Eleven Months, You’ve Been Good

My check- up was yesterday, and it was nice to see another pound gone since Tuesday. I’m glad that things are no longer stagnate with my weight. It really gives me the motivation to keep pushing myself to get better.

One of the things I’ve done is get ten thousand or more steps in everyday for the last six days. I’m shooting for making this day seven, and hopefully day eight tomorrow. There are times that I don’t always get them in but then, I do need to have a break.

More and more confidence comes my way as I get closer to the goals I’ve set for myself. I’m even looking at nicer clothes to wear. Sarah says that she likes seeing this new side of me. The weight goes down and the confidence just pours in. That’s one of the perks that I’ve gotten to enjoy in the last year.

So my weight is currently at 290.3, and the last time I saw this was in the year 2000. It blows my mind that I’m in better condition than I have been most of my adult life. That’s legally an adult now, crazy. With 139.6 down, I’m feeling that getting another 10.4 pounds will be gone be the new year.

The rest of this month is going to keep me fairly busy. At least one day during the weekend, we’ve got something going on, next weekend will be our Society of Creative Anachronism’s local event Frost Dragon. I’m excited because I get to share this hobby with a friend who’s never been, and I hope that she finds a passion in it, as I’ve had, hopefully even more so. I’ve also heard that a couple of other friends who I don’t normally see except at out of town events might be showing up. That’s even more exciting because they are geeky individuals as well.

The weekend after is going to a mini-comic book convention, so that’s going to be fun. Especially since I’ve got a geek media that I’m working on getting off the ground. So much is put into getting things really going so that I can enjoy my passions, and make some money to support the family. It also helps that they show the same kind of passion.

The weekend after is Thanksgiving weekend. I’m going to enjoy a four-day weekend, as the plan for Black Friday is going to the theater to see Creed II(2018). It’s exciting that I get to sit and watch it with my son. When he said he was into boxing, I thought why not share my love of the boxing movies of the Rocky series. He really got into it, and when we were watching those movies, it was giving me the chance to watch Creed(2015).  One of the problems being a movie connoisseur is that I don’t always get the time to watch everything that I have, and it takes quite a bit of time to get through when I can.

We’re in the works for filming the documentary based on my weight loss journey soon. The biggest part is getting something that call B-roll footage, I’ve got to borrow some photos from my parents to add to the film, so it’ll both be amazing and a crazy trip through time as I gather those things together. The biggest thing I hope that this documentary helps inspire more people than this blog, and the various social medias already have. Helping other’s is what I think my purpose in life is. I enjoy it, and it inspires my children to do greater things too.

I have a second blog on Tumblr, follow me there as I get out more content and pictures on my adventures for my weight loss journey, and I also share posts about exercises and other types of content besides what goes on this blog. I’m going to get that blog to show more than just weight loss and mental health. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ckproject.

Please keep enjoying my writings, and don’t be afraid to reach out if you have any questions, or comments. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

Break On Through Past The Plateau Side

Well, I weighed-in Tuesday. I know that I’ve been saying that I’ve been scared to see if I would end up with another weigh-in saying 293. something, but I did it, and I’m glad to report that I moved down another two pounds. I’m down to 291.3 with 138.6 total loss so far.

When the numbers go down on the scale, it’s always a good feeling, and this time it seemed bitter sweet. I realize that it’s not the fantastic numbers that I used to get, but it’s still a hell of a win in my book.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Not only that, but Sarah finally had her appointment to see the doctor, and we now have an idea of what it is she’s going through. Crohn’s disease, while not the best news about her health, I had a feeling that was what it probably was, and now we can take the steps forward to treating it. I feel that the rough patch may finally be over.

So in the morning, I will be going in for my eleven month check-up for my weight loss surgery. I can’t believe that it’s been almost a year since I did this thing. It’s crazier to think about how much my life has changed since then. Both physically and mentally, I am in the best spot that I’ve ever been. A journey that will never be regretted.

Stepping up the intensity of my workouts, and getting more consistent steps in for my days is helping me go down in more weight. As of tonight, I’ve done five days of ten thousand steps plus, so I’m feeling really accomplished, and I’m going to try and get at least eight days in a row by the time I’m done.

Now I’m also working on some aspects of my life so that we can really get the brands up and making money. I’m not looking to make a whole lot of money right away, but it would be nice to be able to add at least a couple hundred bucks a month to help invest in other areas in my life.

With that being said, I’m looking to offer other services, as in links to products and services that I would probably support. We’re still in the investigative stages of getting our merchandise off the ground. So the adventure of finding several other avenues of income to help get the dream going is taking some focus currently.  I’m also looking into starting a Patreon for my followers. The marketing part of this business thing gets to be one of the more difficult parts to do.

Thank God that I have my creative side. That seems to be the one thing that seems to make sense in my life. The rest of it is needed to help me get the various projects funded so that I can bring out the highest quality work that I can give everybody.

I’ll update everyone on the results of tomorrow, and this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Keeping It Up.

It’s still amazing that I’m feeling so positive with everything going on. Another good week of workouts. Even if it’s three days instead of four.

My second session with Sam for the week got pushed back until five o’ clock on Friday. The workout was good and destroyed my legs. They got to the point where I thought they were going to give out as I was going to do bend over rows. It took me a few minutes before I could convince myself that I could do it.

I ended up being busy on Saturday, but I was still able to get over ten thousand steps in. I struggled due to my legs still being fatigued. There was a few times I thought not legs were going to give out, not to mention strong up on higher ground. I was glad that I could enjoy doing activities with the family that day.

Sunday was the day that I took my son with me to get some gym time in. We started with some cardio, and because my legs were still a bit sore, I wasn’t about that part of the exercise very long. Though we did get down and did weights. We tend to concentrate a bit more on the upper body when we go, and I’m one to focus a bit more on chest and arms when we go. I think that the hardest part about going to the gym and teaching him proper form is that he’s autistic, and has a learning disability. There’s some difficulty communicating how to do things completely the right way. It is getting better though. I just have to take a bit more time to get him to understand my instructions.

After our workout, our tradition, because autistic kids like routine, we go and get ourselves a protein drink afterwards. This is one of those things that I’m happy that we can bond over. We talk about the workout we just did, and how the protein helps to work on the muscles of the body.

It’s good that I’m getting into a routine that pushes my exercise. Being stuck on a plateau, not only has frustrated me, but I’ve been hesitant about getting back on the scale. Yes, there’s always been that fear of failing, but going in the opposite direction would scare me a bit. I will be going in and doing a weigh-in tomorrow, because I have to see where I am.

This whole ordeal comes down to the fact that this is a mental game. In the end I know that I’ve got this, yet I find myself at a difficult point to convince myself that I do know this. It’s funny to think that everyone is their own worst enemy. It’s a bit cliche, but unfortunately true. We tend to get in our own way for success. I just got to convince myself that everything will be okay.

Also, it’s crazy to see that it’s the end of October, and that I’m in the last part of the one year anniversary of my weight loss surgery. Among the many things that have gone on this past year, I still find it amazing that this decision has taken me on a journey that I wouldn’t have expected before I ever considered it. So much of it has been about self discovery. So much has just started making more sense to where I was and why I was where I was in life. It’s amazing with the realization of how linked the mind and body are. It sometimes feels as if I was reborn, and that I’m learning everything new.

Life is crazy, and there’s no real definition for normal. My life happens to deal with all sorts of random craziness, and there is where I find the strength. I think that is probably most people’s lives, with the random craziness, “the cards that life deals”. It’s how we approach those “cards” and handle it. Sometimes, people need some guidance in how to deal with those “cards”.

My “cards” just happen to deal with weight issues, depression, youth anxiety, autism, and a few other things that could end up pushing someone to the limit. I saw a professional to help me deal with the depression, and the surgery was something that helped me deal with the weight issues. It’s just sometimes I need to be reminded that I can get the rest handled in due time. I’ve learned so much from those “cards”, and I continue to learn how to play my hand.

The biggest thing to remember is that I can survive, and I have, and I will continue. Sometimes I just need to refocus and keep going in the right direction. Remember that, even you will get through it, even if it looks bleak at the moment, you can survive as well. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

The Four Day Feel Good

Last weekend was great. Everything turned out to be just the right vibe to put me in a better mood. I made my personal training sessions last week, and did both days of the weekend at the gym.

I’m glad that I’m setting things right in life. It gets hard when everything in life starts to feel like it’s trying to go against you. With the plateau, and family health, I hadn’t been feeling positive and slightly depressed.

(A continuation, because I started this post earlier in the week)

I should totally say that while I’m getting more motivated, my video game addiction gets heavy this time of hear because of all the good games coming out, like Spider-man for the PS4, WWE 2k19, Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, and Red Dead Redemption 2. Though that’s for a totally different thing that I do.

However, I also hit my personal training days this week, I’m planing on weighing in on Sunday, because I’ve been discouraged by the scale as of the last month. I also plan on going to the gym both days this weekend, and take the boy with me. I was happy to take him last weekend and see what he could do. He does get better, I just know that it’s going to take awhile for him to get that proper form going.

I should say that my running has gotten better than I expected. I can run a five-point-six on the treadmill for two minutes. I’ve also done a six-point-zero for a minute, so that I know that I’ll get better. It helps going to the things that I’m trying to accomplish in my professional and personal life.

On a bright note about myself being happy, is that I’ve been writing one of my screen plays again, and it’s putting me in the feel good mood that I’ve been missing. It’s really amazing how much the mind and the body seem to mirror each other, and I’m constantly amazed by the self-awareness that I’ve been gaining through out this whole process.

Part of the process is that I’m starting to put more focus on my brands again because, it helps me feel better. Sometimes it seems strange, but staying busy doesn’t leave too much room for negative thoughts. Besides, I’m building something, and making it tangible. It’s amazing to see the feeling of accomplishment. I’m trying to make a positive impact on my children’s lives as we build something for the betterment of the family.

I showed the kids that you could accomplish anything you put your mind too, through dedication and hard work. I busted my ass to get through school, and I noticed that I have a passion when I talk about the whole process of filmmaking. I sometimes think that I tend to bite of too much more than I can handle since I’m taking myself in several different directions all at one time. Time to refocus and get that work flow going again.

If you like the things I saw, and want to follow more closely to the CK Project, than you can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ckproject97/. It’s a bit of promotion, I know, but it’s another way you can follow my life, and the craziness that can happen. Plus you can PM me on there and we can start up a conversation if you, the reader, have questions.

I can never say enough of how much I’m enjoying the journey to better health, and I’m continually growing as a person. I’m gaining a warrior’s spirit, and the biggest success story of my life, is that fact that I’m still here, among the living, and I didn’t let suicidal tendencies get the best of me. I’m a survivor, and there is nothing anyone can do to take away those accomplishments.

Before I call this a wrap, I want to mention that by the end of the year, my team and I will be coming out with a few different pod casts that will cover various subjects, such as battling depression, inspirational motivation about self-care, and my other brands will be coming out with some pretty sweet stuff. So, if you like my writing, like my blog. If you love it, then please share, let’s boost the message I’ve been trying to get out. With that, this is the director and that’s a wrap.

Life With Unmotivated Words

So, seventeen days have passed since my last blog. Motivation has mostly eluded me as I’ve been dealing with life’s issues of varying degrees. I know that I need to get myself in the right mind set, and I’m putting myself back on track today.

It’s funny because I set my goal to get back on the right path on Friday and I’m sticking to that commitment. Time to kick even more ass as I head closer to my one year anniversary of my surgery.

Before I continue, I find it funny how the levels of motivation seem to change. While life had been going on, my writing has fallen behind, but my weight loss journey has been moving forward really well.  I’m shrugging it off and am putting more dedication to the other aspects of my life. I need those outlets to help me keep myself more sane.

Today I ended up staying home and helping the wife out with her recovery from the procedure she had yesterday. That meant that I had to take the kid, who wasn’t sick, to school today. I feel good that I was able to get in my personal training session. It was good to get some time and focus on my journey to better help. It’s one of the things that I require in my life to find a balance. Which is something else that I find kind of funny that I’ve become dependent on things to help me keep peace in my soul.

I finally started on my slasher script, and while I had a few pages on paper, I’m eager to see where I take this story. I’m taking my time to write it, because I want this to be the best writing I’ve done so far, even if that’s the way I feel about every piece I write. The creative process has been a saving grace of mine for the last several years, and I’m discovering that I shouldn’t put it off. Every time I do, I feel a bit off, though, working out is also part of it as well.

I’ve been getting colder as the days get shorter, I guess that’s part of where the weight loss has been negative, but fitting in a 2x shirt has made things well worth the journey so far. Although the hanging skin is something that I want to go away at some point. Though  the things I can do with it does make people laugh. I’ll be ready to get rid of the wizard sleeves after my journey changes from losing to maintaining.

I was able to see my friend at The Great Western War. She recently had the surgery and was looking great. She told me that everyone had been telling her how much her attitude had changed. She said that she didn’t realize how much happier she was. I was telling her that I agreed, that I noticed that having the surgery changed me like that as well.

It’s funny how much the mind, and body really align with each other. When one is off, so is the other usually. That’s where over compensation tends to come in. For me it was putting on the ego, and having the over the top personality. While the ego’s fading away with real confidence, I don’t think my personality has changed. Though I do feel like I’m quieter over all. I take more time to speak and not let my emotions get the best of me anymore, or at least I try not too.

I’m the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

Hitting A Bump In The Road

Today has been a day for many things. The first of such is my eighteenth year with my wife. Eighteen years ago we went out on our first date, and we’ve been together ever since. Today was also my weigh-in day, and I came in at 293.7. I hit a plateau and I felt really discouraged today.

It’s frustrating because I’ve been getting my steps in, as in I’m getting in 10,000 plus steps most days for the last few weeks, and I’ve been trying to get running in. I’m doing pretty good when I run, and I’m trying to get somewhere with work, so I’m trying to pass my physical test so that I can get a promotion at work.

I know that I’ll eventually pass this plateau, but it’s discouraging that after nine months, that I finally hit this mark. Yes, I’m aware that it happens to everyone, just not the greatest news. I might have to just ride this temporary stop on the journey. I’ll just have to keep going and not get discouraged enough to want to stop. Over all, I feel great, and I like when I work out. I’m just not sure if I should do a pouch reset or not yet.

Also, today is my eighteenth anniversary from my first date with my wife Sarah. I guess that means our relationship can vote now. For most of our relationship, we’ve been the youngest couple, but we’ve also seemed like the couple that been married the longest. It’s amazing how people have looked to us for advice in being married.

Every year, when something like this comes up, I never fail to mention that we’ve had our ups and downs. That’s no different than any other couple, and if somebody told you different, I’m sure they’re just trying to sell you something. The single biggest thing I think I’ve learned is that it gets easier the longer we’re together. Communication is key, and I’m going to repeat, and underline that. Communication is key!!!

I’ve observed that some of the couples I’ve known have split, and I’ve also noticed that lack of communication was the biggest part of that. If you want to succeed, please learn to communicate with your partner. The lack of communication was what almost brought  the down fall of my relationship. Once we were being more honest about our feelings, it helped us overcome some of the bigger issues that plagued our relationship.

The last five years have been an incredible journey with so much growth for myself, that I’ve find myself far humbled than I had ever been before. Now I find another challenge in front of me as we are dealing with Sarah having health problems. I find it difficult to have the words to say or reactions needed to comfort her as she’s started to develop depression.

It’s one thing when I’ve been dealing with it my whole life, but it’s another level when you have to start dealing with it as you get older. There’s frustration, confusion, and fear because you don’t get why these things are happening. I suppose that I could say that things will get better, but until things are answered about what is wrong, I can’t say that honestly, because there’s too many unknowns. The only thing I can guarantee is that I’m here to support her no matter what. I think that helps. but I haven’t been feeling very helpful towards her lately.

Trying is the best anybody can do. I can understand why people might turn away during these trying times. It’s a fear of losing those we love, and not wanting to have that level of grief in our lives. Yet, it isn’t far to those who are physically suffering from those ailments, and honestly, it’s a dick move.

This is just another challenge in the life we live and it won’t break us. I won’t allow it to break me, especially since I’ve come so far, and even if things haven’t taken off the way I would like them too, I’m not going to let things bring me down. There are better things coming in the future and I can’t wait to see where this journey and growth takes me.

Happy anniversary to my beautiful wife, as we’ll spend as many days as this life will give us. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

 

Push To Not Give Up

Our minds can be our greatest strength, but it can also be our worse enemy. I also know that this has been a subject that I’ve been touching on quite a bit recently. It’s just part of the journey, as I continue on building a better self. At least I haven’t given up on the path yet.

Moving forward, I weighed-in yesterday. Being in a place of self doubt, and not thinking I’ve been doing vary well, I was glad to see that I hadn’t let myself get out of control. The scale came in at 293.9. That’s a five pound loss since my last weigh-in. My BMI is at 42.2, which is great to know that I’ve lost about twenty percent of my body mass.

I’m kind of in an odd spot where I’ve had to get smaller equipment to wear for work, the stuff I’ve been wearing is getting way to big on me, yet one size smaller is still a bit too small for me. I did notice last week that the belt I wear was starting to fit better though. I also realize that now’s the time I actually get myself some new uniforms.

All I can keep telling myself is to just keep pushing forward. It’s always hard to keep that on the forefront of my mind, but it’s worth it. A misstep isn’t the end of the world. I think that’s the biggest fear…to just loose control and end up back at square one. Maybe that’s my check point, and what keeps me going. That fear of being like I was, with no will power, and no self control. I don’t want to feel the way I used to feel. I’m liking my new outlook on life.

Going back to the weigh-in though: I’m down 136 pounds. It feels good, no, it feels great. My next goal to hit is 270, and I know that isn’t so far away of obtaining. I’m now at a weight that I was before I got with my wife Sarah. It feels great, and that was over eighteen years ago. If I hit below 270, that will be a weight I haven’t seen in over twenty years. As I say and think it, a feeling of amazement comes to mind. I can’t even begin to grasp the concept of me being less than fat. While I’m no longer considered morbidly obese, I’m considered severely obese.

I guess that it’s a down grade, but it still feels negative to be considered that. I know that I have a long way to go before I’ll be considered healthy, but I’m getting there. That’s the mentality that I need to keep: I’m getting there. So, that should be one of my new hash tags- #Imgettingthere . A mantra to follow, and keep me going.

I saw a hash tag on Facebook the other day that I think I’m going to also start using: #itsokaynottobeokay. I think that it speak volumes especially since it still seems taboo to talk about mental health issues. I’m glad that I took up the mantle to be a voice for mental health awareness. It was sad when there was people that I knew had taken their own lives, and that’s part of why I do it. That and I have family members who also suffer from depression and I love them, and want them to have a long and wonderful life.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

Cheat Day

So, I felt like I didn’t do as well as I could have this weekend. Hell, I felt like I almost blew my hard work. I had some chips, and I snacked a bit more than I should have; at least that’s how I felt.

I also didn’t quite get the steps in for the weekend that I planned on. However, I’m pretty sure that I’ll be okay, because today. So, I cheated a bit this weekend, at least I’m determined not to be that way. I need to remind myself that I really shouldn’t have a cheat day, because it becomes a slippery slope unto other bad habits that I’ve tried to forget.

All this on top of the fact that I’ve been feeling a bit weird lately, and I’m not sure how I should be reacting to dealing with everything. I’ve got sick kids, and a wife who maybe coming down with a serious disease, and in the end, I’ve still got to keep my shit together.  I hate having my moments of weakness because it makes me feel like a failure, even when I’m not.

The think that I’ve got going is that I’m exploring more of digital special effects, and that’s making me feel better. I’ve had a good weekend, with friends, even though my kids are now really getting sick. Plus, it’s Labor Day weekend, which gives me four days off.

The leaps and bounds that I’ve gotten with Adobe After Effects…..

 

Update 9-8-18:

So, while I started this blog on Monday, I’ve been sick and dealing with life. I was able to go to my personal training session on Tuesday, and I killed it. It gave me the confidence I felt that I was lacking when I started the blog on Monday. Unfortunately, a few hours later, a sore throat and fever hit me hard and took me out for a couple of days.

Because of that, my week went to shit, sort of. As of now though, I am better. A few days of rest was something that I needed. It sucks when the body aches and the head is a bit fuzzy.

Today, we people in the small town of Ridgecrest had our annual Parade of a 1000 Flags. It’s a day to remember those we lost in the tragic events of September 11th, 2001. We as a family have been involved with the parade in various ways. We’ve walked with each of the kids schools, we’ve walked with the Boy and Girl Scouts, and have walked with the Autism Awareness group in town. Last year, we walked with our brother and sister geeks for The Geeks of The IWV. Today was a milestone as The CK Project made its public debut this year.

For the parade this year, we decided to make the letters white, to make it stand out when being represented. The letters pop a bit more. It’s limited, and it’s the start of us taking control to actually do our own merchandise. I wanted to have a simple basic look this time to represent the fact that The CK Project wants to show the beginnings of something new.

The normal blue for the letter’s represents hope. Yes, I picked that up from a comic book, and I think that hope is something that tells where the mission starts for myself personally. Dealing with my weight loss journey, and my mental health has inspired me to try and inspire others, with the hope that people find the answers that they might be looking for.

There’s been too many people lost to depression and suicide, and I wonder if they knew that they could have someone to reassure them that everything would be okay; if they would have made another choice. It gets better, and I’m the first one to admit that my head space hasn’t always been positive, and I’ve felt the bitter feelings of feeling trapped with no place to go. The thing I gained the most? I survived, and anyone who feels that shadow of doubt should be able to be reminded that they too can survive and it will get better.

Life is getting better, I’m going to be doing my weigh-in update tomorrow, and take the boy child to the gym to get our exercise on. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Hello, Loneliness…

I’ve found myself in a strange place lately. I’ve been feeling kind of alone, and yet I’m around people most of the time. Before you get all panicked, I haven’t been depressed…just felt alone. With that, I’ve been kind of stuck in my own head most of the time, and the writing has become slowed down a bit. I’ll be fine because I haven’t had any negative thoughts lately.

My weight loss journey has seemed to hit a bump, as I’m not losing like I was, but that could have been a moment of circumstance that has thrown me off. It isn’t the first time, and I know it won’t be the last time. It’s just crazy when I have all these things going on that now I would start feeling a sense of loneliness, because I know I’m not, and I have a great support system. Hell, I honestly think that it’s gotten better as I’ve gone along.

I’m reconnecting with long time friends, who I really like being around, they’re just chill people, and be told that I’m a trusted companion, makes me feel pretty damn good. I’m glad that I’m viewed as a chill individual, and laid back. It’s something I’ve tried to perfect for some time. Most of my adult life I was angry, and I don’t want to be that kind of person anymore.

Again, all of this is just my mind trying to test me, or my depression. I know that I’ll get through it because I’ve got too much actually going my way. It just sucks when I go somewhere and start feeling like I did something wrong, even if I didn’t. That’s how my brain works, and it’s a difficulty that I’ve felt with most of my life.

On the bright side, I am starting to run, or at least jog again. I need to work on endurance as well as strength. The goal is to eventually get a mile and a half run in about seventeen and a half minutes. I’m sure that I’ll get there, but I still think like a fat person. I’ve been told that is something that may never go away. It’s almost ironic that the thing I’ve been trying to escape, still is a shadow in my life. I mean, I know that I can do more things, and I am doing more things, but sometimes, it’s hard to get past the fact that I was overweight and poorly out of shape for so long that my movement was limited.

My quality of life has gotten so much better. I’m mentally, physically, and spiritually better. Yet those demons try to bring me down at times. At least I have tools in my tool kit that helps with coping with these downward trends. I’ll eventually ride this out, and I’m not too worried.

I can’t believe that it’s been nine months since my surgery. Fall is going to be here soon, and the holiday season. I guess that’s going to be the real challenge this year. The goodies that comes out during the commercial time of year. Egg Nog, cookies… well, I’m actually good about not having cookies, and I don’t think that Egg Nog is going to feel good on the stomach this year. Let’s see how the cold effects me this winter as well.

I’ve discovered that I can do things that I hadn’t been able to do in years, so I’m excited to add a few exercises to the regiment as I work out on my non-personal training days. It’s been a joy taking my son with me and teaching him to work out. One of the things that I discovered that I can do is about a minute-twenty at a four point five speed on the treadmill. I’ll take that as a win as well.

Next weekend is the parade that the CK Project makes is official public debut. I’m excited that we’re finally getting that going, as well as that we’re getting ready to announce that we’ll be taking a political stand for the LGBQT community. Let’s just say that we’ve been active in helping to establish a festival for the community for next year, and Luckey Bom Films, along with the CK Project are going to be doing a documentary on the whole process. It’s going to be a learning experience, as we become more involved with the process.

Anyway, this is the director and that’s a wrap.

“With A Little Help From My Friends”

An amazing part of a good support system can be found in your friends. This is usually a fine line to skate because you don’t really know who your true friends are until the rough times come along. There’s been a few times where I’ve been in a shitty spot, and I’ve seen who my real friends are. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve not always been the best person, to some of my friends.

I still associate with people who only seem to hit me up when they need something. It’s sad that they don’t always just want to say hi, and se how I’m doing, but I’m always hoping for the best in people, and sometimes that’s my down fall. That reality hits when trying to help someone better their situation, but then they don’t take the assistance. Often times that becomes a hard pill to swallow, as I’ve realized that I can’t save everyone.

Then the often tragic results end with showing waisted potential and a future of promise getting flushed down the toilet. Hard pill to swallow indeed. I guess that happens to be because I read too many comics, and I might have a white knight in shining armor….I really don’t know, but I want to help people.

The best feeling is when people reach out and tell me that I’ve been an inspiration to them. I’m glad people decide to better themselves. It’s rewarding to hear that people see that I can do it, and they want to have that same feeling of accomplishment. I think it keeps me, or hell, it probably puts me in a place to be humble. That’s something I hadn’t always been. I used to have this feeling of entitlement, and that I was owed something. I can’t even remember why I was that way, or how things changed….

The best feelings that I’ve been getting since my surgery is when people seem to not recognize me. Having a sense of humor, there’s often banter about how I need to get smaller clothes because what I’m wearing is looking way to big on me. It’s rewarding to know that other’s pay attention to my work, and cheer me on. It’s an even better feeling that my own personal feelings on how I’m starting to feel in my body.

I had a friend go through the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy  surgery a couple of days ago. I’m proud of the progress she went through, even before the surgery. Her name is Terri and her blog is https://changingtodaytolivetomorrow.wordpress.com. We meet in October of last year at a Society of Creative Anachronism event called Great Western War. She’s a sweet lady, and amazing cook! With us both being heavy set, we found common struggles, and we also geek out together a bit.

I’m giving huge shout outs to the people who are looking to better their health, and being told that I was apart of that decision, makes me happy. For those who are doing this, I have a project for you: Send me your before pics, and send up follow up pics so that people can join in and be apart of your support system. I’m going to be one of your biggest advocates, and I come with a shit ton of people who I’m sure will be willing to get behind your progress.

Even if you don’t feel comfortable about documenting your own progress, if you want- I’m willing to help out there. This weight loss journey has changed my life around so much, and I’ve grown as a person and so many positive things have happened because of it. It’s amazing, you’re amazing, and this will be the most amazing journey that you’ll ever take! I got you there.

If you want to get the kind of exposure that I’m getting and are doing something to get yourself out there, send me a message and I’ll do all I can to help boost your signal too. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.