Not This Night

I’m sitting here and it’s about a half hour until Christmas is over. I have my two week check up at night-fortyfive in the morning and I can’t seem to get my mind to shut off. I would love to say that it was because I had such an awesome day that the adrenaline is still kicking, but it’s not. Now, I’m not saying that today was a bad day, being Christmas and all, we did the routine in going to my parent’s house, and watching the kids enjoy their presents. It just felt average.

Nash Gray premiered this morning, and I think the viewing seemed to go alright for a first day out. I wish the views were tripled, but I’m not going to complain, and I hope more people end up finding it and liking it. With what reviews that I did get, people seemed to like it, and for that I’m glad. I’m happy to have been able to finally get my first real production out, and now I’m already of thinking of the documentaries that I’m working on and the short that I should be filming in February. It’s the short that I think might be on my mind currently. I’m thinking about story boards, and maybe fixing up some dialogue so that the story has a bit of a more complete feel to it. I remember writing it and having a bit of things implied because it was supposed to be a short of around seven minutes.  I’m eager to get this one reshot and out of the way, as I have some people that I’m already committing too to tell their story. People are interesting to say the least.

Going back to the weight loss journey though, I’m not nervous or anything about the appointment, but to say that I feel monumentally different would be an overstatement. I notice that fat that seemed to block my movements is gone, and that I move better, and the scale says that I’ve lost weight, but I don’t really feel different. More conscious about how  I eat for sure, and eating too fast tells on me. I just don’t feel so different, and I’m sure it’s just a phase.

I’ve been reading people on a Facebook Sleeve support page and I see so many different experiences about the surgery. I think the common one I’m seeing is the last minute jitters, after all I had those same feelings. It’s the end journey that is going to be good, once the fat is gone and life has changed, I think I’ll look back and say that it was worth it. I don’t want to think that I feel depressed because my habits have been forced to change so much.

I think that the unknown is what’s been getting me down, and it’s not about the weight loss journey anymore, but more about when I get that better job, and the bills that I’m going to be paying on for a very long time. I just need to tell myself that good things come to those who wait, and I’ve been working towards those good things for a long time now. I’m just glad that my depression isn’t like it was before, I do know that I’ll make it out of this just fine. There’s just a lot of reflection going on with me.

Maybe that’s another reason I’m starting to focus more on the next project….that seems to give me a bit of satisfaction knowing that I’m going to be creating something. So much to do, and now that I have a bit more free time, I need to get on some other projects started besides the movies. I think I’m going to test out some of my new equipment for pod casting this week and maybe bring in the new year with a new pod cast show, though I’m thinking of doing a few different ones as it is.

I’m finally getting somewhere in life that I want to be, and I hope that everyone who wants to, joins in watching the growth and creativity come out. This is the director and that’s a wrap. P.S. if you haven’t seen it yet, here is the link to Nash Gray https://youtu.be/881V4iLEhAY. If you like it, give it a like and subscribe to the channel, it’s still new, but more content will be added as soon as things get up and running more so than it is now.

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