Under 300!!!

I feel great, scratch that, I feel fucking amazing. I went in for my eighth month check-up down in Tarzana yesterday, and weighed in at 299.6. That puts me down 130.3 pounds. Plus, the doctor asked if West Medical could use me as an example, because I seem to be doing everything right. I even told the doctor that I blog about my experiences with the weight loss journey, and my depression, and he thinks that it’s good. He says that it’s best to hear from someone who’s actually gone through the process over having the doctor talk about the science aspect of it.

I find that this is a good way to promote the CK Project brand. This and the fact that we’ll be making our public debut next month at our local parade for September eleventh.  I feel that finally time is starting to really pay off for my presence locally. Hard work pays off, and that is something that has been true for me over the last several years, as I’ve started to embrace that change.

I’ve never been a shy person, and I’ve always liked to talk to people. Now, I’m embracing a side that looks to network, and I’ve been having so much positivity around me that it gets surreal sometimes. I think my insecurities has always been my biggest enemy, and hill to climb. Self doubt will sabotage you every single time. I know that it’s gotten to me and has been very destructive in some of the relationships that I’ve had throughout the years.

Yesterday, I made another revelation: I’m starting to feel that I’m getting the body that I’ve always pictured that I should have. I don’t feel  trapped in the fat body I used to have, and I’m going to keep progressing until I get down to the weight I feel best at. I feel that both my personal and professional relationships are benefiting from this change as well. I interact with people better, and I think that I’ve become a better parent from it as well.

Now that I’m finding my groove again, I’m able to get the creative side flourishing again, and I find that with school starting back up on Tuesday for the kids. Everything’s going to feel different. The year 2018, has been my year. I’ve had so much more with success than I have with failures. Even if I didn’t get that job that I worked hard towards. I figure it was leading somewhere better for me anyway. It’s at the very least pushed me in the direction to start pushing out the content like I wanted too.

I finished my rough cut of my short the other night, so now I’m going to go back into it and trim it up, find a better pacing so that I can throw it into After Effects and add a bit of special effects to it. Than I’ll go back and add the sound, then do a title screen and credits. The Reunion was fun, but I’m looking to film more movies where there’s more movement and action to it. I love this part of my life. It seems to give me a better purpose than I had previously, and the fact that I can share with friends and family is a huge plus.

I’ll have so much more for everyone soon, because we’re investigating another avenue for our brands. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Third Annual SuperHero Shirt Day

For the last two years, I’ve blogged about the loss of my young friend James Stewart. He was tragically taken from his family and friends at the age of eighteen. The loss of this young man’s life has left a huge void in the many lives he has touched. While I wasn’t close to him, I’m surprised by how much this event impacted my own personal life.

The pain and suffering of a parent’s loss for a child is unfathomable, I can only imagine that it’s a pain that never goes away. Even being told by my friends how their pain hasn’t gotten better, makes me thankful that I haven’t loss my own children, and I hope that I’ll be able to pass on before they do. My love for my friends has never been deeper and I’m the most stanch supporter for these people, and hope that it gets easier to deal with.

Two years has passed, and this was the third get together to honor the memory of James. I noticed the people amassing together has gotten smaller, and people who weren’t directly involved have pushed the subject to the back burners of their minds. Life goes on, right? People have their own lives to live, and most of us are fortunate enough to kiss our children and tuck them in at night. Lucky us….

I’ve had friends and family lose children. Still birth, accidents, etc. How do they continue on when something they’ve dealt with for so long. Can we, the lucky one’s even try to put ourselves in that situation? This is an uncomfortable subject that many would look down and shuffle their feet while it’s being mentioned around them.  So, let’s take a moment of silence, and remember those who’ve gone through hell.

As a man, I look at my children, and see my legacy being continued on. I’m sure there’s a bit of ego in there to see that the lineage will continue on for years, with children coming for many generations. I’m sure that’s the way many people feel… Now, picture that being torn away from you in an instant. Maybe it started with a questionable feeling? Then, at a later time, you get that phone call… your gut already knew what the audible was telling you. Shit, it just got real, and now it’s gone. Life as you knew it just ceased to exist. That’s deep, and as I write this, it just got deeper for me too.

There are many failings that I, as a man, as a father, as a son, have done in my life. Things that I know that I can never express the kind of sorrow that I have for my actions. Things said, things done. I don’t let my past define who I am, unfortunately, we live in a time where every action, every word that has ever been said or done, is being scrutinized. The sins of the past have come to haunt us, even if we’re different people than who we were. I use James Gunn as an example, because Disney let him go as a director for tweets that were made ten plus years ago. Is that where we’ve come from as a society. Offend the few now with things from the past, and it comes to ruin for someone’s career? Life?

I have a glimmer of hope that deep down inside, we are better than that as a society. I’ve always held that hope. That’s why things like racism, and sexism baffle my mind. We’ve should have evolved as a society beyond these thoughts, long ago. I see that we’re slowly getting there, but then there are other parts that end up just as bad. The bullied become the bully. This was try in my youth as well.

After many years of being called names and being treated bad, I had become what I hated. Hell there are memes based on being a hero, but living long enough to be the bad guy. There’s truth in that, and what’s sad is that you don’t always see it coming. You try to rationalize it as doing “just deserts” and you don’t always realize that you’re in the wrong.

I’m a believer in redemption. I’ve over came things to be a better person. Hell the themes in the stories I write generally have some sort of theme, wether major or minor, has to do with redemption. I think people can change for the better, and no matter what experience takes you to that other place. I believe that anyone can be a stronger person for it. Which brings everything back around to the original subject…

The loss of a child can be a rally cry to have things change for the better. A child drowns, that means that there needs to be better safety standards. Toys that are choking hazards, accidents… Something’s gone wrong somewhere and it needs to be answered for. Nobody should have to deal with the loss of their child. Children are the future, and we need to make it better for them.

This is the Director, and let’s try to love ourselves and each other a bit more.

The Long Awaited Update

Twelve days is a long time to update. Part of it was due to technical difficulty, and part of it was due to the fact that I started working a new schedule this last week at work. Adjusting from a morning start time, to an afternoon start time has thrown off my schedule. It’s weird when you do something for a certain time for a number of years, just to try and something new, it’s a major adjustment.

So, I took my girls up north to San Jose for a Paramour concert last weekend. Foster the People headlined with them, and I wasn’t quite able to catch the name of the opening act, but I’m gonna research when I have some time. The whole concert was amazing, and we were in the lawn section, the only bad part was that vapors and joints were getting lit up and blown everywhere. I have a seventeen-year-old who has asthma, so that made the experience for her less than pleasant. At least she enjoyed the show, and as a parent, I get a joy in the heart watching my kids be happy. Even if I spent the total of six hours each way to get there and get home.

The drive really kicked my ass, but it was nice to explore somewhere I’d never been before.

So, for the last ten years of my job, I’ve worked from five in the morning to around three in the afternoon. I’ll be the first to admit that I hate getting up before six, and four o’clock has been the norm for me for so long. I started the swing shift this week. I’m glad that I can get up with out an alarm, but I’m finding my day starting at one, and ending at eleven to be a bit of an adjustment. This is why I haven’t been so active this last week on social media, plus our internet was out(damn technology).

Because of this adjustment, I’ve been trying to spend as much time with the kids before school starts again, because they’re so used to me being home and spending the evenings and nights with them. I love my kids, and they grow up so damn fast. Hell, I can’t believe that school is almost back in session.

Let’s get on too the real reason people tend to follow my blog, for the weight loss journey aspect of it. I had to adjust my training sessions, so now I do Tuesdays and Thursdays at nine-thirty. I actually like working out earlier in the day, I just hate not being able to help with the grappling class.

I did notice that I lost a few more pounds and that I’m about 304.7. I’m hoping to see the numbers under 300 by my next check-up in two weeks. It would be amazing to be a weight that I was or less, than when I was first in my relationship with Sarah. My workouts are getting more intense and I’m lifting heavier as well. I’m getting stronger, and I actually added a third day, by going to the gym today. It was fun, because I got to take Little Chris and teach him some lifting exercises. Not only is it a great bonding experience, but it’s fun to share the passion of lifting with him.

I’m hoping that this upcoming week is the week that I find a new rhythm at work. The pace is way different, but my new crew is awesome, so it makes work enjoyable. I have a few more things getting lined up for projects, one being a documentary, which I can’t quite get into the details quite yet, but it’s going to be powerful once we start working on it. Also, we’re starting to film our first post school project next weekend, and with the business meetings going on this weekend, it feels good to get things going again.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

No Pain, No Gain

So, I have a five day weekend that started yesterday, and because it was the fourth of July, I didn’t get my personal training session in. That’s okay, because I made it up today, and suffered for it. Sometimes, I ask myself why I do the things I do, then I remember, because I don’t want to be unhealthy anymore.

Today, Sam started to help me find my inner strength to help push through all the pain, and suffering to get the best workout that I can. I’ve never been one to grunt or yell in the gym…and I’ll leave it at that. However, I’m being shown that it helps bring my inner strength out, and helps me keep going for a few more reps, at least.

Again, I’m reminded that I still have that man trapped in a bigger body mentality. It’s not always easy to over come, especially since I’ve not be able to do things for years do to my mobility. I know that I should be able to do more things, but what my mind and body think is sometimes two totally different things. I find myself trying to convince my body that I can do these things, even when it wants me to hesitate.

Since I’m on a five-day weekend, I decided to put myself through a six-day challenge with my ten-k-step challenge. I’m currently on day three, and I’m not quite half-way there yet. I figured that I would get a bit of rest before going back out to finish it off because I did squats today. I’m usually good with doing the three-sets of twenty, however, we also did more sets  and different variations on the squat.

I got my my steps in yesterday, but I ended up with another oddly shaped sunburn again. The barbell was a bit uncomfortable on the sunburn, yet I pushed through and did alright. I surprised myself with as well as I did. Plus, we got in some deeper sets on top of the normal squats we did.

The more I train, the more I think that I really do want to learn and also become a personal trainer as well. Like I said before, it would add a bit of Creedence to my CK Project, and I really do like helping other people. Whether by motivation, inspiration, or however, it gives me a different purpose in my life. I don’t think I would have ever wanted to do this about ten or so years ago.

I know that when I started the Project about seven years ago, it was more about accountability, than anything else. I was glad that people where being inspired, and it made me feel good to know that I could have such a positive impact, now it’s one of the driving forces behind what I do.

This is the legacy that I want to leave: The fact that I was able to help someone change for the better. There’s been too much in my life that’s been caused by negativity, and I don’t want to be someone who has turned into something that just adds to the negativity. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this all too much on social media. Facebook, Twitter; there’s a bunch of negative posts about religion and politics that happens.

I find that I’ve seen the worst in people on my pages. I choose not to comment because I pick and choose my battles, even though I’m also going to admit now, that I have a tendency to be interested in the unknown variables, just because I’m interested in the way “the system” will respond to it. It can be frustrating that I find myself on the losing end of the vote, as often times what I wanted, doesn’t seem to win.

Anyway, as I’ve observed the political debates, or religious debates go from a mature amicable conversation, to name calling and a two paragraph message on someone’s reason that someone else is “stupid”. I mean come on, we all have our opinions, but why does it have to resort to name calling, just because someone doesn’t agree. Why not just agree to disagree, so that the name calling doesn’t devolve into a match of a typed out boxing match. I feel that it doesn’t put a favorable light on the complete argument. Yes, I’ve fallen into this trap a couple of times, but I’m trying to become a better person, and not reflect that type of negativity.

All I’m saying is, try and be good humans to each other, and with that being said, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap. I do have my seven month check-up on Saturday, and we’re going to be spending the day on adventures.

Fireworks in The Air

Aww, the sound of colorful gun powder blowing up in the air! A day that seventeen years ago, fundamentally changed me as a man. The fourth of July is a day of celebration, for many it’s a day to recognize the independence our country got. To me, it’s the day that my oldest child gains another year of life on this earth.

Let me take you back into time, before I really needed to go on the weight loss journey, before I turned into the man that people know today. As a matter of fact let me take you back to the year 2000….

At this point in my life, I was separated from my soon to be annulled significant other. Sure, we’re only married for 6 months, but my experiences with her makes her a significant part of my life. I had been in my new job, at the time for just over a month. We’re seeing more money than ever, but her problem was that I was always gone out of town for work.

A good part of my job was the fact that I got to work with my father. This was a great experience, because I really got to know him, and bound with him with the many hours on the road, going from job to job. It took us from this small town to places like Bakersfield, Ca, which wasn’t really a stretch, but it took us to Seattle, Wa and Denver, Co.  See, this is were the ex was having problems, and needless to say we ended up splitting up after all was said and done.

One of the things that I didn’t completely realize at that time was that I ended up becoming broken in this abusive relationship. It was mostly verbal, and on both sides. When it was all said and done, I was a suffering in a way I couldn’t comprehend.

Sure, we tried to have kids, but the mental games that were played just didn’t help when she had told me that she “miscarried”. At this point, I was just numb to everything that she would use to try and hurt me. This incident happened on my first trip to Seattle. I had gotten a cell phone and was using it too call her. When she laid the news on me, but I didn’t feel anything since this was the umpteenth time that something like this was used to hurt me.

Court wasn’t pleasant, but afterward I had found comfort and safety in the arms of my now wife Sarah. She got with me, helped put my pieces back together, and somehow we ended up creating this wonderful child, who is both my pride and joy, and the pain in my ass. I love her though.

The good thing about Autumn is that she is a smart girl, and she doesn’t go out and make poor choices. The bad thing about Autumn is that she’s a smart girl, and has a time or two called me out on my bullshit. This can be frustrating at times, since she’s seen me at my lowest point as well.

No matter where we are in our complicated relationship of father and daughter, I will always be proud of her being my child, and I’m even more so about the woman she’s becoming and the goals that she’s setting for herself. It’s incredible to see her evolution as a person. Finding her place in this world, watching her “fan girl” over anything Disney. The child that matches me in wit and challenges me to look at my own self.

As she reaches into her seventeenth year, and starts the last leg of her high school years, I’ve been trying to think of what advice I would give her(if she reads this). Remember that you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, trust your instincts. Figure out what you truly want to do with your life. Go with your instincts. I spent too much of my life listening to what other’s thought would be best, and it took me too long to go for what my heart desired.

I love you, yes I know you think I have to say that because I’m your dad, but it’s true. I have you and your brother, and you two are the most important people to me. You’ve filled my life and helped to give it purpose. I’m sorry that I haven’t always been the best dad, there’s no instructions on how to be spot on every time. Know that even in my darkest of times, I’ve always wanted the best for you.

So with that, I wish my kid a happy seventeenth birthday, and will be happy to celebrate it with her. This is the director, and thinking of were the hell did the time go? That’s a wrap.

“Fat Tuesday”

Everything’s been going well; I’ve lost some weight, and I’ve been feeling better than I have in years, however, I did have a fat day yesterday. No, I didn’t gorge myself on food, and I don’t think I started retaining water, but I just felt like I was fat yesterday. I know that it comes occasionally with the territory, I mean, I’ve not had this much success in losing weight and it takes time to convince my brain to realize that I’m not fat. It’s funny how the mind places tricks like that.

Could it have been from the heat? Maybe it was because I was up early, and I wasn’t completely functioning when I got dressed. All I know is that I had a day of feeling fat. It’s odd that I felt that way yesterday, and yet today I feel pretty damn good about myself. As a matter of fact, I’ll up that ante and say that I feel like my three x shirt was a bit bigger on me than I thought it would be. I’ll take that win.

I’m getting ready to have a wrench thrown into my life by having to change my schedule at work. So, I’m shifting to the swing shift, which would put me at a one pm to eleven pm time frame. The best part is that I won’t have to wake up at four in the morning: at least for the next six months. That is either until we have to change schedules again, or I get that ever hopeful other job.

This puts me in a difficult place as to where my life is right now. I spend most of the afternoon and evening with the kids, and then we do my personal training sessions, and I also assist with the kid’s grappling class. I find that I’ve been enjoying playing “couch” to help develop the youngsters, as they grow as a team and individuals. Yes, the biased part of me, loves to watch my own kids participate, and interact with them as well.

Another issue that this might present, is the fact that I just finally casted The Dialogue and we’ll need to get some meetings so that we can get the script and the chemistry down. I’m really excited by this because I had to do the whole casting process with minimal help. I do like to work with my team on these decisions, but I was okay filling in the role on this project, and doing the final decision calls, wasn’t bad. Everybody who tried out, brought something that got me thinking of other ways to utilize these talents in other projects, and I look forward to working with each of those who didn’t make it in another project.

I also found myself with the opportunity to recruit another member into the crew. This individual, I actually met on a movie set as we were both extras in a low-budget sci-fi movie. We got to know each other a bit over the weekend we spent on set, and geeked out about comics(what a surprise, right?). He had said that he had wanted to have his own indie company, but I beat him to it. I replied with the fact that we’ve been looking to expand for the last few months, and I’ll find somewhere to apply his talents.

I’m not going to lie, I had a week of where I wasn’t exactly motivated to get much done as a creative individual, and that’s okay, because I’m back, baby! I’ve got that motivation back and I’m going to be working on several things. I love the things I do, it brings a since of peace that I need.

Before I end this blog, I want to give a huge, HUGE shout out to my friend Terri Peterson. She does a blog called MY BARIATRIC JOURNEY, and she’s been accepted to have the weight loss surgery. I’ve known her for about nine months, and we’ve shared in each other’s successes. I’m proud of her, and glad that we became friends. If you’re curious, I suggest checking out her blog, as it is very personal and heart felt.

So much is going on, and I can’t wait to see where things take me. This is the Director, and that is a wrap.

Lost Words

As someone who tries to have a positive word, I find myself sometimes stumped on the right words to say. I’ve been struggling with finding the right words to put someone’s mind at rest. I’ve tried tell them that everything’s going to be okay, but I’m not sure that those are the words, they want to hear. I know that we’ve been trying to move forward with getting something together so that we can start filming, and I know that we will. It’s just finding the proper rhythm, and getting the cogs to function together takes time.

Sure, I would expect far more if we were getting paid to produce something. That’s kind of the ugly part about being the guy in charge. However, with this all being voluntary, I’m personally not expecting things to work right away. I appreciate everyone who does donate their time to helping me, and being part of the team.  It’s supposed to be fun, right? And that’s the feeling that I’m going to continue to have, even if we have a few hiccups along the way.

I get the frustrations that things aren’t moving forward fast enough. Hell, I’ve spent the last year, trying to get head way on a new profession, and I’m just now seeing a real glimmer of hope. Truth is, I too want to have something that we can get into pre-production, and I know we will…even if it takes a bit longer to get there. I’ve got a talented group of people working with me, and it’s just getting the right thing to start moving forward. I know that’s going to happen soon.

This weekend is a four day weekend for me, and I think that I’m going to have one productive weekend, as I work on projects, that I’ve not had all the time to focus on. I know that more script writing will be involved, and I love the process.

For a change of subject; I was realizing today that I’m about a week away from my six month mark for my surgery. God, this has been an interesting ride, to say the least. I already feel like a new man, and I can’t wait to see where this ride is going to take me. Even at my surgery weight of 400.1 pounds, I’ve already lost eighty-two, that’s crazy. This last year was all about me busting my ass off. No regrets, whatsoever.

I can’t wait to have my studio done so that I can produce more of the regular video’s that I did when we were renting the studio. It was so much fun getting those videos in. Even from that time period, things have vastly changed. As I reflect on that time period, I’ve realized that I’m not the same person I was a year ago.

I think there’s a certain maturity in that. My motivation, my drive, it’s all on a different level now. As much as I like my video games, and watching television, I just don’t feel like I have the time anymore. I feel like I have even less time for bullshit, as I’m working on achieving my dreams of being a successful film director.

It’s amazing to see how I’ve grown as a storyteller as well. Believe it or not, blogging has helped me be a better writer, and storyteller. I remember when I thought coming up with 500 words felt like such a struggle to accomplish. When I started, I’d average about 300-400 words, and I would be done telling my story.

I still feel days that blogging is a chore, but the truth is, it has gotten so much easier to write thoughts, and put the details done as I go along. I even called to talk to someone about how they could improve their script writing last night. It was a great moment to share my experience… I sometimes can’t believe it’s my life that I’m living still. I almost feel that it’s an outer body experience at times. Someday reality will hit me that I’m the one doing all this stuff, I’m sure of it.

Any way, this is the director, and that’s a wrap!

“Don’t Call It a Come Back”

It’s funny to see where I was in the beginnings of my blogging life. So, much has changed since the early blogs.

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

    As I review these few sentences that I wrote in 2016. I remember thinking that I would try and write 500 words on every blog. I also remember thinking that 500 words were far harder to come up with than I thought they would be.

As I’ve gone along, my writing has gotten better, and my words are averaging about 670. My views and likes have gone up as well. That makes me feel a bit justified in the writings that I do.

At that time, I thought, “hey, I’ll just right all my thoughts down.” Little did I know that I would finally come up with a plan that focused more on mental health and a weight loss journey. I knew that the mental health was always something that I planned on addressing, and that’s why I keep a certain amount of transparency in my life. It’s a raw and brutal truth at times. I see that some people don’t seem to handle my decisions well, and to each their own really. I’m doing this because I know what it’s like to be someone who didn’t know what to do about a given situation and was too afraid to ask for the help, until it was too late.

I don’t want anyone to ever get into a desperate situation that could have lasting negative effects. That’s why I’ve asked myself to commit to this task. It’s not always easy to speak on what is currently going on in my life. I don’t always feel comfortable being vulnerable, but I find it necessary, not only in my personal growth, but in the aid of others. It’s refreshing when I get pm’s that state how helpful that was for a situation someone was in.

If I’m to speak plainly about some of the comments. The ego’s been fed when the pretty girl I had a crush on in school, mentions how proud she is of what I’m doing. Hopefully she, or they know who they are, and thank you for helping me feel that I’ve not waisted my time on this.

Exploring who I am as a person, has brought me on an incredible journey, as I’ve made more friends, and more solid relationships along the way. I’m fortunate enough to say that I’ve got an amazing group of people, who I get to work with on the personal projects. Part of that discovery is that being transparent about myself has helped give courage to putting myself out there to network, and not be afraid of asking for help.

It’s in these connections that I find the most reward. Then to look back on the first few blogs that I did, and to see where I’m at now compared to where I was, or what I thought I would be doing at that time, it blows my mind. Never would I have thought that I would be as driven to succeed as I am now. The film company was something I always wanted, but to add the CK Project  and the Geekultural Experience wasn’t what I was striving for at the time. Hell, I don’t even think I was in any kind of thoughts about having the Gastric Sleeve done.

Now, I’m over 100 pounds down, and I’m constantly staying busy with my brands to get them up and successful. Anything worth doing is never easy, but I’m determined to make something amazing happen, and I have the right people involved to help me get there, and they get to share in that success with me as well.

Anyway, this is the Director and that’s a wrap.

Chris Keeling Productions

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

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After The Funk

So, having a poor mindset the last few days, I’m finally over that hump, and am overall feeling better. I want to thank those who reached out to me both on my social media post, and to me personally. I appreciate the love and support more than you know.

Now, I’m back to the old me, or should that be the new me? Mister positivity and all that good stuff. I’m feeling sore from the workout yesterday, but I’m feeling great overall. Every once in a while, I think we all tend to have mini pity parties. Yet, there is good news on the horizon.

While, I’m talking about news, I’m looking to look at expanding the merchandise line even more by taking on another person for the supplies. Shirts, and mugs will come from one play and there might be other things coming from another source. I’ll give more details on that later.

Part of my funk was that I was feeling a bit creatively stuck, but now that everything has been resolved, I’m finding other ideas to follow and start to make a story. I love the part of being a creative person. With that, there will be another meeting with the production team soon enough, and we can tackle more of the ideas to get the team’s ball rolling.

I think that my personal trainings sessions are going great. I also feel that I have so much too over come mentally as my body and mind are still arguing with each other about getting the tasks done. My mind wasn’t quite ready to tell my body that I could push through another push up or two…more like five, but who’s really counting. The best thing is that I’m noticing the changes in my arms, a bit more definition when I flex, and not so flabby.

This was just a short blog to update everyone that I’m okay, and that things are back to normal. This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Life’s Too Short

Today, I found out that someone I have known for a few years passed away unexpectedly. We weren’t close, but we were cordial with each other, and I had just seen this individual on Wednesday. As of this morning, he’s no longer with us. It makes me think about how short life really is. I think about how we should live life to the best of our ability, and appreciate the positive things in life. We should also not dwell on the negativity that is put out there.

This is why I do what I do. I’ve been beaten down by negative comments and energies. I’ve felt like there wasn’t anyone to turn too, or any way out of a bad situation. Once I realized that life can offer more then I was giving credit for, things began to turn around.  We never know what the next day can bring for us, but I choose to face the day as best as I can and be grateful for the gifts that I’ve been given. I have a wonderful wife, and three of the greatest kids anyone can ask for.

That’s not to say that I don’t have my days that I wonder if it’s really all worth it, but everyone can have a bad day. Life’s a roller coaster that strange events can be thrown like a curve ball. Again, I choose to step up to bat and embrace the challenges ahead.

I’ve been making strides forward with my weight loss journey, and I’ll be weighing in this Friday for the updated results. This is defiantly a change from where I was three years ago, when I didn’t really care if I died. I almost embraced the idea, but I want to live. I want to celebrate life and the people who happen to be involved with it. I feel fortunate in the people that I’ve connected with over the last few years, especially.

I’m a member of the Society of Creative Anachronisms,  and I was welcomed in by my friend and fellow geek Kim. It was this introduction to medieval re-enactment that I’ve forged some strong bonds with a great group of people. I may not always agree with them, but there is a family that’s there to support each other.

I’m also a co-creator and member of The Geeks of the IWV. This was created in dedication to my friends after they had lost their oldest child. It was a way to help with the grieving process, but it’s opened so many other doors for me as a person, as I hope that it has my co-creator. I’ve learned so much about being able to bound with people over geeky pop culture subjects, and have been able to share incredible experiences, with the group of people that supports over 95 people.

As with this blog, these groups, and my brands, there’s so much that I’ve learned about myself over the last few years in particular. One, I have a passion to learn new things. While that doesn’t seem too far out there, it’s thought provoking for me to realize that I don’t ever want to stop learning, and growing. New experiences are the best.

Two, when set out to create something, I prefer to have someone to create something with. I find that I can put people’s talents to the most potential to get something done. This not only goes towards, the geeks, but we’ve had a great time with Luckey Bom Films, as well.

Three, I really do like to help others in need. Being a support for other people and their problems, or situations, has given me a different perspective in life. Sometimes, just the offer for help seems to be enough, yet there are times that I feel that I don’t ever do enough as it is. All anybody can do is try.

If these blogs have tried to show anybody something, is that I’m using my experience to try and help guild people towards something better. I know that people have troubles asking for help, and I want to help. I want to be able to motivate people to do something to help them with their struggles. I hope that you find this enlightening, and if you feel the need to talk, just reach out, I’m here. I’ll do my best to be there to listen.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.