Grieve For Your Sanity

The world is going to test you. As it were, God is going to test you, if you believe in such things. The ironic part of that is that when you get tested, it’s usually unexpected, and you’ll probably already have a billion and a half things going on as it were already.

Then life also gets in the way, and you sometimes lose the path you tried to set for yourself. I’ve done that a few times. Most recently in fact. With so many things that get thrown at you in life, it’s not hard to lose focus on what’s important. John Lennon said it best in his song Beautiful Boy, “Life is what happens to you, while you’re busy making other plans.” How beautifully true that statement is.

I think that’s part of what makes life both great, and frustrating. You save up to buy something nice, then your car breaks down, so that’s where the money goes. Yes, I’ve been in this situation many times, and it sucks. Yet, there are times, you might back into someone, and find the love of your life. As I look back on life, it’s a remarkable journey.

I never anticipated where having the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy¬†would take me. All I knew was that it was something that was going to help me lose weight, and I wouldn’t hurt as much. The amount of positivity that I’ve received from people, the growth of my mental, and physical wellbeing, has taken me aback. This process has been a sanity check at times as well.

I’m sure the question of if the surgery did so well, why would you have to check your sanity during this positive journey? Well, it’s because there are bumps in every journey. Being a human, with doubts and insecurities, tend to be the biggest hurtle. When you grow up and get told that you weren’t good enough, and you didn’t deserve things; that kind of stuff sticks with you. Being over-weight for so long, and having limited movement, my mind also tells me that I can’t do it. That’s something that reminds me of the cliche, “You’re your own worst enemy.”

This all comes down to keeping yourself in check and remembering that it’s all a mental game, and the things that happen, are only a small portion of your reality, and that the rest is made up of how you react to them. As an example, I have a friend or two, that tend to act like life is out to get them. The truth is after hearing their stories, I look at the situation, and think that it doesn’t usually sound as bad as they make it out to be. Again it’s not always easy to explain, as ego tends to get in people’s way. Just look at the current group of people who are running our country, and you can see the examples of what I mean.

It’s insane to think that life is completely out of our hands to control. To go “religious”, that is why God gave us free will. Keep in mind that whatever does happen, it’s all about trying to keep ourselves in check and mentally prepared.

While it doesn’t always work, attempt to take the time and stand back to reflect on the situation, sometimes that’s all anyone needs. Even if that means that it’s for the next time a similar situation occurs.

I think the most sane thing to do is to continue to grow, to strive to become a better version of the person we are right now. It is so easy to get complacent, and to blame other things or people, then it is too point out our own faults. Those are toxic traits that I’ve seen in people around me. Hell, I’ve learned to see some of those traits in myself. This is something that I’ve been trying to purge out of my own self. I know that I’ve grown, especially over the last five years, but I also realize that there are things that I need to continue to work on.

Things that I didn’t think I could do, have shown me differently. The way I react to some situations, has surprised me, when I’ve been put in the situation. One of my bigger issues is that fact that I’m constantly in self-doubt. This hurtle is something I have a long way to over come. It’s just not the mountain that it once was.

This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

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