A Scary Thing Happened Before Work

I had been sick for the last couple of days, but I felt well enough to go to work finally yesterday. I got ready, and then I worked on my time card, so I thought that I was going to have a good shift last night. Unfortunately, I found that the sides of my abdominals were starting to feel like they were squeezing me, as if I had been bounded in a girdle.

This started a chain reaction of me feeling hot, so I went outside a few times and when I came back in the final time, my sides were really squeezing me and then I started having trouble breathing. It was easier to take in air than to breathe out.

I needed up taking an ambulance to the emergency room. The struggle breathing had caused me to throw up. While it wasn’t pleasant, it did help me feel better. Partly because it seemed to take the squeezing on my torso. I also found that flexing them ended up helping to some extent. I was scared, especially since I couldn’t control it.

The fact is that I hate the hospital. I’ve spent too much time there throughout my life. I spent a couple of months when I was a young teen. I spent weeks in a coma, and then I spent three weeks in rehab. Plus, there are more times with my ex-wife that we’d spend time there as well.

Sarah and the kids have spent more time in those beds than I would care to have experienced there. It all started when Sarah was pregnant the first time. She has hyperemesis gravidarum, which is a rare ailment that causes pregnancy to be tough on the body. This wasn’t something we knew about at the time, but has come more too light since Kate Middleton had it when she was pregnant.

Back to the issue at hand, with me spending so much time in hospitals, it’s always weird when I’m the one that needs to be seen. I can’t seem to sit still as it is, as I’m fidgety as it is. I find that I hate sitting still at home as well. I constantly shuffle in my sit as it is when I’m at home. Being sick is something that makes it worse. Now that I’ve become more active, that makes things even worse.

Having the situation happen the other night,  was scary. I hate not having control over my own body. This is something that I think got worse as I got heavier, because I realized that I didn’t have control like I used too. I find when I can get picked up and thrown that it’s the same thing. I’m not used to moving for anything but the power of my own feet. This is something I have to over come, but when I couldn’t control my breathing that was the worst, and that’s why I hate getting sick. I lose control, which makes me uncomfortable.

It bring home how my wife feels about the way her body is going. I also understand why older people seem to get cranky with age. It takes away from something that they had been able to handle their whole lives. The phycological effects are something I can’t even begin to understand. How we deal with this type of situation is what shows the kind of people we are. This could be why some people decide to end their lives over something like this. I could understand that frustration and have that kind of thought pattern come to mind. I also can see how people would decide to be stronger and continue on despite the issues that might come on.

I’m glad Sarah has chosen to be the one to continue on, because she really is the captain of this ship. She keeps the household together in a way that I would really have to take the time and learn, or realize how to do things. I can take care of the kids just fine, but it’s not the same as having their mother take care of them. I’m often time the biggest kid in this house. However, I do have the realization that there is a time and place for that and responsibility. Maybe that’s another reason I hate being sick?

I know that I shouldn’t feel guilty when I’m home sick from work, but I realize that sometimes it becomes a struggle on my co-workers when I’m not there, or at least that’s how I feel. It’s something  that I’ve experienced at work being one to work without that extra help. However I also know what it’s like to have sick co-workers coming to work and spreading the sickness around. It’s funny how contradictory life gets like that, wanting the cake and eating it too.

That’s the frustrating part because we have that hypocrisy, yet sometimes I understand that. It’s like telling our children to do as we say and not as we do. Is that because we want our children to do better than we do? I can almost guarantee that any decent parent would say yes. I know that my goal in life as a parent is just that: I want my kids to do and be better than I am, or I ever was. That’s not to say that I’m horrible or a bad person, but I know that I also slacked off, and could have done better myself when I was younger.

Anyway, this Corona virus seems to be serious, and all I can say is that be careful while being out there. If you’re relatively healthy, then you have less to worry about than someone who  is elderly, or auto immune deficient.  That’s not to say not to take it serious, just be careful, and keep in mind those who struggle with low-income, and those who have small children. I think that the middle-class and the rich are going to be okay, but those of us who tend to struggle from paycheck to paycheck, have the real problems going on.

I have a friend who is fearful that the food in stores will be completely wiped out and she’s got small children that she needs to feed. I can hear the comments of, “well, they should have prepared for this already,” and while I can picture that being said, I also am mindful of what kind of situation she’s in. This is California after all, and minimum to just above minimum wage jobs aren’t enough to pay for everything and have a comfortable living. So that means it’s harder for people to take time off, or prepare efficiently for this “pandemic”.

Some of the uglier things that come out of this “emergency” is just how much upper and lower classes are different. The upper class can take a few days off and survive just fine. The lower class have to scrap and earn just to get by. That’s why it’s easier to say take a day off then the realities of actually taking the day off. Sometimes, that day off is the difference between paying a bill or having utilities being shut off.

So please, be kind to each other, this is just the start, and I feel that it’s more of a media induced panic than helped anybody get through this. If you need to talk about this, you should be able to reach me on here, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChrisKeelingProject/, Twitter: https://twitter.com/ckproject, or my e-mail at ckproject@zohomail.com. Remember to like and subscribe to my blog, and various social medias. The support is always appreciated. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

 

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