Fix That Motivation With Time

I have been off of the nightshift for two weeks now, and I can’t say how much happier I am. It felt like the last six-months has been nothing but a dream. I am aware that I did some things, but I felt like I was in a fog for most of the time. My days were filled with zombified waling around.

I think part of the problem was that the night shift made me feel a bit lonely. I was reduced to being in bed with my wife for only two nights a week. There wasn’t many people coming through where I was stationed at night, and the night’s that I got the easiest post, I would begin to feel even more secluded. At least I could generally get in my steps with no problems.

Now that I have hours that the normal, sane, living person has, I am getting more of my creative flow back. I’ve been writing more than I had been in the last six months, and my mind is on fire with creativity and ideas to get things back on track. So, I’m back to providing content, and life is feeling good again.

There were things that I was thankful for about night shift though. The weather was over all cooler, and being back in one-hundred-degrees-plus during the day time reminded me of that. Oh and the fact that the earthquakes happened at that time. I don’t think I would have wanted to deal with the amount of people trying to get access to places they couldn’t because of the damage.

Getting back on track of things though, I’m thankful that there are people who do like the night shift. They are a special breed of people that thrive there, and I’m just not one of them. I mean I did well enough, but I just found that it wasn’t my cup of tea.

I’m finding that getting into the full swing of being on a normal shift seems to be taking me a bit longer than I expected to adjust, however I do know how resilient I can be. The 10,000 steps I take, seem to be a bit of a struggle to get too in the heat, but I know that it will be worth it in the end.

The shift in my mindset has been noticeable, as I’m working almost constantly to get more content out. If I’m not actually doing it, I seem to be thinking about it. My sleep patterns have gotten so much better. There really is something to be next to the person that I’ve spent almost half of my life with. I sleep better, and she sleeps better. Even my dog sleeps better.

With that being said, while I’ve had some set backs on getting the big content I wanted out. I have made the steps necessary to get that moving. We did some test shots last night as a part of getting ready to film our short. Re-writes are underway as I continue to work on getting the script ready to shoot. I’m just glad that I’m getting that motivation back to get things done.

I’m not sure if the night shift was conducive with my mental health, but I did learn so much about myself while being on there, and my appreciation for the people I deal with has grown. I’ve gotten so many reactions about not being seen for six months or more, and it makes me feel good to know that I was missed.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t make much of a difference in people’s lives, but then the reactions tell me otherwise. It reminds me of when I was in a darker mindset that if I wasn’t around, then nobody would miss me. I don’t actually think that way anymore because of all the praises and comments I get on a daily basis. Getting called an inspiration does feel good, and being able to reach out a helping hand has built in a new confidence in me.

The biggest thing that I can say about walking away from night shift is that I realized that I learned a part of my job that wasn’t likely to get too during the day shift and if that skill even needed to be applied during the busy hours, I could accomplish that aspect of the job.

Things have been set in motion and I can only look forward from here on out, I don’t ever think I will volunteer to go back on night shift, however if something was to force me onto it, I think I would survive it just fine.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Sometimes We Fail, and Sometimes We Succeed

So this week turned into a week that had both ups and downs when it came to my progress in life. I was trying to get a promotion at work, and it got denied. I was told that I was very close to passing the interview and test process, yet I came up short. While I had a very common response from co-workers about the results, I feel that the blame was to be put on my shoulders.

I was talked too, and advised on ways to improve and I could apply again in six months. The truth is, I feel that I was just stuck too much in my head, and my confidence wasn’t where it needed to be. The interview was different from any other type of interview that I’ve ever had. Couple that, with the fact that I hadn’t really had an interview for anything in about a decade, I just wasn’t quite ready for what was ahead of me.

I’m not taking this as something negative, because it just goes to show that I need to work on presenting myself better for the next time. I’m also going to reach out and look for other options that might be out there. All I do know is that it’s time for me to really start looking for something that would provide me with a better income while I work on my brands.

I wasn’t going to let that bit of news dictate my week, instead I had some fantastic news in the form of a non-scale victory. I decided to purchase an extra-large, shirt to have something to work towards in my weight loss journey. The best part is that it fit really well. I mean it hasn’t even been two years since my surgery, and I’ve gone from a five-x in shirts, to an extra-large. I’ve also gone from a three-x in athletic shorts, and I can fit into a large. All this in just about a year-and-a-half.

This news has put a positive feeling in my life, and I’m carrying it as far as I can. I seem to be maintaining weight at 260, and as of now I’m okay with that. I’m still moving down somewhere at least. How my clothes are fitting is just as important as the numbers on the scale.

I still have to set an important appointment with my doctor about setting up a date to get my extra skin removed. The last appointment I had, the doctor said that it’s probably about twenty-pounds of skin to remove. Twenty-pounds? That’s crazy! My only issues about it is this; the unsightly scar that will be left, and the pain.

I know the scar issue seems a bit small, I mean who’s going to actually see me without a shirt on, except in my house? I know that it’s a bit of a vanity thing, and they do say that ego get in the way of smart choices. Still, I’ve got more than enough scars to last me a life time. Everything from surgical scars, to acne, keloids, and stretch marks. I’m gonna do it still because it is twenty-pounds.

The second issue I have is the pain that comes with recovery of the surgery. I have someone that I currently follow on Instagram just go through the skin removal process, and I’m watching and waiting to see how her process goes. I’m sure going to reach out to her and ask her questions as she progresses along. I’ve heard people say that it’s about one of the worst pains in regards to recovery. I hope that I’m not going to get in my head that way.

If there was anything that I learned from this week, is that I have a wonderful support system. As for the job, my co-workers  gave their reactions, and the next response was, what kind of help do I need to get me to that promotion status. This last year at my job has renewed my faith in my fellow man. I’ve been able to connect, and make better friends with them.

I know that most people look at work as a way to make money, and that they aren’t there to make “friends”. While I some what agree with that, it helps if you can get along with them. It makes the monotony of the day go by easier. I’ve been in spots that co-workers would rather back stab people to get themselves farther up the ladder. I’ve been “thrown under the bus” too many times to count.

I don’t know if it’s because my own attitude has changed, but I’m truly amazed by all the support I’ve gotten over the last few years. I find that my biggest obstacle in anything is myself. There are times that my insecurity issues sabotage my success, but that doesn’t happen as much as it used too. Having control over the way I react to things is liberating to say the least.

Anyway, that about sums up this little piece of mind. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Shifting Gears And Shifts: Better Days Ahead

So I finally am free of the night shift at work. It was a great experience, and I’m glad I did it, however it seemed to keep me in a zombified state for the last six months. To be quite honest, I felt like there was what seemed like a pause on life for awhile being on this shift.

It’s funny that as I got towards the end of my time on the night shift, I started to feel like I was starting to finally get the hang of it, and now I have to adjust to the fact that I’m back on a reasonable schedule again. I had done many days of staying up for over twenty-four hours to spend time with the family, and I’m glad that won’t have to happen again.

Truth is this: The hours were easy, the part I didn’t like was that it would take me away from being home at night with the family. After being with the same woman for over eighteen years, it was hard to only spend two-nights a week in the same bed with her there. It made it difficult for my children to stay quiet while “daddy” slept. Otherwise, it was easy.

Now that I got that out of the way, let’s get to the points that this blog is about, mental health and weight loss. Sometimes, it leans more towards one than the other, but I’m going to adjust to both tonight.

I could easily get in my 10,000 steps in a night, and even get an additional 10,000 before the shift was over. The weather was cooler, and I had a lot of time to myself to work on my physical condition. I picked up on doing about one-hundred wall push-ups a night, and it kept me busy. I would often leave at the end of my shift physically tired from the cardio and strength training. This part was the simplest of the job, I got to learn skills that I hadn’t had the chance to work on before, and so I know it added to my capabilities as a worker.

Now, there were nights that I had even less contact with people, and there were a few times that my thoughts would go to insecure places. It happened a few times, but at least I was able to work through those moments. The best thing was that I was doing my best to keep busy, both mind and body.

Quick Disclaimer: I felt like it had been a long time since I actually wrote substance, and I want to give better details on what’s been going on.

I had to pass a physical agility test at work in April, this I know that I’ve stated, however I hadn’t really talked about where that was going to take me. I had passed and I started to make moves to get myself a promotion. Within the last couple of weeks, I was able to have an interview, and it looks promising. I’m not going to say that I nailed all the questions that I had been asked, but I feel that I did okay. I feel that I was able to competently get through the gauntlet of questions, and show that I would be capable of the said position that I’m  trying for.

I’ve had friends and co-workers ask if I knew anything about getting the job, an I don’t know yet. I suppose that I will be finding out here in a couple of weeks how I did. Hell, I might just see if I can run into one of the decision makers, and see if they could at least give me a hint on the progress there.

A mental health win is the fact that I’ve never felt so supported in achieving a better position as I do now. I’ve come to discover that I have some of the best co-workers that I’ve ever had in the eleven-plus years doing my job. As a matter of fact, it was at the suggestion of more than one co-worker that I actually would be good in a higher standing position at work, and that was part of what motivated me to try and get to that next step.

Now, I’m finding challenges adjusting to my job with this 100-plus degree heat, and the fact that I work outside most of the time, trying to get those steps in. I know that I have to reacclimatize to the hottest part of the day, but I also feel better having a more busy pace at work. It helps the work week go by so quickly.

At least pushing through the heat is helping my steps give me more of a sweat! Mentally I feel better seeing people that I’ve talked to for years at my job, and I’m pumped for the changes that should be coming my way.

I will be pushing out far more content with the blogs, vlogs, and various other things that I work on. I’m back and ready to be here for you all. With that, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

The Work Flow Struggle

So, I’ve been working the night shift for the last four weeks, and I’ve got about five-and-a-half months to go before I’ll be able to change to back to another shift. I’m not complaining about the work, because night shift is easy, and it allows me to get in my ten-thousand steps relatively uninterrupted. There are other pluses about the shift, like not having to deal with the every day politics that goes on during the normal working hours, and I’m not killing my skin by being out in the sun all day, yet being a family man has put a damper on some of the ways I spend my “quality time” with them.

That’s one of the tricks there, having to switch between the days, and nights during my days off, so that I can see, and be with my family, so they know that I haven’t forgotten them while I “burn the midnight oil” while I’m at work. So, my sleep schedule is shit, but I’m not going to let a little thing like sleep, keep me down. I find that the first half of the week starts  out stronger than the second half. Once I hit my Wednesday-Thursday part of the week, I’m ready to be done, and I find it harder to keep awake.

Outside of that, I find that my creativity is down and that I’m only really able to get things done on the Sunday that I stay up to get ready for my work week. This has made me consider and possibly long for the days of being on day shift. I did it for ten-years, and I find that being creative comes better for me at night, then it does during the day.

This presents a problem as I’ve got a couple of projects that are going to be moving into the pre-production stage relatively soon, and I have several things to do before we actually start filming. I can’t wait until the days of my brands making the living that I’ve been looking forward too.

The reasons that I decided to go to the night shift was to be able to have the knowledge that I’ve done every set of shifts on the weekday side, and it gives me the chance to learn aspects of the job, that wasn’t necessarily a part of the day shift. That and the fact that I could focus on getting my steps in during the shift. While day’s are busy, it doesn’t give me much time to get the steps in.

So far, I find that I prefer the mid-shift because it was a good way for me to get a good amount of sleep. My sleep schedule wasn’t shit, which was a first in the ten-plus years being at my job. I liked that it started out being busy and would start to slow down about half-way through so that I could get my steps in. I know that it sounds a bit selfish, but with the journey that I’ve taken in my life, I feel that the motivation isn’t misplaced. The only down side of doing the mid-shift was that I spent even less time with the family, but it made the weekend’s even more special.

Anyway, I’ve got about twenty-one more weeks until we get another shift change, and “my momma didn’t raise no quitter”. It gives me the chance to continue to work on my personal goals, with my steps, and weight loss. I just hate the fact that my work week consists of me in the internal zombie mode until about the time I actually go to work.  The cold at night has been sucking lately, and I’ve had to get thermals to help keep me warm. Yet, I will endure.

I’m sure that given enough time, I will figure everything out and get the creativity flowing before I actually have to go to work, and that means, I might have to start from the time I get up, until my shower to actually work on things. That’s not such a bad idea, now that I think about it.

Speaking of projects, The Reunion should be out in a couple more weeks, as I’ve gotten the title credits done, and sound editing done. Now I just need the music, and do the end credit sequence and I’ll have it out. I feel happy that I can now do basic animation on Adobe After Effects.  That was something that kept me from getting anything done with the short, and while I changed the way I was doing things, I think that it came out decent, and I totally think that practical effects is going to be the way I prefer to go, until I get that big budget movie money to hire a real CGI expert. Movie making is a team effort.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

The Long Awaited Update

Twelve days is a long time to update. Part of it was due to technical difficulty, and part of it was due to the fact that I started working a new schedule this last week at work. Adjusting from a morning start time, to an afternoon start time has thrown off my schedule. It’s weird when you do something for a certain time for a number of years, just to try and something new, it’s a major adjustment.

So, I took my girls up north to San Jose for a Paramour concert last weekend. Foster the People headlined with them, and I wasn’t quite able to catch the name of the opening act, but I’m gonna research when I have some time. The whole concert was amazing, and we were in the lawn section, the only bad part was that vapors and joints were getting lit up and blown everywhere. I have a seventeen-year-old who has asthma, so that made the experience for her less than pleasant. At least she enjoyed the show, and as a parent, I get a joy in the heart watching my kids be happy. Even if I spent the total of six hours each way to get there and get home.

The drive really kicked my ass, but it was nice to explore somewhere I’d never been before.

So, for the last ten years of my job, I’ve worked from five in the morning to around three in the afternoon. I’ll be the first to admit that I hate getting up before six, and four o’clock has been the norm for me for so long. I started the swing shift this week. I’m glad that I can get up with out an alarm, but I’m finding my day starting at one, and ending at eleven to be a bit of an adjustment. This is why I haven’t been so active this last week on social media, plus our internet was out(damn technology).

Because of this adjustment, I’ve been trying to spend as much time with the kids before school starts again, because they’re so used to me being home and spending the evenings and nights with them. I love my kids, and they grow up so damn fast. Hell, I can’t believe that school is almost back in session.

Let’s get on too the real reason people tend to follow my blog, for the weight loss journey aspect of it. I had to adjust my training sessions, so now I do Tuesdays and Thursdays at nine-thirty. I actually like working out earlier in the day, I just hate not being able to help with the grappling class.

I did notice that I lost a few more pounds and that I’m about 304.7. I’m hoping to see the numbers under 300 by my next check-up in two weeks. It would be amazing to be a weight that I was or less, than when I was first in my relationship with Sarah. My workouts are getting more intense and I’m lifting heavier as well. I’m getting stronger, and I actually added a third day, by going to the gym today. It was fun, because I got to take Little Chris and teach him some lifting exercises. Not only is it a great bonding experience, but it’s fun to share the passion of lifting with him.

I’m hoping that this upcoming week is the week that I find a new rhythm at work. The pace is way different, but my new crew is awesome, so it makes work enjoyable. I have a few more things getting lined up for projects, one being a documentary, which I can’t quite get into the details quite yet, but it’s going to be powerful once we start working on it. Also, we’re starting to film our first post school project next weekend, and with the business meetings going on this weekend, it feels good to get things going again.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

Keeping The Faith Two Pounds At A Time

I went to my seventh month check up yesterday. As of what I’ve been weighing myself, it was a two-point-one pound gain. The doctor’s records show that I lost five pounds since my last visit. Two pounds isn’t very much, and that could have gone in either direction. It could have been the poop I didn’t get in before, or just the water that I’ve been consuming. Even better, it could be the fact that I weighed in on a different scale than I have been using for my two week weigh ins. Plus it had only been a week since I last checked myself. I figure that it doesn’t really count, but for the sake of transparency, I’m putting it out there for everybody.

I had a five-day weekend and I’m not gonna lie, work is killing my mood. I really don’t want to battle the 110 degree heat tomorrow. With that I challenged myself to a six-day ten thousand step challenge. I did well, until I woke up and realized that the vibrations from the fan on my desk made it look like I walked over 57,000 steps in an eight hour period. That just threw everything off for me, but to be honest, the heat was whooping my ass anyway, and I’ll take the sixth day as failed, but I still got in over 50,000 steps in the last five-days, hell more like 60,0000.

I have two weeks until my schedule at work shifts from a 5am-3pm time slot to a 1pm-11pm time slot. I have mixed feelings about this. The negative side is that I’ll spend less time with the kids, and that kills me with helping them out during they’re grappling sessions. It’s a bit weird because I’ve been on the day schedule for the last ten years. That makes me a little nervous, yet being someone who always tries to look for a silver lining, the biggest positive comes to mind… I don’t have to get up at four in the morning anymore. I know it might seem a bit strange that I would feel that way, but God I hate getting up at anytime before six. Hell, I could even handle getting up about five-five-thirty, but there’s just something about four o’clock that I just don’t like doing. I mean, I usually can’t convince myself to get into bed before ten at night anyway, so that might have something to do with it.

Other big news, is I finally heard back from one of the jobs that I’ve been trying to get. They said that they were gonna see about getting me an interview, and that was still up to the higher boss on that. This is what I’ve been wanting for so long, yet there’s that part of me that is afraid that I’m not good enough. Yeah, I do realize that it sounds a bit silly, but that’s the mind of someone who’s had low self-esteem issues for the better part of my life. I also know that I’m not the only one who’s had those types of thoughts. I really hope that things go the way, I’d like them too.

Also, we’re just about ready to film The Reunion. We had a final production meeting on it, and we’re currently going to be getting a reading in, having to work around everyone’s schedule. So, with all the parties notified, we should be filming on August fourth. I’m excited to get this going, as it brings the crew back together for another fun time. This month is turning into craziness though, as Friday the thirteenth, I’m taking the wife out of town for our seventeen year anniversary. Then, next weekend we take the oldest up north about five hours for a Paramour concert. This is going to be an exciting adventure.

I’m glad to be able to be busy doing all these things, and right before my schedule change too. I  think that things are going to be more interesting from here on out, and I plan on working on getting several things done within the next several months, so that I can help boost my demo reel with professional work as well.

Be good to each other, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Lost Words

As someone who tries to have a positive word, I find myself sometimes stumped on the right words to say. I’ve been struggling with finding the right words to put someone’s mind at rest. I’ve tried tell them that everything’s going to be okay, but I’m not sure that those are the words, they want to hear. I know that we’ve been trying to move forward with getting something together so that we can start filming, and I know that we will. It’s just finding the proper rhythm, and getting the cogs to function together takes time.

Sure, I would expect far more if we were getting paid to produce something. That’s kind of the ugly part about being the guy in charge. However, with this all being voluntary, I’m personally not expecting things to work right away. I appreciate everyone who does donate their time to helping me, and being part of the team.  It’s supposed to be fun, right? And that’s the feeling that I’m going to continue to have, even if we have a few hiccups along the way.

I get the frustrations that things aren’t moving forward fast enough. Hell, I’ve spent the last year, trying to get head way on a new profession, and I’m just now seeing a real glimmer of hope. Truth is, I too want to have something that we can get into pre-production, and I know we will…even if it takes a bit longer to get there. I’ve got a talented group of people working with me, and it’s just getting the right thing to start moving forward. I know that’s going to happen soon.

This weekend is a four day weekend for me, and I think that I’m going to have one productive weekend, as I work on projects, that I’ve not had all the time to focus on. I know that more script writing will be involved, and I love the process.

For a change of subject; I was realizing today that I’m about a week away from my six month mark for my surgery. God, this has been an interesting ride, to say the least. I already feel like a new man, and I can’t wait to see where this ride is going to take me. Even at my surgery weight of 400.1 pounds, I’ve already lost eighty-two, that’s crazy. This last year was all about me busting my ass off. No regrets, whatsoever.

I can’t wait to have my studio done so that I can produce more of the regular video’s that I did when we were renting the studio. It was so much fun getting those videos in. Even from that time period, things have vastly changed. As I reflect on that time period, I’ve realized that I’m not the same person I was a year ago.

I think there’s a certain maturity in that. My motivation, my drive, it’s all on a different level now. As much as I like my video games, and watching television, I just don’t feel like I have the time anymore. I feel like I have even less time for bullshit, as I’m working on achieving my dreams of being a successful film director.

It’s amazing to see how I’ve grown as a storyteller as well. Believe it or not, blogging has helped me be a better writer, and storyteller. I remember when I thought coming up with 500 words felt like such a struggle to accomplish. When I started, I’d average about 300-400 words, and I would be done telling my story.

I still feel days that blogging is a chore, but the truth is, it has gotten so much easier to write thoughts, and put the details done as I go along. I even called to talk to someone about how they could improve their script writing last night. It was a great moment to share my experience… I sometimes can’t believe it’s my life that I’m living still. I almost feel that it’s an outer body experience at times. Someday reality will hit me that I’m the one doing all this stuff, I’m sure of it.

Any way, this is the director, and that’s a wrap!

Struck By Motivation

So, I decided that I was going to make my 10,000 steps today. My current total is 13,054 steps for the day. Which means I’ve traveled 5.8 miles and burned 772 Calories. Not bad for a Tuesday. The one thing that I noticed today is that I’m feeling a slight pull in the back on my right hamstring. I think that I need to stretch it out, and I hope that helps.

With life going at such a fast pace, I’ve felt that I had a few weeks of lost motivation. I know that it’s a normal response to lose motivation. You can’t always go 100% all the time without a bit of fatigue. I was there creatively as well, but I’m finding that extra motivation to continue to work on that as well. The lack of motivation was just a phase, but it was a habit that I had been comfortable with for a long time.

As I sit here and write this, I think about how I would come home and just play video games, or watch television. I don’t really do those things like I used too. It’s funny to reflect on how I was at this time last year, and to see where I am mentally now. I like to create, that’s something I’ve been a fan of most of my life. Music, stories, poetry, I’ve always had a hand in something creative. Maybe that’s why I’m coming into a place in my life where I’m feeling fulfilled with the things that I work on.

My team should have some stories out that we can look at shooting, and I’m excited to see where this newly formed machine is going to take us. While it’s true that I’ve worked with almost everyone in some form, the relationship of this team is still relatively new. This both excites me, and makes me nervous, because I want this to succeed.

It’s not just that I want the production company to succeed, I want this team to prosper as well. Sometimes I start to fear that ego might get in the way, and that is something I’m trying to avoid. I have enough self-doubt that crosses my mind every so often. Yes, I know that my depression tries to sabotage me, and I have to get reassurance that everything is okay. I guess that’s the emotional side of me. I do try and keep it in check though, and I hate when the creative process seems to be hindered. At least what we’ve done so far, has helped put the team on a better level of understanding.

I know one of the projects that I need to start is to work on an outline for The CK Project. With me down over 110 pounds, I think that we need to start documenting the rest of the transformation, and get some motivational words on video. It’s an idea, that I’ve had, and I did a few small videos before the surgery. The only after surgery videos have come out on Facebook and Snapchat. Part of the goal is to impliment them more as well.

 I’m finding success documenting the weight loss journey through Instagram, and I’ve made several contacts with others on this journey through social media. These people have my full support, and those who I’ve talked too in the real world are getting behind The CK Project. As soon as I get the next prototype for the shirt, if I like it, I’ll be getting them availible to the public, and I know my trainer, Sam Basco, is one of the first customers.

Speaking of Sam, I took my kids too one on his youth grappling classes yesterday, and they seemed to enjoy themselves. I get such a joy watching my children do new things and have fun with social interaction. I find a fasination and pride watching them try their hardest. I think that’s how most parent’s are. I look forward to seeing where my family’s relationship with Flawless Victory MMA  is going to go. The coaches are great, and very supportive in the growth of physical health and the MMA profession.

Sam is also going to help my wife rehab her arm, and get both strength and range of motion back into it. We spent several hours in the emergancy room, just to get meds, and no real examination. I feel that it’s kind of frustrating, when you would expect a medical professional to take the time to examine the problem, but instead say that it’s common, give us a perscription, and send us on our way. That was a huge waste of five hours of our time, but at least she did get something to help.

Professionally, I think that this or next week, I’ll start hearing from the moves that I’m trying to make. I’m really excited about this because, I’m ready to move on and grow into new things(That is why I went to school). I’m trying to keep positive about everything, and while I’ve faultered at times, I do think that the pay off’s going to be big, and I’ve got an eye in three different places for the same kind of job.

Anyway, things are really looking up. I had a rough moment this weekend, but feel better as my point was made. I just need to learn to control the emotions behind it a bit better. So, this is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Productive Saturday

Today, I got up and I walked five miles. I got over 11,000 steps before eleven-thirty this morning. What a way to start my day! After that, I spent most of the day with my son. We got to enjoy watching Avengers: Infinity War (2018) for the second time. Then we had a meeting with people who we are introducing to our creative team.

Allow me to expound on how I felt about Infinity War. As much as I love Marvel Studios, I think that they’ve gotten better over this last year. This movie was not only well balanced, but it proved that they could make a massive movie without losing the story. I’m excited by what the next few movies are going to add to the narrative. I’m sure that part four is going to so answers to the questions and consequences to the actions of this movie. Best movie so far.

So, I have a few creative minds in my group of friends, and some of us share like minded goals. I brought in someone who had worked with me on Nash Gray(2017)  and a mutual friend for a meeting to see if they would work to help on the creative writing side of things. This is especially important because I “apparently” have too many things going on. From trying to make money from my brands. Too working every other aspect that is involved with them. So this is something that I think will help expedite the process of getting something going while I get my priorities straight. I’ll admit that sometimes I can’t just seem to do one thing at a time, but I will get it figured out.

Now on to the weight loss journey that I’ve been on for over five months.32349505_2059831254272472_1460137951194251264_o

I’ve lost over one hundred and seven pounds. I’ve dropped down ten pants sizes. I feel incredible. My confidence has sky rocketed. All in all, life is going good.

I’m always so amazed by how good life has been going. I even have good days, even if they’re less than stellar. Putting positive energies out to the world, really does seem to to come back ten-fold. I’m sure that with the kind of news I had been getting this last week, even better things will be coming this way for me, and my family. By family, I mean the one’s I’m related too, and the one’s I choose to call family. Many of those, have been such a huge inspiration and great support for me. I want to thank them for what they’ve given me.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I want to thank the most inspirational women in my life. My mom, for being there for me through everything. Even if we don’t talk everyday, knowing that you’re there if I need you is enough. My wife, the woman who puts up with my shit and has for the last eighteen years. She’s helped make me the man I am today. The long nights of doing my school work. The long days I had to be at work. The days that I just wanted to give up. She’s been my foundation. To my Echo, my best friend, I love you because you’ve given me just as much support as Sarah, and you’re the person who sees through my bullshit, and will tell me to get my head out of my ass.

If you have your mother, or a mother figure. Thank her for being there for you. Let her know that she’s love and you appreciate that she’s given of herself to raise you. Those who’s mother’s might not be around, remember the things that she’s taught you and give her the tribute that is fitting for her memory.

My gift to my wife started yesterday, as I took her out to lunch on her lunch break, and it continues as we go for a hike with a picnic tomorrow. I’m having a co-worker and his family join us tomorrow, so that’s going to be new and exciting, since I don’t really hang out with too many co-workers. He’s told me about his wife, and I think that we’ll get along with our shared interests in the geek culture.

Be good everyone, and have a safe Sunday. This is the Director and that’s a wrap.

A Week Until Four Months

I have about a week until my four month check up. Damn what a ride this year has been already, as a matter of fact, my size forty-six waist size us getting too big for me. With that comes the fact that I’ve been so busy, and I’ll admit that I kind of slacked off this week. After the craziness of con weekend, I think I deserved a bit of rest. As I sit here, I’m thinking about a conversation I had with my friend Curtis, and the fact that I thought after school I would have a bit of time off for relaxation….

Relaxation, what a load of shit that turned out to be. Not that life going full force isn’t fun, I just thought that I’d have a bit of time to chill during the weekends. Looking at this weekend, it was nice to have a moment to enjoy and sleep in my own bed without doing much, and that was the point, but looking at the rest of the month I have one out of four weekends free, and then I’ve committed to spend time with some of the most awesome people and watch a movie. I’m looking forward to that, as some time to relax with good people.

Keeping busy at least keeps me active. Friday we head one direction for some business, and then on Saturday we have to head in the opposite direction for my four month check up. Plus I’m adding to my weekly routine with my personal trainer this week(hopefully). I have some freelance business to do. I have a conference call tomorrow, I’m excited to see how that is going to turn out.

I’m also busy with some overtime this month at the regular job, and realizing that I have to work the weekend of  Avengers: Infinity War isn’t exactly the thing I wanted on my plate. Especially since I’ve been eager for this movie for two years, but the next weekend will get my money for sure.

Let’s get back to the weight loss journey at hand, while I haven’t weighed myself this week, because of my appointment on Saturday, I feel like I’m down a few more pounds. I saw a friend this weekend, and she told me that I looked so different since the last time she saw me. Again, that’s always a great confidence boost.

It’s funny that the closer I get to being at the -100 pound mark, the more determined I feel about loosing the weight. I figured that over all I have to lose between 220-240 to be at the ultimate goal. As an adult, if I would have been asked, I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of it being a reality, but no shit, this is happening. I’m cranking up the motivation again this week as I’m going to be hitting those 10k steps several times over this week.

Again, this all depends on what all happens to me this week, as with having to get in a couple of hours in for late night overtime at some point, this week? Plus the freelance meetings that I have, then the traveling out of town for a couple of days. There really isn’t enough hours in the day anymore. Yet I will prevail!

One of the things I’ve been doing since graduation is that I’ve been job searching, and I’ve added blogger, and health and wellness to the experience. I love how life is giving me the experience that I need to be better in the professional world.

So, my advice for anyone who seems to be unmotivated or unsure of what they want to do, or where they want to be; all I can say is that it get easier. I remember that after I had my surgery, 10,000 steps seemed so hard to reach. As a matter of fact, I could barely get to 5,000. You’ve seen the stats, you’ve read about the journey. It gets easier, and once you figure that out. You’ll notice when you start to slack. Remember that the biggest trick to weight loss is the fact that it’s a mental game. Keep it there, because once you do. The physical part becomes so much easier. Remember the old cliche: Mind over matter. No shit! It’s true, and that’s the reason I’ve been so successful in this journey. The positivity, the motivation, all of it was my choice.

Reach inside yourself and find that which is going to motivate you. It took me to feel like I was almost dying to take control of my life, and there isn’t anything I regret by doing the surgery. At the same time, I’m not going to lie, it takes work. Sure the weight starts to melt off and you get this false sense of confidence that it’ll be a cake walk. I think that’s why there are those who still fail, even after the surgery, but get that mind right, and tell yourself that you are in control, and make procrastination your bitch. In the end, you’ll thank yourself for the determination.

For too long, I let my depression, keep hold of me. Taking the time to change the way I think was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Now I rarely have a bad day. Even those days, aren’t so bad. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.