Cheat Day

So, I felt like I didn’t do as well as I could have this weekend. Hell, I felt like I almost blew my hard work. I had some chips, and I snacked a bit more than I should have; at least that’s how I felt.

I also didn’t quite get the steps in for the weekend that I planned on. However, I’m pretty sure that I’ll be okay, because today. So, I cheated a bit this weekend, at least I’m determined not to be that way. I need to remind myself that I really shouldn’t have a cheat day, because it becomes a slippery slope unto other bad habits that I’ve tried to forget.

All this on top of the fact that I’ve been feeling a bit weird lately, and I’m not sure how I should be reacting to dealing with everything. I’ve got sick kids, and a wife who maybe coming down with a serious disease, and in the end, I’ve still got to keep my shit together.  I hate having my moments of weakness because it makes me feel like a failure, even when I’m not.

The think that I’ve got going is that I’m exploring more of digital special effects, and that’s making me feel better. I’ve had a good weekend, with friends, even though my kids are now really getting sick. Plus, it’s Labor Day weekend, which gives me four days off.

The leaps and bounds that I’ve gotten with Adobe After Effects…..

 

Update 9-8-18:

So, while I started this blog on Monday, I’ve been sick and dealing with life. I was able to go to my personal training session on Tuesday, and I killed it. It gave me the confidence I felt that I was lacking when I started the blog on Monday. Unfortunately, a few hours later, a sore throat and fever hit me hard and took me out for a couple of days.

Because of that, my week went to shit, sort of. As of now though, I am better. A few days of rest was something that I needed. It sucks when the body aches and the head is a bit fuzzy.

Today, we people in the small town of Ridgecrest had our annual Parade of a 1000 Flags. It’s a day to remember those we lost in the tragic events of September 11th, 2001. We as a family have been involved with the parade in various ways. We’ve walked with each of the kids schools, we’ve walked with the Boy and Girl Scouts, and have walked with the Autism Awareness group in town. Last year, we walked with our brother and sister geeks for The Geeks of The IWV. Today was a milestone as The CK Project made its public debut this year.

For the parade this year, we decided to make the letters white, to make it stand out when being represented. The letters pop a bit more. It’s limited, and it’s the start of us taking control to actually do our own merchandise. I wanted to have a simple basic look this time to represent the fact that The CK Project wants to show the beginnings of something new.

The normal blue for the letter’s represents hope. Yes, I picked that up from a comic book, and I think that hope is something that tells where the mission starts for myself personally. Dealing with my weight loss journey, and my mental health has inspired me to try and inspire others, with the hope that people find the answers that they might be looking for.

There’s been too many people lost to depression and suicide, and I wonder if they knew that they could have someone to reassure them that everything would be okay; if they would have made another choice. It gets better, and I’m the first one to admit that my head space hasn’t always been positive, and I’ve felt the bitter feelings of feeling trapped with no place to go. The thing I gained the most? I survived, and anyone who feels that shadow of doubt should be able to be reminded that they too can survive and it will get better.

Life is getting better, I’m going to be doing my weigh-in update tomorrow, and take the boy child to the gym to get our exercise on. This is the director and that’s a wrap.