcasts and video content as well, as this mission keeps going.

Luckey Bom Films is the thing that will tie everything together. It took film school to help guide me unto this path in ways that I never expected. It ended up doing more for me than just showing me how to make a movie. It taught me how to present more things. It taught me about the importance of my brand. That’s the biggest lesson of all. That’s an important part to remember, your brand is what you are. It represents your character. Truth is, not everybody gives a shit on what their brand stands for, and that’s okay.

I’m trying to represent being positive, and a good person. I know I’m not someone everyone is a fan of, but I do my best to keep going in the best direction that I can. Do I fail? Of course I do, I don’t always make the best decisions. Sometimes I let my ego get the best of the situation.

Keep in mind that things can get worse, and as long as you’re breathing and above ground, it’s a good thing. as my year went from surprisingly okay to the plot twist of having to deal with loss, I’ve been doing my best to keep it together. I’ve had co-workers express interest in how I’m doing as I’ve not seemed like my normal self. I don’t really feel that the loss of loved one’s has changed me in any sort of way. I do feel that it’s pushed me to get somewhere better in my life though.

With that said, I do want to reiterate that I miss Smush, she was a good, loving dog. I don’t think that I had ever felt so much love from an animal since my childhood dog, Princess. I wish that I would have tried harder to have a relationship with my mother, I didn’t truly understand the love that she had for me until I was in Pennsylvania, and was told the stories and read the writing that she had about me and my siblings. As for my ex, Mariah, I’m sorry that she left this earth at such a young age, but with the health problems she was dealing with, I’m glad that she’s no longer suffering.

I will also reiterate what good has come of this year. Not going out to do the things I’ve come to enjoy over the years, I did find that I was spending less money, which in term helped us pay off some bills. Which in the end will give us more to actually invest in the things that we’re doing. I learned things about myself when challenged by my ideology. Through the loss of someone, I was able to connect with a side of my life that I never knew that I was missing. The last and biggest part of the positive things that have come out of this year is the fact that it’s pushed me to be more creatively driven, and I’m touring with a great team that will help elevate the products that we plan on launching with the new year, we’ll be constantly busy every weekend, bringing something out for you to consume and hopefully enjoy.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Something Big Is Brewing

I’ve gotten off from a great weekend. I got in an excellent workout on Saturday, published two blogs, broke down a script, and did a podcast. It was a great weekend, full of productivity, plus it was nice to give my three brands the love and attention they deserve.

As much as I’ve been struggling lately with the stars in life, it’s always good when I can get a weekend of positivity in. Mentally, being creative helps save me from myself. I can pour the energy and focus into it. It’s almost like an emotional rest for me. It gets complex, because of what emotions can develope from my writing.

I find that as a writer, I’m quite different than as person. In the real world, I’m generally positive, funny, and laid back. There isn’t much that upsets me, accept the enternal struggle with my mind.

As a writer, the subject tone is usually serious, and deep. I think that deep down, this is a way that I might be working through some of my emotional things. They say that a writer pours a bit of themselves into the characters. So, that either leads me to believe that the tragedy and traumas that I’ve suffered, might have helped lead me understanding a bit about other events that I might not have suffered myself.

At the same time, I know that anything I write, I would like guidance to give it authenticity. As I wrote the project Unexpected Side Trip, I wanted to represent the LGBTQA community as much as possible for the lead characters. As I work on the project I’ll be doing after, I want to do it justice as it deals with how people deal with grief from the loss of their child to juvenile leukemia. While I haven’t lost a child myself, I’ve had friends and family that have, and I want to represent it in the best possible light that I can. This is important to me, because this story has been in development for the last four years, and I’m just now able to get back to writing it.

We are working on some ideas to present with the Geekultural Experience, as right now the podcasting is some off the easier things to do. At the same time, it’s been a bit slow to gain momentum. https://anchor.fm/geekultural-exp/episodes/Cosplay-and-Halloween-e5d4v5 here’s the episode in case you’re interested in seeing what it’s all about. We’re thinking about hitting another convention for one day as we’re still really just trying to find our niche in this world.

Now, the big one that most people come to read about on these blogs, the CK Project. We’ve been working on merchandise, and I’ve had a few of the shirts made, and I think that they’re good quality. We just got some pull-over hoodies designed and in various colors. The response is great, and I’ve got a few people who’ve said that they were going to buy something. As this is going for motivation for weight loss and for mental health awareness, we’re looking to turn this into a non-profit organization. I think that I’m both excited and torn by this idea, but if it helps get the message out, then I’m all for the affect of progressing to something a bit different.

As for my progress, I’m currently at a stand still on my weight. I did however up the weight that I’m lifting. twenty-pounds added to my deadlift, and I felt like I was going to die. I’ve progressed on my kettle-bell, and the dumbbells that I’ve been using to do military presses.

I find that my circuit training had started getting to a point where I wasn’t getting the sweat like I had. I do also realize that going heavier comes with the complications of being able to injure myself easier, that’s why form is important. With that, I’m trying to take a bit more time with my reps so that I can be sure that I don’t hurt myself. Yet, I think this was also something I needed to help me get past this five-pound curse.

I will be checking-in with my doctor’s office tomorrow so that I could get back into my check-ins and to start the discussion of getting the skin-removal-surgery. I’ve been feeling uncomfortable in my skin lately. As I’ve been going along, I’ve started to feel that the surgery’s the answer that I need. Itchy, uncomfortable skin is a thing, so I’m going to deal with it until I don’t have to anymore.

I know that I put off my last appointment because of the fact that we had some earthquakes during that time. Now, I feel that I hadn’t because there’s something inside of me that’s afraid of getting the surgery. I’ve heard that it’s painful, and to be honest, I’m a bit anxious about having another surgery. That would include having to take off another six-weeks from work.

I guess that it’s the unknown that keeps me hesitant. I also know that I talk about self-improvement, so I should just take the plunge. This would be career wise as well. At least this is something that I’ve been actively taking into my hands over the last few years. It’s been slow, but with the weight loss, I’ve learned that I can and do deserve to be able to grow professionally.

I’m the director and that’s a wrap.

Lose And Gain

So, it’s been a while since I’ve done the official “weight-loss” update. Here goes; I gained four pounds. Yep, that’s the official update, I’m back up to 264 pounds. I’m not even mad, I knew the plateau’s and the weight gains would just all be apart of the process. So remember that!

You see the commercials on television and in print ads that someone can help you drop all the weight you want by a pill or a drink, with minimal work. It doesn’t work that way, ever. The truth is that while you will drop the weight, there will be times that you level out, and even gain some. Remember that it’s just part of the journey, and I know that’s the part that people hate.

It’s the plateau’s and the gains that cause most people to quit. I mean who wants to see the number stick or go up? We didn’t get into losing weight to see the momentum go anywhere but down? I gained five pounds, and I’ve worked so hard not to gain, what kind of bullshit is this?

I remember the first time I plateau’d after my surgery, God it was frustrating! Man it was the longest time before I dropped weight again(actually it was like three weeks). I don’t think I got mad at myself, but it was disappointing. Yet, I knew even then that it was part of the process, but after seeing my first hundred pounds just melt off, it sucked.

I think some habits have also snuck back into my life, especially since I’ve been in a bit of a stressful situation. I still have a win because one, I’m aware of it, and two, I’m still staying active. I’m going to overcome this situation. This is just another bump in the road that I have to overcome.

Mentally, I’ve been a bit down, but nothing too discouraging to know that I can’t overcome it. The mind is your most powerful weapon that you have. If you believe, then you can achieve. I know that my mind tells me that I can’t do things, like lunges. It doesn’t let me do lunges, and it makes me feel afraid that I’ll injure my knee. I don’t ever recall injuring my knee that way, but it makes it hard for me to go down without some sort of support. If I use a chair, then I know that I can do it.

On the positive side, I’ve been learning about various exercises from the Men’s Health Magazine, Twitter page. One of the exercises, that I’m excited about is the Mt. Climber, I’ve seen it done, but I realized that when I’ve done it before, I didn’t have the proper form for doing it. Another exercise is called the Halo. It’s an exercise that can use either a dumbbell or a kettlebell and it works the shoulders. This one excites me because it hits the shoulders from several angles. A third exercise that I’ve seen on video from Twitter is called a pike press. Modified, I think it would be a good exercise for me to do a shoulder press.

Another thing that I can say that is on the positive side, is that I’ve been looking into what kind of mindset an entrepreneur should have. I know that it’s going to take time, and a massive amount of hard work, but I will get there. I also know that I’m pushing for “maximum effort” because while one brand, or business is a full-time job, I have three that I’m working on.

With that, this is where things get a bit more convoluted, the CK Project is my oldest and most popular of my brands.  It’s great because I find that it’s the easiest to give most of my attention too. I support the fact that I get to help others with mental and physical guidance. This is what helped me become a happier person, and the privilege to help others has been fulfilling.

The birth of The Geekultural Experience actually spun-off of a group that I helped create called The Geeks of the IWV.  The group was formed as a way to help my friend cope with the death of her son, and it’s done fairly well. While The Geekultural Experience started on Facebook, it seems to have a better following on Twitter. I find that I get the news on Twitter so much easier more readily than Facebook.

While I enjoy my these brands and they fill a very different aspect of my life, the one I’m most looking forward to picking up is my film company, Luckey Bom Films. It’s more because I would love to have them all to be more equal then they are, but I’m sure this will get there at some point. It’s hard trying to keep things sorted out, and each get more attention, at different times when the focus can shift to what’s taking the more precedence at the time.

What would you like to see me talk about? Is there anything you think could help take my brands to another level? Leave a comment, and let’s start a dialogue, I’d love to interact and get feed back on the things I’m doing. After all, criticism is just a tool for improvement. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Outside’s Gonna Melt Your Face, But I’m Feeling Fine.

The summer heat is cooking, and with this weather last year everyday felt like the scene from Raiders of the Lost Art,  in where the Nazi’s open the Ark of the Covenant, and their faces melt off. However, I’ve come prepared more for the heat this year then I have been in the past several years. Where being on the job in years past, my back would be a sweaty water fall, it’s now just a trickle. I do still think that the heat sucks, but at least I don’t feel like I’m about to die everyday.

I did my two week weigh–in on Friday, and discovered myself down another three-point-one pounds. I’ve discovered that that’s about what I’ve been averaging for the last few months, is about three to four pounds every two weeks. That’s not bad considering that one to two pounds a week is what would be classified normal. Looking at pants sizes of the biggest at fifty-four, and looking at the waist of a forty-two, is a big difference.

That brings my total down one hundred-twenty-one-point-two pounds. I joke and say that I’ve lost my wife in weight. It’s about true, and I’m good with that. I still get those moments of being nervous of being caught in a stall. Especially since the hundred-plus weather isn’t helping my motivation at all. I also went for a walk on Thursday after work, and discovered that I had burnt the top of my head on the walk.36329976_2091643187757945_3984035268909858816_o

I took the above picture on my phone on that Thursday around six-thirty in the evening. I like how the shadows give a bit of a serious look. As I walk, I think about anything and everything. I realized that this is my meditation, as I’m always in my head when I walk. I guess you could say that this is my time at “church”. A time where I have conversations with God. I know that it gives me the chance to just walk, and not think about the physical activity that I’m doing.

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This is the best I’ve felt in a long time. I took this for my weigh-in update photo for the social media. When I saw the scale read three-hundred-eight-point-seven pounds, it’s truly a great feeling. I haven’t been this light, since my oldest child was born, and that was seventeen years ago. The changes, both physically and mentally are incredible. My body is getting closer to my self-image.

It’s incredible to think that as I get ever closer to my fortieth year in life, that I have finally taken control back of who I am. It feels that I let most of my twenties and thirties kind of keep me down, and dictate my uncontrollable self. A feeling of helplessness and hatred for the decisions that I was making. I was lashing out at myself because I let myself get a certain way. I have that control now. I’m not letting life pass me by. I’m finding that strength and happiness that I deserve as a person.

Speaking of goals, I have a few updates about the other parts of my life. One, we are almost ready to go full ahead and film our short The Reunion, that’s the official title of what was previously known as The Dialogue. I’m excited to be working with the casted individuals, as one of them has worked with me, and for me in other projects before. Plus the new blood joining us really seems to be like a good guy as well. I can’t wait to get started so that we can get this one in the “can” and continue on with the other things we’re planing on doing.

The other news, is related to the Geekultural Experience. I’ve been talking to a writer on Tumblr about checking out his Manga and this will be one of those I’ll do a review on for my geek media. I think this is the start of something that could help boost his, and our brands together and I look forward to seeing what other connections that I’ll be doing through the various platforms of social media.

As a reflection of the what’s going on in my personal life: My oldest child will be seventeen years old this Wednesday, and I’m both proud, and surprised by this fact. She’s grown into a beautiful person, and she’s made me very proud of the accomplishments that she’s set for herself. She also makes me feel incredibly old because she is turning seventeen, but I look forward to spending the day with her and watching the fireworks, because she shares the day with the birth of our country’s independence.

Well, this is the Director with another blog, and that’s a wrap.

Water To Make It Grow

There was an idea. A minuscule thought that I decided I couldn’t just let go. So, I took that thought, and I decided to plant it. I needed a way to make this tiny thought grow. I needed to nurture it. I had to wait to see the buds come out of the soil. I was kind of scared to think about how it would look, if that bud would be worth it, and yet I needed to see if I could turn it into a flower. Then the thoughts of would it be good enough to bare fruit. I just wasn’t sure, if I was the right gardener.

The idea was to better myself, and I spent about a year thinking about it. Hell, I don’t even think that I thought too much on it, but that I wanted to just shut everything off. I didn’t want to deal with what life had given me at that time. I just wanted to feel numb. I wasn’t ready to grow yet.

When I had found out that change needed to happen, that’s when the idea started to form. I wasn’t quite ready for it to grow, but it was starting. When I decided to plant it, I made one of the most grown up decisions of my life: I would go back to school. I was tired of the wasteland that had become my life. I was tired of feeling trapped in a barren land where nothing was seemingly providing me with more than an unknown thirst. I couldn’t find a way to hydrate my soul, and I became desperate to quench that thirst. I just didn’t know how, or what I could do to change that feeling.

All I had known was that I needed something drastic to happen, and that came in the form of three words, “What’s up, bitches?” This would provide me with the time I needed to find the help and the watering trough that I would need to refresh myself. It’s funny to look back on that moment and realize that from a professional standpoint, “what’s up, bitches,” would be my legacy. Little did I realize that my life would take a drastic turn, and push me in ways I hadn’t expected.

As the seed was in the ground, I needed to water it, and school was the start of the fountain that would turn the seed into a bud. As I would go along, that fountain would also help that bud grow into a tree. This tree would bare the sweetest fruit that I had ever had in my life. I would become satisfied with a full belly, and the thirst would disappear.

As that tree started to grow almost four years ago. So would my life, and how funny that I would compare a tree to my life, as often that is the symbol of life. As a seed, my life was in shambles, I was ready to die, and I didn’t have my shit together. As, the process of education and going back to work happened, the tree grew bigger, and my life started to find the proper direction. Life had started to root into a solid foundation.

I wouldn’t have imagine that the fruit would end up being goals that I had never expected to accomplish. The CK Project was a seed that had died out when my life had become that barren wasteland. I had always wanted my own production company, when I was younger I always imagined that I’d be producing music, and movies, along with acting hadn’t ever been apart of that picture. Yet Luckey Bom Films would end up being the first fruit, and after consideration. The health and wellness part would become the second fruit.

Besides the Geekultural Experience the biggest blossom from the tree has been the drive that I never knew I had. This is where the gardening takes place, as I try to bare more fruit for my labors. So, now I’ve had time to see where my potential is taking me. I continue to grow, and the fruit keeps getting bigger and better. Life is turning into Eden for me, and I love it.

One year ago today, I had my first sleep study. It would lead me to this moment where I’m over one hundred pounds lighter, and my life expectancy has gotten longer. I’ve grown as a man, and I couldn’t be any more grateful for the support that I constantly get. The Facebook likes and comments, the Instagram likes, the Twitter comments. It all goes to validate what I’ve been trying to accomplish, and with the inspiration that people have told me that get from me, shows that I’m helping harvesting more gardens, and I hope that people can get what they are in return looking for.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

Pre 30k Weekend

Well, so far this week has been shit for steps, I think I broke 8k at one point earlier in the week, but outside of the Vegas trip, I haven’t really done much else. Though this is one of those weekend’s where all the aspects of my life are going to collide together. This will be good for all those aspects too.

We are in Anaheim tonight, getting ready for a weekend at the comic book convention Wonder Con. As a pre-game warm up, we decided to go to Disneyland for a couple of hours, and I got 14,956 steps for the night. Disney is one of those places that the steps take off(remember I did the 22k last time). So, now that I’ve done almost 15k, I think I will hit up the same amount, if not more tomorrow, and Saturday. Sunday should be the at least 10k.

I will be keeping people updated on my tasks for the CK Project,  but this weekend is more about my Geekultural Experience. Twitter @geekulturalxp is part of my multi-faceted brand that is going to shine this weekend. Plus there will be people that I can network with for my filmmaking stuff as well(see the three sides are colliding this weekend).

So, Instagram and Twitter are going to blow up this weekend, which will help launch the Geekultural Experience podcast next weekend. I can’t wait to start that part of the journey, as it fills out my skill list for things that I offer. This weekend, I’ll have my partner Ed Smith with us, and I can’t wait to share this side of the geekiness with him.

The bright side is that I’m not going to be eating much as my gastric sleeve won’t tolerate the foods that will be provided at the convention. With all the walking, things will be interesting for sure. At least being almost one hundred pounds lighter will keep my stamina up.

On the other side of things, this should be the last weekend that I’ll be out of town busy… I miss the weekends at home, I haven’t been creative like I would like to be, but the filmmaking job helps keep me busy, even if it doesn’t pay much of the bills yet.

So, much is going on right now, and since the start of my phase two: evolution, I’m looking forward to seeing where this is going to take me. The next thing that I’m going to worry about is the stress test which I take on Monday for work. I think that I’ll have a better time passing it this time, in compared to the last time I went through all of this. I don’t think that I’ll pass the physical agility test, but I will give it my best. Plus, I should start my personal training next week as well.

I will also be learning skills from my partner and friend Ed. This will help with another project that we’ll be doing, and there will be more details on that a bit later. I find learning is the best thing for me as I continue to grow as a person, both professionally and personally.

Going back to my weight loss journey, I’ve been reaching out to new people that are going through, or want to go through the process of weight loss surgery. I want to help give direction to those who might not know what to expect, or not sure how to handle the feelings that come with this process. I’m glad that I have some insight into what goes on internally.

I’ve been up entirely too long tonight, and we have a big day tomorrow. Lots of booths and panels that we want to check out. Stay tuned to the Geekultural Experience Twitter and Instagram pages as I’m going to be utilizing those as much as possible this weekend. I love sharing the geeky side of my passion with people, and hope that it becomes something people will want to continue to follow.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.