It’s no secret that I’ve been stuck in about the same five pounds for the last few months. It actually feels like an eternity now, but I know that’s not the case. Being stuck between 260-265 isn’t the worst thing that could happen. Yet, it’s a little discouraging at the same time. Now, when I first hit 265 I wasn’t fitting into some of the clothes I wear as good as I do now. What does this mean?
It feels that I’ve been dropping the fat still, but the balance between muscle and fat is going through a different ratio. Is there such a thing as a fat 265, compared to a thin 265? I guess this is where the next part of my weight loss journey is going to take me. Again, everything is a learning experience, and I’m still learning to be a bit more mindful of my carb intake.
I find it surprising in what some of those things that are high in carbs are. I was looking at a Sobe Green Tea yesterday, and noticed that it had like forty-four grams of carbs. In a green tea, are you kidding me? Or if I’m looking at a low carb meal, the sodium is way up there. I’m like come on for fucks sakes. At least the Tuna I eat is low in carbs, and the sodium doesn’t seem so bad.
Again with life’s lessons: take the good with the bad. You can’t have the perfect anything. It goes to show that picking your poison isn’t so far off from just being cliche.
I think the next step in all this is too actually learn how to keep track of my macros. Keep a calorie/protein/carb count. A food journal would probably be best, yet I hate the idea of having to keep myself accountable for everything I eat. I hated it when it came to Weight Watchers. Shit! I think I just talked myself into it. It would be another way to hold myself accountable, and it might make me a bit more honest about what I actually do eat.
It’s strange to feel that I’ve come to a point that I have to change things up a bit to find a better way to get results. I’ve started to lift heavier, which will help burn the fat, and I’m trying to add the intensity to my workouts. It was getting to a point where I was getting it in, but the weights were becoming a bit too easy to do. One the plus side, lighter weights do tend to help with form. I’m learning that you can always improve on that though.
I need to still set up an appointment with my doctor for my next check up and start talking about the skin removal surgery. I think part of me is hesitating because of the fact that I want to be under 260 before I go, and another part of me isn’t looking forward to the recovery time. With that, I think there’s a bit of vanity that doesn’t look forward to the scaring from the removal. I have enough scars on my body as it is, but I’m being silly.
I continue to keep the course of getting everything done. I’ve put more commitment into this journey than any previous attempts, and I’m not looking back. I do falter at times, but I’ve come to the point that I just pick it up again the next day. Something I would sabotage myself in the past.
Something else that used to keep me down was the lack of will power, while I saw food, I would eat food. Now isn’t something that I have too many problems with these days. I can say no to cakes and sweets. Something that I wouldn’t turn down in the past. As I reflect, my journey has come a long ways, and I continue to grow on a personal level.
I’ve been happy to see that my friends have been inspired by what I’ve been doing and in turn taking their lives back and improving themselves. It’s not all about just having the weight loss journey for their stories, by over coming anxiety, pushing themselves out of the comfort zone to try something new, and to expand their horizons.
I know that in the end, this is all just another mental game that I need to overcome. Part of my problem is my brain still tells me when “I’m hungry” and that isn’t always the truth. Boredom still seems to dictate me eating at times. While it isn’t always there, it does creep in there from time to time. Again, mental game, and I need to keep the focus.
As I slip, I’m not always upset because I know that there is always the next time for me to continue to complete my goals, that a slip up isn’t the end of the road like so many people would think it to be. I know that there are so many who would feel like giving up with the stalls that I’ve seen. I’m fortunate enough to know that I will continue to improve myself and that the path isn’t always a downward slope.
Following the boards that I do on Facebook, and Twitter, I read how people will stall after several months and just want to give up. I know how frustrating it is, and the stalls that I have gotten into seem to last forever, but in reality are just for such a short time. I just have to keep telling myself that I’ve got this.
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