Today was the real test….. After six weeks of being off of work I went back and put on my uniform. While I’ve noticed some changes in my body, and the movement I have, this was the real test, my uniform, which I have worn for the last ten years, showed me where I am physically. It’s huge on me, and I haven’t felt that way in a long time. It was amazing to feel that I’ve lost several pounds, and several inches. The pants make me feel like the Genie in Aladdin. That’s an accomplishment since over a month ago, things were a bit tight on me.
I came home and took a nap, but not because the day was hard, but because I couldn’t fall asleep until after eleven-forty. That doesn’t sound too bad, until you put into the context that I had to be up at four in the morning. At least when I did fall asleep, it was heavy, and nice. I think that getting back into a schedule is going to be good for me, even if I have to get up at four in the freaking morning. Three-thirty for those days I have to open busier spots. Have I mentioned how I hate getting up before six? True story.
Now, today ended up being kind of an easy day because we had more than enough coverage to man the spots that I work, and it was nice to have that for a first day back. As the day progressed, I saw many people who’ve been following my weight loss journey, and it was nice to be welcomed back. It was nicer to be told that I was looking good(and yes the ego feels satisfied). I’m trying to measure how many steps I take while at work so that I can do the math on my ten thousand steps, that I’m supposed to get in a day, also something that I haven’t quite made yet. At least my body held up, and standing for hours didn’t hurt so bad.
As the point that I made yesterday, I’m a different person, both physically, and mentally. I’m standing straighter, and I’m keeping a good attitude. Some days I think that it’s going to be hard to think that I will be, but at least it was a familiar feeling. Muscle memory maybe? All I know is that the routine, is going to help me get back the focus that I need. I think the saddest part of work is that most of the people I have become close to have left. Yes, I still have a few people that I really like, but my closest of friends have gone on to better things(which I’m proud of).
I’m going to take a week or two before I really start pushing myself and going to the gym after work, I feel that I just want to get back to used to standing for the long hours in the day before I decide to “kill” myself in the gym. I’m not trying to hurt myself, and I don’t want to do any internal damage, because of the staples in my stomach. I’m looking forward to dropping the next fifty pounds though. That would put me at a weight that I haven’t been since my almost seventeen year old was born.
At least I’m not allowing food to cope with my emotions. Yes, I still like to eat, but it’s no longer the same relationship that I once had with it. Life’s going to get more interesting and enjoyable this year. I plan on keeping up with getting the life I actually do deserve, both for me, and for my family.
This is the director, and that’s a wrap.