Viva Las Graduation, I Lost Something….

Well, Friday I graduated from Los Angeles Film School and went to Las Vegas to celebrate with Sarah and my girl Echo. I’d like to share Friday’s ceremony though. It started at noon, and there was about three sets of groups that graduated. I was in the second group of Digital Filmmaking students. I want to say that we were one of the first groups that graduated from the online portion of the school.

The occasion was bitter sweet, but was made better by the fact that I was able to graduate with the most important people in my life; my parents, my children, Sarah, and Echo. We were able to take a few minutes and give a speech, so I thanked the people who came with me, and some of my production crew, and the school for being there for me in the time of need.

I still have more that I wanted to say: This is our time, this is the time that the industry is changing, and it’s our responsibility to usher in the new wave of equality, and bash out the corrupt power that takes advantage of the less powerful. Whatever color, creed, sexual orientation, we are equal, and that’s the way it should be. I’ve been blessed with a great group of people that I’ve been able to work with and meet. The network is just going to get bigger, and I can’t wait to work with the new friends that I’ve made on this journey, and share the ideas with like minds.

The ceremony ended around two o’clock, I said good-bye to the parents and kids. Then I took the ladies to Las Vegas…let me tell you something…going from Hollywood to Vegas really sucks ass. It turned out to be a seven plus hour drive, we got there closer to ten, and I was tired from driving. So, that shot any adventures on Friday, but Saturday was better, and we rushed to get a last bit done on Sunday, and still didn’t get home and done until eleven that night. What should have been a three and a half hour drive was pushed up by about two more hours by delays, and slow traffic. Alas, Sarah and I made it home safe, regardless of the bullshit traffic that happened.

I had to take care of a few medical things today, some of them for work, others for my next check up on my sleeve. I weighed myself today and I lost another 3.5 pounds. That brings my total down by 90.2 pounds, which was even better to know that 339.7. The incredible part is that in about five pounds, I’ll be at the lowest that I’ve been in five years. God, it will feel good to be down one hundred pounds.

I got in about 40k steps this weekend over all and Saturday was the most with 25,357. 1,616 calories were burned, and 11.19 miles were traveled that day. So, I think my total caloric intake was well below that. It was fun, and I just kept trucking along.

My next check up is on the seventh of April. I’ll be almost four months out, and life is still getting easier everyday. I felt like I had lost a few pounds, and I’m thinking that I’ll be at my lowest in five years by that check up. I’m more excited that I’ll be doing great next weekend when we go to Wonder Con. I’m going to have to buy some more clothes soon, and they’ll be smaller. I think one hundred pounds is crazy, I’ve already lost, about the weight of my son. It almost feels unreal, when I contemplate it.

As I’m looking forward to geeking out next weekend, I’m keeping an open eye to figure out how I can become a professional at these conventions, as this is one of the many things I plan on doing. I know that separating the various aspects of my life is going to organize things better, but it also seems that I have to dedicate more time to each of those things to keep them going.

On a final note, the free lance work is great, and now being in charge of my client’s social media is giving me experience that can be applied to other jobs as well. I’ll share more about this undertaking as it develops more. It’s already put me in contact with industry professionals that I’m going to be learning from their experience, and it will help me become a more rounded person.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Phase Two: Evolution

Well tomorrow is the day, it’s the day that I’ve been waiting to reach for the last three years to reach, my graduation. I’m graduating with Magna Cum Laude and then my future starts. It’s the moment that I go from the Film Student Life to the life of an Alumni of the Los Angeles Film School. This journey has brought many things to me. A new focus in life, a better situation mentally, and great connections that I’ll continue to have for the rest of my life.

I remember when I started school that I was lost, my depression was at it’s strongest, and I needed a way out. Finding this school online and taking the chance on going for a dream is what I needed to find myself. This journey has helped evolve me to the person that brings content to people on a regular basis…Sure, it isn’t always the way that a filmmaker would seem too, but even this writing of the blog has helped me with the writing that I put towards all my screen plays and helps me to attach the emotion that I need to the characters that I bring to life.

I was meant to be a filmmaker, once I got to actually concentrate on being behind the camera, and calling action, I knew that this was what I was meant to do. This journey has helped me become the best version of me. I’m happier, and so much less stressed.

I’m not completely sure where the next phase of my journey is going to take me, but I’m liking the changes that it’s bringing to my life, and I know that I’ll find success at what I’m doing, but I just don’t know the exact direction that it’s going.

I think the best part of everything is that those I love the most will be there, my parents, my kids, my wife, and my best friend Echo, who’s been by my side through so much. I’m glad that they can share with me in the celebration of my success.

The next couple of weeks will be crazy, as I’ve got plenty of plans going on, but once this is done, I will be putting a meeting together so that we can plan the next steps to getting some content brought out. Again, that’s when I’m happiest.

After the graduation, I get to go to Vegas and do adult things. I think that it’ll be a good way to send of the “old” me, and say hello to the new version that has become far more goal orientated. The baggage that weighed me down for so long has gone, and now all I have is hope, and positivity. I know things will not be dark for me again. So, if you would like, here’s the link to the live stream of the ceremony for tomorrow at 1:00pm I would love to hear that people watched and routed for me as we close a chapter and flip the page to something new.

I’m still getting in my steps as I got in 13,486 for the day, and the weight loss journey is still going strong. It’s just kind of taking a back seat to my film production for the moment. I’m still learning that the different aspects of my branding move at different times. The CK Project has had to opportunity to shine for the last several months, and I’ve enjoyed sharing the journey that I’ve had so far, but it’s time for other accomplishments to take the front and center.

Once everything really gets going, I’ll be able to bring out more content on all sides of my branding “empire”, as I find that it’s already become a full-time job, but it’s also what I enjoy. It’s funny that by staying busy, I’m feeling like I’m having the time of my life. I’ll report from Vegas, I’ll guarantee that. So with that being said, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Fast Lane Through March

Well being my first day for the week at work, I got in about 8,000 steps, it was kind of crazy. It was that kind of day at work. I’m glad that the weather was a bit nicer today, but I’m really feeling like my uniform is starting to get too big. I think I have a bit to go before I actually have to pick up a smaller size.

It seems that this week and next week are going to end up being crazy busy, however I’m sure that we’ll get through it, and it keeps me motivated to get to the weekend festivities. I can’t believe that I graduate next week, it’s been a long time coming for sure.

So, last week also was my first free lance gig. I filmed on Wednesday and I ended up doing some computer work for my client on Saturday. It feels good that I’m finally getting the experience, and a little bit of money to do the things that I want to do. My client has also worked in the movie industry and I enjoy learning from him.

So, now I’ve got some great news on my weight loss journey: I’ve lost another 6.9 lbs. That brings my total down by 84.4 and I’m sitting at 345.5. I’m also at 49.6 BMI. That’s over ten percent less than my highest numbers. Even the preliminary numbers from my physical sounded promising. This really is what it’s all about, getting healthier. That motivation is one of many factors that keeps me on track. The other being that I’ve been told that I’ve motivated someone else to get on the track for good health.

I’ve been preferring protein bars over anything else for breakfast. It’s just easier for me to have in the mornings, and I’m not feeling nauseous after eating it. Plus I tend to knock out those calories early in the day. The secret is protein, protein, protein. That’s the key to loosing weight.

This was just a few short notes for the day, this is the director and that’s a wrap.


February’s Almost Over!?!

What a month this has been… Now I’m preparing for a busy March, as I have graduation, a Vegas trip, and Wonder Con, all within a few week period. This is right after I have my three month check up for my weight loss journey.

This was the four days with the weekend, which started Thursday after work. I averaged over 10k steps all for days. It’s nice to see that also on average I was burning around 700 plus calories. So far for the first days of the work week, I haven’t even come close, but as I get more time during the weekend, I’ll push those numbers up a bit.

Let’s get into how my up coming weeks are looking as well. This week, I should be doing a bit of freelance work, I’m looking forward to getting the experience from that, as I really like my client because he has a personality on him.

Next week though is where everything gets interesting, as in I’m going to Los Angeles to finally walk on the campus of the school I’d been going too for the last three years. I have to pick up my cap and gown, plus get the tickets for the ceremony for the week after that. Then we’ll do lunch with my parents and kids, before heading out to Las Vegas for an adult weekend. With a return to work on Monday morning, just so we can leave on Thursday with the kids for Wonder Con, and a weekend of geeking out, plus I’m still getting my Geekultural Experience going.

This year really has started out great, and it just keeps getting better, even if we’ve had a few hiccups here and there. I think the further I go into this week, the better things are going to get. I’ve gotten heads up on something that’s exciting, but that’ll have to wait for another blog…

I also put in for my annual physical, which if truth be told, I totally avoided last year as it was. On the plus side, my results will be way better than the last one I had. I’m not going to complain. I think it’ll be done quickly, but it’s also going to fill up my already busy schedule. At least I can do it on a day off. One of the things I’ve always hated was fasting for a blood test, though it’s not going to be a problem this time. Since I did lose two-thirds of my stomach.

The other thing  I realize more everyday, is that I really need to have better time management skills. It seems like my walking and exercising has taken up most of my concentration, and I’ve got about a thousand other things that I’m trying to get done at the same time. I think I’m going to dedicate Wednesday’s the day that I spend on my writing. That would give me something to get those scripts worked on going. So much to get done, and it never seems like enough time to get it completed.

Saturday, I’ll have an update on my weight loss journey, and with that, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Size 54, No More, Paging Number 46

The crazy part about this morning is that I wanted to try on some jean pants, and we found some of my old shorts that were a size forty-six. Now before I continue this, let me tell you that I’ve been wearing basketball shorts for the last seven years, and had worn jeans few times up until 2014…I think. Anyway, I tried these shorts on and they were kind of loose. I don’t know if it’s because they were old, but I couldn’t fit into a size like that comfortably last year.

A win is a win, and I will take it. Sarah says that she can tell that I’m starting to feel “sexy”, and I must say that I do feel damn good about myself. It’s amazing what a bit of weight loss does for the confidence level. I haven’t weighed myself this week, because if you remember, I did say that I was going to only do the weigh in every other week. I can’t wait until I’m on the other side of 300. It’ll be nice to be my early adult weight again.

It feels strange that I’m starting to swim in my clothes, and I’m not going to go crazy and buy a completely new wardrobe quite yet, but I have been thinking of a getting a new outfit, something probably different than just a superhero shirt and shorts. I feel like I want to start dressing a little bit better on occasion, especially since Sarah tends to dress nice on date nights, and I’m looking like I always do. I appreciate that she says I look handsome all the time, but I feel that I could present myself a bit better for her.

Besides that, I should say that I’ve been busy getting the professional side of my life straightened out. I’m going to my school in two Fridays to pick up my stuff for when I walk down for my graduation, I’ll probably take the time to see my career advisor while I’m there. I finally got a rough draft of my newest resume for said film career done, and turned it in tonight. I hope that it’s something that we can work with to make better. Besides that, I also have another job lead that I’ve been looking to go towards for the better part of six years, I hope that I can hit up the application when it comes out so that I can fill it out, and hopefully get the job, that I went to school for.

I’ve taken the undertaking of trying to learn Spanish, so that I can become bi-lingual. It’ll help in communicating in general, especially since I do customer service type work, and it doesn’t hurt that I’ve got a goal to write a script in both English and Spanish as it’s about a Latina and her boyfriend(who isn’t Latino), and the plight that they go through being a bi-racial couple. I was an idea that I thought up a while back, and I thought it would be a nice challenge…. That’s something I like as a writer, is challenging myself. I really gets my creativity going, and as I get things going, I’ve got so much that I’ve already started, now it’s finding the time to concentrate on on script at a time, but I don’t want to loose the ideas, once I get them. I used to have these great ideas when I was younger, but I never wrote them down, and I would forget them over time.

I think that’s part of the reason I decided to keep learning, so that I could gain tools to help me out and be a better individual, between the Spanish, and learning things about getting that dream job, and then the videos to help me learn the software programs that I’m using or going to be using as I make movies, I’m staying busy, and I haven’t really played video games much lately. I have been watching more movies though.

On top of all of those things, blogging is helping me become a better writer, and I used to think that 500 words was kind of a challenge to come up with.  It’s funny because I’ve seen where the growth of my words have gone since I started this WordPress page for a class a couple of years ago. I was averaging about 400 words, then last year I was about 460. Now I average around 650 or something like that. Plus, my audience’s growing and my like are far higher now than they have been for the blogs I’ve had over the last two years. The only thing that’s down is the comments, I haven’t had somebody comment on the page itself. I think that I’m finally finding that niche as a blogger, and with all the projects that I’ve got going, I’m sure that I won’t be running out of any content to produce any time soon. Especially once we can get working on the studio, things kind of went south on movement there, but with a year of uncertainty, I don’t find that a bad thing at this time.

Self improvement is a key to success and I would like to see people succeed, keep on the journey of self discovery, you might surprise yourself. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Disneyland-Pushed Twice As Hard

So, my wife and I decided that we would make up our sixteenth anniversary, which happened in July of last year, by going to Disneyland, without the kids. Yes, I do realize that seven months is a long time to postpone our celebration, but I was working on a movie at that time, and we just ended up being busy with life through a lot of that. It’s nice when we get some time where the two of us can just be a couple. Having kids, that gets hard to do, especially when they tend to be needy.


So to say the least, I got my 10,000 steps before eleven-o-clock. I best part is that I made it so long without having to take a break. I didn’t really slow down until about four in the afternoon, by then I think I was around 15,000 steps, but it was so worth the effort put forth. I can’t believe that I had made almost ten miles, it’s crazy to think that I made it that far.

In contrast, today I’ve only gone about 5,945 steps. I think that I deserve a break from that kick ass effort from yesterday, but I do plan on challenging myself like that again soon. Perhaps during a long hike or something, but then again, I might need more time before I do that.

The biggest highlights of yesterday was that I didn’t struggle to get through any of the turn styles, or on the rides, I wasn’t uncomfortable. That’s a big win, and I ate very well. We went to The RainForest Cafe for breakfast, where I had scrambled eggs, and a piece of bacon, with a few pieces of home potatoes. Lunch, I ate a Cauliflower patty, and a few fries. I finished with dinner of Claim Chowder. So, I was trying to be smart with my choices for meals. I didn’t really seem to enjoy any of them though. Another win, since food has always been a pleasure for me. I did have a few sips of Vietnamese coffee that Sarah got from the Lunar New Year booth. It was the first coffee I’ve had in months, and it was okay(I did also have a small cup this morning at home of instant). I think my journey with coffee is pretty much over, at least I’m okay with that.

It felt good to take this new lighter body out to something that would normally tax my body, and have this energy to just do more. I would have to take a break before we would get to the entrance of the park, the last several times we had visited. Amazing! We got in the rides that mattered to us, and we just had an over all great time. Sarah keeps telling me that she’s proud. It’s always better when you can have a great support system behind you. People really need to hear that they’re doing a good job. This doesn’t just go for your personal life, but getting that type of recognition of doing a good job at works, helps.

Since everything happened in a relatively short span, I’ll update everyone on a weight update next weekend. I think every other week tends to work better for me because there shows a noticeable change. It gives me some extra time to hit that 10,000 steps anyway. Besides, I still haven’t been cleared to go beyond light workouts still. Though my walks do feel like I could almost be pushing it, but they’ve been the easiest part so far.

Now, to change the subject, I’m currently trying to learn more about the various programs that I use for my filming, and continue to develop those skills. I’ll also be doing a few professional freelance videos in the next couple of weeks. I’m excited to get this experience under my belt, and I think it’ll help me out with some extra money to help get the equipment that I need to get a full production studio going.

Another subject that I’ve decided to focus as an area of study is Spanish. Living in California, it’s really handy to know, and besides that, bilingual is just another skill set that helps make myself more marketable with whatever profession I do. Right now, learning and adding skills, certs, etc…. is something that will help me better myself, and wasn’t the point, to improve myself?

Anyway, this looks like the end of another set of thoughts, so this is the director, and that’s a wrap.


So, to start out, this was my last day of work this week, and I made it! With my uniform swimming on me. I’m in the need of a new belt to hold up those Genie pants. My lunch has changed so much since I first started working.  Work Lunch

This is what I take with me for a ten hour day to eat anymore. Sometimes it’s more than enough. I think that it’s crazy where I’m at, compared to as where I had been.

As my wife hasn’t been feeling the best today, we decided to go out to a local restaurant called Pita Fresh. I’m a huge fan of Shawarma, so my meal was Chicken Shawarma, with Couscous, olives, and Tahini sauce.Dinner before I ate

This is a picture of my bowel, it’s kind of big, and full of delicious food. I used to be able to destroy a meal like this and not think anything of it. That’s actually how I was several months ago, but this is what my meal looked like after I was done:after I ate

It’s funny that I barely made a dent. At least this can keep me going for a few days. The struggles of a fat person.  I’m satisfied with that, and today was an inspired day. Better food, better movement, and better activity.

So today I did over 10,000 steps, that’s over 4 miles. Here’s the proof:Steps for the day

Since I had started this journey this time, and the surgery, I’ve never made it quite this high. Last highest was like 9,141 steps. Crazy how I walked almost five fucking miles. I was motivated like crazy, I wanted to get to the 10,000 mark, and I was walking with a fiery purpose.

One of the best feelings is knowing that I can and want to move faster. I even jogs for a few steps, but I’m not ready for that quite yet. This week was the first week back at work, and I decided that I wanted to know how I was going to feel after work this week, but I do plan on getting back to the gym after work, a few days a week. I think I’m ready to take this to the next step.

I’ve had two other people express the interest of my progress and asked about the surgery, I’m glad that people want to get their body’s healthy, and I gave the number to West Medical to a co-worker yesterday. I hope that this helps my co-worker out in the most positive of ways. I’m the first to say that this hasn’t been an easy journey, but I’ve met some wonderful people because of this, and I think the rocky waves are over for the majority of my progress. All I have to do is keep my mind focused on the mission and go towards the goals.

I’m also happy that this little blog has gotten some attention, and I’m glad to get new followers. It’s my way of giving my voice to the same situations that people may be afraid or embarrassed to discuss. You can see more of the visuals on my Instagram page : This shows my weight loss journey, as well as my adventures with my family, and friends. They mean so much to me, and this is part of the reason why I’m taking the path that I’m doing now. Please feel free to ask questions, or just say something to be apart of the discussion.

The CK Project is a platform to help me be better at life and health, and I hope that it motivates others to do the same. I’ve had several people tell me that, and it brings such joy to have been able to help. I’m all about the positivity now, even though I have moments where it doesn’t seem enough to stay that way(after all, we all have bad days).

I’ve been on the negative side of life, and it sucks, but by doing this, I think that it’s starting to define the person I am, because the bad things help create character, and it’s like I didn’t really start finding out who I was until I hit the later part of my thirties. This is the person I want to be, and I’m not letting the hate and negativity define who I am.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Tomorrow? (Part 1)

I’m going back to work tomorrow after my six weeks off because of my surgery. To be honest, I’m anxious. It’s weird to actually think about where I am now, compared to when I was going to have my surgery. In the aspect of things, six weeks isn’t that long, but with this journey of six weeks off, I’ve had time to reflect, and think about where I want to go with life.

The things that I’ve been focused on doing for the gastric sleeve documentary has been on my mind, and I think that I’m going to change it to the journey of losing weight, and the obstacles that have kept me from being successful before now. It’ll be a great way to help motivate other’s who might not have that drive to become healthy.

I guess the best thing about going back to work is the fact that life can get back to some sort of normalcy, and I know things are going to be good this year. I’m positive that this will be a year of growth and changes. I’m not sure where life will  take me, maybe a new location is in the future. I’m making a new set of friends through the gastric sleeve experience. The networking in the past few years has been great. Good people, better opportunities are going to be knocking, and I plan on taking them the help me further my professional and personal life.

I’ve also recently taken an interest in Eastern philosophy. I think that I need to find something that helps bring me a better sense of inner piece. As I’ve turned into a beacon of positivity for the last few years, now I want to find something more. I’m also  improving myself by continuing my education, by doing videos from, and Rosetta Stone.

I will continue this after I get back from work tomorrow, and reflect on how I’m feeling. (To be continued….)

Not This Night

I’m sitting here and it’s about a half hour until Christmas is over. I have my two week check up at night-fortyfive in the morning and I can’t seem to get my mind to shut off. I would love to say that it was because I had such an awesome day that the adrenaline is still kicking, but it’s not. Now, I’m not saying that today was a bad day, being Christmas and all, we did the routine in going to my parent’s house, and watching the kids enjoy their presents. It just felt average.

Nash Gray premiered this morning, and I think the viewing seemed to go alright for a first day out. I wish the views were tripled, but I’m not going to complain, and I hope more people end up finding it and liking it. With what reviews that I did get, people seemed to like it, and for that I’m glad. I’m happy to have been able to finally get my first real production out, and now I’m already of thinking of the documentaries that I’m working on and the short that I should be filming in February. It’s the short that I think might be on my mind currently. I’m thinking about story boards, and maybe fixing up some dialogue so that the story has a bit of a more complete feel to it. I remember writing it and having a bit of things implied because it was supposed to be a short of around seven minutes.  I’m eager to get this one reshot and out of the way, as I have some people that I’m already committing too to tell their story. People are interesting to say the least.

Going back to the weight loss journey though, I’m not nervous or anything about the appointment, but to say that I feel monumentally different would be an overstatement. I notice that fat that seemed to block my movements is gone, and that I move better, and the scale says that I’ve lost weight, but I don’t really feel different. More conscious about how  I eat for sure, and eating too fast tells on me. I just don’t feel so different, and I’m sure it’s just a phase.

I’ve been reading people on a Facebook Sleeve support page and I see so many different experiences about the surgery. I think the common one I’m seeing is the last minute jitters, after all I had those same feelings. It’s the end journey that is going to be good, once the fat is gone and life has changed, I think I’ll look back and say that it was worth it. I don’t want to think that I feel depressed because my habits have been forced to change so much.

I think that the unknown is what’s been getting me down, and it’s not about the weight loss journey anymore, but more about when I get that better job, and the bills that I’m going to be paying on for a very long time. I just need to tell myself that good things come to those who wait, and I’ve been working towards those good things for a long time now. I’m just glad that my depression isn’t like it was before, I do know that I’ll make it out of this just fine. There’s just a lot of reflection going on with me.

Maybe that’s another reason I’m starting to focus more on the next project….that seems to give me a bit of satisfaction knowing that I’m going to be creating something. So much to do, and now that I have a bit more free time, I need to get on some other projects started besides the movies. I think I’m going to test out some of my new equipment for pod casting this week and maybe bring in the new year with a new pod cast show, though I’m thinking of doing a few different ones as it is.

I’m finally getting somewhere in life that I want to be, and I hope that everyone who wants to, joins in watching the growth and creativity come out. This is the director and that’s a wrap. P.S. if you haven’t seen it yet, here is the link to Nash Gray If you like it, give it a like and subscribe to the channel, it’s still new, but more content will be added as soon as things get up and running more so than it is now.

Insomnia…. You Dirty Bastard

With everything that’s been going on with me personally, insomnia seems to be something that has been re-occuring for about the last month or so. I’m not sure if this had to do with the hard winds that are blowing outside, or the unpleasant dream that my father had died. Hell, maybe my creativeness is wanting to be let out…..

I liked how as I went to bed last night, that I had finally came up with a better name for my Geek on Geek project(which will be revealed soon enough). I was gonna wait until morning to write it down as it was, but I decided that I’d better write it down before I forgot it. That’s how things used to be for me though, I would come up with something that I thought was awesome, like a song, or an idea, and I would keep it in my head for months and never write it down. However, since this is the livelihood, that I’m trying to make a career out of, I can’t take those chances anymore.

Usually when I have depression, that’s when insomnia seems to kick my ass the most, but outside of a few short bouts of it because of my surgery and my body changing, I’ve not really anything to be depressed about. Sure, I know that I had to have my dog put down last week, but I was already prepared for that, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before that happened. My life style is forever changed, I’ve had moments where after I ate, I had that moment of feeling depressed, but I’m liking where my body is going and even just after a week and a half, I’m starting to feel comfortable in my body again.

I think the thought of my father dying is what’s weighing on my mind. He’s not dead, thank God, but that’s something that is a concern as he’s getting older, and he’s not treated his body right. I’ve watched the man slowly fall apart over the last couple of years, and I’m not sure how I’ll handle his eventual expiration. I’ve been fortunate that I’ve never lost anyone close to me, besides maybe pets, but my circle hasn’t ever been penetrated like that. I worry about those whom are close to me that have the same struggles with mental health as I do, and if there was a loss there, I know that I would be devastated.

There are days that I feel that I’ve failed as a father, and as a son, but I try to show my family that I do love them and I’m trying my best either way. I think that’s why I survived the melt down like I did. I wasn’t going to let those negative thoughts, and my feelings define the person that I was, because in the end…I wanted to be better than I was. I hated feeling like a piece of shit, all day every day. Especially since I knew that I had more to offer than just being a verbal punching bag to the people around me. I took that suicidal moment, and learned to make it my armor.

When you spend most of your life looking and serving inwardly there are many miss opportunities that happen in life. I don’t remember how, or when it happened, but being the person who wants to safe a life is the best thing ever. This is true when that test comes in front of you and you have the chance to change someone from making that mistake that has gone through your own head dozens of times. There’s a feeling of being able to do something meaningful in life.

That’s the purpose of the CK Project, to help inspire and motivate. When I originally started it six years ago, I was hoping to help change lives, and get people inspired to become more healthy. Then, I had my melt down at work and depression took over. Now that I’m a filmmaker, and a networker, I’m finding new ways to bring the message to people and I’ve talk to people about my weight loss journey, and it’s getting people motivated to lose their extra pounds. If I can do it, anybody else should be able to as well. I just had to take a more extreme route to get to where I need to go.

So, with a week and a half out from removing most of my stomach, I’m very much excited for where my life is going. Things have been moving forward for a while now, even with a few bumps in the road. I just keep moving forward. The pain is over all gone, and my stomach isn’t in the way of everything anymore. This journey has a long road to go, and I’m prepared to follow that road until the end, because I want to live. I want those who struggle to also live, because many people I know who’ve gone through the same struggles as I have, are some of the most beautiful people that I know. If by my helping just a few people ended up being my legacy in life, then I guess that’s not such a bad thing.

God, I know that this blog seems to go a bit everywhere this morning, but all considering….it’s helping me out this morning. I’m finding myself in a very zen place in life. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m getting older, or if I’ve just let the drama go, but the last few months, I’ve really found myself at an amazing place spiritually. Yes, there have been a few shit days here and there, but over all, my vibe has been positive. I think the only thing I haven’t had much patience for is incompetence, but that’s a story left for another time.

This is the director and that’s a wrap?

Day 10 Through 8

Yeah I know, I was going to do this blog every day, and not anything since Thursday night. For that, I apologize, I was out of town for Friday and Saturday, and no where to actually do this blog. So, I’m gonna break down this weekend for you in this adventurous weekend.

First thing is first, before we could leave out of town, I had to fast and get blood work done. I also had to get a chest X-ray in the same appointment. I think that I was seen about eleven-fifteen for everything, and then we headed down to Tarzana to stay the night for my eight-thirty meeting with the surgeon. The motel sucked, the room was bare(which wasn’t too bad), and the bed was a bit hard, which made my neck and shoulder hurt in the morning.

We get down to the medical center and find out that my appointment was actually to take place about an hour away in Rancho Cucamonga, so that set my day off kind of bad. We got there and got my meeting done and I found out that I’m now at the weight of 400.8 pounds. Not bad considering that I got weight a couple of weeks ago and was at 409.4.  The wife and I decided to go check out the area for some shopping and ended up in a mall. Here’s the confession, I cheated yesterday for lunch and dinner, and had solid food for two meals.

I did find myself selecting smarter for my food choices, so I guess that might mitigate the cheat a bit. After all that was said and done, we got home late, and went to bed. Driving Los Angeles traffic can wear you out.

With that being said, I’m back on the solid liquid diet, and I’m about a week away, I’m trying to play caught up with the videos(Day 10 is complete, just not uploaded, because 11 is currently being uploaded). Yes, I’m still trying to figure this all out as I’m making content my life’s work, so please bare with me.

Today, I had some of the Nash Gray crew come over and we started to do a clean up of the yard, and the place we’re we are building the studio, and now I’m waiting on my beef broth for dinner, so this is the director and that’s a wrap.


So, I’m two days out from being done with school. I’ve spent my time watching movies that I’ve been trying to catch up on. That’s not the only thing that I’ve been doing, I’ve been working on editing, and getting things done so that I have more opportunities to gain exposure through the various social medias. Life is moving forward. I’m also getting online to search for jobs that will work with my newly gained degree.

The biggest thing that I’m having to do is divide my personal stuff from my “brand” stuff. I’m good with that as I can keep things separate and I think that will help me concentrate more on what I’m doing. I was heading this direction for the last several months as it was, now I just have more reason to do so. Prepare for more changes to come up in the next several months as I’m getting things together so that we can move forward at a faster pace, we just have to do some prepping behind the scenes first.

I’m still discovering that I’m finding enjoyment as an editor, but it won’t ever take my love as a writer and director. I’m learning to master the programs that I’ll be using from this moment on. Adobe is a great program for that.

Currently, I’m still deciding ideas that I want to get working on within the next year, as I do know that currently I’m working on two documentaries at the same time. Now’s just the time to get the treatments out before I officially start filming. My team is eager to get the ball rolling on things as well. I love the people that I’ve been working with and have added over the last several months. We are going to kick some ass.

Any way, it’s late and I’m about to go to bed. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

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