There’s been a lot of things going on with my personal life, that’s kept me distracted and unmotivated from blogging regularly. I got a memory that popped up on Facebook the other day that reminded me that it was my last day, of my last class for school. Shit, that’s crazy to think that I’ve been out of school for a whole year now. It’s like everything I was working for was but a memory, yet I’ve been more satisfied with myself. I did it, and I did it to the best of my ability.
I’m so glad that I was able to go to school for something that I’ve wanted to do for my whole life, and I will continue to pursue it until the end of time. With that, comes plenty of downsides though. The biggest downside to it is self-doubt. It’s something that I think everyone goes through at some point, and right now this is part of my struggle. There are more positives though.
When I get creative, I’m happy, and building a whole world is amazing. Making thoughts tangible is incredible, it’s truly something awe inspiring. The feeling of taking thoughts, and converting them into words, just to see them be acted out by people is exciting. This was something that I truly discovered over a year ago. I’ve learned so much since then about what I feel comfortable doing, in the different positions, and where my creativity has taken me.
Currently, my biggest roadblock is adding special effects in post, while I’m on the right track for getting it done, it’s been a struggle, and I need to buckle down to get it worked out. This is something I would love to add somebody who’s proficient with After Effects to come in and help me get through this. It would be more efficient and I could get it done right.
Now, something I learned about myself creatively is that my origins for starting stories had to come from a place of tragedy, there’s something about coming back from a dark place that appeals to me as a creator. That’s how my first few stories started, that was what got me out of a writer’s block when I first started. Now, I’m in a place where I can find other things that spark my creativity. Watching movies shows me things that I think I want to try something like that. By the way, film school ruined so many movies for me. I watch them and find inconsistencies as a story teller.
Another problem I think I’m discovering is that my thoughts are everywhere, and I can’t seem to keep focus on just one project, instead, I’ve got several projects started and I’ve been working on, now I just need to organize them and focus, at least I’m getting that focus back as I get back to wanting to get things taken care of.
So, my plan is to concentrate on finishing The Reunion and to get Unexpected Side Trip funded so that we can film it and send it off to festivals. This is our start to actually get noticed as a film company. I’ve been trying to network with other film companies, and filmmakers so that we can have a contributing community. I want to learn from others and create something special. Everything that gets creative even if we find it bad or in poor taste, it just isn’t always for us.
This past year has been amazing, not only creatively, but as a person over all. I do feel that I’ve been slacking a bit, but sometimes life deals us curve balls that we just need to learn to deal with. I’m blessed to have the family I have, even in our rough patches, they are the ones I do so much for. There are things that going on that I’m learning to deal with and I look at them as challenges to over come. In the end, I think that my plans are starting to head in the right position and I plan on getting more things going.
Thanks for staying with me through everything. I’m the director, and that’s a wrap.