Sometimes We Fail, and Sometimes We Succeed

So this week turned into a week that had both ups and downs when it came to my progress in life. I was trying to get a promotion at work, and it got denied. I was told that I was very close to passing the interview and test process, yet I came up short. While I had a very common response from co-workers about the results, I feel that the blame was to be put on my shoulders.

I was talked too, and advised on ways to improve and I could apply again in six months. The truth is, I feel that I was just stuck too much in my head, and my confidence wasn’t where it needed to be. The interview was different from any other type of interview that I’ve ever had. Couple that, with the fact that I hadn’t really had an interview for anything in about a decade, I just wasn’t quite ready for what was ahead of me.

I’m not taking this as something negative, because it just goes to show that I need to work on presenting myself better for the next time. I’m also going to reach out and look for other options that might be out there. All I do know is that it’s time for me to really start looking for something that would provide me with a better income while I work on my brands.

I wasn’t going to let that bit of news dictate my week, instead I had some fantastic news in the form of a non-scale victory. I decided to purchase an extra-large, shirt to have something to work towards in my weight loss journey. The best part is that it fit really well. I mean it hasn’t even been two years since my surgery, and I’ve gone from a five-x in shirts, to an extra-large. I’ve also gone from a three-x in athletic shorts, and I can fit into a large. All this in just about a year-and-a-half.

This news has put a positive feeling in my life, and I’m carrying it as far as I can. I seem to be maintaining weight at 260, and as of now I’m okay with that. I’m still moving down somewhere at least. How my clothes are fitting is just as important as the numbers on the scale.

I still have to set an important appointment with my doctor about setting up a date to get my extra skin removed. The last appointment I had, the doctor said that it’s probably about twenty-pounds of skin to remove. Twenty-pounds? That’s crazy! My only issues about it is this; the unsightly scar that will be left, and the pain.

I know the scar issue seems a bit small, I mean who’s going to actually see me without a shirt on, except in my house? I know that it’s a bit of a vanity thing, and they do say that ego get in the way of smart choices. Still, I’ve got more than enough scars to last me a life time. Everything from surgical scars, to acne, keloids, and stretch marks. I’m gonna do it still because it is twenty-pounds.

The second issue I have is the pain that comes with recovery of the surgery. I have someone that I currently follow on Instagram just go through the skin removal process, and I’m watching and waiting to see how her process goes. I’m sure going to reach out to her and ask her questions as she progresses along. I’ve heard people say that it’s about one of the worst pains in regards to recovery. I hope that I’m not going to get in my head that way.

If there was anything that I learned from this week, is that I have a wonderful support system. As for the job, my co-workers  gave their reactions, and the next response was, what kind of help do I need to get me to that promotion status. This last year at my job has renewed my faith in my fellow man. I’ve been able to connect, and make better friends with them.

I know that most people look at work as a way to make money, and that they aren’t there to make “friends”. While I some what agree with that, it helps if you can get along with them. It makes the monotony of the day go by easier. I’ve been in spots that co-workers would rather back stab people to get themselves farther up the ladder. I’ve been “thrown under the bus” too many times to count.

I don’t know if it’s because my own attitude has changed, but I’m truly amazed by all the support I’ve gotten over the last few years. I find that my biggest obstacle in anything is myself. There are times that my insecurity issues sabotage my success, but that doesn’t happen as much as it used too. Having control over the way I react to things is liberating to say the least.

Anyway, that about sums up this little piece of mind. This is the director and that’s a wrap.

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