3 Days To Go

I had to be early into work yesterday. I got up at three and had to be to work at four. I’m not going to lie, I hate getting up that early, but I do what must be done. I was going to be in the boonies for about eleven hours, so there was no real contact with the normal world or cell service. As much as I say that work goes by fast on a ten hour schedule, yesterday dragged on.

When I got home, I relaxed, ate my liquid dinner, enjoyed Netflix with the family. I went to bed at eight-forty at night. This is an unusual practice for me, because I usually can’t get to bed before ten. That’s how my body operates. Even when I have to be to work at four, I still hit bed about ten. I run off of about five hours sleep most days that I work.

About five this morning I’m up, and I’m taking  care of business for graduation, plus I decided that since I didn’t blog last night, I would come on here and give an update on how I’m doing, and how the weight loss journey is going. Plus I figured that maybe my thoughts would come out through my fingers as I type because I’m not really sure how I feel about things right now.

I don’t think that I’m scared, I know that this is a common surgery and that there are less complications than other surgeries. Hell, I’ve even joked about being bummed that I might miss Star Wars: The Last Jedi on opening weekend. I’ve joked even more that when I get back to work that I will be less of a man then people see now.

The truth of the matter is…. I’m uncertain how things will go. I know that life has been throwing me a whole lot of good lately, and I want to say that this is going to be one of those good things, but nothing is certain. It’s not like I’m afraid that I’m going to die, or anything like that, though I accepted the concept of death long ago. I’m just unsure of what changes are coming.

One of those things that I’ve read online was that the taste buds change. So, what is it that’s going to change for mine? What about the loose skin? Will I be able to accept these changes? I’ve got a game plan, and I’ve been working on other aspects of my life that I think the weight loss, even as superficial as it is, is going to better me professionally. I’ve also read that sex improves(who doesn’t want that, right?), but will it inflate my ego?Something that I’ve always had to compensate for the fact that I’ve been larger my whole life, with few skinny moments.

I feel that positive things will keep happening for the good, and I think that’s the way I should set out taking life, but the unknown is scary, and exciting both at the same time. The only thing that I’m not looking forward to is the pain and the recovery. I’m handling the liquid diet so far, and I know that I’m about to go to the clear liquids for the next month or so. Well, I guess that means no Christmas goodies for me this year, and no birthday cake for my thirty-ninth birthday in January, but I’m not too heart broken about that.

Keep following me as I continue this adventure, because I want people to know what it’s like going through this, just incase this option comes across their laps as well.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

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