When It’s Out of Your Control

Ten-percent, is the things that happens that’s out of your control. ninety-percent is how you react to it. This is something that I’ve mentioned several times over in the previous blogs in the past. With that, I’ve been pretty good about navigating life that way. It tends to work, and help keep the mindset in a good view on life. However, what happens when that ten-percent starts to push the bounds of comfortability?

Frustration has been something that has been going on with me for the last week or so. Is it because I’m having to depend on communications and technology from various areas, that aren’t immediately within my grasp. Anxiety of depending on things that I can’t control has been something I’ve really been feeling the last few days. I’ve also said before that technology can be great, yet there are times that I absolutely loathe society’s dependence on it. I think it’s funny because technology has made filmmaking even more cost effective than ever before.

I guess that the anxiety comes in because of the unknown. It’s common that people would get anxious during situations of uncertainty. It’s taken my focus and put me off track on things that are important for me. Regret can come from decisions that were made. I’m not trying to go there though, because in the end, I feel that I made the right choice. Though in hindsight I could have been a bit more patient before making the choice I made, yet here I am. I know that things will work out. I just need to take that frustration and anxiety, and turn it into patience.

The pressure is still there, especially when taking on responsibility. I worry about the fact that the choice I made could damper if my family is supported. Now, in the end I’m sure everything is going to be okay, but that unknown still puts me on edge. It just shows that I like to be an adult and take on those responsibilities that come from both being one, and being a parent. I strongly feel that where the anxiety comes in, when feeling like being a failure at either one.

One the bright side of the struggle is that once you get past the point and are guaranteed to make it through, the relief and piece of mind are well worth it in the end. So, what happens to those who don’t get to that point? What about those who fall down on “their luck”? These are often the people we see on the side of the road, holding up the Will work for money signs. What do we do about them? I think this is were things get tricky, because some become dependent on drugs as a way to cope with the hard times in life. There are those who also find it as a way to beat the system and take advantage of people’s good hearts. I’ve been in the situation where I’ve given money to those in need, and I’ve also ignored those who’ve been in need.

I’ve recently been put in that situation, and I’ve lost someone because of how I run my principles in life. I take care of me and mine first. If I’m unsure if they’ll be provided for, then I won’t help others. It may even sound harsher than I’m intending it too, but with the shift going on in my life, I wasn’t sure when the next pay check was coming, and I was told by someone that I didn’t really care about them. That’s the furthest thing from the truth, and it hurt. I just know that I’ve got to think of those I’m responsible for.

Anxiety and frustration are hard to control because life can get complicated. One of the things that I’ve learned is that there’s not always a right or wrong answer, the path isn’t always clear. It’s only the consequences of the decisions that we make. I realize that putting it that way makes it sound bad, but it’s just the end result. By my saying no to someone that I care about, because I’m taking care of my responsibilities, I may have lost that person in my life. I can continue on and do the best I can, hoping that person will understand and come back, or I can let it eat me up.

That’s something that I’ve had a bad habit of doing in my life though. I would let even the littlest of things eat me up. I’ve let too many negative situations and people live rent free in my head for so long. Is this something that’s a common occurrence with others? How do we over come such things? I think the answer is in forgiving, both ourselves and those who’ve hurt us. All any of us can do is try and be the best version of ourselves, and try and make the best decisions that we can. Does it always work? No. Some people tend to have self-destructive natures, and making bad decisions can have a certain appeal. It feels like an adrenaline junkie: Will I get caught? How long can I get this feeling to last.

This also brings up a point that I’ve stated in the past, we are our own worst enemies. I know that when anxiety, or depression come along, that’s when I’m not at my best. I start looking for some sort of validation, and continue to seek it. Strangely enough, usually they will follow each other. I remember times when I was working night shift hours, the anxiety of not being able to keep busy with conversation would start getting me to think about my depression. There would be times that just thinking about the dark places that I’ve been, would give me anxiety. It’s funny that I’ve noticed things in life tend to go in a vicious circle. Maybe there’s more than one reason it’s called the circle of life?

I’m not religious by any means. I consider myself spiritual because I do believe that there is a higher power. I hear my old, boxer friend, Philip in my head when he would tell religion is for those afraid of going to hell, spiritual is for those who’ve already been. Well, I’ve been there, and I think those who deal with some form of mental health issues have been there. PTSD, trauma, depression, addiction, these are all various versions of hell. Sometimes those demon’s win, which results in death. Losing a loved one in these situations is never easy.

Being one who’ve been on the brink of harming myself like that, a bit of an insider view is this: the better alternative isn’t always something that’s thought about. That’s not even an option on the table when going through some of those hard times. Yet, being strong enough to survive, and being able to find the help to deal with the issues can give a better outlook on life. It’s all about the mind, body, and spirit, when they are aligned, things flow better. Working out is a natural version anti-depressant. It helps the mind focus, and for some, it’s like a religion. Just something to think about, when getting into a negative mindset.

Patience is something that has been difficult for me to come by at times. I’ve not had much anxiety in the past few years because of that ninety-percent of how I handled it would be to try and keep positive through things. Do you have any suggestions on handling anxiety? Hit me up at ckproject@zohomail.com. Leave me a message or comment down below, and let’s get this conversation started. Don’t forget to subscribe to get the latest blogs when I write them. All any of us can do is to better ourselves, improve the way we treat each other, and hopefully leave the world a better place than when we got here.

I look forward to hearing from you, and hope that we can build a community and lift each other up. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Categories: mental healthTags: , , ,

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