Break On Through Past The Plateau Side

Well, I weighed-in Tuesday. I know that I’ve been saying that I’ve been scared to see if I would end up with another weigh-in saying 293. something, but I did it, and I’m glad to report that I moved down another two pounds. I’m down to 291.3 with 138.6 total loss so far.

When the numbers go down on the scale, it’s always a good feeling, and this time it seemed bitter sweet. I realize that it’s not the fantastic numbers that I used to get, but it’s still a hell of a win in my book.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Not only that, but Sarah finally had her appointment to see the doctor, and we now have an idea of what it is she’s going through. Crohn’s disease, while not the best news about her health, I had a feeling that was what it probably was, and now we can take the steps forward to treating it. I feel that the rough patch may finally be over.

So in the morning, I will be going in for my eleven month check-up for my weight loss surgery. I can’t believe that it’s been almost a year since I did this thing. It’s crazier to think about how much my life has changed since then. Both physically and mentally, I am in the best spot that I’ve ever been. A journey that will never be regretted.

Stepping up the intensity of my workouts, and getting more consistent steps in for my days is helping me go down in more weight. As of tonight, I’ve done five days of ten thousand steps plus, so I’m feeling really accomplished, and I’m going to try and get at least eight days in a row by the time I’m done.

Now I’m also working on some aspects of my life so that we can really get the brands up and making money. I’m not looking to make a whole lot of money right away, but it would be nice to be able to add at least a couple hundred bucks a month to help invest in other areas in my life.

With that being said, I’m looking to offer other services, as in links to products and services that I would probably support. We’re still in the investigative stages of getting our merchandise off the ground. So the adventure of finding several other avenues of income to help get the dream going is taking some focus currently.  I’m also looking into starting a Patreon for my followers. The marketing part of this business thing gets to be one of the more difficult parts to do.

Thank God that I have my creative side. That seems to be the one thing that seems to make sense in my life. The rest of it is needed to help me get the various projects funded so that I can bring out the highest quality work that I can give everybody.

I’ll update everyone on the results of tomorrow, and this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Phase Two: The Prep

This has been an eventful week. The things that I’ve been doing are working on getting the production company going with a meeting that happened yesterday. I also have done my first week of personal training, with four out of six days with over 10k steps so far. Plus I got cleared to return to full duty. So, allow me to break this up into organized sections, as I fill you in about the week.

The biggest part about my week is that I’ve been pushing myself more physically through my workouts, and my walking. Yes, I’ve been sore, yes it kind of sucked by the time that Thursday hit, and I wasn’t moving very well, and no, I don’t wanna quit. I’ve been physical with other things as well, as I helped some friends a little with a wind turnt horse corral. We moved a little bit, because it was going to take more people to get the whole thing done, but I helped as I could. The problem there is I never feel like I did enough.

The I did almost 11k steps today, and I was working on what is going to be our studio. The sweeping and tearing down of the walls so that we can fix the issues at hand and rebuild. I actually felt more accomplished, I just wish that I did more. I know that there wasn’t much more I could really do, but I have a work horse mentality when it comes to these things(I’m the same way when working on movies, and other projects as well).

Now we’ll carry on to the Luckey Bom Film part of the blog. I’ve been fortunate to be able to multi-task and set up the first production meeting of the year. So, the question is: How do we move forward? Well, we are going to be adding people to the team. Which means that the machine is getting bigger, and we need to learn to make the bigger machine run smoother.

So, this brings up another point: How do we make the machine run smoother? Well, with only one real project under our belt, we need to start bringing out more content. That was what the meeting was about yesterday- to start expanding the team, and start producing more content. We’re well on our way to getting the next project, which will be a short, started, and I look forward to getting the filming started. Filming shorts are going the way that we become a far more well oiled machine, and will be the best way to produce an amount of content at a rather quick pace, in comparison to a feature length film. This is a great way for the creative team to work on more things, and exercise the creative muscles.

While yesterday was Friday the thirteenth, it’s funny that most people seem to find it a day of bad luck. I find it a silly superstition, because the day’s always seemed to work opposite for me. I got married on a Friday the thirteenth, I got my real estate license on that day in 2005. The most recent being that I was called for a job interview that I had to turn down, because they weren’t willing to do a Skype interview, and the job was half way across the country.

I’m going to take that as a sign that things are really going to be taking off for what I’ve been working towards soon. I’ve been staying positive, and I’ve been trying not to waver from that positivity and patience, because I know the reward is going to pay-off in the end. This journey has been in the making for at least four years. Seven if I really think of when I was wanting to go into the career field that I was interested in, even before my meltdown.

Again, things are moving forward, and I can’t be more excited. I’ll be weighing in on Friday, as I’ll be at an event out of town next weekend, so there will be an update there. As always, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap!

Let’s Get It Started?

Okay, this has officially been a long week. It’s the beginning of April and we’re already hitting eighty degree weather. I call bullshit on that, as it just reminds me that we’re in for a horribly hot summer. This is why I hate that I have to be outside for ten hour shifts at work. That’s my biggest complain about the week though.

So, now we get to business, as my locations for where I work tend to change around, except the fact that my physical has kept me in one or two places for the last month or so. I’ve been making at least 7,000 steps a day while at work. The stairs are kind of a bitch, but at least it’s keeping me going, and I feel accomplished, even if I haven’t hit that many 10k steps this week, but I’ve  only been about 1,000 off most days.

The biggest thing about this week has been that I’m realizing that I’m going to have to give in and get new uniforms soon. The truth is, my current uniforms are starting to get too big for me. I guess that happens when I’ve lost close to a hundred pounds.

I went out of town today for some business, and when that got handled we decided to stop by a mall that has a Destination XL. The beautiful part is that I decided to try on a pair of shorts that has a forty-four waist. I haven’t worn that size in over a decade. It was still a bit tight, and I think that I’m going to hold off for another ten or so pounds before I invest in a pair, but it feels damn good to know that I’m about the size before my son was born.

The motivation is still strong, and I’m finding that I’m able to connect with more people because of this huge weight loss movement that I’ve undertaken. I like being there to motivate and help those who need the help. Even after all this time, I still feel amazed that I can be the inspiration that people need to change their lives. That is a powerful realization. What makes it more so, is the fact that I take that responsibility very serious.

The hardest part about taking that kind of responsibility, was that I wish that I had taken it so much more serious. I’ve seen people reach the point of no return, and it’s not just with weight, but depression issues as well. I wish I had not be blinded by my own internal turmoil because I feel that I should have been doing something so much sooner.

It’s been about two weekends since I last weighed in and tomorrow is my four month check-up. The family is excited to find out what the latest numbers are. I’m excited as well, but I’d be lying if the thought of plateauing didn’t bother me. I know that I’ve got a long way to go, but things have gone well so far. Once I start with my trainer next week. I don’t think that I’ll be so worried, it’ll be time to cut more of the fat, and faster.

Since the weather has gotten nicer, I’m going to start that hiking club that I was talking about in some of the blogs before. That’s exciting, and if things take off, I also have a CK Project shirt in the design stages, as well as a Luckey Bom Films  shirt. It’s a crazy concept, yet very exciting to know that I’m about to start bringing out merchandise for my creations. It’s surreal, yet it’s happening. I’m gonna have to thank my good friend at Sticky Prints for being willing to work with me. I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to how my “businesses” are going too be represented.

So much excitement is happening, and the production company’s about to have a meeting next week, to discuss expanding, and where we’re going to go for our next project. It feels good to feel accomplished, and I know that things are just starting… Just wait to see where we’re going to be in a year, in five years! Too much potential, and I love the team that I work with. I’ve been talking to a few more people about working with them. I think good things will come out of these connections that I’m making.

Any way, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap!

Phase 2: What’s Next?

As I seem to finally be getting all my “ducks in a row”, I can’t help but think of the growth that this month has brought me. First, I’ve really started getting into the free lance thing, and I’m currently building my connections to work with other people in the future. I should be doing more videos soon, and not just for the film side of things, but I also think that it’s about time for the CK Project to start coming out with somethings too.

Which leads me to the second “duck”. I’ve been really pushing the weight loss part of the project since before my surgery, and I stand firm on how I’m moving forward. The walking will continue, even if I’ve slacked for a couple of days. After all I did walk over thirty-one miles over the convention weekend. I’m so close to the one hundred pound mark that I’ll be excited if that’s where I’ll be weighing in at my four month check up.

I have to keep mindful of slacking off, because getting back into old habits isn’t hard to do. Even my studying has tapered off. In my defense, this has been a crazy month, and I’m getting back on track for things(notice the blog coming out today). I have to keep going, because there are other’s looking up to me as a role model. It’s crazy to think that I would be where I am right now in my life. Good thing that I’m doing my best to be a positive beacon.

I was having a conversation with a friend today, and she told me that my motivation and positive energy has affected her, and that she’s been trying to do more for her family. I’m glad that I could help. That’s the turning point for me, when I decided that I wanted to help others and not just myself. That’s just part of the mental change for me.

Speaking of the mental change, I’m having more problems focusing at my current job, because there’s more passion in the other side in my life. I can’t wait to be dealing with that side full-time, and be able to get paid for it. I’m not trying to get rich by any means, but I know that I can do better than I have now, and I can support my family better. At this, I have moments that I feel my patience is wavering. Which another friend says that it seems like it would be common for my situation.

I think that losing the weight has also helped me mentally. Now I’m not so down on myself because I’m feeling trapped in my body. I’m actually feeling different, with the way I stand, my confidence(which on a side note, hasn’t really ever been a problem), and overall, I’m feeling better in health than I have in the last fifteen years.

I love how people are encouraging me, and telling me to keep it up. I kind of think that it’s funny that people would say that too me. This has been a lot of work, even with the surgery, don’t you think that I would want to keep it off. I’ve been fat most of my life, I’m ready for the time I’m not shaped like the Kool-aid man. Believe me, I’ve seen some people kind of stop doing what it takes to keep off the weight, and it isn’t worth it to me, in my book.

Finally, I’m getting my geek media started. The Geekultural Expereince. This was something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I never really had a name for it. The last name we had was Geek on Geek, but I realized that’s kind of over done, and I wanted something more unique, and why not. Geek, Culture, Experience; it just made sense to me. Look for the first pod cast this weekend, and we’ll be dropping it on Saturday, March thirty-first.

This was just a small update, and as always, this is the director and that’s a wrap.

39th Year of a Life

Yesterday was my birthday, and I’ve been on this Earth for thirty-nine years. I had so many people wish me a happy birthday, that it feels good to know that people actually do think about me. I have friends, and family, that’s a great feeling to know the appreciation of being apart of people’s lives. Let’s look at the retrospect of life in the past year, shall we?

The first thing to note is that I’m a blogger, and I’ve been doing this for the last year and a half now. I started it for a class, because we’re to build our own websites. This happened to be my first. My second is my portfolio/promotional website: https://ckeeling.myportfolio.com/home-page feel free to check it out. It shows of a bit of my work, and it’s a great way to promote one of my “brands”. I kept my WordPress website, because I wanted to have a place to put my work, this particular site(because I have two) became the place where I decided to try my hand at blogging. As a writer, I thought that this would be a great way to practice. It has been so much fun putting my thoughts out into the cyber space.

The second reason that I find that blogging has helped me grow as a person and has been therapeutic at times when I’ve been depressed, and it’s helped to sort out some of my thoughts. Plus it’s been a great way to network with people with shared interests. It helps when people have gone through common experiences, when they come together in support. Sadly, not everyone seems to “get” that. I’ve been enlightened to other’s plights this way.

This last year was the year to start getting the new me ready for the world! I’d been trying to get to a place where I could be happy with myself, and it’s taken a long time to get to that point. This was the year that forced my hand to make those drastic changes. I was done being trapped in the flesh casing that was bringing me down and I decided to get weight loss surgery.Patient_Image 12_04_17 10_57_29

This was what I looked like 12/4/17. I had lost about thirty pounds by this time and today I look like this:

 

I feel so much better about myself, and this is just the beginning. I’ve been trying to watch what I eat, and I’m also moving so much easier. For the longest time, I had this mass sitting on the middle of my chest that just prevented me from doing anything comfortably, and now that it’s gone I can move faster, longer, and clothes fit better.

The other big thing that happened this year took three years to complete and that was to get my Bachelor’s of Science degree in Digital Filmmaking with a 3.76 GPA. I’ve never put so much time and effort in any class like this before and I’m happy to have finished with school. Now, I’m making efforts to better myself professionally.25588135_10209494932724657_3328647117328513282_o

I’m looking for a job that I can apply my degree in, and I’ve also been working on my own independent production company for over the last year as well. I love the process of writing and then getting people to become my characters, and having the chance to direct them. Yes, I think thirty-nine is the year that amazing things are going to happen for me, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Could You Speak Up, You’re Being Too Loud.

This has been a hectic few months, I for one have been totally focused on school, and not much of anything else. At least I wrote a little something last month. Not only have I been busy with school, but I’ve been trying to get myself to relax a bit since my anxiety about getting everything done has been high.

The big one- Nash Gray has a fully edited version that has been complete. I turned it into the teacher, and I seemed to have done very well on it. This version isn’t going to be seen by too many people as I want to have a final go with the whole film to tighten up some scenes, and come out with the best version of this film. There are so many people that I want to thank for this deal. First and foremost, my wife Sarah. She’s been through this whole adventure with me, beginning three years ago when I took the step forward and go back to school. For this project, she was the assistant that I needed when I needed her.

I want to thank Ed Smith, my friend and creative partner. He gave me his ideas and we worked on them until we could come up with a story that would work for our first time doing a movie together. Ed was reluctant about playing the musical persona that has been his for over twenty years and I think he did well, and I was more than happy to bring life to the rest of his band.

Not too be out done, Celeste Joy Greer, my cinematographer. Her experience and guidance has helped me develop my “camera eye” and I’ve become a better filmmaker because of her. A thousand thank you’s would never be enough to show the gratitude I have, and I can’t wait until we get started on the next big thing.

Also, big thanks go out to Alisa Wiggin for coming in and doing makeup. It was a joy to have you do something you love for me. Kurt Mitchell, thanks for stepping in and doing sound, I appreciate that we could work together again, you are now and will always be a good friend to me. Also to Terry Bays, thank you for everything you’ve ever done when I’ve asked, you stepped up when I needed you, but my concern is with your health brother, and that’s why I had you take a step back. You’re family and we love you. I need you around for plenty of other things. A final crew thanks goes out to my friend Rodney Connors; we’ve acted together, you’ve acted for me, but I appreciate that you helped my cast this thing, and found our counter to Nash in Celese.

Now onto the cast, Ed seeing you come out and perform was awesome, glad you got the bug now. Curtis Koller, you had the chance to play Benny Kelley, and that wasn’t an easy task to play the tragic character of this movie. You stepped up not only as acting, but crewed as well, and I appreciate you being a part of this team. Dean, you playing Jake is against character for you, and while it started out rough, you really found yourself in this character and I’m glad that you enjoyed doing the work as well. Freddy Ferris Jr., it was nice to add a new face to the people I’ve been lucky enough to work with and I’m glad that you were apart of this process. You really dedicated to the role of Andy King, and I am glad to call you friend.

For the females of this film. Celese Sanders, you who lead the charge of female bad ass. Thanks for coming in and putting up with the hot room and warm weather. It was fun, and I also count myself to have made a friend out of you. Britney Brown, the one person that I wrote a role specifically for. Thank you for bringing your A game the entire time, even at the casting call. You’re talented and I look forward to seeing what you do in the future, if I find myself writing a character that needs your talent, I’m gonna get a hold of you. Finally, Amber Still, my stage wife, and friend. Thank you! I love your talent, and hope that we’ll find a chance to work together again as well.

For the final thank you…..To every single teacher that I’ve had put input into this Capstone project, you’re advice and guidance helped me, and I think I got a decent first film out of this. I know that the way I went with this project was a bit ambitious, but it was well worth the story to have been told in the end.

Not to forget the friends and family who said yes to allowing us to film at your places. Thank you for letting us film there, and I’m glad you all didn’t feel too put out by this filmmaker. Plus the owner and operator of KSSI radio on 102.1fm, thanks for doing the narration for me Jon. You are awesome and I’ll always support your radio station.

I’m gonna leave the thank you’s here for now, and call it a wrap, but I’m gonna put something out soon to explain more on where I’ve been, and what the future holds.

Give Me That Boss Level XP

Let me start off by saying that today didn’t go quite like I expected it too. We were supposed to film backstage footage for the first flash back of Nash Gray, but illness has gone through a few of my cast members(and it was running so smoothly too). So, today caused a break in filming, and I’m okay with that because the next few weekends are going to be quite busy for me in other aspects besides school. Instead, it gave me some time to come to the studio and make plans for when we do next shoot(silver linings people), and it has given me sometime to actually sit down to work on my rough cut of the film(kind of useful, killing two birds with one stone). That’s when the concern started hitting me.

As I got what footage I have for the beginning, I discovered that right before I get to the first flash back, I’m already at the four minute mark. I’m concerned because there are things that I still need to film, and I only have fifteen minutes to tell my story. Do I go ahead and finish filming the scene I was supposed to film today? Or do I cut it all together? Truth of the matter, I’m not sure how I’m feeling about the pace of what I have so far as it is, and I’m sure I can shave things down to make it flow better, but what if I have to cut that bitch up a bit to make it flow better? I’m not even completely sure where to start looking to trim that fat.

The one thing I do know is that I really want to film everything and give the fifteen minutes to my project, and then go back for an extended cut that has everything in it. I know that I’m biased by saying that I love this project, and the characters are wonderful as well. The other problem that I face is that waiting on finishing my film is kind of cutting into my editing time, which I’m trying to think of ways to just edit what I have and fill in the gaps as I can, I might be able to solve that problem, and I do have an idea of what I need to do first.

Again I will say that this has been the most amazing experience ever, and I don’t think that I’m all that surprised that I ran into a snag towards the end of this project. Actually, I was kind of expecting this to happen somewhere, I just thought our last day of filming was going to be that day. I’m a creative problem solver, so I’m sure I’ll get a solution before the end of the weekend. I just sent a text out to help solve part of this issue.

I have however thought of another way to use my time…. I think that I’m going to go ahead and also work on said scripts that I’ve been working on the last couple of days, and use this time to relax a bit. It’s crazy that I’ve been running on full steam for so long that I’m not completely sure what to do, but I think playing video games and watching movies are part of that plan. Something might give me an inspiration, and I’m looking for that almost anywhere anymore. I went to my son’s awards assembly and here a name called. Arizona Smith, and I thought that it sounded like the wife of Indiana Jones. I’m not sure if I’m ready to write an adventure genre yet, but you never know.

While not filmmaking related, I do want to give a huge shout out to my wife, as we are celebrating our seventeenth year of our first date. She’s a better person than I, because I wouldn’t put up with the shit I do. I’m too ornery, and there’s been too many tears shed because I’ve done something stupid. Alas, I love you my wife, and as long as you continue to join me on this crazy ride, I’ll welcome the company. You’ve been with me through many ups and downs, and now you have a husband who’s been more driven to do things now, than ever. She supports me, and I try to support her as well, but I don’t think I’m nearly as good at it as she is.

Two months of school left and then into the great unknown. I have a few job prospects, and surprisingly is has nothing to do with the Hollywood Dream, not that I’m apposed to the idea, but I’m really liking being able to create my own content, or working with someone else on the creative process. I might still look for something to crew for on a big movie, I just don’t think I’m in a big rush for that. Right now, it’s all about taking it one step at a time, and I don’t want to get sloppy in my growth process.

Another thing going on is that we are going to be doing a change of venues for our studio, and that’s going to put us out of a studio for several months, but I do plan on still doing things, even if it has to be from the house itself. I’m sure things are going to be awesome afterward, because we’ll have more space to play in and it’s going to be built from the essential ground up. The beautiful part of that is that I get to say how it gets designed, and I look forward to adding studio lighting too it(even if it’s expensive, which it is). I guess that also means that I’ll have to become extremely proficient in green screen since that plan is to paint the walls that way. It’s both exciting, and going to be so much work, but the reward will be reaped once everything is done, and who ever said that if it was worth doing, that it would be easy. Not a cliche that I’ve heard. I know that hard work’s the only way things will work, and I’ve proven that I’m not afraid of it because I went to school with my fists swinging to get this done.

This looks like it’s going to be another wrap from me, the Director.

 

You Can’t Catch The Time That Flew

What a weekend this has been! I can’t believe that I’ve been going strong all weekend long. Friday, we filmed. Saturday, we did a Parade of 1000 Flags, and an event for the Relay for Life, with a car show, and fund raiser. I only stated part way because I was uploading the dailies from Friday(which means a timeline of all the footage filmed), and I tried to get my homework for the week down. Today, we filmed, and I’m uploading my dailies from today, as a matter of fact, they are encoding right now.

So, with that being said, there were lesson learned this weekend from the director/filmmakers point of view. One, maybe plan on being on site a couple hours early, because things can take longer than expected, when getting started. It felt like we were running behind schedule every shoot day that we had. I think we could have better planned it, and maybe with more people with a larger skill pool might be able to get everything done on set sooner.

Second thing learned- it doesn’t hurt to quadruple check-in and make sure everyone is on the same page(I hate when people flake out). I get that this being a non-paid gig, might turn people off from working, but if you say that you will, please be a person of your word. I’m trying to get to the point of actually making money while doing this, and being able to pay people to film my projects.

Third, plan on filming only a few scenes per day, I think that what I was doing and with all the shots and angles, I felt like I didn’t quite get everything filmed the way I wanted, but at least I do have some good choices to pick from. I had to drop part of the scene, but having extra batteries and memory cards will help with that. I think we over worked the machinery.

Fourth, I discovered that I don’t have time for unprofessionalism on my set, while I love who I work with, I’m too focused to have to deal with people goofing off during filming. I mean seriously, I’m trying to make a name for myself, and this is my calling card to get there. Help me get my calling card and I’ll be able to pay you.

Fifth, with this crew I’m working with, I have a few new people and it really is becoming a well oiled team. I’m glad to bring in the people that I have. My cinematographer has brought an experienced eye to the game, and it’s seemed to bring my game up a bit, and I’m proud of the way we work together. I think it took to first day to find our rhythm, but I think we’re on the verge of getting things done at a better pace.

The final thing I’m really discovering is that post production is going to be the saving grace, because we can fix our mistakes there. Also, my cinematographer has experience there and we’ll be able to have a productive work flow there. I can’t say that I’ve ever been this excited and nervous about doing a project in my life. It started to feel a bit overwhelming, but I’ve gained confidence in the process and the support that I have behind me.

As a side note, learning the financial part of getting this movie made is also a wondrous experience, and this is something that I can put in my hat for the next big project. This is the director, coming off of the first week of filming #NashGray, and that’s a wrap.

Doomsday Clock IS Ticking?!?

I’m sitting here, on my couch(and not at the studio), thinking about tomorrow. This is a big day, and this is the day the thoughts become tangible. Luckey Bom Films first real production, complete with on set locations and a larger crew than I’ve ever worked with(yes, I know I’ve said this before), but it still puts me in awe of the amazing things and amazing people that I have gotten to work with. I’m ready for this adventure!

Again, and yes I also know that this has been mentioned, I’m down to my last three months of school. That’s fucking insane! How the hell did I get this far? I mean first I was off of work, then I was prepping for life outside of my current career, and poof, I started film school and I’m almost finished with it. Three months and I’ll have a Bachelors degree in Digital Filmmaking. With that, the real fun begins as I start to look for work, and work on other projects that I’ve gotten started, and polishing up my demo reel. This is where the insanity comes in from.

The craziest part of this whole scenario is the fact that I’m loving the busy that I’ve got going on. I love the projects that I get to work on, and the learning I’m doing besides my school work. I plan on being a jack-of-all-trades when it comes to the entertainment business. The best part is that I’ll have a bit of free time to actually sit back and learn all the new stuff that I hadn’t had the time for(I’m coming for you Adobe After Effects). I can hear Little Chris saying, “Dad, make me into the Flash, I’ll put on my costume for you.” My kid’s are the cutest, and they’re excited that they get to be apart of this amazing adventure with me. Chris wants to learn how to use the camera, and Lily’s interest is in practical effects at this time.

One of the more interesting aspects that I started to learn about this week was about using Indiegogo and trying to crowd fund my project. I did start reaching out to friends, and I see some support starting to show up. Most have to wait until they get paid before they can contribute. Let me say this now, Thank you for helping out, it means so much that you’re interested in seeing where I can go with my artistic vision, and I won’t forget you when I make something out of myself and my ragtag crew of friends helping me out. It’s starting slow, but I think as we go and I gain momentum, I’ll put out a trailer, and some snippets to try and entice people into helping getting this funded. I started with a $500 limit to test the waters, but if I could get more, than that would be so amazing, and I could use that money to get better equipment and supplies for the film, and some nice food that would help keep our own pockets safe from the harsh realities of debt.

Speaking of  Indiegogo, I’ve got to learn how to market better, this is something I haven’t failed to notice, but it would help me draw more attention to my YouTube pages as well, and maybe my blogging. So, with this crowd funding, I’m looking on creative perks to drive interest for things we can offer. Why not a Nash Gray mug, or some really cool crap like that? I wouldn’t mind having one(especially since I made the logo).

I think one of the best parts of this experience is that I’m bringing in my eldest offspring to help do make-up on the largest days of shooting, you know with the whole cast type of deal. I’m glad that I have the wife and kids on this project, maybe they’ll want to do more in the future(assuming that they don’t want to kill me first).

Well, tomorrow’s the big day, and I should get cleaned up and go to sleep. I’ve got plenty to do this weekend, and all of it isn’t about filming the movie. As we’ve been doing for most of the last week we’re gonna #DoItForAndy, #NashGray #BennyMightLive. This is the director, and that’s another wrap.

Aw Man, What Was I Thinking

I’m glad the I decided to start my own production company. I love being my own boss, but a the same time, I’m looking to go out there and work for other people. Especially since I want the experience so that I can become a better filmmaker in my own right. I’ve gotten the chance to pick with kinds of projects that I work on, and this has been the most fun experience that I’ve had as a professional. There are days though that seem like they might just be too much.

Because I decided to go on in this business venture, it’s not been the easiest of choices. Now as I come to the closing chapters of my schooling and getting that degree, I’ve come to the point where I need to start focusing on becoming a business person as well. There have been challenges in this aspect, and I’m contemplating decisions that I might not like making, but it comes with the territory.

The other part of this is the fact that “anything worth doing, is never easy”. What truth that quote holds. You try and do the right thing, say like adopt a child in need. That’s difficult in and of itself. Deciding on a major career change, is a challenge when you’ve been doing something for so long, that is all you feel you’re qualified for.  Being in love and making that work, is not always the easiest thing to do either. Yet, there are reason’s that drive us to do these things.

Weight loss surgery is something else I’ve decided on, because being a person who feels trapped in a body that I didn’t bargain for is how I feel. I can’t move as much as I like, I hate the way I look in pictures, and I don’t like that all the clothes I can wear are expensive as hell. I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror. So, I have a very negative look on my own self image, and I hide it with an over confident attitude. It’s worked for me so far, and I know that charisma is something I do have.

I also know that these decisions that I’v made in the last few years are going to put me in a financial spot that I’m going to have to overcome, but I have faith that I will, because that’s always been the story of my life. I’ve got to have that drive to keep going, because I’ve got responsibilities, and that drive is always good for the artist. Yes, it may mean that I have to put that much extra work to get there, but I’ll do what I must.

So, this is my determination: I’m going to lose the weight and change my life style to maintain the weight loss. I’m going to do everything in my power to become the best damn filmmaker that I can. I’ll go ahead and do what I can to learn from professionals and craft my trade of choice. I can’t just let the haters win, who said that I needed to get real and go get a “practical job”. I need to get that career that betters my station and ignore the comments of being a part of the “hamburger brothers”.

I’m going to do this so that I can show my kids that it’s not bad to want something and work hard for it. I’ve always been able to make friends, and have some of the best people believe in me, so I don’t want to disappoint them, and I want to show them my gratitude for being the supports they are. I want to be able to provide better for my family because we should have to feel trapped in a situation that needs growth. I want to let my loved one’s know that I do love them, and I want to be there for them. I want to feel like a better person than I sometimes do.

While there are good things, I know that I’ve had many negative people come into my life and plant those seeds of doubt. I’m here to send them all away because all they’ve ever done was motivate me even more. Drive me more, make me successful, that’s what I want. I do what I have to, in both survival, and supporting my family. I will prevail.

This is the director and that is a wrap. https://igg.me/at/ZmRcVWz8R24/x/17178142 Support this.