Aw Man, What Was I Thinking

I’m glad the I decided to start my own production company. I love being my own boss, but a the same time, I’m looking to go out there and work for other people. Especially since I want the experience so that I can become a better filmmaker in my own right. I’ve gotten the chance to pick with kinds of projects that I work on, and this has been the most fun experience that I’ve had as a professional. There are days though that seem like they might just be too much.

Because I decided to go on in this business venture, it’s not been the easiest of choices. Now as I come to the closing chapters of my schooling and getting that degree, I’ve come to the point where I need to start focusing on becoming a business person as well. There have been challenges in this aspect, and I’m contemplating decisions that I might not like making, but it comes with the territory.

The other part of this is the fact that “anything worth doing, is never easy”. What truth that quote holds. You try and do the right thing, say like adopt a child in need. That’s difficult in and of itself. Deciding on a major career change, is a challenge when you’ve been doing something for so long, that is all you feel you’re qualified for.  Being in love and making that work, is not always the easiest thing to do either. Yet, there are reason’s that drive us to do these things.

Weight loss surgery is something else I’ve decided on, because being a person who feels trapped in a body that I didn’t bargain for is how I feel. I can’t move as much as I like, I hate the way I look in pictures, and I don’t like that all the clothes I can wear are expensive as hell. I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror. So, I have a very negative look on my own self image, and I hide it with an over confident attitude. It’s worked for me so far, and I know that charisma is something I do have.

I also know that these decisions that I’v made in the last few years are going to put me in a financial spot that I’m going to have to overcome, but I have faith that I will, because that’s always been the story of my life. I’ve got to have that drive to keep going, because I’ve got responsibilities, and that drive is always good for the artist. Yes, it may mean that I have to put that much extra work to get there, but I’ll do what I must.

So, this is my determination: I’m going to lose the weight and change my life style to maintain the weight loss. I’m going to do everything in my power to become the best damn filmmaker that I can. I’ll go ahead and do what I can to learn from professionals and craft my trade of choice. I can’t just let the haters win, who said that I needed to get real and go get a “practical job”. I need to get that career that betters my station and ignore the comments of being a part of the “hamburger brothers”.

I’m going to do this so that I can show my kids that it’s not bad to want something and work hard for it. I’ve always been able to make friends, and have some of the best people believe in me, so I don’t want to disappoint them, and I want to show them my gratitude for being the supports they are. I want to be able to provide better for my family because we should have to feel trapped in a situation that needs growth. I want to let my loved one’s know that I do love them, and I want to be there for them. I want to feel like a better person than I sometimes do.

While there are good things, I know that I’ve had many negative people come into my life and plant those seeds of doubt. I’m here to send them all away because all they’ve ever done was motivate me even more. Drive me more, make me successful, that’s what I want. I do what I have to, in both survival, and supporting my family. I will prevail.

This is the director and that is a wrap. https://igg.me/at/ZmRcVWz8R24/x/17178142 Support this.

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