Something Big Is Brewing

I’ve gotten off from a great weekend. I got in an excellent workout on Saturday, published two blogs, broke down a script, and did a podcast. It was a great weekend, full of productivity, plus it was nice to give my three brands the love and attention they deserve.

As much as I’ve been struggling lately with the stars in life, it’s always good when I can get a weekend of positivity in. Mentally, being creative helps save me from myself. I can pour the energy and focus into it. It’s almost like an emotional rest for me. It gets complex, because of what emotions can develope from my writing.

I find that as a writer, I’m quite different than as person. In the real world, I’m generally positive, funny, and laid back. There isn’t much that upsets me, accept the enternal struggle with my mind.

As a writer, the subject tone is usually serious, and deep. I think that deep down, this is a way that I might be working through some of my emotional things. They say that a writer pours a bit of themselves into the characters. So, that either leads me to believe that the tragedy and traumas that I’ve suffered, might have helped lead me understanding a bit about other events that I might not have suffered myself.

At the same time, I know that anything I write, I would like guidance to give it authenticity. As I wrote the project Unexpected Side Trip, I wanted to represent the LGBTQA community as much as possible for the lead characters. As I work on the project I’ll be doing after, I want to do it justice as it deals with how people deal with grief from the loss of their child to juvenile leukemia. While I haven’t lost a child myself, I’ve had friends and family that have, and I want to represent it in the best possible light that I can. This is important to me, because this story has been in development for the last four years, and I’m just now able to get back to writing it.

We are working on some ideas to present with the Geekultural Experience, as right now the podcasting is some off the easier things to do. At the same time, it’s been a bit slow to gain momentum. https://anchor.fm/geekultural-exp/episodes/Cosplay-and-Halloween-e5d4v5 here’s the episode in case you’re interested in seeing what it’s all about. We’re thinking about hitting another convention for one day as we’re still really just trying to find our niche in this world.

Now, the big one that most people come to read about on these blogs, the CK Project. We’ve been working on merchandise, and I’ve had a few of the shirts made, and I think that they’re good quality. We just got some pull-over hoodies designed and in various colors. The response is great, and I’ve got a few people who’ve said that they were going to buy something. As this is going for motivation for weight loss and for mental health awareness, we’re looking to turn this into a non-profit organization. I think that I’m both excited and torn by this idea, but if it helps get the message out, then I’m all for the affect of progressing to something a bit different.

As for my progress, I’m currently at a stand still on my weight. I did however up the weight that I’m lifting. twenty-pounds added to my deadlift, and I felt like I was going to die. I’ve progressed on my kettle-bell, and the dumbbells that I’ve been using to do military presses.

I find that my circuit training had started getting to a point where I wasn’t getting the sweat like I had. I do also realize that going heavier comes with the complications of being able to injure myself easier, that’s why form is important. With that, I’m trying to take a bit more time with my reps so that I can be sure that I don’t hurt myself. Yet, I think this was also something I needed to help me get past this five-pound curse.

I will be checking-in with my doctor’s office tomorrow so that I could get back into my check-ins and to start the discussion of getting the skin-removal-surgery. I’ve been feeling uncomfortable in my skin lately. As I’ve been going along, I’ve started to feel that the surgery’s the answer that I need. Itchy, uncomfortable skin is a thing, so I’m going to deal with it until I don’t have to anymore.

I know that I put off my last appointment because of the fact that we had some earthquakes during that time. Now, I feel that I hadn’t because there’s something inside of me that’s afraid of getting the surgery. I’ve heard that it’s painful, and to be honest, I’m a bit anxious about having another surgery. That would include having to take off another six-weeks from work.

I guess that it’s the unknown that keeps me hesitant. I also know that I talk about self-improvement, so I should just take the plunge. This would be career wise as well. At least this is something that I’ve been actively taking into my hands over the last few years. It’s been slow, but with the weight loss, I’ve learned that I can and do deserve to be able to grow professionally.

I’m the director and that’s a wrap.

Lose And Gain

So, it’s been a while since I’ve done the official “weight-loss” update. Here goes; I gained four pounds. Yep, that’s the official update, I’m back up to 264 pounds. I’m not even mad, I knew the plateau’s and the weight gains would just all be apart of the process. So remember that!

You see the commercials on television and in print ads that someone can help you drop all the weight you want by a pill or a drink, with minimal work. It doesn’t work that way, ever. The truth is that while you will drop the weight, there will be times that you level out, and even gain some. Remember that it’s just part of the journey, and I know that’s the part that people hate.

It’s the plateau’s and the gains that cause most people to quit. I mean who wants to see the number stick or go up? We didn’t get into losing weight to see the momentum go anywhere but down? I gained five pounds, and I’ve worked so hard not to gain, what kind of bullshit is this?

I remember the first time I plateau’d after my surgery, God it was frustrating! Man it was the longest time before I dropped weight again(actually it was like three weeks). I don’t think I got mad at myself, but it was disappointing. Yet, I knew even then that it was part of the process, but after seeing my first hundred pounds just melt off, it sucked.

I think some habits have also snuck back into my life, especially since I’ve been in a bit of a stressful situation. I still have a win because one, I’m aware of it, and two, I’m still staying active. I’m going to overcome this situation. This is just another bump in the road that I have to overcome.

Mentally, I’ve been a bit down, but nothing too discouraging to know that I can’t overcome it. The mind is your most powerful weapon that you have. If you believe, then you can achieve. I know that my mind tells me that I can’t do things, like lunges. It doesn’t let me do lunges, and it makes me feel afraid that I’ll injure my knee. I don’t ever recall injuring my knee that way, but it makes it hard for me to go down without some sort of support. If I use a chair, then I know that I can do it.

On the positive side, I’ve been learning about various exercises from the Men’s Health Magazine, Twitter page. One of the exercises, that I’m excited about is the Mt. Climber, I’ve seen it done, but I realized that when I’ve done it before, I didn’t have the proper form for doing it. Another exercise is called the Halo. It’s an exercise that can use either a dumbbell or a kettlebell and it works the shoulders. This one excites me because it hits the shoulders from several angles. A third exercise that I’ve seen on video from Twitter is called a pike press. Modified, I think it would be a good exercise for me to do a shoulder press.

Another thing that I can say that is on the positive side, is that I’ve been looking into what kind of mindset an entrepreneur should have. I know that it’s going to take time, and a massive amount of hard work, but I will get there. I also know that I’m pushing for “maximum effort” because while one brand, or business is a full-time job, I have three that I’m working on.

With that, this is where things get a bit more convoluted, the CK Project is my oldest and most popular of my brands.  It’s great because I find that it’s the easiest to give most of my attention too. I support the fact that I get to help others with mental and physical guidance. This is what helped me become a happier person, and the privilege to help others has been fulfilling.

The birth of The Geekultural Experience actually spun-off of a group that I helped create called The Geeks of the IWV.  The group was formed as a way to help my friend cope with the death of her son, and it’s done fairly well. While The Geekultural Experience started on Facebook, it seems to have a better following on Twitter. I find that I get the news on Twitter so much easier more readily than Facebook.

While I enjoy my these brands and they fill a very different aspect of my life, the one I’m most looking forward to picking up is my film company, Luckey Bom Films. It’s more because I would love to have them all to be more equal then they are, but I’m sure this will get there at some point. It’s hard trying to keep things sorted out, and each get more attention, at different times when the focus can shift to what’s taking the more precedence at the time.

What would you like to see me talk about? Is there anything you think could help take my brands to another level? Leave a comment, and let’s start a dialogue, I’d love to interact and get feed back on the things I’m doing. After all, criticism is just a tool for improvement. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

This Loneliness IS Killing Me

So, we finished the two seasons of 13 Reasons Why(2017), and as we prepare to start our series on covering the subjects that are addressed in this show, I wanted to come out and say a few things before we get into the research of these issues. Going through some of the subject matter personally, I feel that this show took me to a place that reminded me of those difficult times.

If this is the first time you’ve ever read my blog, I’m about to get more real than I ever have before. My name is Chris Keeling and I’m a survivor. There are things that happen to us everyday that can cause us to choose very different paths then we are facing now, but we can also choose to make it through and get better, stronger then when those experience started.

In 13 Reasons Why(2017) Hannah Baker, a high school student is the subject of bullying, and as a compacted result of various types of bullying, decides to take her own life. Some of the situations that she experiences, I have myself gone through. Some of her experiences, I’ve witnessed with others. I’ve had conversations, and I’ve even seen my own children go through those experiences. I think watching my own children deal with these issues have been the hardest part of it all.

Now remember that I said, I am a survivor. I’ve survived several attempts of suicidal moments in my life. The old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is a bunch of bullshit. I remember being made fun of because I was fat, and being the son of an NCO(Non Commissioned Officer in the military) in a predominantly Officer area brought along other hardships.  I was looked down upon because of the status of parents careers in comparison.

So, let’s talk about where all this seemed to lean towards, isolation, a feeling of not having anywhere to turn. I remember a sense of loneliness at the age of seven, and that’s the first time I decided that I didn’t want to live anymore. I walked out into the boonies, and hoped that a snake would bite me so that I could die. I didn’t feel loved, I didn’t feel liked, I didn’t feel that I was good enough for anything.

Yes, I know my parent’s loved me. I mean shouldn’t all parents love their children? I know it doesn’t always happen, but I know my parents loved me. When you’re in that mindset, something like that doesn’t come across your mind, I know it didn’t come across mine.

In third grade, I saw some sort of phycologist, and my self worth seemed to become less then, and I wanted to die. I don’t remember much from that interaction however I think this was about the second time that I had the urge to want things to end. How crazy is it that I had those feelings twice before I was in double digits?

Maybe I should have been put on some sort of medication by this time. Mental health has always been kind of taboo, and wasn’t always addressed. I really can’t explain why this was something that didn’t get really addressed in my house. I do know that I kept that kind of pain away from my parents. Which isn’t uncommon, my own children haven’t always been open to talking with me about their issues either.

Being excepted, being loved; it’s within these connections that I strived to feel. Being an outsider I always tried “too hard” to fit in with other people’s expectations of what was considered popular, or cool. I wanted to have the “glorious life” of the in crowd, and would often get verbally beaten down for it. The girls that I liked weren’t always the nicest to me, and I would often get rejected and have my heart broken with a cruel word.

Now, if you have been following along for sometime, then you’ve heard about my bicycle accident that I had when I was thirteen. I was reckless, and I don’t think that I ever really paid attention that day. I don’t think I ever paid attention ever, but that day I do know was hard. Again, I think I got a rejection that I took perhaps a bit too hard that day, and was even less in a mindset to care of anything when I got hit by that truck. Head trauma, broken bones, and a coma is what that got me, and I almost died.

Like Hannah Baker, who had her heart broken, and trust betrayed, I know those emotions too well. I think people in general just want to be accepted. Sometimes we feel like we have to hide who we really are to fit in. I often times played down the things I had been into, just so I wouldn’t get made fun of.

When I was about seventeen, I was cruelly broken up with, and I had taken a knife with the intent to stab myself. This was an emotional turmoil that I had fought with for a few weeks. It took a friend who had the scares from actually going through the whole process to yell at me. She made me realize that I needed to get out of my head and actually think about who I was going to affect.

Now, comes the epic work melt down, this is the last time I actually had those thoughts. I was never good at finding a way to get through high pressure situations. I have my reasons for leaving most aspects of my profession out of everything. This is not only a personal choice, but do to the things I do, there’s a sensitivity of discretion that goes with it.

What I can say is that what I do, is an ungrateful job, much like the janitor, or the food server, people are often quick to point out when they feel that you’re too slow, or inconveniencing them. Often times, if the customer doesn’t get their way, they become verbally abusive. End of job description…

Take that, and combine it with a highly stressful home life. We at the time didn’t know how to deal with a high functioning autistic, or even that was what it was. I was feeling beat down. I felt that I was trapped in a situation all around that I couldn’t get out of. I wanted to run away, and soon after I wanted all the pain and suffering to stop. I thought my family would be better without me, because I felt like a failure.

I ended up trying to slowly kill myself with food, that ended up being the way I went. I would sit down and play video games all day because I didn’t want to deal with my mental anguish. Food became my drug, and the more weight I gained, the more I hated myself. The more I hated myself, the more I would take it out on the one’s I loved.

I didn’t know how to deal with these feelings for the longest time. I know that my maternal family has a serious history of mental illness. My mother is heavy set, I think that food has been her drug for dealing with life. My sister, has been put in a mental institution, and my brother suffers from having “dark” thoughts as well. While I’m not saying this to put them on “blast”, I wasn’t raised in this environment.

My father and mother divorced when I was a toddler, and I never got to know anything about that side of the family until the invention of social media. It was my sister who came to establish a relationship with me. I’ve gotten to know that side a little bit, yet I’m still a bit cautious because the way I’ve grown up. I’m here for them if they need me, and I’ve had talks with them at various points when they’ve been in a “bad spot”.

I’ve struggled my whole life to find my place, and while I went through these various spots in my life, and that this is just a little piece of who I am. I am a survivor. I made it this far and I’m not going back, hell I don’t need to anymore because I did go through that before. I know how to handle those thoughts now.

Semicolon: a punctuation mark indicating a pause, typically between to main ideas.

A semicolon is the symbol of suicide survivors, because it represents a continuation instead of stopping. I’m at some point going to get this tattoo as a reminder that I’m better than I was and I continued to strive for something better, even when I thought all hope was lost.

If you are lost and unsure where to go, 13 Reasons Why has provided a set of resources that could be useful https://13reasonswhy.info.

I’m not a professional, I’ve never claimed to be, but I have some experience, and I think that helps. I’ve been there for people who’ve wanted to end things too, and I’ve shown them that they weren’t along. I’m just another person who’s got a dog in this fight too. Everyday I worry that something like this could happen to someone I love, and it’s been a helpless feeling.

My parting words of advice are this: We don’t always know what everyone goes through. Some people go through some rough times in there personal lives, and don’t want to share, because it’s a survival thing, or at least that’s what I believe. If negativity is impacted, it will manifest somewhere else. Abuse at home, sometimes manifests into bullying at school, or work. Be mindful, be kind, because you never know if you’ll make that difference in some’s life where they decide to keep going.

 

 

Cheat Day

So, I felt like I didn’t do as well as I could have this weekend. Hell, I felt like I almost blew my hard work. I had some chips, and I snacked a bit more than I should have; at least that’s how I felt.

I also didn’t quite get the steps in for the weekend that I planned on. However, I’m pretty sure that I’ll be okay, because today. So, I cheated a bit this weekend, at least I’m determined not to be that way. I need to remind myself that I really shouldn’t have a cheat day, because it becomes a slippery slope unto other bad habits that I’ve tried to forget.

All this on top of the fact that I’ve been feeling a bit weird lately, and I’m not sure how I should be reacting to dealing with everything. I’ve got sick kids, and a wife who maybe coming down with a serious disease, and in the end, I’ve still got to keep my shit together.  I hate having my moments of weakness because it makes me feel like a failure, even when I’m not.

The think that I’ve got going is that I’m exploring more of digital special effects, and that’s making me feel better. I’ve had a good weekend, with friends, even though my kids are now really getting sick. Plus, it’s Labor Day weekend, which gives me four days off.

The leaps and bounds that I’ve gotten with Adobe After Effects…..

 

Update 9-8-18:

So, while I started this blog on Monday, I’ve been sick and dealing with life. I was able to go to my personal training session on Tuesday, and I killed it. It gave me the confidence I felt that I was lacking when I started the blog on Monday. Unfortunately, a few hours later, a sore throat and fever hit me hard and took me out for a couple of days.

Because of that, my week went to shit, sort of. As of now though, I am better. A few days of rest was something that I needed. It sucks when the body aches and the head is a bit fuzzy.

Today, we people in the small town of Ridgecrest had our annual Parade of a 1000 Flags. It’s a day to remember those we lost in the tragic events of September 11th, 2001. We as a family have been involved with the parade in various ways. We’ve walked with each of the kids schools, we’ve walked with the Boy and Girl Scouts, and have walked with the Autism Awareness group in town. Last year, we walked with our brother and sister geeks for The Geeks of The IWV. Today was a milestone as The CK Project made its public debut this year.

For the parade this year, we decided to make the letters white, to make it stand out when being represented. The letters pop a bit more. It’s limited, and it’s the start of us taking control to actually do our own merchandise. I wanted to have a simple basic look this time to represent the fact that The CK Project wants to show the beginnings of something new.

The normal blue for the letter’s represents hope. Yes, I picked that up from a comic book, and I think that hope is something that tells where the mission starts for myself personally. Dealing with my weight loss journey, and my mental health has inspired me to try and inspire others, with the hope that people find the answers that they might be looking for.

There’s been too many people lost to depression and suicide, and I wonder if they knew that they could have someone to reassure them that everything would be okay; if they would have made another choice. It gets better, and I’m the first one to admit that my head space hasn’t always been positive, and I’ve felt the bitter feelings of feeling trapped with no place to go. The thing I gained the most? I survived, and anyone who feels that shadow of doubt should be able to be reminded that they too can survive and it will get better.

Life is getting better, I’m going to be doing my weigh-in update tomorrow, and take the boy child to the gym to get our exercise on. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Water To Make It Grow

There was an idea. A minuscule thought that I decided I couldn’t just let go. So, I took that thought, and I decided to plant it. I needed a way to make this tiny thought grow. I needed to nurture it. I had to wait to see the buds come out of the soil. I was kind of scared to think about how it would look, if that bud would be worth it, and yet I needed to see if I could turn it into a flower. Then the thoughts of would it be good enough to bare fruit. I just wasn’t sure, if I was the right gardener.

The idea was to better myself, and I spent about a year thinking about it. Hell, I don’t even think that I thought too much on it, but that I wanted to just shut everything off. I didn’t want to deal with what life had given me at that time. I just wanted to feel numb. I wasn’t ready to grow yet.

When I had found out that change needed to happen, that’s when the idea started to form. I wasn’t quite ready for it to grow, but it was starting. When I decided to plant it, I made one of the most grown up decisions of my life: I would go back to school. I was tired of the wasteland that had become my life. I was tired of feeling trapped in a barren land where nothing was seemingly providing me with more than an unknown thirst. I couldn’t find a way to hydrate my soul, and I became desperate to quench that thirst. I just didn’t know how, or what I could do to change that feeling.

All I had known was that I needed something drastic to happen, and that came in the form of three words, “What’s up, bitches?” This would provide me with the time I needed to find the help and the watering trough that I would need to refresh myself. It’s funny to look back on that moment and realize that from a professional standpoint, “what’s up, bitches,” would be my legacy. Little did I realize that my life would take a drastic turn, and push me in ways I hadn’t expected.

As the seed was in the ground, I needed to water it, and school was the start of the fountain that would turn the seed into a bud. As I would go along, that fountain would also help that bud grow into a tree. This tree would bare the sweetest fruit that I had ever had in my life. I would become satisfied with a full belly, and the thirst would disappear.

As that tree started to grow almost four years ago. So would my life, and how funny that I would compare a tree to my life, as often that is the symbol of life. As a seed, my life was in shambles, I was ready to die, and I didn’t have my shit together. As, the process of education and going back to work happened, the tree grew bigger, and my life started to find the proper direction. Life had started to root into a solid foundation.

I wouldn’t have imagine that the fruit would end up being goals that I had never expected to accomplish. The CK Project was a seed that had died out when my life had become that barren wasteland. I had always wanted my own production company, when I was younger I always imagined that I’d be producing music, and movies, along with acting hadn’t ever been apart of that picture. Yet Luckey Bom Films would end up being the first fruit, and after consideration. The health and wellness part would become the second fruit.

Besides the Geekultural Experience the biggest blossom from the tree has been the drive that I never knew I had. This is where the gardening takes place, as I try to bare more fruit for my labors. So, now I’ve had time to see where my potential is taking me. I continue to grow, and the fruit keeps getting bigger and better. Life is turning into Eden for me, and I love it.

One year ago today, I had my first sleep study. It would lead me to this moment where I’m over one hundred pounds lighter, and my life expectancy has gotten longer. I’ve grown as a man, and I couldn’t be any more grateful for the support that I constantly get. The Facebook likes and comments, the Instagram likes, the Twitter comments. It all goes to validate what I’ve been trying to accomplish, and with the inspiration that people have told me that get from me, shows that I’m helping harvesting more gardens, and I hope that people can get what they are in return looking for.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

Pre 30k Weekend

Well, so far this week has been shit for steps, I think I broke 8k at one point earlier in the week, but outside of the Vegas trip, I haven’t really done much else. Though this is one of those weekend’s where all the aspects of my life are going to collide together. This will be good for all those aspects too.

We are in Anaheim tonight, getting ready for a weekend at the comic book convention Wonder Con. As a pre-game warm up, we decided to go to Disneyland for a couple of hours, and I got 14,956 steps for the night. Disney is one of those places that the steps take off(remember I did the 22k last time). So, now that I’ve done almost 15k, I think I will hit up the same amount, if not more tomorrow, and Saturday. Sunday should be the at least 10k.

I will be keeping people updated on my tasks for the CK Project,  but this weekend is more about my Geekultural Experience. Twitter @geekulturalxp is part of my multi-faceted brand that is going to shine this weekend. Plus there will be people that I can network with for my filmmaking stuff as well(see the three sides are colliding this weekend).

So, Instagram and Twitter are going to blow up this weekend, which will help launch the Geekultural Experience podcast next weekend. I can’t wait to start that part of the journey, as it fills out my skill list for things that I offer. This weekend, I’ll have my partner Ed Smith with us, and I can’t wait to share this side of the geekiness with him.

The bright side is that I’m not going to be eating much as my gastric sleeve won’t tolerate the foods that will be provided at the convention. With all the walking, things will be interesting for sure. At least being almost one hundred pounds lighter will keep my stamina up.

On the other side of things, this should be the last weekend that I’ll be out of town busy… I miss the weekends at home, I haven’t been creative like I would like to be, but the filmmaking job helps keep me busy, even if it doesn’t pay much of the bills yet.

So, much is going on right now, and since the start of my phase two: evolution, I’m looking forward to seeing where this is going to take me. The next thing that I’m going to worry about is the stress test which I take on Monday for work. I think that I’ll have a better time passing it this time, in compared to the last time I went through all of this. I don’t think that I’ll pass the physical agility test, but I will give it my best. Plus, I should start my personal training next week as well.

I will also be learning skills from my partner and friend Ed. This will help with another project that we’ll be doing, and there will be more details on that a bit later. I find learning is the best thing for me as I continue to grow as a person, both professionally and personally.

Going back to my weight loss journey, I’ve been reaching out to new people that are going through, or want to go through the process of weight loss surgery. I want to help give direction to those who might not know what to expect, or not sure how to handle the feelings that come with this process. I’m glad that I have some insight into what goes on internally.

I’ve been up entirely too long tonight, and we have a big day tomorrow. Lots of booths and panels that we want to check out. Stay tuned to the Geekultural Experience Twitter and Instagram pages as I’m going to be utilizing those as much as possible this weekend. I love sharing the geeky side of my passion with people, and hope that it becomes something people will want to continue to follow.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

The Flow is in The Work

So this day turned out to be such a great day.  To start out the day, I took it off so that I could handle a bit of family business, which went fairly smooth.  I was glad because it was too hot for working out doors(which is a daily routine for me).  Since I did free up my day, I decided to reach out to my partner Ed, and see if he wanted to do some work together in the studio.  It was a good thing he happened to be in that day.

Today was the first official day of us working together on one of our projects, and it went really well. I showed Ed and Sarah(my wife) how to break down a script into a shot list, and so we broke down a few scenes for our reshoots on Appreciate What You Got, and that was fun to explain how the whole process works when dealing with the pre-production process.  I’m feeling inspired to keep going and we went on to discuss a bit more on the Nash Gray project.  I’ll work on that after I get the notes resent to me.

We also discussed some on the CK Project, and we decided that we’re going to start it out as a podcast, as well as recording it on video at the same time.  This is what this blog here has been about the CK Project, also the reason for the Chris Keeling Productions address on this blog.  It really is all-in-one with what I’m doing.  This weekend is when we will be hashing out a few details before we start our first broadcast, and hope to bring it out weekly. There is so much more to the content that this project is going to have, that I hope that I can find time for ever thing that I plan on doing between the three big projects.

I don’t know how much I can shameless plug the things I’m involved with but, Luckey Bom Films, is where the movies and entertainment aspect of my creative side comes in at. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSpzpFCXIo1NAwJ_9kCxMHA is the link to my channel there.  Things will be popping up soon on this channel.  We are going to be wrapping up the reshoot soon, so that will be the second video on the channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/luckey97, this channel is my personal one, that I’m turning into the CK Project, this is my personal journey, and it it helps somebody with their struggles, then I’m doing what I set out to do in the first place.  It compliments well with this very blog page.

Now, the third big thing that I’m involved with is something that is local to my area, here in California,  and it’s called the Geeks of the IWV.  It was created from a tragic event, where my friends’s lost their son in an accident.  He was a great kid, who was a giant geek in his own right, and he left a void in so many lives.  I agreed as a way of helping them cope with that big hole left in their lives.  Never in my life did I think that this was going to change the way I do things.  I find a different kind of purpose in this group, and it feels good to share a passion in the geek culture.  We are doing things in the community, like a fund raiser called Relay for Life.  I never thought I would ever do anything like this, and yet it feels rewarding that I can help out and that our little group could make the difference.

I promise you that great things will be coming in the near future and I hope you take that chance to subscribe and support these various avenues that I’m taking.  There is so much to life for and I can’t wait for more adventures to start.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

That Right Feeling

Let me start out with the introduction video was a challenge to get uploaded, and it took several days to finally upload: https://youtu.be/dGhRPhagcbs.  So, it was hard for me to actually do much online this week.  Yet, this week went extremely well and I’m glad that this is the biggest step in the right direction.

Today, there was a moment in the studio when I was by myself that I realized that I’ve finally arrived at where I was meant to be.  I truly felt that all was right in the world, and that my life was going in the right direction.  I feel awesome when in the zone, and Ed tends to bring more of the creativity out of me.  I admire his musical talent, and hope to get to that level at some point.  After the announcement of last weekend, I started another Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ChrisKeelingProject/. This has been something that I’ve had in development since 2011, and now that I have a forum to present it, I find myself more excited that I can use my life experiences and try to motivate and help people.  Loneliness is something I want to help people deal with.

I don’t have classes for a week starting on Monday, and then it’s time for the crunch to get my student film completed, and this is the best learning experience for my team to experience a full production, most of the experience has been on me to do the different stages, and everyone has been on set when we filmed, but now is the chance to get my partner into the development stage.  I’ve found some other interest in what we’re doing and I will be getting involved with a few other projects in the near future.

Any way, that’s about all I have for this update, I’m going to enjoy Saturday night with a few friends, and get on finishing my homework tomorrow, so that I can get a better grade then I have now.  So this is the Director and that’s a wrap.

Self Doubt and Contemplating

I felt in a funk today.  I’ve been there for a couple of days, and I wasn’t sure why.  I think it started with the fact that I as thinking about doing some major rewrites to Life Happens, I feel that I need to add some real substance to the lead character as he deals with the tragedy that has befallen his family.  Then I started my new class last night and I bombed my first quiz.  My biggest problem about last night was that I was tired and too much into my own head to let anything really sink in.  I know that I shouldn’t let this bother me the way it has, so I need to shake myself out of this funk, and I’m going to do that.  Unfortunately going through this mindset also sets up the ever dooming question,”am I good enough?”  I know that I shouldn’t feel that way, but sometimes it’s hard to think of the silver lining.

I do feel a bit better, thank you for thinking it, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to let these negative thoughts get in the way of partaking in a celebration of my wife’s birthday.  She has tolerated me far longer than I think I would’ve ever tolerated myself.  I’ve known her for nineteen years, and that’s over half of our lives, and most of that has been together.  She’s been my strength when I’ve been down, and she’s seen me at my lowest too.

Now back to the first subject at hand, I hate being stuck in my own mind because I realized that thoughts like that tend to sabotage my own success.  That’s where being my own worse critic comes in at as well.  When you get told that you’re not good enough, it tends to stick with you throughout your life.  That’s not saying that I feel that way anymore, but that self doubt crawls in every once in awhile.  I’m glad that I have the people in my life that I do because they’ve been the biggest support in my life.  I’ve got an amazing set of friends, and my chosen family are the glue to my backbone.

I don’t plan on letting any minor set back phase me, because life has been going so well for me.  I’ve got the production studio being prepared to start producing content, and I’m looking forward to getting the creative process flowing again.  I’ve got so many ideas that I can’t wait to share with everyone, and I’ve gotten a few characters in development that I think will get some laughs once the sketches start being written.  I just hope that with Luckey Bom Films  and the CK Project are successful, and I hope that I don’t overwhelm myself by doing a billion things at once.  I can’t forget to mention the things I’ve been developing for the Geeks of the IWV.  This group has been going fairly decent for a local group that is almost a year old, and I’m glad that I can be part of this group with wonderful and passionate geeks like myself.  It really has brought my relationship with people to a better place.

So, I have a pod cast in the works, actually about three of them, and so I’m wondering what people think about the content I’d like to get out.  We have a geek pod cast, would anyone like to hear reviews on the latest Comics, movies, and maybe video games? How about video’s demonstrating some of the boardgames that we play?  For my other pod casts, what type of content would you like to see?  Relationships? Local News?  Up coming plans on where the projects and companies are going?

Final words-  Let me know what you think?  I’m trying to get more marketable and I’d love any input that you might have?  Take care and good night.