Did you ever feel like you get in the way of your own success? I know I have, but have you ever stopped and wonder why? I think deep down inside, we face a bit of fear. What if we obtain success? How will it change us? How will it change the way other’s perceive us? At what cost does success come?
This is my thought process on it-yes I’m partially afraid of how things will change, but at the same time I’m excited for the adventure that comes with it. The thought of doing what I love brings me a sense of completion, and a sense of purpose. I have no doubts that being a filmmaker was something I was born to do. I’ve always had a great joy in being creative and this is the ultimate outlet that let’s me do it. As I’ve gone through these classes, I’ve discovered that I enjoy the writing process, which I had been on that journey for several years now, but I do enjoy it.
I embrace the chance to get out of the normalcy of a settled life, and I don’t hesitate on feeling excited about going to work. I wonder how this might change things between my family and myself, because movie making is a demanding thing that takes so much hard work to be good at and successful. Could they stand me being away, filming while it’s the holidays? Or even a birthday? Will they be with me while we film? Are they going to want to join in on this kind of work? All I know is that while I want to have my own production company, I do still want to work on my craft in the highly competitive world of high budget filmmaking. I would love to work on a Fox, Warner Bros. or Disney movie. As my passions of superheroes and geek culture run hot in my veins, I would love to be involved with a Star Wars movie.
I’m glad that I’ve been blessed with a supportive group of friends and family, they all are amazing with the encouragement and praise. What if that changes with my success? Part of me really wants to put the nay sayers in their place by doing what they said was impossible. What if my friends end up envious because of my said success and they decide to hate me? These questions continually run through my mind, but it wouldn’t be the first time that I was “hated on”. I’ve got a personality that you either love, or you absolutely hate. I’ve felt the negative pull of hatred and bias; being the fat kid with a loud mouth tends to do that. That is the way it gets when I also have a strong work moral. I’m not afraid to tell someone no, just because they want to have things their way. It doesn’t work that way.
I guess being successful shouldn’t be a fearful thing, I’m ornery enough to put nay sayers in their place. This is what is going to drive me, because my success is on my own accord and not placed on the people who would want to bring me down. I know in the end, my family is going to support me because part of the reason that I do these things is so that I can do better for my family. That and the fact that doing this has helped me with my depression in ways that I can’t even describe.
I just wanted to post a little thing on what’s been on my mind lately, as will a billion other things. This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.