Twelve Days of Silence

So, it’s been about twelve days since I wrote a blog. Twelve days since I let my thoughts and feelings give voice unto what life has been like. I’ll be the first to admit that things haven’t been too out of the norm for me, but I should never let that length of time go without giving something to help guide people unto clarity.

That’s not to say that I haven’t bee writing. After all, I did finish the second draft of the project after I Unexpected Side Trip. I have page ten typed up of fifty-nine hand written pages done. Plus I also got into re-writing Appreciate What You Got, which was the first sort I ever filmed. I’m also re-editing that film because I botched up the editing job when it came out. I figured that I could get it a bit better editing, and add a bit for something to present, while I’m working on the other projects.

Outside of that, I’ve gotten sick with a bug a few times in the last couple of weeks, and it kind of has me feeling bummed out by it. This killed my workout, and my ten-thousand steps a day. It’s crazy that I start feeling guilty about getting sick.

I hope things go well because I have my twenty-three month check-up coming up on Saturday. It’s time to get the discussion of skin removal, and I feel that it’s seriously something I want to do. I’ve been feeling itchy around my belly button for the last several weeks, and I’m not sure why.

I feel that I need to work harder to get past this plateau, it seems that my habits are coming back and I still need to become more mindful and nip them in the bud. I know that this is something I’ve mentioned before and I still continue to struggle with, however on the plus side, it’s something that I’m aware of. So, it is something that I will get through.

In my training sessions, I’ve increased the weight in which I lift, and it’s giving me the workout that I need, and taking me to another level. Part of me feels like I’m dying, while the other part is glad that I made it through without dying. I know that going with heavier weights, I have to be more mindful of my form because any slight misstep and I can hurt myself. Sam, is always telling me to unlock that inner rage to push heavier, and I’m slowly getting there, it’s just been hard to do. After all, I used to be angry all the time.

As I watch videos of myself lifting, I was told that it’s good to let out grunts, but honestly I find myself a bit on the obnoxious side when hearing the nosies that come out of my mouth. That was always something that bothered me about gyms. Now, I get why it’s done, but like I said, it’s a bit obnoxious.

I’ve been trying to be more conscious about my carb intake, and fast food, really is bad for you. I never really thought about the calorie and carb intake of a breakfast burrito, but seeing that the combo can run up to over 1,000 calories is depressing. That’s even more true for those who are on a 2,000 calorie-a-day diet. That’s like half of the amount you can have in one day. One freaking meal, that just blows my mind.

So, I’ve been on this journey for almost two-years and I can’t believe that it’s been that amount of time. It gets easier as you go, that’s the plus side of things, but at the same time, it’s not hard into falling into bad habits. Like I said, I see where some of mine have come back and I’m learning to deal with them accordingly. Doesn’t it suck when you feel the doubt, and feel that failure is at hand? I have my bad days, but I try and keep going. Maybe that’s the reason that I’ve been going between those five-pounds?

The secret to success is to keep going. Yes, you’re gonna have good days, and you’re gonna have bad days, but don’t let the bad days define your efforts. As long as you realize that you can keep on the right path the next day, there’s always hope for success. Failure is inevitable, but the only true sense of failure is when you decide to quit. Otherwise, it’s a teacher to help get you to the point of success. I find this encouraging, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.

If I’ve benefited from anything during my weight loss journey, besides the weight loss, it’s that I’m in better touch with my fellow humans. I’ve always been personable and friendly, but I kept so much to myself and never really connected with too many people. Now days, I’m more receptive of reaching out and touching other people’s souls. It’s beautiful on how much more I care for my fellow traveler.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

Categories: projects, Weight Loss JourneyTags: , , , , , ,

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