Strange Feelings

I’m loving the way my body feels. It doesn’t fee like I have a large clump of fat getting in the way every time I move, and I seem to be moving much easier too. I’m looking forward to seeing what potential my body is going to allow me to have in the next few months, and it’s not really that far away.

I’ve noticed that I’ve had to be mindful on how I treat my body. Even some of my soups have some solid pieces, and I’m having to make sure I chew the pieces up until they are smashed down until about nothing. I could never imagine myself being so mindful before about food.

I’ve said it in a few blogs before, and as I’m having those feelings now, I think that I need to address them. I’ve been having a weird case of depression off and on since my surgery. It’s probably because my body is changing, but it’s still there, and it kind of haunts me a bit. This isn’t a life threatening depression, good lord knows that I’ve been down that ally a few times, but it just comes a me in spurts throughout some of my day. I think that I’m doing okay with it, but it feels odd to have these slight feelings come up at inconvenient times.

This is a discipline, both of the body and the mind. That’s what the change for weight loss is all about. You have to treat your body and mind with equal amounts of love, and that’s not always the easy thing to do. My mind is what got me through that first week. My body was in pain and it wasn’t thinking clearly enough to say if something was the right decision or not. Well, at least I haven’t wanted to quit or anything like that yet. Though if you ask me, I wouldn’t do this again, or at least at this moment, I’m not completely sure the ends justify the means yet. Though it is still early in the process.

I’m feeling a difference and that is what counts. I can’t wait to be closer to my goal weight, it would be nice to be smaller than what I ended up being my sophomore year in high school. I can’t wait until my body matched my mental image of myself, I think that I will be most happy at that prospect in life.

This is the director and that’s a wrap.

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