Friday the 13th, Anniversary

So, tomorrow is my seventeenth anniversary with my wife. She’s probably the single reason that I’ve been successful in the things I’ve done so far. She supports, and pushes me to do better, and quite frankly, if I didn’t have that support, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

So, it seems a bit odd that we would get married on a Friday the thirteenth, but I’m not a believer in superstitions, as a matter of fact, they tend to work in my favor more than against me anyway. Seventeen years is a long time. In my generation, it seems uncommon to be together that long, and yet, here we are.

So, for a successful relationship, I’ve got some tips for anybody trying to have a long lasting relationship. First of all is communications: it took me a long time to learn this, as a matter of fact, I think it took both of us to learn this fact. Something that can be coupled with this is honesty. I know that sometimes truth can be a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s better to be honest about everything. Secrets tend to fester into something bigger than it should ever be. I know that sometimes people fuck up, it’s better to say something then let it eat you up inside. They know, somehow they’re smart enough to know when something is wrong.

Something I learned along the way that I wish I would have known in the beginning is don’t rush into anything. The best thing is to enjoy the relationship for what it is before complicating it with something like children, or even marriage can sometimes be too much. Autumn came into our lives fairly quickly, and we had to grow up as a couple quick. Neither one of us has any regrets, but as a reflection, we could have grown as a couple before the complications of pregnancy came in.

Not everything is smooth, and love isn’t perfect. This is truth, in most aspects of life anyway. You’re your own person, with your own opinions, and let’s face it, as an individual, you’re not always going to see “eye to eye” with everybody. Some days,  you’re gonna hate that face of the other person, but if you decide to stick it out, you’ll be able to accomplish so much in your lives together.

There’s an energy that happens when you start a relationship that’s called The New Relationship Energy.  It’s that feeling you get when the relationship is new and exciting. You get tricked into thinking that everything is perfect, and that person is perfect. It would be great if this could last, however that veil will be lifted up at some point, and then that’s when you discover the things your partner does that drives you crazy. Maybe you don’t like the snoring they do when you guys sleep. Maybe you don’t like their bathroom habits. That shit matters, and quite frankly can end up being the deal breaker for some people. I have my faults, and she has her’s, but we look past it to work on being a family.

While we’ve been married seventeen years, we’ve been together almost eighteen. I think part of what makes us work is the fact that we were friends first. I think a solid friendship helps, because essentially your partner’s gonna know you better than your best friend, unless you’re lucky enough to marry your best friend. I’ve found a best friend in Sarah, and I’ve gotten to know her better than my best friend.

When you get into a relationship, you becomes a we, and as a we, you become one. There are habits that you’re eventually going to pick up from your partner, and there’s things that your partner might pick up that will drive you crazy somewhere. That’s something I can only say you’ll have to figure out on your own. However, a word of cation: if you have kids, be of one mind when child rearing, because kids, can sense when there’s a difference of opinion, and they will use it to their advantage.

As a last bit of reflection, I’m lucky that Sarah had experience with raising her brother and sisters, it helped me find a path to being a parent. While I don’t always seem to give my thanks to her online or talk about all the current issues plaguing our relationship, I think that’s in our favor, because people like to cause trouble at times, and again, people have opinions. I know that I have some very different opinions about life choices than some of the people we know and hang out with, but I respect people for what they believe in and I would never force my opinion on them.

So to my wife, happy anniversary! You’ve stuck with my crazy ass so far, and I hope you want to continue for at least a little while longer. This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Fireworks in The Air

Aww, the sound of colorful gun powder blowing up in the air! A day that seventeen years ago, fundamentally changed me as a man. The fourth of July is a day of celebration, for many it’s a day to recognize the independence our country got. To me, it’s the day that my oldest child gains another year of life on this earth.

Let me take you back into time, before I really needed to go on the weight loss journey, before I turned into the man that people know today. As a matter of fact let me take you back to the year 2000….

At this point in my life, I was separated from my soon to be annulled significant other. Sure, we’re only married for 6 months, but my experiences with her makes her a significant part of my life. I had been in my new job, at the time for just over a month. We’re seeing more money than ever, but her problem was that I was always gone out of town for work.

A good part of my job was the fact that I got to work with my father. This was a great experience, because I really got to know him, and bound with him with the many hours on the road, going from job to job. It took us from this small town to places like Bakersfield, Ca, which wasn’t really a stretch, but it took us to Seattle, Wa and Denver, Co.  See, this is were the ex was having problems, and needless to say we ended up splitting up after all was said and done.

One of the things that I didn’t completely realize at that time was that I ended up becoming broken in this abusive relationship. It was mostly verbal, and on both sides. When it was all said and done, I was a suffering in a way I couldn’t comprehend.

Sure, we tried to have kids, but the mental games that were played just didn’t help when she had told me that she “miscarried”. At this point, I was just numb to everything that she would use to try and hurt me. This incident happened on my first trip to Seattle. I had gotten a cell phone and was using it too call her. When she laid the news on me, but I didn’t feel anything since this was the umpteenth time that something like this was used to hurt me.

Court wasn’t pleasant, but afterward I had found comfort and safety in the arms of my now wife Sarah. She got with me, helped put my pieces back together, and somehow we ended up creating this wonderful child, who is both my pride and joy, and the pain in my ass. I love her though.

The good thing about Autumn is that she is a smart girl, and she doesn’t go out and make poor choices. The bad thing about Autumn is that she’s a smart girl, and has a time or two called me out on my bullshit. This can be frustrating at times, since she’s seen me at my lowest point as well.

No matter where we are in our complicated relationship of father and daughter, I will always be proud of her being my child, and I’m even more so about the woman she’s becoming and the goals that she’s setting for herself. It’s incredible to see her evolution as a person. Finding her place in this world, watching her “fan girl” over anything Disney. The child that matches me in wit and challenges me to look at my own self.

As she reaches into her seventeenth year, and starts the last leg of her high school years, I’ve been trying to think of what advice I would give her(if she reads this). Remember that you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, trust your instincts. Figure out what you truly want to do with your life. Go with your instincts. I spent too much of my life listening to what other’s thought would be best, and it took me too long to go for what my heart desired.

I love you, yes I know you think I have to say that because I’m your dad, but it’s true. I have you and your brother, and you two are the most important people to me. You’ve filled my life and helped to give it purpose. I’m sorry that I haven’t always been the best dad, there’s no instructions on how to be spot on every time. Know that even in my darkest of times, I’ve always wanted the best for you.

So with that, I wish my kid a happy seventeenth birthday, and will be happy to celebrate it with her. This is the director, and thinking of were the hell did the time go? That’s a wrap.

Unfollowed Success

So, as much as I’ve been talking about my successes and experiences, much like my weight loss journey, or getting my brands started. I’ve shared some other things, like my failures as a man, a husband, a father. I’ve used them as examples of my short comings, and the terms I’ve come too in life. I’m going to use this platform for kind of a rant, or more of a way to find understanding tonight.

Social media, can both be a blessing and a curse. The blessings come in the form that you can connect to long lost friends, and family. You get to share your successes, and good memories that you make. Even too the point as the memories are happening. The access is amazing with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, these platforms can appeal to our vanity, as well as our pride.

There’s the other side of social media though that causes it to be a curse as well. Some people over share their lives, which is fine, but it also opens up for critical critiquing. People secretly judge you behind their screens, without so much as a repercussion for “trolling” people. This is the side that detaches us from human interaction. This is the time when we as a judgmental society, can feel that our opinions are relevant, and we can treat each other like assholes.

I’ve vented about my relationships in the past, I’ve shared my struggles because I didn’t feel that I had anyone to actually talk to. The problem there is why it might feel gratifying, I was never sure who was actually siding with me, or who was just trying to sabotage who I was a person. People can be supportive on your timeline, but secretly sharing the info with other’s who would just assume to see some one fail.

Tonight, I was rebuked on my Facebook page about over sharing. Now, I’m not sure where he was getting all this info from, but he mentioned my wife sharing things as well, and that he was tired of see all the complaints. He even used #keepyourmarriageprivate. Now, people said that he should have private messaged me about it, which I in turn messenger him, and text him to see if everything was okay, because it wasn’t something that I felt sounded quite like him. Yes, he is someone that I know in person, but I was a bit surprised by the words he had put on my page.

I’m not going to sit here and say well, it’s my page and I can put what I want on it. That’s already a given, and like I mentioned about the dark side of social media. That’s exactly one of the problems, it gives people the feeling of entitlement, like their opinion is the only that matters. If that’s the way someone wants to take it, it is their right, but yes, that is something that the medium is there for. It just vexed me that I would get attacked for answering some simple and fun questions. They were innocent enough, after all, it wasn’t like I was trying to open the Arc of the Convenient. It wasn’t like the questions where asking if I voted for Clinton or Trump. I guess my response was interpreted the wrong way.

So, let me talk about what social media has done for me. MySpace gave me the opportunity to reconnect with some of my oldest and dearest friends from my past. People with whom I’ve grown closer too, and have gotten an abundance of support from. I’ve been able to connect with family members that I’ve never been able to meet in person, and learn about some of my heritage. I’ve also learned that I don’t always get along with some of those family members. I’ve also been able to give support to people in various states and countries around the world because of social media.

I’ve also been able to get employment from being connected to social media. Plus I was able to finally find the right schooling for me to get my degree in. I’ve grown relationships, and personally through this technology. It’s helped me grow and get my shit together. I’ve become someone I would never have thought I would be through my work online.

I’m now a businessman, trying to get three separate brands going. I’ve become a guild to those who feel that they need experience to guid them with their weight. Some have gotten help with mental health struggles. This is why I do what I do. I found a place in myself to not be selfish and give unto others. My experience has become a tool. My times of weakness, has now become my strength and I use it to be a beacon for others to find a light shining in the darkness.

While I would usually say that it’s a wrap, I have a message for the nay sayers. I am who I am, and you either like me, or you don’t. I’ve done enough in my life trying to get the approval of others, and for that I’ve lost something of myself to be a people pleaser. Sure, there are things I share with others, and some of it might be controversial, but there is something to remember in that: I’m not here to make everyone happy. I don’t give a God damn if you don’t always approve of what I say. I’m here to help those who feel that they would like it, because I’ve been lost, I’ve been ready to give up. I’ve seen people end their lives, and all I could think of was only if…. Only if I could have been there to tell them that it’s going to be okay. They are liked, even when they feel alone. I’ve thought about those people that I wish I could have reached out too. Just know that there is someone willing to listen. My success is attributed to many people behind the scenes. While it seems like I don’t always give them the props on social media, they know that they’re appreciated. Don’t worry, I got my side handled. Nobody’s going to bring down my success. I’m all aces.

 

4th Month Green Light.

So, today was a success at my four month check-up with the West Medical doctor. So, let’s get down to the status of were I’m at today. Keep in mind that I try to weigh in every two weeks besides the doctor’s visits, and since my last check up they say I’ve lost over nine pounds. The doctor was happy because I’m keeping consistent will my weight goals.

First, my weigh in was at 334 pounds exactly. That means I’ve lost 4.4 pounds since I weighed in during Wonder Con. That’s not bad since I seem to average between four and seven pounds every two weeks. I know that the weight is slowly starting to lose less and less, but if I keep up the work I’m doing, than I should be down at least a hundred pounds by my next weigh in, and so far, I’m probably the lowest weight that I’ve been in over ten years.

Another astonishing fact is the my BMI(Body Mass Index) is at 47.9. Before I started this whole thing, I was over a BMI of 61, and it’s noticeable by the clothing that I wear. Everything is just too big anymore, and I’ve had to get a size or two smaller. I’ve even dropped about ten pants sizes since December. I wouldn’t have dreamed that I would be able to drop more weight then my son is currently at.

This also brings me to the problem of me needing to buy a few uniforms at smaller sizes because, well, mine are just too big, and things are sliding off of my body. I’ve almost lost my pants several times, when walking or getting into a vehicle. I realize that I’ll have to bit the bullet on this one. Oh, well…

Today was a good day, as I made another purchase to help get my businesses pushed to the next level. It feels good to realize that I’ve taken my future serious. The things I want are set, and I’m doing everything I can to obtain them. It’s also great to have the direction that I need to get things accomplished.

The CK Project has already helped people start to make the change in their lives, and I hope that I’ll be able to use this experience to do motivational speaking engagements. It’s been a dream for years to get the message out on mental health and now physical health as well. I even plan on starting to work out with my son during the weekends. I think it might be good for him.

Well, I’m sure glad that the craziness from this weekend is over, and that I can finally relax, and enjoy being home for the next week. Next weekend is going to be handling things in town as we get ready to bring the production team together to discuss expansion(I know, I’ve mentioned it). I’ve got a great team with a chemistry that I look forward to infusing with more elements for a bigger reaction, and combination to get things done.

One more note, so The Geekultural Experience  is getting ready for it’s first broadcast tomorrow. We are going to be doing a show on Youtube that will be showing various comic shops and game stores that we’ve been too and recommend shopping at. I’ve already talked too a couple of owners in two different towns about this idea, and they are up for it. I can’t wait to introduce everyone to Otto, a game store owner in Bakersfield, and Roger, a comic book shop owner in Palmdale. These two are very good at their areas of expertise, and I’d be honored to help give them both more business if possible.

I wrote something on Facebook  last night, that I wanted to share. Think of it as a parting word for inspiration. Keep striving for growth. making the best version of yourself. That’s the best way to keep moving forward. I know that there are times that we feel a bit lost, shaken, self doubt…Remembering that we can always better ourselves, or strive to better ourselves gives us the chance to embrace the challenge to become something bigger than who we know ourselves to be. Some people thrive on competition, and who better than to compete with the one person who knows how to challenge us the most. The person who already knows all the tricks and dirty tactics that we would attempt to use to sabotage our success.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap!

2018….New You? New Me?

So today marks the first day of the year 2018. As I was on Facebook this past few days, I saw all these posts about how people couldn’t wait until 2017 was over and the kind of shit storm the year had been. Then I read about how people were going to better themselves with the New Year and the resolution that would come with it. People were going to quit smoking, treat others nicer, exercise more, etc…

This is all well and good, but most New Year resolutions don’t last, so I present a challenge to anyone who wants to make a life change. Why do it on the New Year? Why say that this is a new year and a new chapter? The truth is if you had a shitty year last year, then your mind is already set for another shitty year this year. Measures of time, it just keeps going, people get older, life goes on. Here’s the challenge: Start now! It doesn’t have to take a new year to start changing those habits. If you want a better year, learn how to get your mind in the right way of thinking, so that the negative doesn’t affect you the way it has for so long. You want to be healthy? Start by talking to a dietician to help you eat correctly, don’t leave the holiday’s as an excuse to gorge out on food.

Now, I can hear some of the muttered voices going, what about you Chris? What are you changing in the new year? What business of yours is it that we do a new year’s resolution or not? For that I have a response too: It really isn’t my business, but because I care for those in my life, I want to see success. As for the changes that I’m going to make in the new year, hate to say it, but I’ve been doing these changes for the last three years, and it didn’t take a new year to mark those changes. The fruits have really started to show up in the last few months. For me, it’s about the long game.

I got my degree in the mail last month from school, so looking for a better job is a priority on that list. I had the Vertical Sleeve Gastronomy done on the eleventh of December so my weight loss goals are well on the way. I’ve been networking and getting to know people so that I can get other projects of mine underway. The beautiful part is…..I didn’t have to wait until the ball dropped for me to decide to make life changes.

Sure there was a time that I settled for whatever was going to happen for me and it took my depression to get that swift kick in the ass for me to be motivated to do something to better my situation. I did it, and I haven’t looked back. Sure there are times that I wanted to quit, there were times that I just wanted to give up, and go back to the place that I knew I was going to be safe, but that is no longer the case. I want to have better things for my life, and playing it safe isn’t the way to go.

Sometimes you need to put yourself out there and take those risks to help you grow as a person. Shit happens and life is unfair, so to counter act that, you have to come up with the mindset that some of that shit isn’t so bad. I find myself staying positive, and not always because other people necessarily need it, but for myself. Yes, it helps to be positive for others, and that is a service I do provide, but it helps me keep it together, nine times out of ten.

Some of the negative things that happened within the last month, I decided were just mere bumps in the road. I had a health scare that put me in the emergency room after my surgery, was a bump. The loss of our pet of fifteen years, a mere bump. Life has been good to me over all and I can’t let the negative define how my life goes.

If you find this post negative, or that you feel that I’m on the attack….that was never my intention. I want to see you succeed, I want to see you have a great life. Follow your passions, be happy, that is what I want. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Too Much Passion? Keep It Up

So, people like to be entertained, and there are many forms to be entertained by. Watching movies, playing music, making costumes….even pretending to be living in medieval times, and being a knight. That’s why we have hobbies, that is why we do the things we do. We like to pass time, with our hobbies, that’s what gives us relief, that’s what brings us back to our centers. We live to pursue our passions, or at least we should.

So, what happens when it doesn’t become fun anymore? Do we try and find a way to rekindle that passion(hey, I was out of the superhero thing for many years, egad!), or do we force ourselves to continue when we are clearly burnt out on that passion? What becomes of that passion when someone clearly wants something, but isn’t willing to work for it? What happens when you find people of the like mind, and their burn out starts to make it less enjoyable to you?

Look, hobbies are just that hobbies. Some people feel an obligation to continue on a hobby because that’s all they know. Look, if you are burnout, just quit, nobody’s going to stop you, and if you’re unhappy or in denial about change, then stop. Don’t bring a cloud down on people who want to enjoy what is there for the hobby, just because you can’t except yourself leaving that hobby. Then you push people back, and politic the shit out of it so that other’s are as miserable as you are. There was a time that you had a passion for these hobbies and now it’s like you have a cross to bare, just stop. All it does is seem to make you an asshole because you can’t except change.

I digress, I got a bit off course for a minute there. I have a passion for life, and I have a passion that covers a vast amount of different things in my life. I’ll admit that I’m finding my limits in some of those areas, but at the same time, I can take a moment and reset my mind, because I am passionate about those things. Quite frankly, I don’t want to lose those passions because it makes me who I am. I’m passionate about comics and superheroes. This world is shitty enough as it is with trolls trying to take other’s down because I think it’s funny or that they want to change the status quo in a negative way. People would rather watch you fall and spit on you, than to help you up and push you to succeed.

I’m passionate about geeky things, and I don’t have to share the specific subject that someone else is passionate about, to get excited to watch the fire when someone talks about how awesome frisbee golf is. I love the passion that people share when they talk about professional wrestling. I was there too, once, and I kind of got out of it, because I found it getting too stale, but God damn, I like watching my boy pretend that he’s John Cena, and his reactions to watching Raw or Smackdown. I like when my girls get all excited about Monster High and the new dolls that come out.

Passion is the only thing that should motivate us in life. If you’re passionate about making money and shopping, than you should be fired to do what it is that helps you get there. I’ve been a slave working jobs to make some money just to survive and support my family. I know what it’s like not to like going to work because there’s no passion there. I’m fortunate enough that I like the people I deal with on a regular basis to keep me going. Yes, this has been a very motivated blog this time, not only to vent my own frustrations with the world, but because this is something that I need to remind myself of as well.

Please, if you ever feel that the passion is gone, and the hobby doesn’t really interest you anymore, just stop. Let the other people continue to enjoy it until they stop having that passion. There’s no need to drag other people down into your misery with you.

This is the director and I’m calling this blog a wrap.

The Door Was Stuck, But I Think The WD-40 Did The Trick

I know that I’ve written about being in self doubt in the past few weeks, but with that door being stuck, I think that I found the mental lubricant to power through and prevail. I’m at the point where this new challenge has given me a new rhythm to face this challenge.  For some reason, I’m not feeling the pressure, and I’m not sure if that’s a good sign or bad.

While I’ve surpassed that worry about my class, I’ve had other things on my mind that make me so hungry for the next big thing to go towards, and no it isn’t food. This weekend happens to be the San Diego Comic Con. One of my goals is to obtain press credentials so that I can get into conventions under press. I’ve always wanted to report on my geekiness, and it would be exciting to discover these things and inform everyone who follows me, or is some sort of associate with me.

Getting back on track though, this is day eight for me to be in the studio working at my desk. I’ve either been writing, doing homework, which also consists of writing, or I’ve been doing work in front of the camera. Did I mention that I love where my life has been heading for awhile now?

Now that I got the door of self doubt out of the way and my creative door is starting to open wider, I can’t wait to explore more of what is in my mind. I know that what ever writer’s block I had when I first wanted to write is gone, and I also know that my creative side has finally been able to break away from the tragedy that seems to plague my creative process(yes, tragedy is a great way to start my stories), I’m ready to write more witty things.

While I’m at it, my blogging style seems to be changing for the better. I’ve seemed to keep it kind of revered with how I used to write.  Truth is, I didn’t think that I had found my voice at that time. Now, I’m more confident that I can be more casual, and add more of my own personality in my writing. I was going to do a solid blog about finding my voice, but unfortunately for me, I saw a squirrel and I decided that I would chase it first. I think it had something shiny.

This is who I am. I tend to joke at times that isn’t always appropriate, I love the humor in shock and awe. I tend to have a foul mouth about things.  The whole of me though, is honest. I’m honest on who I am, and I’m honest with how I feel. I love my friends and as I’ve been blessed with making some great friends, I can honestly say that they have earned my loyalty. I know that they appreciate that, and I’ve always been glad that I could support them in that way.

This is all I can think of at the moment, but if you’re trying to be a creative individual, learn to find your own voice. That way, you can be honest with yourself and who you are. People will either accept it or not, but that’s life. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Finding Experience

About five years ago, I was invited to a local writers club meeting by my father’s co-worker.  It was a day during December and the club was having a guess speaker, Ted Lange(imdb.com). Ted’s most known for his character on The Love Boat(1977), as the friendly bartender Issac Washington, and I really paid attention to what he said.  He was funny and personable, but his message was that he became a writer to give himself work.  He said that it was hard for a black man to break into the business and that’s why he became a writer.

I took that to heart, and as I write this tonight, I keep thinking that everything that I’ve been doing for the last several months, and more so now since my last months classes, is that I’m creating that experience.  I’m starting to grasp the concept of marketing myself on social media,  I’m learning programs that I will need to have experience in to get jobs in the field that I want to get work in.  So, that’s my advice to anybody frustrated in searching for work, or getting experience.  It might take time, but find a way to do it yourself.  We live in  world that doesn’t want to give most people a hand, and that’s why reading books, researching, and doing are the keys to getting the success that you want.

I remember not that long ago, that was my thought process, “how am I going to get another job without the experience they’re looking for?”  It’s a scary thought, but as I’ve grown in knowledge and determination,  I’ve discovered that there are ways too find a way to learn those skills.  A good start is looking online for classes, or workshops for gaining that knowledge.  Another thing is too look at the local employment agency.  They should be able to point you in the right direction.

I’m adventuring into the world of owning my own business, and I’m blessed with the people who are involved with the process. They will keep me grounded, and we work well together.  The scary part is that I know that there will be failure along the way, but that’s the other way to gain experience.  As I’ve seen stated in books, magazines, and various other places, failure is a teacher, and if you keep failing, you learn how to not fail as bad.  It’s also a great way to teach you what works and doesn’t work.

The best thing to do is be cautious, but don’t be afraid to succeed, and don’t let failure stop you either.  We as people tend to be our own harshest critics, and in general, we also get in the way of our own success.  I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I messed up something because I got into my own head, and had self doubts.  That’s why we tend to sabotage ourselves.

The other thing I have to say about this is do what makes you happy.  As cliche as it is, there is a reason for that.  I listened to everybody else for so long and I was miserable for doing what I was “supposed” to do and it almost cost me my life.  Wouldn’t you rather feel happy about chasing your dreams then be stuck in the same spot in life?  Yes, I won’t lie, it would be much easier to just do what I love and not be concerned about anything else, but I have a family to provide for, but I was given the motivation to prepare for a different life when opportunity came and gave me the chance to go for something I had want to do for most of my adult life, and most of my life in some way that, evolved into wanting to make movies.  Remember that survival is the most necessary part, but going for the dream is important too.  While it might seem crazy, the skills that I’m learning in film school, are things that I can apply to the “safe” jobs as well.  So there is a back up plan in place, and it would still involve what I want to do in life.

I will leave a final note before this thought train leaves the station:  Be kind to each other, there are too many negative energies out there wanting to bring you down.  they want people to be down on their levels and can’t stand other people’s success.  Don’t add to that problem.  Try to be positive, and keep that mentality.  If you wake up and look in the mirror in the morning, tell yourself that you’ll have a good day.  Positive affirmations work far better than I ever thought, and it generally keeps me going in a positive direction.

 

Self Doubt and Contemplating

I felt in a funk today.  I’ve been there for a couple of days, and I wasn’t sure why.  I think it started with the fact that I as thinking about doing some major rewrites to Life Happens, I feel that I need to add some real substance to the lead character as he deals with the tragedy that has befallen his family.  Then I started my new class last night and I bombed my first quiz.  My biggest problem about last night was that I was tired and too much into my own head to let anything really sink in.  I know that I shouldn’t let this bother me the way it has, so I need to shake myself out of this funk, and I’m going to do that.  Unfortunately going through this mindset also sets up the ever dooming question,”am I good enough?”  I know that I shouldn’t feel that way, but sometimes it’s hard to think of the silver lining.

I do feel a bit better, thank you for thinking it, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to let these negative thoughts get in the way of partaking in a celebration of my wife’s birthday.  She has tolerated me far longer than I think I would’ve ever tolerated myself.  I’ve known her for nineteen years, and that’s over half of our lives, and most of that has been together.  She’s been my strength when I’ve been down, and she’s seen me at my lowest too.

Now back to the first subject at hand, I hate being stuck in my own mind because I realized that thoughts like that tend to sabotage my own success.  That’s where being my own worse critic comes in at as well.  When you get told that you’re not good enough, it tends to stick with you throughout your life.  That’s not saying that I feel that way anymore, but that self doubt crawls in every once in awhile.  I’m glad that I have the people in my life that I do because they’ve been the biggest support in my life.  I’ve got an amazing set of friends, and my chosen family are the glue to my backbone.

I don’t plan on letting any minor set back phase me, because life has been going so well for me.  I’ve got the production studio being prepared to start producing content, and I’m looking forward to getting the creative process flowing again.  I’ve got so many ideas that I can’t wait to share with everyone, and I’ve gotten a few characters in development that I think will get some laughs once the sketches start being written.  I just hope that with Luckey Bom Films  and the CK Project are successful, and I hope that I don’t overwhelm myself by doing a billion things at once.  I can’t forget to mention the things I’ve been developing for the Geeks of the IWV.  This group has been going fairly decent for a local group that is almost a year old, and I’m glad that I can be part of this group with wonderful and passionate geeks like myself.  It really has brought my relationship with people to a better place.

So, I have a pod cast in the works, actually about three of them, and so I’m wondering what people think about the content I’d like to get out.  We have a geek pod cast, would anyone like to hear reviews on the latest Comics, movies, and maybe video games? How about video’s demonstrating some of the boardgames that we play?  For my other pod casts, what type of content would you like to see?  Relationships? Local News?  Up coming plans on where the projects and companies are going?

Final words-  Let me know what you think?  I’m trying to get more marketable and I’d love any input that you might have?  Take care and good night.