Water To Make It Grow

There was an idea. A minuscule thought that I decided I couldn’t just let go. So, I took that thought, and I decided to plant it. I needed a way to make this tiny thought grow. I needed to nurture it. I had to wait to see the buds come out of the soil. I was kind of scared to think about how it would look, if that bud would be worth it, and yet I needed to see if I could turn it into a flower. Then the thoughts of would it be good enough to bare fruit. I just wasn’t sure, if I was the right gardener.

The idea was to better myself, and I spent about a year thinking about it. Hell, I don’t even think that I thought too much on it, but that I wanted to just shut everything off. I didn’t want to deal with what life had given me at that time. I just wanted to feel numb. I wasn’t ready to grow yet.

When I had found out that change needed to happen, that’s when the idea started to form. I wasn’t quite ready for it to grow, but it was starting. When I decided to plant it, I made one of the most grown up decisions of my life: I would go back to school. I was tired of the wasteland that had become my life. I was tired of feeling trapped in a barren land where nothing was seemingly providing me with more than an unknown thirst. I couldn’t find a way to hydrate my soul, and I became desperate to quench that thirst. I just didn’t know how, or what I could do to change that feeling.

All I had known was that I needed something drastic to happen, and that came in the form of three words, “What’s up, bitches?” This would provide me with the time I needed to find the help and the watering trough that I would need to refresh myself. It’s funny to look back on that moment and realize that from a professional standpoint, “what’s up, bitches,” would be my legacy. Little did I realize that my life would take a drastic turn, and push me in ways I hadn’t expected.

As the seed was in the ground, I needed to water it, and school was the start of the fountain that would turn the seed into a bud. As I would go along, that fountain would also help that bud grow into a tree. This tree would bare the sweetest fruit that I had ever had in my life. I would become satisfied with a full belly, and the thirst would disappear.

As that tree started to grow almost four years ago. So would my life, and how funny that I would compare a tree to my life, as often that is the symbol of life. As a seed, my life was in shambles, I was ready to die, and I didn’t have my shit together. As, the process of education and going back to work happened, the tree grew bigger, and my life started to find the proper direction. Life had started to root into a solid foundation.

I wouldn’t have imagine that the fruit would end up being goals that I had never expected to accomplish. The CK Project was a seed that had died out when my life had become that barren wasteland. I had always wanted my own production company, when I was younger I always imagined that I’d be producing music, and movies, along with acting hadn’t ever been apart of that picture. Yet Luckey Bom Films would end up being the first fruit, and after consideration. The health and wellness part would become the second fruit.

Besides the Geekultural Experience the biggest blossom from the tree has been the drive that I never knew I had. This is where the gardening takes place, as I try to bare more fruit for my labors. So, now I’ve had time to see where my potential is taking me. I continue to grow, and the fruit keeps getting bigger and better. Life is turning into Eden for me, and I love it.

One year ago today, I had my first sleep study. It would lead me to this moment where I’m over one hundred pounds lighter, and my life expectancy has gotten longer. I’ve grown as a man, and I couldn’t be any more grateful for the support that I constantly get. The Facebook likes and comments, the Instagram likes, the Twitter comments. It all goes to validate what I’ve been trying to accomplish, and with the inspiration that people have told me that get from me, shows that I’m helping harvesting more gardens, and I hope that people can get what they are in return looking for.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

“Don’t Call It a Come Back”

It’s funny to see where I was in the beginnings of my blogging life. So, much has changed since the early blogs.

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

    As I review these few sentences that I wrote in 2016. I remember thinking that I would try and write 500 words on every blog. I also remember thinking that 500 words were far harder to come up with than I thought they would be.

As I’ve gone along, my writing has gotten better, and my words are averaging about 670. My views and likes have gone up as well. That makes me feel a bit justified in the writings that I do.

At that time, I thought, “hey, I’ll just right all my thoughts down.” Little did I know that I would finally come up with a plan that focused more on mental health and a weight loss journey. I knew that the mental health was always something that I planned on addressing, and that’s why I keep a certain amount of transparency in my life. It’s a raw and brutal truth at times. I see that some people don’t seem to handle my decisions well, and to each their own really. I’m doing this because I know what it’s like to be someone who didn’t know what to do about a given situation and was too afraid to ask for the help, until it was too late.

I don’t want anyone to ever get into a desperate situation that could have lasting negative effects. That’s why I’ve asked myself to commit to this task. It’s not always easy to speak on what is currently going on in my life. I don’t always feel comfortable being vulnerable, but I find it necessary, not only in my personal growth, but in the aid of others. It’s refreshing when I get pm’s that state how helpful that was for a situation someone was in.

If I’m to speak plainly about some of the comments. The ego’s been fed when the pretty girl I had a crush on in school, mentions how proud she is of what I’m doing. Hopefully she, or they know who they are, and thank you for helping me feel that I’ve not waisted my time on this.

Exploring who I am as a person, has brought me on an incredible journey, as I’ve made more friends, and more solid relationships along the way. I’m fortunate enough to say that I’ve got an amazing group of people, who I get to work with on the personal projects. Part of that discovery is that being transparent about myself has helped give courage to putting myself out there to network, and not be afraid of asking for help.

It’s in these connections that I find the most reward. Then to look back on the first few blogs that I did, and to see where I’m at now compared to where I was, or what I thought I would be doing at that time, it blows my mind. Never would I have thought that I would be as driven to succeed as I am now. The film company was something I always wanted, but to add the CK Project  and the Geekultural Experience wasn’t what I was striving for at the time. Hell, I don’t even think I was in any kind of thoughts about having the Gastric Sleeve done.

Now, I’m over 100 pounds down, and I’m constantly staying busy with my brands to get them up and successful. Anything worth doing is never easy, but I’m determined to make something amazing happen, and I have the right people involved to help me get there, and they get to share in that success with me as well.

Anyway, this is the Director and that’s a wrap.

Chris Keeling Productions

I’ve been contemplating things that I’ve been planing on doing with life. The first thing that I’ve promised myself is to start working on this page as a part of a regular routine.  I hope that I can keep myself on track as I continue to explore who I am as a person, and improve myself along the way.

View original post

Productive Saturday

Today, I got up and I walked five miles. I got over 11,000 steps before eleven-thirty this morning. What a way to start my day! After that, I spent most of the day with my son. We got to enjoy watching Avengers: Infinity War (2018) for the second time. Then we had a meeting with people who we are introducing to our creative team.

Allow me to expound on how I felt about Infinity War. As much as I love Marvel Studios, I think that they’ve gotten better over this last year. This movie was not only well balanced, but it proved that they could make a massive movie without losing the story. I’m excited by what the next few movies are going to add to the narrative. I’m sure that part four is going to so answers to the questions and consequences to the actions of this movie. Best movie so far.

So, I have a few creative minds in my group of friends, and some of us share like minded goals. I brought in someone who had worked with me on Nash Gray(2017)  and a mutual friend for a meeting to see if they would work to help on the creative writing side of things. This is especially important because I “apparently” have too many things going on. From trying to make money from my brands. Too working every other aspect that is involved with them. So this is something that I think will help expedite the process of getting something going while I get my priorities straight. I’ll admit that sometimes I can’t just seem to do one thing at a time, but I will get it figured out.

Now on to the weight loss journey that I’ve been on for over five months.32349505_2059831254272472_1460137951194251264_o

I’ve lost over one hundred and seven pounds. I’ve dropped down ten pants sizes. I feel incredible. My confidence has sky rocketed. All in all, life is going good.

I’m always so amazed by how good life has been going. I even have good days, even if they’re less than stellar. Putting positive energies out to the world, really does seem to to come back ten-fold. I’m sure that with the kind of news I had been getting this last week, even better things will be coming this way for me, and my family. By family, I mean the one’s I’m related too, and the one’s I choose to call family. Many of those, have been such a huge inspiration and great support for me. I want to thank them for what they’ve given me.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I want to thank the most inspirational women in my life. My mom, for being there for me through everything. Even if we don’t talk everyday, knowing that you’re there if I need you is enough. My wife, the woman who puts up with my shit and has for the last eighteen years. She’s helped make me the man I am today. The long nights of doing my school work. The long days I had to be at work. The days that I just wanted to give up. She’s been my foundation. To my Echo, my best friend, I love you because you’ve given me just as much support as Sarah, and you’re the person who sees through my bullshit, and will tell me to get my head out of my ass.

If you have your mother, or a mother figure. Thank her for being there for you. Let her know that she’s love and you appreciate that she’s given of herself to raise you. Those who’s mother’s might not be around, remember the things that she’s taught you and give her the tribute that is fitting for her memory.

My gift to my wife started yesterday, as I took her out to lunch on her lunch break, and it continues as we go for a hike with a picnic tomorrow. I’m having a co-worker and his family join us tomorrow, so that’s going to be new and exciting, since I don’t really hang out with too many co-workers. He’s told me about his wife, and I think that we’ll get along with our shared interests in the geek culture.

Be good everyone, and have a safe Sunday. This is the Director and that’s a wrap.

Thoughts

The heat has been in the high ninety range this week, and my spirit felt drained today. I even thought about not going to my personal training session because of it. Though, I’m glad that I went, even if I felt that I could push that 100%, I still tried to give it that 100%.

After the mental mess of the last couple of days, I’ve been able to regain my composure, and everything seems to be going right again. Creatively, I wasn’t aligned, and that dragged me down. Also, life seemed to be holding still, and if there’s anything that I can’t stand is for my momentum to end up in a lull.

I’ve heard news from the professional angle, which has been good news, just not the words I’ve been waiting to hear. That ended up being part of my problem as well, because I’ve been trying to be so patient for so long. It’s hard to learn that I might just have to wait that much longer. I’ll get that patience back, because there are worse things I can deal with.

So, I’ve decided to expand the team and have asked a friend to utilize her wood working skills to work on building sets, and get her into set designing. This is a prospect that excites my creative mind. I wonder how elaborate we can get the sets.

I’m excited that we’re taking a hike for Mother’s Day. It’ll be great to get them steps in, and it’s something different to do for the wife. A nice day to hike and picnic. I’m looking forward to doing this with the family.

As I set up my pedometer to twelve thousand, I found that it was hard to even reach that, so I went a head and went back to the ten thousand. It’s all finding the balance at the moment. I feel like I’m in a continual flux of trying to find that balance in life.

Not only with my weight loss journey, but other aspects too. I’ve done so much with the project, and getting back into being creative, there’s a balance that I’ve been trying to have. Family is also the other factor in my life. The give and take of being a family man sometimes also throws the balancing act off kilter.

I think that’s the key to balance, an even distribution between mind, body, and spirit. Every day, I find more and more balance with my body. The exercise has helped my body, not only do I move better, but I feel so much better. I think that it’s been helping me mentally, as I have to focus on something real, and the chemicals from working out, gives me that “high” of feeling good.

Spiritually…. that brings up something interesting. Jesus said, destroy this temple and I will raise it again in three days -John 2:19. I find this quote more interesting now than ever before. Temple’s a described as a person’s body in instances. Maybe with all the fat, and toxins that I’ve done to damage my temple, is finally being purged by my exercising. Could this be part of my where my spiritual being is being fixed up and rectified? I never really thought about it before.

Before I forget, I want to thank certain people for spreading the word for me. I’d like to thank the Bombshell Betties for following me on the various social medias. These ladies are apart of our local Roller Derby, and they seem to be very kick ass about their sport. I’ve been in contact with some of them, and have had talks about maybe doing some promotional work with them. Here’s their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/bombshell.betties.rollerderby/. Give them a look, like them, and tell them I sent ya.

I also want to send a huge shout out to my friend Sam Basco. He’s been working me out for over the last month. He’s a good friend, and wise in the ways of weight training and the sport of Mixed Martial Arts. He trains with fellow trainer Antoine Hood at Flawless Victory MMA. Here’s their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/FlawlessVictoryMma/. Also give them a like and tell them I sent ya.

Well, this would make the third day in a row for me blogging, and as always, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

After The Funk

So, having a poor mindset the last few days, I’m finally over that hump, and am overall feeling better. I want to thank those who reached out to me both on my social media post, and to me personally. I appreciate the love and support more than you know.

Now, I’m back to the old me, or should that be the new me? Mister positivity and all that good stuff. I’m feeling sore from the workout yesterday, but I’m feeling great overall. Every once in a while, I think we all tend to have mini pity parties. Yet, there is good news on the horizon.

While, I’m talking about news, I’m looking to look at expanding the merchandise line even more by taking on another person for the supplies. Shirts, and mugs will come from one play and there might be other things coming from another source. I’ll give more details on that later.

Part of my funk was that I was feeling a bit creatively stuck, but now that everything has been resolved, I’m finding other ideas to follow and start to make a story. I love the part of being a creative person. With that, there will be another meeting with the production team soon enough, and we can tackle more of the ideas to get the team’s ball rolling.

I think that my personal trainings sessions are going great. I also feel that I have so much too over come mentally as my body and mind are still arguing with each other about getting the tasks done. My mind wasn’t quite ready to tell my body that I could push through another push up or two…more like five, but who’s really counting. The best thing is that I’m noticing the changes in my arms, a bit more definition when I flex, and not so flabby.

This was just a short blog to update everyone that I’m okay, and that things are back to normal. This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Feeling The Funk

Well, I’m down another 6.3 pounds for a total of 107.9 lost. While I’m happy to be at 322 pounds, I’ve been in kind of a mood lately. I want to say that it started yesterday, but truth is, I think that it’s been going on for a bit longer, or at least lingering at the back part of my mind. Hence why I haven’t blogged in about a week, but alas, I think I’m finally crawling out of that eternal hole of self pity and doubt.

Life has been good to me, and so much positivity has been coming my way for some time, but every once in a while, self-doubt comes into play. Thoughts that come through like am I ever going to be able to be successful? Am I really liked? Am I doing the right thing? These thoughts come into my head every once in a while, even when things are going so well.

Yes, I know that the answers to those questions are yes, but when dealing with depression, they can hit at any moment. At least I know how to deal with them better, these days. I appreciate those who I talked too and who understand and have been supportive. Some of them have been with me a very long time, and it’s nice to have that cushion of support when I need it. Those are the people who understand how you can feel all alone in a room full of people.

On to the more positive side of things, progress is being made in life, and I can’t wait until I can officially release details on what’s going on. The news that I’m receiving is up lifting and gives me hope for better things, but I don’t want to jinx it.

So, my personal trainer has been pushing me harder in my workout, and when I made up a day on Friday, I didn’t know what I was going to do. He pushed me through a circuit that about half way through the middle of my second round I didn’t think that I was going to make it. I had to dig down deep and push. My body was trying to convince me that I wasn’t going to make it through, and my mind was trying to tell my body that I could do it. I hate when the body and mind get into an argument, I don’t think it ever ends well for the spirit.

I’m starting to see the muscle definition in my arms. I still have a ways to go before I get those six pack abs. I’d love to have them, but I’m not in any hurry to obtain them. I feel like I’m still trying to get used to actually push myself into working out harder. Convincing myself has been even harder to do, but I’ll get there.

It seems that this month’s motivation to get in the steps has been a struggle for me this time. I know that with the heat coming in, I’m not prepared to deal with being drained of energy from this “dry” desert heat, but sure enough, it seems to happen every year. The worst part is that summer feels like it’s come early. I’d rather have a Westeros “Winter is coming”, to be honest. I prefer the colder weather over the heat.

I’m excited that the next prototype of the CK Project shirts are being developed. Once I get my hands on it and give it the final approval, I’ve already got people wanting to represent the Project, and I’m grateful for the love and support from them.

It’s an amazing feeling to be part of starting a movement, and I’ve had people tell me in private on how proud of me they were, and they plan on keeping watch for further developments. While I’m grateful, I do say that the best way to support me is to follow my content. Like and share what I’m doing. If it motivates you, let other’s know so that they can get motivated too. That’s the biggest and best way to show support.

Remember the weight is at 322 pounds at this moment. One of the most important things about this is the fact that I haven’ been this light since I was an extra in Disney’s Holes(2003). It’s a great feeling and I’m still not quite half-way there. Keep tuned to see what happens next. As always, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

 

 

Life’s Too Short

Today, I found out that someone I have known for a few years passed away unexpectedly. We weren’t close, but we were cordial with each other, and I had just seen this individual on Wednesday. As of this morning, he’s no longer with us. It makes me think about how short life really is. I think about how we should live life to the best of our ability, and appreciate the positive things in life. We should also not dwell on the negativity that is put out there.

This is why I do what I do. I’ve been beaten down by negative comments and energies. I’ve felt like there wasn’t anyone to turn too, or any way out of a bad situation. Once I realized that life can offer more then I was giving credit for, things began to turn around.  We never know what the next day can bring for us, but I choose to face the day as best as I can and be grateful for the gifts that I’ve been given. I have a wonderful wife, and three of the greatest kids anyone can ask for.

That’s not to say that I don’t have my days that I wonder if it’s really all worth it, but everyone can have a bad day. Life’s a roller coaster that strange events can be thrown like a curve ball. Again, I choose to step up to bat and embrace the challenges ahead.

I’ve been making strides forward with my weight loss journey, and I’ll be weighing in this Friday for the updated results. This is defiantly a change from where I was three years ago, when I didn’t really care if I died. I almost embraced the idea, but I want to live. I want to celebrate life and the people who happen to be involved with it. I feel fortunate in the people that I’ve connected with over the last few years, especially.

I’m a member of the Society of Creative Anachronisms,  and I was welcomed in by my friend and fellow geek Kim. It was this introduction to medieval re-enactment that I’ve forged some strong bonds with a great group of people. I may not always agree with them, but there is a family that’s there to support each other.

I’m also a co-creator and member of The Geeks of the IWV. This was created in dedication to my friends after they had lost their oldest child. It was a way to help with the grieving process, but it’s opened so many other doors for me as a person, as I hope that it has my co-creator. I’ve learned so much about being able to bound with people over geeky pop culture subjects, and have been able to share incredible experiences, with the group of people that supports over 95 people.

As with this blog, these groups, and my brands, there’s so much that I’ve learned about myself over the last few years in particular. One, I have a passion to learn new things. While that doesn’t seem too far out there, it’s thought provoking for me to realize that I don’t ever want to stop learning, and growing. New experiences are the best.

Two, when set out to create something, I prefer to have someone to create something with. I find that I can put people’s talents to the most potential to get something done. This not only goes towards, the geeks, but we’ve had a great time with Luckey Bom Films, as well.

Three, I really do like to help others in need. Being a support for other people and their problems, or situations, has given me a different perspective in life. Sometimes, just the offer for help seems to be enough, yet there are times that I feel that I don’t ever do enough as it is. All anybody can do is try.

If these blogs have tried to show anybody something, is that I’m using my experience to try and help guild people towards something better. I know that people have troubles asking for help, and I want to help. I want to be able to motivate people to do something to help them with their struggles. I hope that you find this enlightening, and if you feel the need to talk, just reach out, I’m here. I’ll do my best to be there to listen.

This is the director, and that’s a wrap.

An Odd Thing Happened Today

After my training session yesterday, I was good to go for a good nights sleep. Sam, my trainer had me doing deadlifts and clean and jerks. I’d never done the latter, and I can say that the work out kicked my ass. So much so, that I was truly feeling it today. My legs are sore, and I wasn’t moving very well. I guess the job was well done, then.

I was called home from work because we had kids in the Emergency Room both yesterday, and today. So, being the father I am, I came to help with the kids. I feel bad that they are going through a rough patch this week, but at the same time, I’m not sorry that I took the day off to rest. It was an unexpected break, but greatly appreciated at the same time.

Getting back at the weight loss journey, I’ve set my steps up to 12,000 a day. It’s truly time for me to start stepping up my game, since I hit the loss of triple digits. So, I’m also going to be adding another day at the gym, just myself with out the trainer, but it’ll be good for me to invest in. I’m only close to the half-way point of being where I need to be on my total weight loss goal.

The one thing that does concern me about losing the weight, is the loose skin that I’ll have. I hope that it doesn’t become a problem, as my arms already have the wizard sleeve going on, and I kind of feel like Gandalf the Grey. I guess that I’ll cross that bridge as it gets closer.

Besides kids being sick, I’ve been made a where of some of my friends going through some rough patches in their lives, and I’ve offered up to help, as much as the moral guidance can. Sometimes I don’t think that it’s enough, but I always like to make it known that I’m available if they need to talk. It’s just one of the many services that The CK Project provides. Plus, we’re now dealing with merchandise, as we’ve gotten the first prototypes for shirts in yesterday. I will be revealing them in a video very soon, and now we’re looking to add it to athletic wear. It only makes sense, since it is about the weight loss journey.

It’s already hitting the ninety degree temps around here right now. It’s completely insane that it’s not even summer and the weather’s already here. So, be save, stay hydrated, and I’m gonna call this one a wrap.

-101.6, Say What?

Okay, this was the day I have been waiting for, that scale to finally tell me that I hit the triple digits with a loss. So, I feel great, amazing, excited by the fact that I haven’t been close to this weight since 2003. I’ve got a smile that can’t be beat.101.6

One of the most fantastic and odd feelings is the fact that as I do better, I want to push harder to do even better. Think of that statement, and isn’t that an odd thing to think about? Wouldn’t you think slowing down would be a better idea? Why burn yourself out like that? Yet, that’s the shit that motivates me. I’m losing inches, I’m gaining energy, and my drive to get things done is even stronger. This is what excites me, and I want to share this experience with others too.

I remember when I didn’t have a drive to do anything. It was where I would just want to come home after work and sit. I would zone out the rest of the night watching television, or I would play video games. At that time, I would feel better that I could rest my muscles and not hurt as much for my next day at work. This would also be the time that I would take ten steps and start huffing and puffing out of breath.

I can’t really imagine living that way anymore. Sure, I have days that I’m a bit lax on my steps and other movements, but most of the time, I’m on the go. That’s the way I choose to live my life now. I love my video games, but I don’t have the time that I used to for them. I’m sure I’ll spend a day or two here or there playing the new Spider-man or the new Red Dead Redemption 2, but if I’m not working on myself,  I’m working on my brands, and that is my life.

I live the hustle, why? Because I want to succeed in life at the profession of choice. These last four years was the journey of self discovery. I finally grabbed the “brass ring” and decided to run with it. I found the career that I wanted. It did take a bit longer for me to decide that I wanted to live, and now that I made that decision, I’m getting the life I wanted. I’m not trapped in a body that I never felt was mine, and now I’m happy.

I’ve found my motivation for my health, both physically and mentally. I found the motivation to go for what I wanted to do in life, and I continue to strive to get to the point that this will be my livelihood. Too many people are scared to pursue what they really want in life, and choose the “safe route”. It works for people, but are they really happy? Is there where they saw themselves in life as a child? When did we stop being the dreamers that we were of our youth?

I believe that our mistakes are the guidance that we need to make to find ourselves. Otherwise we continue to make those same damn mistakes. Sometimes, we have to go through several mistakes before we get there. I can remember at least three times, where shit hit the fan, and I hit rock bottom. That’s where the depression, magnifies the feelings of helplessness. These events define who we are as people.

The first time was February 29, 1992. This was the time that I had gotten into an accident on my bike, because I wasn’t paying attention. I think I had a hard time that day because I had gotten rejected by a girl I liked that day, or something along those lines. I suffered sever head trauma, that caused me to have a slow down in my thought process. I had to fight to get back to normal. As a matter of fact, I came back, better, and stronger.

The second time was when I was married to my ex-wife. This was a marriage of fuckery from the day she said, “I do.” Suffering complex PTSD from this relationship, thought me two things: One was not to be so trusting with people, and two how to forgive. It’s this second one that took me many years after to finally understand, I ran into my ex about seven years after we split, and I forgave her. I didn’t do it for her, but for myself. I think that this moment helped me grow into a more mature adult.

The third event that would change things, was my meltdown at work. The lesson here was that I needed help. I needed the help because I tend to bottle up everything inside until it gets too much to handle and I explode. Getting that help, got me too the point where I am now.

These moments define who I am as a person. I get that not everyone can get on the Chris Keeling band wagon, and that’s fine. I’m glad that going through life, has given me the momentum to become a tool for advice. I’m glad to use the talents to guide others, and I’m far more able to connect with people, in a way that I’ve never been able to before.

This is the Director, and that’s a wrap.

Unfollowed Success

So, as much as I’ve been talking about my successes and experiences, much like my weight loss journey, or getting my brands started. I’ve shared some other things, like my failures as a man, a husband, a father. I’ve used them as examples of my short comings, and the terms I’ve come too in life. I’m going to use this platform for kind of a rant, or more of a way to find understanding tonight.

Social media, can both be a blessing and a curse. The blessings come in the form that you can connect to long lost friends, and family. You get to share your successes, and good memories that you make. Even too the point as the memories are happening. The access is amazing with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, these platforms can appeal to our vanity, as well as our pride.

There’s the other side of social media though that causes it to be a curse as well. Some people over share their lives, which is fine, but it also opens up for critical critiquing. People secretly judge you behind their screens, without so much as a repercussion for “trolling” people. This is the side that detaches us from human interaction. This is the time when we as a judgmental society, can feel that our opinions are relevant, and we can treat each other like assholes.

I’ve vented about my relationships in the past, I’ve shared my struggles because I didn’t feel that I had anyone to actually talk to. The problem there is why it might feel gratifying, I was never sure who was actually siding with me, or who was just trying to sabotage who I was a person. People can be supportive on your timeline, but secretly sharing the info with other’s who would just assume to see some one fail.

Tonight, I was rebuked on my Facebook page about over sharing. Now, I’m not sure where he was getting all this info from, but he mentioned my wife sharing things as well, and that he was tired of see all the complaints. He even used #keepyourmarriageprivate. Now, people said that he should have private messaged me about it, which I in turn messenger him, and text him to see if everything was okay, because it wasn’t something that I felt sounded quite like him. Yes, he is someone that I know in person, but I was a bit surprised by the words he had put on my page.

I’m not going to sit here and say well, it’s my page and I can put what I want on it. That’s already a given, and like I mentioned about the dark side of social media. That’s exactly one of the problems, it gives people the feeling of entitlement, like their opinion is the only that matters. If that’s the way someone wants to take it, it is their right, but yes, that is something that the medium is there for. It just vexed me that I would get attacked for answering some simple and fun questions. They were innocent enough, after all, it wasn’t like I was trying to open the Arc of the Convenient. It wasn’t like the questions where asking if I voted for Clinton or Trump. I guess my response was interpreted the wrong way.

So, let me talk about what social media has done for me. MySpace gave me the opportunity to reconnect with some of my oldest and dearest friends from my past. People with whom I’ve grown closer too, and have gotten an abundance of support from. I’ve been able to connect with family members that I’ve never been able to meet in person, and learn about some of my heritage. I’ve also learned that I don’t always get along with some of those family members. I’ve also been able to give support to people in various states and countries around the world because of social media.

I’ve also been able to get employment from being connected to social media. Plus I was able to finally find the right schooling for me to get my degree in. I’ve grown relationships, and personally through this technology. It’s helped me grow and get my shit together. I’ve become someone I would never have thought I would be through my work online.

I’m now a businessman, trying to get three separate brands going. I’ve become a guild to those who feel that they need experience to guid them with their weight. Some have gotten help with mental health struggles. This is why I do what I do. I found a place in myself to not be selfish and give unto others. My experience has become a tool. My times of weakness, has now become my strength and I use it to be a beacon for others to find a light shining in the darkness.

While I would usually say that it’s a wrap, I have a message for the nay sayers. I am who I am, and you either like me, or you don’t. I’ve done enough in my life trying to get the approval of others, and for that I’ve lost something of myself to be a people pleaser. Sure, there are things I share with others, and some of it might be controversial, but there is something to remember in that: I’m not here to make everyone happy. I don’t give a God damn if you don’t always approve of what I say. I’m here to help those who feel that they would like it, because I’ve been lost, I’ve been ready to give up. I’ve seen people end their lives, and all I could think of was only if…. Only if I could have been there to tell them that it’s going to be okay. They are liked, even when they feel alone. I’ve thought about those people that I wish I could have reached out too. Just know that there is someone willing to listen. My success is attributed to many people behind the scenes. While it seems like I don’t always give them the props on social media, they know that they’re appreciated. Don’t worry, I got my side handled. Nobody’s going to bring down my success. I’m all aces.

 

Phase Two: The Prep

This has been an eventful week. The things that I’ve been doing are working on getting the production company going with a meeting that happened yesterday. I also have done my first week of personal training, with four out of six days with over 10k steps so far. Plus I got cleared to return to full duty. So, allow me to break this up into organized sections, as I fill you in about the week.

The biggest part about my week is that I’ve been pushing myself more physically through my workouts, and my walking. Yes, I’ve been sore, yes it kind of sucked by the time that Thursday hit, and I wasn’t moving very well, and no, I don’t wanna quit. I’ve been physical with other things as well, as I helped some friends a little with a wind turnt horse corral. We moved a little bit, because it was going to take more people to get the whole thing done, but I helped as I could. The problem there is I never feel like I did enough.

The I did almost 11k steps today, and I was working on what is going to be our studio. The sweeping and tearing down of the walls so that we can fix the issues at hand and rebuild. I actually felt more accomplished, I just wish that I did more. I know that there wasn’t much more I could really do, but I have a work horse mentality when it comes to these things(I’m the same way when working on movies, and other projects as well).

Now we’ll carry on to the Luckey Bom Film part of the blog. I’ve been fortunate to be able to multi-task and set up the first production meeting of the year. So, the question is: How do we move forward? Well, we are going to be adding people to the team. Which means that the machine is getting bigger, and we need to learn to make the bigger machine run smoother.

So, this brings up another point: How do we make the machine run smoother? Well, with only one real project under our belt, we need to start bringing out more content. That was what the meeting was about yesterday- to start expanding the team, and start producing more content. We’re well on our way to getting the next project, which will be a short, started, and I look forward to getting the filming started. Filming shorts are going the way that we become a far more well oiled machine, and will be the best way to produce an amount of content at a rather quick pace, in comparison to a feature length film. This is a great way for the creative team to work on more things, and exercise the creative muscles.

While yesterday was Friday the thirteenth, it’s funny that most people seem to find it a day of bad luck. I find it a silly superstition, because the day’s always seemed to work opposite for me. I got married on a Friday the thirteenth, I got my real estate license on that day in 2005. The most recent being that I was called for a job interview that I had to turn down, because they weren’t willing to do a Skype interview, and the job was half way across the country.

I’m going to take that as a sign that things are really going to be taking off for what I’ve been working towards soon. I’ve been staying positive, and I’ve been trying not to waver from that positivity and patience, because I know the reward is going to pay-off in the end. This journey has been in the making for at least four years. Seven if I really think of when I was wanting to go into the career field that I was interested in, even before my meltdown.

Again, things are moving forward, and I can’t be more excited. I’ll be weighing in on Friday, as I’ll be at an event out of town next weekend, so there will be an update there. As always, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap!

That Mortal Kombat Place Did What To My Arms?

Let’s start out with my weight loss journey. As of my last blog, I was down ninety-five pounds, and since my last blog, I started working out with a my friend and trainer, Sam Basco, over at Flawless Victory MMA. This is going to be an adventure….

To start out, yes, I hurt, and no I don’t need ice to help the boo boos. Sam’s training me at a half hour at a time, and I feel like I suck as a person, and weak, but that’s always in a good way. Why, do you ask? Because I suck and I’m weak(joking). He’s pushing me, and making sure I do proper form. I think that might just be the trick: doing the proper movements, so that you don’t cheat yourself out of the work out. It helps that he’s a trusted friend and he’s pushing me to that next level.

Speaking of that next level, can we say hello beach bod? The speedo is coming out(not really). This is going to be a process, but I’m going to make it, it’s just going to take time. I did a set of Deadlifts for the first time on Monday, and I must say that it felt a bit weird clinching my back into the proper position. However, I also know that this is going to get me to lose that extra to make the one hundred pound mark, which I haven’t been worried about, but getting there faster and becoming stronger is a highlight.

One of the things I did today, which is a common exercise, but I really do suck at, is the almighty push up. Two sets of twenty? Not this guy, but I did it, even in the most simplistic way possible. Today was mostly upper body, and my arms are feeling a bit like jelly. Thank you for kicking my ass Sam. I really do appreciate it. My body might not, but I do, and I know that it’ll get better in the end.

So far this week, from Monday too now, I have averaged 11,826 steps. That also means that I’ve burned 2,539 calories, and that’s just by walking. I’d say that was a strong way to start this week off. I also think that this is the fire I need to get going stronger.

The biggest problem with what’s going on is the heat and the ninety degree weather. Living here in the desert, the heat just drains all the energy, and I know that’s something I’m going to have to contend with for the next several months. As a matter of fact, I ended up falling asleep at seven-thirty last night, just to wake up at eleven to take my shower. Being a person who works outside for about ten hours a day, I know that this heat makes me tired, and unmotivated. I can’t let that happen anymore. I’ve got to keep the motivation going.

I plan on pushing to see if I can get a solid week of ten thousand steps. I’m sure I can do it, and I’m determined to see where it goes from here. I also get to take my son to the gym this weekend and see how he does. It’ll be exciting to see if it’s something that he gets into, than we can make it a regular thing.

Another thing I found myself doing this week is being guidance for some people who seemed like they weren’t sure which direction to take their lives. I offered advice, and consultation and it seemed welcome. I think that the biggest advice I could give anyone is to stay positive. Keep fighting for that which you want to achieve. It’s something that I’ve been doing, especially in the last four years. A positive mind set is the one thing that I think can help anyone get out of the rut their in.

The achievement is the reward for working hard, but the journey there is the valuable lesson. That’s it from me tonight, this is the Director, and that’s a wrap.