The One-Sixty Point

So, I stepped on the scale the other day to do my weigh-in update, and I was fully clothed and I couldn’t process the number of 271.2 pounds. For a minute I couldn’t think about if I had lost or gained weight. I replaced the batteries because they were low, and took off my shoes to check in again and saw 269.9. I even checked it three more times. Yep, I lost more weight, six pounds as a matter of fact. It was strange that I couldn’t fathom the thought that I had lost that much in such a short amount of time.

Even more craziness is the fact that I haven’t been this weight since we first moved to California in 1997. It’s like I finally shedded off all the stress weight that had haunted me from the last nineteen years. Could this be part of the next part of a new phase for my life? My depression has been under better control than ever before, and life is taking off in unexpected directions.

I’m in a pants size that I hadn’t been in since high school, and that’s even more incredible. I find that funny that as I’ve lost weight, the places that I’ve lost inches and changed shape in areas that I wasn’t quite expecting. I guess that’s why twenty-two years ago, things hung on me different than they do now. Different movements, exercises, it’s crazy. Though I think it’s far different now, because experience has given me a different look at being disciplined  in life, and how my values have changed.

Today things are different because I’ve found the path in life that I wanted to take. I mean I knew at a young age that I wanted to eventually be a father. Yes, it’s not been easy, especially since my eldest child is way too much like me, and we’ve often times butted heads because of it. I never regretted having children, and they are everything to me. I love them, even the one who isn’t my blood, she’s a great kid, even if we struggle with some of her experiences in her early childhood. I’m not sure the want of kids because I was raised an only child, I do wonder if that could be why?

I think the decisions to becoming a filmmaker, and in turn a blogger, and then a podcaster was the focus I needed in order to embrace that which made me, who I was, both good and bad. I’ve added the layers to help become the person I am.

Becoming a director and to tell stories was given because it was a skill that I ended up developing when I was younger and telling stories. It’s the outlet I always needed, as I’ve been involved in various forms of entertainment since I was in grade school. Writing was something that I discovered that I enjoy as well.

Dealing with depression and viewing others experiences, and losses had lead me to blog about my struggles, as a means to help express myself, and always had the hope that others would find some sort of enlightenment from it. I’ll admit that wasn’t the only motivation to blog. The other reason was that I wanted to become a better writer, and apply that to my scripts. So far, I think that it’s come along quite aways. Again, I have no regrets in that decision.

I had the idea of becoming a podcaster for a while. It was always one of those ideas that I had in the back of my mind and we had toyed with it a couple of times before we found a solution that would work for us to present our material. As we go along, we’ll get better and develop better techniques. Again, hosting has been an idea that I wanted to do.

160 pounds down, and it feels that life is just really starting to take off. It motivates me to get more done. Life is getting better, and I’m always glad that people have taken to joining me on this journey. It really gives me a sense of validation, and I have a few who have been more than vocal about the changes they see. The praises are more than humbling, and it drives me to do even better.

I had no real direction, and I had to find a point to start to put my life back together. If you ever feel that way, the first thing I would suggest is take a long hard look at yourself, and ask the question, “why do I feel this way?” It’s not always an easy answer, and sometimes it ends up being a bitter pill to swallow when the answer smacks you in the face, but don’t deny it. It’s easy to be in denial about oneself, I’ve been there a few times, at least. If you can get over the ego, and the pride, you will grow. I think that self improvement is the only way to better themselves. The key to find myself was to invest in myself, and it’s gotten so much better.

With that, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Fifteen Month Check-Up

I had my check up on March second. I was greeted by Dr. Morgan, who has been the man that I’d been seeing mostly for the last year. I was glad to see that I had another loss and that I’m now currently sitting at 276 pounds on the dot. It’s amazing to see where I was last year compared to now, or even compared to where I was two years ago.

It feel good to go to work and someone that I hadn’t seen for a while comment that I looked malnourished, I found it to be funny that people think that I’ve lost so much weight that it was hard to recognize me.  Man, I really feel that I’ve come a long ways, and even better I’ve got to a twenty-two year low, with the fact that my pants are smaller than I was when I first moved to California.

I will admit that I think that I started to fall into a bad habit again with sneaking a few snacks here and there, but I’m going to correct that. I think that the fact that I can admit that and am aware is a step farther than I was before this whole thing started.

Before I continue on with the story, The CK Project has started a podcast: https://anchor.fm/CkProject/episodes/Introduction-to-the-weight-loss-process-e2qsnt/a-abgq9b 

https://anchor.fm/CkProject/episodes/Depression-1-e2qso8/a-abgq9b

These are our first two episodes, we’d really like to get them out to everyone, and get an opinion on what we’re doing.

As I look back, it’s been almost a year since I started to train with Sam over at Flawless Victory MMA, and I’ve enjoyed it. It’s not easy, but anything worth doing is never easy, but there have been so many benefits that have come from this whole process, and I’m getting that much closer to my goals. I remember when I had over 100 pounds to go, and being stuck in the sizes that I had been wearing since I was the biggest size I was.

On top of all that, I’ve decided that it was time to purge my closet of those things that are too big for me. I think this is a big step because it’s another step away from the past self that I’ve held on to for so long. I know that mentally I still have a ways to go, but I’m getting there, and I’m mentally more sound than I have been for some time.

I finally got past my creative funk, and all it took was for me to finally release The Reunion(2019), and I’ve gotten so much positive responses for it. If you want to see it, just hit me up and I’ll send you a link. I don’t try to cross the brands too much, but it’s always good when they come together for something that each can benefit from.

The crazy thing is, with working on three brands, I find that each one takes the main focus at different times. The CK Project is where most of the every day focus goes, and I’m making amazing connections through those who would be on the weight loss journey as well. I find that Luckey Bom Films is where most of my true passion is, because it’s the part that really saved my life when I was lost. With the Geekultural Experience,  it showed me something else I had a passion for, all things related to pop culture, and this last one is dedicated to my friends, and the son they lost because of the connections that has been brought into my life.

They come together and add to the layers in my life as it is. I’m happy that I can use my experiences in life to help others, there’s a joy there. I like that I can tell a story and have people connect somewhere emotionally to it. I also love the fellowship that comes out of celebrating what people are passionate about.

What is it that you’re passionate about? What makes your day get going? How do you feel when others tell you that it’s okay to follow your dreams? Sure people might think that it’s bullshit, and that they should play it safe, but like I said before, anything worth doing is never easy. If you can find a way to make a life out of what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. Not all of us are gifted with the silver spoon, but the journey to get there is fun, and I’m excited to see what it’ll be like to finally make it.

This is a much lighter director, and while doing what I love, this blog is another wrap.

 

 

 

Push Forth Good Sir

Sunday, the day of rest. Well that’s the way it’s supposed to go, but this weekend it was the day that I pushed myself harder. My trainer Sam asked me if I’ve ever thrown up from working out. The answer was no, however today I pushed myself into a nauseous state. After I was done working out, I had to take a few minutes to myself in the car to gain some type of composure.

So goes my Sunday, I call it the iron church. I find myself going to the gym on Sunday’s more than any other day of the weekend. Our bodies are our temple. I feel that building a better me, means that I have to build a better temple, and what better way to sacrifice by blood, sweat, and hard work. I’ve been working out for almost a year. I’ve been doing the 10,000 steps for over a year now. I’ve gotten better about getting those in. I do have a days that I don’t feel like getting them in, and some days life gets in the way, however most days are filled with 10k plus. My current record stands at twelve days straight of getting in my steps. Since my fortieth birthday, I’ve been attempting to get in forty-days straight for my steps. This is a challenge I know I’ll eventually accomplish.

So I go to the gym today and do some treadmill. It wasn’t really about speed or distance, but I found out that I can do a seven-point-one, and I can keep it up for an amount of time. The biggest problem that I’ve been finding doing treadmill work is that I move, and no matter how tight I’ve tied my sweat pants, they seem to start to fall down.  After that I worked on arms, shoulders, and back a bit. I used heavier weight then I’m used to, and I push through the pain a bit. So, I’ll say that it was for the win today.

I was also rewarded with a non-scale victory today. After I came home and took a shower, I noticed the pants I was wearing were a bit big on me. The size of my pants were a 42×30, and that was the size I was in in 1997. So, without me checking my weight, it’s nice to feel that inches are still coming off. I’ll have to get that weight check in next weekend.

Besides pushing myself harder in my workouts. My circuit workouts, do also push me, by the way. I think people should do that in other parts of their lives. Wither it’s work, or  new experiences, it’s the perfect way to grow as a person. The sad part is that there are  too many people comfortable in what they are already doing.  I feel that people should strive to better themselves. You can always improve on something in your life. Health, wealth, learning. There’s always room for improvement. I’ve had many friends confess that they were scared of change. I’ll admit, that there’s a bit of hypocrisy as I write this. I want to change my station in life, but I haven’t just thrown “caution to the wind”. Though I am trying to get to the point were I will be doing what I want to do, instead of keeping it as a side thing at the moment.

If you’re feeling stuck in life, or bored of the way things seem to be going. I suggest pushing yourself into doing something new. Get out of the comfort zone. You’ll never know what you’re capable of until you do it. Sure, not all of it will be enjoyable, but there are going to be some amazing things that you’ll discover.  I feel that everything in life is about self discovery. That’s how I’m living my life these days. Every day brings something new for me to try.

I hope that you continue to follow my journey in life, as one of those things I’m planning on trying next is writing a motivational speech and see if I can get people to actually come and listen to what I have to say. I think blogging has been a great avenue that’s helped me become a better writer, and helped me sort of some of the issues that I deal with. Remember to catch me on my various other social medias as well. If you want to know, just send me a message and I’ll get back to you on it.  As always, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

 

Living With A Higher Code

There are times when a celebrity makes an impact on thousands, even millions of people world wide. Elvis, Lennon, Cobain; these are some of the artists who contributed to the meaning to so many lives in this world. With out these artists, the world seemed to grow a bit darker.

This week my childhood died. Rest in peace to the man who had the most impact on my life, Stan Lee. I can’t remember a time that his creations weren’t apart of my life.

When I was small, I would watch Spider-man and His Amazing Friends, or one of the other cartoons based off of his co-creations. I remember reading an article about how today’s super heroes are our modern day mythology, I wish I remember where I read it. It was good. It compared our heroes to the God’s of old, and the entertainment of their stories.

As the father and co-creator of so much that is popular in today’s society, Stan’s stories leave a legacy that defines a generation. For me it starts with what some would call his greatest creation: Spider-man. This character reached so many people because he was the different hero. The alias of Spider-man, Peter Parker was an average kid with everyday problems. He wasn’t considered the good looking, popular person that was the arch-type celebrated at the time. He wasn’t a jock and was considered a geek, when geek wasn’t a celebrated choice. He was described in Amazing Fantasy number fifteen, as a “wall flower”. He was bullied, and didn’t get the girl of his dreams.

That’s probably why he ended up being so popular because he spoke to the realities of most people. When his Uncle Ben was murdered, the quote, “With great power comes great responsibility,” has been something that has spoken to my heart and has stayed with me. Spider-man was who I could relate too, much like Black Panther was a character that the African-American community could relate too. Stan’s stories were made for us.

Note that I did start this blog on Monday as I read of Stan Lee’s death.

I felt a loss that was like I lost a grand parent, I lost a teacher. This was like I lost a mentor, who taught me everything I ever needed to know in life. Grandpa Stan, telling me the stories to entertain and educate. I was fortunate to meet him in 2011 at the San Diego Comic Con, it was a moment that meant so much, because I looked up to his works my whole life. I thanked him for doing the work that impacted my life. I doubt that my personal story with his work, is unique. I mean he had a huge stage, and millions of fans. Some famous people are among the fandom, and I’m glad that I get to see people share the stories of how Stan impacted their lives.

I should say that my love of comic books helped me get into the highest reading level classes in school. My imagination is very open to the strange possibilities of what the impossible can do, and I don’t think many things would surprise me if that happened. (Alien invasion, anyone?) This is what carried on with my high work ethic, and part of the reason I like to help people.

My helping and motivating comes from the lessons learned in the stories that I would read, and I still continue to read to this day. Selfishly, that’s the way I feel when I help someone. It gives me a real glimmer into that world that I so love. I was able to save a friend from taking their life, and it was the greatest feeling, I had that impact, much like the hero’s on the page.

Stan got me to actually like reading and being a fan of comics got me into seeing all the comic movies that would come out. That in turn lead me to seeing the movie that would change the direction of my future. Sin City(2005) was that movie that changed my life. Watching how that movie looked just like a comic, caused me to want to become a director, and that’s one of the great things I get to do these days.

Stan has had an impact on my family as we bound over the love of comics and superheroes. I see that my son loves the Hulk,  and I’ve been able to sit down and read the comics to him. My oldest loves Spider-man, which I was surprised about, but I’m glad that our love for Spidey is something we’ll share over the rest of our lives.

If there could be something I would say to Stan Lee, I would say this: Thank you. Thank you for being the voice of reason, the voice of inspiration, and imagination. Thank you for giving people who felt like losers a safe place to escape too. This world is a harsh place, and your legacy will continue to inspire generations. As a fan of mythology, thank you for giving us a newer, updated mythology to follow. I hope one day to be as inspirational as you, and I thank you for making my life just a bit more enjoyable.

No Pain, No Gain

So, I have a five day weekend that started yesterday, and because it was the fourth of July, I didn’t get my personal training session in. That’s okay, because I made it up today, and suffered for it. Sometimes, I ask myself why I do the things I do, then I remember, because I don’t want to be unhealthy anymore.

Today, Sam started to help me find my inner strength to help push through all the pain, and suffering to get the best workout that I can. I’ve never been one to grunt or yell in the gym…and I’ll leave it at that. However, I’m being shown that it helps bring my inner strength out, and helps me keep going for a few more reps, at least.

Again, I’m reminded that I still have that man trapped in a bigger body mentality. It’s not always easy to over come, especially since I’ve not be able to do things for years do to my mobility. I know that I should be able to do more things, but what my mind and body think is sometimes two totally different things. I find myself trying to convince my body that I can do these things, even when it wants me to hesitate.

Since I’m on a five-day weekend, I decided to put myself through a six-day challenge with my ten-k-step challenge. I’m currently on day three, and I’m not quite half-way there yet. I figured that I would get a bit of rest before going back out to finish it off because I did squats today. I’m usually good with doing the three-sets of twenty, however, we also did more sets  and different variations on the squat.

I got my my steps in yesterday, but I ended up with another oddly shaped sunburn again. The barbell was a bit uncomfortable on the sunburn, yet I pushed through and did alright. I surprised myself with as well as I did. Plus, we got in some deeper sets on top of the normal squats we did.

The more I train, the more I think that I really do want to learn and also become a personal trainer as well. Like I said before, it would add a bit of Creedence to my CK Project, and I really do like helping other people. Whether by motivation, inspiration, or however, it gives me a different purpose in my life. I don’t think I would have ever wanted to do this about ten or so years ago.

I know that when I started the Project about seven years ago, it was more about accountability, than anything else. I was glad that people where being inspired, and it made me feel good to know that I could have such a positive impact, now it’s one of the driving forces behind what I do.

This is the legacy that I want to leave: The fact that I was able to help someone change for the better. There’s been too much in my life that’s been caused by negativity, and I don’t want to be someone who has turned into something that just adds to the negativity. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this all too much on social media. Facebook, Twitter; there’s a bunch of negative posts about religion and politics that happens.

I find that I’ve seen the worst in people on my pages. I choose not to comment because I pick and choose my battles, even though I’m also going to admit now, that I have a tendency to be interested in the unknown variables, just because I’m interested in the way “the system” will respond to it. It can be frustrating that I find myself on the losing end of the vote, as often times what I wanted, doesn’t seem to win.

Anyway, as I’ve observed the political debates, or religious debates go from a mature amicable conversation, to name calling and a two paragraph message on someone’s reason that someone else is “stupid”. I mean come on, we all have our opinions, but why does it have to resort to name calling, just because someone doesn’t agree. Why not just agree to disagree, so that the name calling doesn’t devolve into a match of a typed out boxing match. I feel that it doesn’t put a favorable light on the complete argument. Yes, I’ve fallen into this trap a couple of times, but I’m trying to become a better person, and not reflect that type of negativity.

All I’m saying is, try and be good humans to each other, and with that being said, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap. I do have my seven month check-up on Saturday, and we’re going to be spending the day on adventures.

Outside’s Gonna Melt Your Face, But I’m Feeling Fine.

The summer heat is cooking, and with this weather last year everyday felt like the scene from Raiders of the Lost Art,  in where the Nazi’s open the Ark of the Covenant, and their faces melt off. However, I’ve come prepared more for the heat this year then I have been in the past several years. Where being on the job in years past, my back would be a sweaty water fall, it’s now just a trickle. I do still think that the heat sucks, but at least I don’t feel like I’m about to die everyday.

I did my two week weigh–in on Friday, and discovered myself down another three-point-one pounds. I’ve discovered that that’s about what I’ve been averaging for the last few months, is about three to four pounds every two weeks. That’s not bad considering that one to two pounds a week is what would be classified normal. Looking at pants sizes of the biggest at fifty-four, and looking at the waist of a forty-two, is a big difference.

That brings my total down one hundred-twenty-one-point-two pounds. I joke and say that I’ve lost my wife in weight. It’s about true, and I’m good with that. I still get those moments of being nervous of being caught in a stall. Especially since the hundred-plus weather isn’t helping my motivation at all. I also went for a walk on Thursday after work, and discovered that I had burnt the top of my head on the walk.36329976_2091643187757945_3984035268909858816_o

I took the above picture on my phone on that Thursday around six-thirty in the evening. I like how the shadows give a bit of a serious look. As I walk, I think about anything and everything. I realized that this is my meditation, as I’m always in my head when I walk. I guess you could say that this is my time at “church”. A time where I have conversations with God. I know that it gives me the chance to just walk, and not think about the physical activity that I’m doing.

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This is the best I’ve felt in a long time. I took this for my weigh-in update photo for the social media. When I saw the scale read three-hundred-eight-point-seven pounds, it’s truly a great feeling. I haven’t been this light, since my oldest child was born, and that was seventeen years ago. The changes, both physically and mentally are incredible. My body is getting closer to my self-image.

It’s incredible to think that as I get ever closer to my fortieth year in life, that I have finally taken control back of who I am. It feels that I let most of my twenties and thirties kind of keep me down, and dictate my uncontrollable self. A feeling of helplessness and hatred for the decisions that I was making. I was lashing out at myself because I let myself get a certain way. I have that control now. I’m not letting life pass me by. I’m finding that strength and happiness that I deserve as a person.

Speaking of goals, I have a few updates about the other parts of my life. One, we are almost ready to go full ahead and film our short The Reunion, that’s the official title of what was previously known as The Dialogue. I’m excited to be working with the casted individuals, as one of them has worked with me, and for me in other projects before. Plus the new blood joining us really seems to be like a good guy as well. I can’t wait to get started so that we can get this one in the “can” and continue on with the other things we’re planing on doing.

The other news, is related to the Geekultural Experience. I’ve been talking to a writer on Tumblr about checking out his Manga and this will be one of those I’ll do a review on for my geek media. I think this is the start of something that could help boost his, and our brands together and I look forward to seeing what other connections that I’ll be doing through the various platforms of social media.

As a reflection of the what’s going on in my personal life: My oldest child will be seventeen years old this Wednesday, and I’m both proud, and surprised by this fact. She’s grown into a beautiful person, and she’s made me very proud of the accomplishments that she’s set for herself. She also makes me feel incredibly old because she is turning seventeen, but I look forward to spending the day with her and watching the fireworks, because she shares the day with the birth of our country’s independence.

Well, this is the Director with another blog, and that’s a wrap.

Oh So Busy

Once again, I’ve had an interesting week. I spent Father’s Day taking my oldest child to the air port so that she could go to Florida, and go to Disney World with her best friend, because he graduated college. So needless to say, my mind has been other places.

I’m down 118.1 pounds so far. It’s nice to know that I’m sitting at a 311.8 and I’ve almost lost my wife in weight. That puts me at a total of 44.7 BMI. I’ve lost almost twenty percent of my fat mass. 300 is getting closer my the weigh-in for sure. More energy and more flexibility, a winning combo. I can’t believe that I can cross my legs.

The other exciting thing is that I found out that I can fit into a size forty-two size pants for work. It’s amazing to know that I’m back in a size that I hadn’t seen in almost eighteen years. Sarah’s proud of me, and the kids are proud of me too. That’s the best part of the reward. Everyone else saying it is just a bonus.

So, this last weekend was also the casting call, that my assistant put her hard work into getting ready. It was a bit disappointing that there wasn’t a huge turn out, and I had a vibe that morning that I didn’t think it was going to be a good day for it, but as a trooper we did that thing. I’ve set up meetings for this week to have people try out for the parts still. Doing low to no-budget isn’t usually a popular thing, and I can’t hide behind the guise that it’s a student film, but I think that this is going to lead unto bigger and better things as we go. The interest in these projects are kind of huge, and I think we’ll have to present the casting in a different way. I think that we’ll also be building a dependable stable of actors to choose from as we go. The life of a filmmaker isn’t easy. Especially since I’m at the point of being the producer as well.

Nash Gray(2017) was a smooth process, and I was happy for that, but this experience isn’t going to keep me from obtaining my goals. I’m just sorry that the kids couldn’t get a real experience for the casting call.

I think that we’ll be filming The Dialogue aka The Reunion within the next few weeks. We’re also getting ready to move into pre-production on a medieval PSA with in the next few weeks as well. I’m happy that the igniter has been lit and that we’re going to be moving forward with content. So much to do in so little time.

The third project that should just start the slower process of pre-production is Unexpected Side Trip. This is a bit of a meatier project, and is going to require some sort of budget to get going. I’m excited as this is going to be my first suspense piece, with the help of Mr. E.V. Smith giving me the material to use to write the screen play.

I have to go back down to LAX to pick up my kid on Friday, and since she’s got a late flight, the family is going to be doing some research on film places, including cameras, and prop places. I think the kids will be excited to learn more about the behind the scenes stuff that goes into creating a moving picture.

That day is the youngest’s birthday, and Jurassic World 2 is also coming out, so that’s happening during the weekend as well. My love of movies, is kind of what lead me to wanting to make movies as it was.

Plus I ran into my buddy Carlos, and we’ll be filming some motivational videos soon as well. I’m looking forward to expanding the content I deliver, and I can’t wait to see his positive message out in the world.

With everything going on, Sarah’s becoming more familiar with the paper work side of things, and it helps the company be more organized. That’s it! This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Lost Words

As someone who tries to have a positive word, I find myself sometimes stumped on the right words to say. I’ve been struggling with finding the right words to put someone’s mind at rest. I’ve tried tell them that everything’s going to be okay, but I’m not sure that those are the words, they want to hear. I know that we’ve been trying to move forward with getting something together so that we can start filming, and I know that we will. It’s just finding the proper rhythm, and getting the cogs to function together takes time.

Sure, I would expect far more if we were getting paid to produce something. That’s kind of the ugly part about being the guy in charge. However, with this all being voluntary, I’m personally not expecting things to work right away. I appreciate everyone who does donate their time to helping me, and being part of the team.  It’s supposed to be fun, right? And that’s the feeling that I’m going to continue to have, even if we have a few hiccups along the way.

I get the frustrations that things aren’t moving forward fast enough. Hell, I’ve spent the last year, trying to get head way on a new profession, and I’m just now seeing a real glimmer of hope. Truth is, I too want to have something that we can get into pre-production, and I know we will…even if it takes a bit longer to get there. I’ve got a talented group of people working with me, and it’s just getting the right thing to start moving forward. I know that’s going to happen soon.

This weekend is a four day weekend for me, and I think that I’m going to have one productive weekend, as I work on projects, that I’ve not had all the time to focus on. I know that more script writing will be involved, and I love the process.

For a change of subject; I was realizing today that I’m about a week away from my six month mark for my surgery. God, this has been an interesting ride, to say the least. I already feel like a new man, and I can’t wait to see where this ride is going to take me. Even at my surgery weight of 400.1 pounds, I’ve already lost eighty-two, that’s crazy. This last year was all about me busting my ass off. No regrets, whatsoever.

I can’t wait to have my studio done so that I can produce more of the regular video’s that I did when we were renting the studio. It was so much fun getting those videos in. Even from that time period, things have vastly changed. As I reflect on that time period, I’ve realized that I’m not the same person I was a year ago.

I think there’s a certain maturity in that. My motivation, my drive, it’s all on a different level now. As much as I like my video games, and watching television, I just don’t feel like I have the time anymore. I feel like I have even less time for bullshit, as I’m working on achieving my dreams of being a successful film director.

It’s amazing to see how I’ve grown as a storyteller as well. Believe it or not, blogging has helped me be a better writer, and storyteller. I remember when I thought coming up with 500 words felt like such a struggle to accomplish. When I started, I’d average about 300-400 words, and I would be done telling my story.

I still feel days that blogging is a chore, but the truth is, it has gotten so much easier to write thoughts, and put the details done as I go along. I even called to talk to someone about how they could improve their script writing last night. It was a great moment to share my experience… I sometimes can’t believe it’s my life that I’m living still. I almost feel that it’s an outer body experience at times. Someday reality will hit me that I’m the one doing all this stuff, I’m sure of it.

Any way, this is the director, and that’s a wrap!

Water To Make It Grow

There was an idea. A minuscule thought that I decided I couldn’t just let go. So, I took that thought, and I decided to plant it. I needed a way to make this tiny thought grow. I needed to nurture it. I had to wait to see the buds come out of the soil. I was kind of scared to think about how it would look, if that bud would be worth it, and yet I needed to see if I could turn it into a flower. Then the thoughts of would it be good enough to bare fruit. I just wasn’t sure, if I was the right gardener.

The idea was to better myself, and I spent about a year thinking about it. Hell, I don’t even think that I thought too much on it, but that I wanted to just shut everything off. I didn’t want to deal with what life had given me at that time. I just wanted to feel numb. I wasn’t ready to grow yet.

When I had found out that change needed to happen, that’s when the idea started to form. I wasn’t quite ready for it to grow, but it was starting. When I decided to plant it, I made one of the most grown up decisions of my life: I would go back to school. I was tired of the wasteland that had become my life. I was tired of feeling trapped in a barren land where nothing was seemingly providing me with more than an unknown thirst. I couldn’t find a way to hydrate my soul, and I became desperate to quench that thirst. I just didn’t know how, or what I could do to change that feeling.

All I had known was that I needed something drastic to happen, and that came in the form of three words, “What’s up, bitches?” This would provide me with the time I needed to find the help and the watering trough that I would need to refresh myself. It’s funny to look back on that moment and realize that from a professional standpoint, “what’s up, bitches,” would be my legacy. Little did I realize that my life would take a drastic turn, and push me in ways I hadn’t expected.

As the seed was in the ground, I needed to water it, and school was the start of the fountain that would turn the seed into a bud. As I would go along, that fountain would also help that bud grow into a tree. This tree would bare the sweetest fruit that I had ever had in my life. I would become satisfied with a full belly, and the thirst would disappear.

As that tree started to grow almost four years ago. So would my life, and how funny that I would compare a tree to my life, as often that is the symbol of life. As a seed, my life was in shambles, I was ready to die, and I didn’t have my shit together. As, the process of education and going back to work happened, the tree grew bigger, and my life started to find the proper direction. Life had started to root into a solid foundation.

I wouldn’t have imagine that the fruit would end up being goals that I had never expected to accomplish. The CK Project was a seed that had died out when my life had become that barren wasteland. I had always wanted my own production company, when I was younger I always imagined that I’d be producing music, and movies, along with acting hadn’t ever been apart of that picture. Yet Luckey Bom Films would end up being the first fruit, and after consideration. The health and wellness part would become the second fruit.

Besides the Geekultural Experience the biggest blossom from the tree has been the drive that I never knew I had. This is where the gardening takes place, as I try to bare more fruit for my labors. So, now I’ve had time to see where my potential is taking me. I continue to grow, and the fruit keeps getting bigger and better. Life is turning into Eden for me, and I love it.

One year ago today, I had my first sleep study. It would lead me to this moment where I’m over one hundred pounds lighter, and my life expectancy has gotten longer. I’ve grown as a man, and I couldn’t be any more grateful for the support that I constantly get. The Facebook likes and comments, the Instagram likes, the Twitter comments. It all goes to validate what I’ve been trying to accomplish, and with the inspiration that people have told me that get from me, shows that I’m helping harvesting more gardens, and I hope that people can get what they are in return looking for.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

“Don’t Call It a Come Back”

It’s funny to see where I was in the beginnings of my blogging life. So, much has changed since the early blogs.

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

    As I review these few sentences that I wrote in 2016. I remember thinking that I would try and write 500 words on every blog. I also remember thinking that 500 words were far harder to come up with than I thought they would be.

As I’ve gone along, my writing has gotten better, and my words are averaging about 670. My views and likes have gone up as well. That makes me feel a bit justified in the writings that I do.

At that time, I thought, “hey, I’ll just right all my thoughts down.” Little did I know that I would finally come up with a plan that focused more on mental health and a weight loss journey. I knew that the mental health was always something that I planned on addressing, and that’s why I keep a certain amount of transparency in my life. It’s a raw and brutal truth at times. I see that some people don’t seem to handle my decisions well, and to each their own really. I’m doing this because I know what it’s like to be someone who didn’t know what to do about a given situation and was too afraid to ask for the help, until it was too late.

I don’t want anyone to ever get into a desperate situation that could have lasting negative effects. That’s why I’ve asked myself to commit to this task. It’s not always easy to speak on what is currently going on in my life. I don’t always feel comfortable being vulnerable, but I find it necessary, not only in my personal growth, but in the aid of others. It’s refreshing when I get pm’s that state how helpful that was for a situation someone was in.

If I’m to speak plainly about some of the comments. The ego’s been fed when the pretty girl I had a crush on in school, mentions how proud she is of what I’m doing. Hopefully she, or they know who they are, and thank you for helping me feel that I’ve not waisted my time on this.

Exploring who I am as a person, has brought me on an incredible journey, as I’ve made more friends, and more solid relationships along the way. I’m fortunate enough to say that I’ve got an amazing group of people, who I get to work with on the personal projects. Part of that discovery is that being transparent about myself has helped give courage to putting myself out there to network, and not be afraid of asking for help.

It’s in these connections that I find the most reward. Then to look back on the first few blogs that I did, and to see where I’m at now compared to where I was, or what I thought I would be doing at that time, it blows my mind. Never would I have thought that I would be as driven to succeed as I am now. The film company was something I always wanted, but to add the CK Project  and the Geekultural Experience wasn’t what I was striving for at the time. Hell, I don’t even think I was in any kind of thoughts about having the Gastric Sleeve done.

Now, I’m over 100 pounds down, and I’m constantly staying busy with my brands to get them up and successful. Anything worth doing is never easy, but I’m determined to make something amazing happen, and I have the right people involved to help me get there, and they get to share in that success with me as well.

Anyway, this is the Director and that’s a wrap.

The CK Project

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

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