A Shout Out to all the Mothers

I’m friends with a diverse group of people. One of the commonalties amongst my friends are that I have mothers in my life. I’ve seen some of them become first time mothers. I’ve seen some deal with the loss of children, yet they all share the common bond of creating life from within.

Being a parent can be emotionally and mentally draining. Some mother’s have the hardest time during their pregnancies which leaves a physical toll. While I usually don’t blog about this, I have to speak my mind because I don’t think mother’s always feel the appreciation for a job that often times goes thankless. So, without further ado, I dedicate this to my mom, my wife, and all the other ladies who have allowed me into their lives, and get to be called mom.

I’ve seen you post on your social media that you feel like you look like crap, you get no sleep, and you need a break. I see that you feel unattractive because you’ve got stretch marks, and you no longer fit into that size six you were in as a young adult.

I feel your frustration when the kids are screaming and fighting. They throw a tantrum when they don’t get their way, or are rude because of the food you make them. I hear you when you say that you don’t feel like you get any help.

I’m fortunate because I’m a father, and my kids have both parents in the house. I know that it’s not always the case for you, estranged, or single. I don’t say this to brag, or rub it in. I say it because I’ve seen the frustration in the eyes of the person that my children call mother. I’m dad, and I’m the fun one, and I’m the one that the kids seem to respect, and hate to get yelled at by. Again, I’m not bragging, I’m just stating that it seems like I have it easier than you do, and I have an appreciation for the hard work you do.

There have been a few times where I had to pick up the slack because Sarah was sick, and I find that it can be difficult to manage  the house as gracefully as she does. I know that when I was a larger person it would limit the way I maneuver around the house. I’m in awe by the magic of you, a mother being selfless in a place where those little lives depend on you. They don’t recognize it, not yet, but the moment you’re not there, they will.

Being a mother is under appreciated. Your children act out in public, and then you’re being judged about not being a good mother. We have an autistic child who has melt downs, and the judgmental looks on the faces of people who have no idea is there. So, I see and understand the feeling.

Being a mother means that you hold so many different job titles, and non of them pay what they are worth. The payment you get is this: You get to see your children grow up and use what you’ve taught them to become better human beings. You get to see them become adults, and hopefully have their own families. This is the chance for you to become a grandmother and reap the benefits of all that hard work you had done to help these small humans survive.

You don’t feel attractive because of the stretch marks, and you’ve gained the weight that seems forever to get off. I’ve seen those insecurities, and I’ve got to say this to you now-you’re beautiful. Those marks, and that weight shows that you did the most amazing thing that I couldn’t ever begin to imagine. You gave birth, you helped carry life for nine months. You are a Goddess, and no-one can ever take that away from you.

You put your life a risk for a small thing that took everything it needed to survive from your body for those nine months. Sometimes, it might have left a bigger toll on your body than it should have. Hell, I experienced that when my own children were born. Most of that time, my own wife was away from me in a hospital. Most of that time, the stress got too high for me to handle as well, but I was there everyday to support the person that would give me the greatest accomplishments in my life. My appreciation goes much farther as she had gone through great personal risk to have our two children come into this world. For this, my wife will never know how grateful I am for them.

This dedication isn’t just for my own family though, this is for those mothers who have some sort of connection in my life though.

I see the struggles of a young mother raising a child on her own. I know it’s hard because you can’t seem to have any adult time to unwind, and be yourself for a change. However, I do promise you that all that hard work you’re putting in isn’t getting unnoticed. Mark my words that no matter how things happen, one day your child will understand and appreciate the sacrifice that you made. I see it, and I know as frustrating as it is, I see the growth that’s coming from it.

Mother, I see that your teen children go off and treat you like you don’t matter to them. They roll their eyes every time you ask them to do something. They say those words that hurt, “I hate you,” and it gets harder as things like, “you’re ruining my life,” are said. I find that the most ironic part, as the children will never know the meaning of that. As a mother, you have to be selfless. As a mother, the life you had lived before conceiving had been ruined.

That’s not to say that’s such a bad thing, but until that realization comes to them, they’ll never know the truth. They’ll never grasp the appreciation they should. They don’t know that there are nights you’d stay up thinking of them because of their sickness. Hoping that everything would be okay.

So, while you don’t feel that you get the love or appreciation of being a mother, and you might not like the way you look in the mirror. Know that your job is appreciated and it does get recognized. From this father, friend, and son- thank you for all the mothers who’ve selflessly given of yourself. Know that what you might think has made you look less than attractive, is just the thing that should be appreciated so much more about you.

I can only fathom part of the journey as a parent, but the connection of a mother runs that more deeply. To quote Eric Draven from The Crow, “Mother is the name of God, on the lips of children.” I honestly think that’s one of the best lines I’ve ever heard. I also think that it rings true.

Thank you for letting me take this whole blog and dedicate it to you, the women in my life. Sarah, thank you for giving me the two biggest, best gifts that at many times frustrate me. Thank you to my mother, and to my step-mother, as they both have loved me, and help make me into the man I am today.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

 

 

The Next Step-Ready to Go with Weight Loss

Last week I went in for a series of tests.  They did an EKG, checked out my arms and legs for blood clots, did an ultrasound of my stomach and heart. Wednesday night I had a sleep study, and Thursday morning, I had a Endoscopy.  It was an experience that I won’t forget.  When they took a scan of my sinuses, I felt like Bill Bixby in The Incredible Hulk(1978) television series.

So now that I’m well on my way to actually doing this, I feel that I have to get my butt in gear and actually start getting a bit of exercise.  I’m currently focusing only dual class schedule at the moment, but I’ve got a good momentum going that I think I will take a hike this weekend.

So many changes are getting ready to happen, and while I’m excited, I’m also terrified with the fact that these changes are big.  I found out from my sleep test that I might have sleep apnea, but I need to set up another test so that I can go down and sleep with a mask on( yay me).  I will update you more later.

Twas The Night Before Cutting

It’s practically a half day away from that big moment of my life, and now the nerves hit. I’m ready for this to be over, and seriously I’ve had the great support. It seems like I’ve only had the last thirteen days to fully adjust. 

I’m not complaining mind you,  I just have to center myself tonight and get the last bit of myself out of my head.  I’ve always been my biggest obstacle in everything I’ve ever done, and this is no different. 

Truth is… I’m not afraid to die, I accepted that a long ago, but I’m not sure if I’m afraid to live either. I think the nerves come from the unknown(what the hell am I going to do without the insulation?). Things will go fine, I’m sure, and I’m having a conversation with my God.

The people who’ve supported me has been amazing. I’ve made friends and family proud, I’m fortunate to go through this process with so much love supporting me. 

I’m not signing of as the director tonight. This is just Chris preparing for the next journey of my life. 

I’m Not Dead, I Promise

I apologize for not blogging in a while, truth is, I’ve been busier with life then I thought I would be. So, let me go through the updates as follows: Society of Creative Anachronisms, we did a two night camp trip to our kingdoms war, Great Western War. It was fun, we hung out with friends, I tried more scotch then I ever thought I would, some of them tasted kind of like licking a campfire, but it was an interesting time.

The biggest ones to actually catch up on, the movie, and yes, Nash Gray is finally in the  finally stages of being edited into the movie we started to make. It was a great time, emotional and physically taxing at times, but to see the thoughts become reality is amazing, and that is part of why I went the direction in life that I did. We had to get creative, but overall, not bad for our first time.

I’ve also started writing more scripts, I’ve taken a pause for the last couple of weeks because this project’s taken my time, but I’m a month and a half away from being done with school. I don’t have more to say at this time, just wanted to give a quick update on the silence, be back soon, so that’s a wrap for now.

Appreciation

So, I wasn’t able to get out the announcement that I wanted too today…but hopefully tomorrow will work out better.  I do however want to thank my creative partner and friend Ed Smith for inviting us out to his son’s graduation party.  I was blessed to meet some new people and I felt at home with this group of people.

One of the things that Ed and I share is a love of music, and the fact that our brains tend to work well together.  The other part of Ed’s life is his wife Dawn.  I met her first and we would talk as she passed by me at work.  She’s a sweetheart, and since I’ve been lucky to have gotten to know them both,  I adore them as a couple.  Tonight turned into a great night to just chill and jam out.

I’m going short on this tonight, but I do want to say this specifically to my friend:  Ed, I love you brother, and thanks for agreeing on taking this crazy adventure with me.  Dawn, thank you for letting me take Ed on this adventure with me.  You have great boys, and I see that you’ve been great parents.  Again thank you, thank you! I appreciate you both for letting my family into your lives.

By the way:  I finally have a sign off.  I sometimes go by the director when involved with my filming, and while it is cliche,  here it goes.  This is the Director, and that’s a wrap!

Comic Review: Batman: The Killing Joke — CINESPIRIA

Batman: The Killing Joke (written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Brian Bolland) is highly regarded as one of the best Batman stories ever written. It is hugely popular and fanboys the world over embrace it like it is some sort of geek bible. It tells the origin story of the Joker and gives us […]

via Comic Review: Batman: The Killing Joke — CINESPIRIA

Wonder Woman(2017)

As my wife puts this movie, ” It was everything I wanted.”  With that being said, Wonder Woman is a damn good movie.  It was surly the best thing DC and Warner Bros has done together in the last ten or so years.  The only thing that bothered me a little was the cliche slow motion fight scenes,  I felt that it was a tad bit over done.  The movie did also feel a bit familiar, like Captain America: The Fist Avenger(2011).  Which isn’t a bad thing, since that movie was great in its own right.

Gal Gadot is great, not to mention that she’s very attractive as well.  Chris Pine plays Steve Trevor and these two fine actors have chemistry.  I feel that is something that helps get the view invested emotionally with what happens with their individual character arcs. Lucy Davis plays Etta, Steve’s secretary, and she is a joy in every scene she’s in.  She almost stole the show.

The setting is WWI, and I think that was a great way to go, since WWII always seems just a bit played out.  The scenes are great, the costumes are stunning, and the Lasso of Truth glows.  Part of the fun is seeing all the Easter Eggs that are in there.  They tie the DCEU all together in a nice pretty package.  I’m trying not to spoil anything here, because this movie is truly a pleasure to experience, just say that DC seems to have Marvel’s problem with under developed villains.

Now that I’ve given a spoiler free review….I hope, I have something that I feel needs to be addressed about the importance of this movie.  For all things about equality, this is a female superhero movie, directed by a female director.  See studios? Women can do it too.  Had this been a disaster, everyone would be bad mouthing DC even more, and probably blame Zack Snyder for ruining the DC brand.  Wonder Woman did exceedingly well, and I think that all the companies either doing, or considering doing movies benefits from this.  I’ve seen and heard people complain about the lack of female heroes in the movies.  Well, Jessica Jones(2016) did very well on Netflix, and Wonder Woman being a success means that the movie watchers are ready for the female superhero movies.  I think that studios should pay attention to this.  We could have a successful Black Widow movie, or a Spider-Gwen.  We could even do with a Black Canary movie.  I think the possibilities are exciting.

The only disappointment I have about what I heard was that males complained about an all-women showing of Wonder Woman.  I mean really?  It seems that most things tend to be geared towards the male population as it is, and somebody doesn’t have enough chill to be cool with something not geared towards the male ego?  I think it was a great publicity stunt, and there is a female section that has grown up with Wonder Woman as the only role model that they’ve had.

Parting words:  If you’ve seen it, I hoped you like it. If you haven’t I recommend seeing it, because it is good.  Have a good night, and until next time.

Thank You

As I get closer to graduating from Los Angeles Film School,  I want to take the time to thank everyone for their support.  I’ve also had a chance to hear from people saying that I’ve been an inspiration, and I also appreciate that as well.  I’ve always wanted to make a positive impact on those around me.  The journey that I’m on is full of uncertainty, but I’m looking forward to the challenge that it presents me.

Now that I’ve said thank you, let me also ask a favor from everyone.  If you watch my stuff, or read my stuff(I know some do both), then my favor is this, I’m trying to get exposure, and I want to have a more active interaction on the things I do. You like a video, comment on what you liked about it, hell tell me what you think could be improved, but if you do think it’s good, feel free to share, and tell people about my work. I want to make everyone feel as welcome as I’ve felt supported and loved.  There will be plenty of things coming out in various forms of media.  Watch and see the creative outlet explode.

The Next Step-Ready to Go with Weight Loss

Last week I went in for a series of tests.  They did an EKG, checked out my arms and legs for blood clots, did an ultrasound of my stomach and heart. Wednesday night I had a sleep study, and Thursday morning, I had a Endoscopy.  It was an experience that I won’t forget.  When they took a scan of my sinuses, I felt like Bill Bixby in The Incredible Hulk(1978) television series.

So now that I’m well on my way to actually doing this, I feel that I have to get my butt in gear and actually start getting a bit of exercise.  I’m currently focusing only dual class schedule at the moment, but I’ve got a good momentum going that I think I will take a hike this weekend.

So many changes are getting ready to happen, and while I’m excited, I’m also terrified with the fact that these changes are big.  I found out from my sleep test that I might have sleep apnea, but I need to set up another test so that I can go down and sleep with a mask on( yay me).  I will update you more later.

Projects=Experience

I’ve been looking at different jobs in the entertainment industry, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the things I’m working towards doing are going to help me gain the experience that I need to help me continue towards my future profession. Entertaining people has been a passion of mine since I was younger.  It started with me cracking jokes to help cheer my friends up.

I’ve been looking forward to getting a few of the podcasts projects off the ground.  I’ve been fascinated with the idea of doing a radio since I started listening to Mark and Brian, and I would love to bring out my thoughts on various subjects ranging from geek culture to politics. I even have ideas for a NSFW podcast that would allow me to discuss more adult content, and bring out my full force, uncensored, sense of humor.

As I move forward towards the end of school, I know that I’m going to be working on gaining a whole new level of experience.  Yes, I am starting my own production company, and yes, I would love to work with others.  As a person, I’ve learned that networking is key. I’ve been doing that for the last couple of years, and I think that it’s helped give me a chance to have better relationships with the people that I’ve gone on to network with.

Going through some life changing events of the last several years, I’ve grown quite a bit. I think that I’ve gotten my ego out of the way of my personal growth.  I used to think that I was going to do whatever it was to make it on my own, and I would let things get in my way of trying to succeed.  I’m now being a more positive person, not for anyone specifically, but myself.  Those who might benefit from the energy that I try to emit, I’m always glad that it helps.  Life it too short to dwell over the negative things, and we all need to enjoy life.

I just felt like I had to put something down tonight.