Ready, Let’s Go

January 1, 2021- It’s the start of a new year. So, the common theory is that with the start of a new yea, it’s a new start. A new page, a new chapter. Is it really? Can we just ignore the last twelve months, and think everything is better? I have friends and family who think so. Myself? I feel that all it really does is lead to another day, but that’s not to say that a new year doesn’t have its benefits. I feel that the way momentum has been all over the place, I think that things will turn go into a better place, than last year.

For many people, myself included last year was a rough year, mentally more than anything else. People had taken their lives due to being kept inside and away from social situations. I saw a video from New York City, where a person had jumped out of their window. It wasn’t watching the fall that bothered me, it was the sound. It was louder than I thought it would be. The filmmaker in me thought about how good those mics were, but the fact that this pandemic has put so much stress on people is the sad part.

This has tested relationships, more now than probably ever before. People are discovering that they might not like their partners as much as they thought they did. Domestic violence cases had been elevated, and parent’s patience with their children have been tested more than ever. Mentally, people are tired, and feel they need the relief of normalcy. But how does that even look anymore? Is what we’ve known as normal, ever going to go back to the way it was?

For this answer, I’m gonna be real about my feelings on the subject. I don’t think we’ll ever get back to that normal. I’m interested in seeing just what that new normal is. I’m sure that once social distancing isn’t required anymore, we’ll have an abundance of social gatherings, hell, I’m gonna predict another baby boom is going to happen. Things just won’t be the same. That might not be so bad though.

Mentally, I personally am trying to find a more positive focus, as I know that I’ve slipped back into a negative mindset now and again. There’s so much going on and the world hasn’t exactly been a bright spot in life for a bit. Things are out of our control, and to salvage any sanity, I have to worry about those things that I can control. It’s those things that we, as a society, can’t control that makes people frustrated. Is that something valid? The frustration of how others are acting?

I’ve experienced people in charge, not seem to take this pandemic serious. I’ve seen the wealthy, who can help people in need, make poor decisions that only tend to hurt those who are in need. I’ve seen businesses be destroyed, and I’ve also seen people dramatically change their opinions throughout this experience. Best advice I could give? Be smart about the decisions that you make.

The hardest part about this pandemic, is that the longer it goes on, the closer to home it gets. I personally know more people who’ve come down with Covid-19 than I ever would have thought possible. The sad part is, there are many of them who have tried to do their best to prevent themselves from getting it. I’ve also lost people that I’ve known, and ever cared for to this virus. It’s made me question somethings. It’s caused me to want to appreciate those I do have in my life that much more.

I know that my relationships with people have changed over the last year. I’ve let go of people whom have surprised me with their views on life and people. I’ve learned more about my own feelings on life. Mentally, I had felt shut off for a time. I want to say that part of those reasons, are because of working on the nightshift, but that might just be an excuse. I think that being down a few times with potential symptoms might have been apart of it.

So, where do we go from here? I think that more people are going to be judgmental about sick people being out and about at the stores. I think people going to work sick, and being sent home is going to be encouraged just a bit more. I actually think that masks wearing while sick, might become more popular here in America. Our focuses on technology is going to go in a different direction. I think more focus on getting better ways to communicate will be a major push. I also think the way people work is going to be different. Working at home, will end up being more common place than not. I just think that business’s will take a bit of time to figure things like that out. I think the medical field might also get more focus after the way the medical professionals have served tirelessly through all this. If that ends up not being the case, then that’ll be a shame.

If this pandemic has shown anything else, it’s the inequality of the economic levels. The rich have kept getting richer, as the lower, and middle-classes have struggled to survive. It’s shown that more people need help that others would rather not acknowledge. Mentally, this has strained a large portion of society. I’ve also heard people claiming that the opposite party is evil. Honestly, I think it’s the greed that makes people do evil things, and as it does say in a certain book, “money is the root of all evil.” I’m not going to get preachy on this though.

I just feel mentally tired, and spiritually, I’m finding peace that I’ve not known for sometime. While this past year had been full of unexpected turns of events, I was brought closer to things from the past I had little to no idea about. I was able to meet the missing part of my life and see the man my brother is, and the woman who my sister is. I love them both. I’ve also got to witness how amazing some people truly are, and how inspirational they can be.

Mentally, I think we should take this first day of a new year, and decide who we are, and how we want people to remember us. Is being the self-entitled and arrogant attitude the way we want to be remembered? Do we want to be remembered as someone who showed compassion and forgiveness in a time where things are so uncertain? I personally said that I was going to be a beacon of positivity, and this was a commitment that I made over five-years-ago. Have I faltered? Absolutely. Has my life improved? Far beyond anything that most people realize.

I do want to say a couple more things about where things have been, and the appreciation that I have to those who have shown concerned. On most days, I seemed to get asked if I’m okay (side note, Sarah just asked). I’ve had several people offer to be that support if I needed to talk, they’d listen. If you’re one of those people, thank you. It matters and means more to me than you will ever know.

Since my mother died, and then my ex-wife, as well as some friends, who’ve died from Covid-19 related complications, I’ve not felt much. I know that I’ve been numb, and questioning how I should feel, maybe this is my survival mode switched on. I feel bad for them, and those affected by it, I just try not to dwell on it. My mom had been sick anyway, at least she’s not suffering the pain. My ex, had stage-four adrenal cancer, and she was in really bad shape the last few times I had spoken to her. All I can think is that she’s not suffering anymore. Mentally, I’m doing alright, and I will survive. This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

Categories: Life, mental healthTags: , , ,

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